July 13, 2023

Creating Yourself for a Job, a Relationship, or Anything Else - Gina Carlson

Creating Yourself for a Job, a Relationship, or Anything Else - Gina Carlson

What if you could speak into being what you most wanted in the world…like your ideal life partner or the perfect position? Listen to guest Gina Carlson as she shares with host Meredith Bell how her coach Steve Hardison helped her create both of these realities. You’ll learn the key sentence that Gina carries in her heart from her time with Steve and how that’s shaped her life during the past 9 years.

Gina also describes how she came up with the money to pay Steve’s fee without having to borrow money or sell her home. This is a conversation worth listening to multiple times because there are so many gems to unpack.


About the Guest: 



Gina Carlson is the Founder of Emboditate & The Biology of Being. She is a life long seeker of how hearts and minds work. She earned her BA in Social Psychology from the University of Nevada-Reno and holds a  Masters in Spiritual Psychology with an emphasis in Consciousness, Health & Healing from the University of Santa Monica. Gina is a licensed HeartMath Certified Mentor.


Gina works with global consciousness leaders, Dr. Habib Sadeghi and Dr. Sherry Sami in their movement to grow consciousness within groups and inside organizations. She has served as a performance expert for the Achieve Institute and has led and assisted culture change for CEO’s of top legal companies. 


Currently she is a trainee of Neuro Change Solutions by Dr. Joe Dispenza. She specializes as a meditation teacher offering her proprietary approach — that combines somatics, NLP, breathwork and mindset training  — to students worldwide.


https://emboditate.com/

https://www.facebook.com/emboditate/

https://www.instagram.com/emboditate/ 


About the Host:


Meredith Bell is the Co-founder and President of Grow Strong Leaders. Her company publishes software tools and books that help people build strong relationships at work and at home.


Meredith is an expert in leader and team communications, the author of three books, and the host of the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast. She co-authored her latest books, Connect with Your Team: Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills, and Peer Coaching Made Simple, with her business partner, Dr. Dennis Coates. In them, Meredith and Denny provide how-to guides for improving communication skills and serving as a peer coach to someone else.


Meredith is also The Heart-centered Connector. One of her favorite ways of BEING in the world is to introduce people who can benefit from knowing each other.


https://growstrongleaders.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/meredithmbell



The Ultimate Coach Resources



https://theultimatecoachbook.com

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theultimatecoachbook

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14048056

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheUltimateCoachBook



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Transcript
TUCP Intro/Outro:

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate Coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from be

Meredith Bell:

Welcome to another episode of The Ultimate Coach. Hod cast. I'm Meredith Bell, one of your hosts for the show. You are going to love our guests today. I know I do. Her name is Gina Carlson. Gina, welcome to the show.

Gina Carlson:

Thank you, Meredith. I'm happy to be here.

Meredith Bell:

I'm so excited because when I read the book of being known as the ultimate coach, I was drawn in by your stories. And I've reread them multiple times. They're some of my favorites in the book. And I'm so looking forward to exploring some of those as part of our conversation today. And I'm guessing my listeners will too as we get into that, but I'll identify which chapter so they can go check it out. After our conversation, I think a good place to start is for you to describe how did you first learn about Steve Hardison? I know you coached with him, what, nine years ago. And so tell us a little bit about your journey to finding him.

Gina Carlson:

Yeah, so, you know, nothing for me is coincidence in my life. Just completed about four years at the University of Santa Monica. I was a student and then a volunteer. And it was the end of 2013. And my son was in his first he had just come home from his first semester in college. So I was living in my very first phase of that empty nest kind of trauma. Like you come out, you drop him at college, and then you come home in and it's like, what there's no hands clapping there. What you know, there's no nobody there cheering you on to your next bowler identity of life. And I ended up New Year's Eve 2013. Joining a friend of Byron, Katie New Year's Eve weekend. And Steve Hardison was there. And my friend nudged me and said, That's Steve Hardison, and I knew of him because he's a University of Santa Monica graduate. I, I'll never forget my first view of him, I just saw this magnificent presence and in in his stature, he's tall in his just, you know, in the world of men, he's, you can't miss Steve in a room. And then his energy and his smile in the way he dressed. He was there with Lindsey, Lil his daughter, I just My heart started to pound. And I didn't like the feeling because I'm in just historically that for me means this is a meeting. This is something for me. And I didn't know what it was. And I was a little tapped out on. You know, I've been 15 years with coaching or getting my masters are different kinds of transformational practices. And yet, I also was feeling a little bit uncertain about what was next for me. I had a thriving career at the time, but I felt like I had a larger contribution to make. And so much of the why of everything that I did in corporate was to be a good provider for my son, and it was not a natural habitat for me. And really, when I think about what was my goal for a lot of that journey, Incorporated was just to not get hired with just to hit my numbers in sales. And, you know, I ended up you know, having a spectacular, amazing, meaningful career there, that I knew there was more and there Steve Hardison, and an introduction was made. And he invited me to have dinner with him on New Year's Eve at the Byron Katie event. And I was so he, his presence and his sincerity and his his invitation. It was so powerful. I said yes and, and make calls change plans. And so that was my first experience with Steve Hardison and our dinner was very ordinary, it was very having dinner with a friend. We just got to know each other. And he asked me what I was up to, and what I was going for in my life. And that just kind of launched. You know, two months later, I was writing that first check. And lots happened in those first eight weeks before I started coaching with him February 1 2014, right around there, give or take a day. And what I went through in those eight weeks between the years even and okay, I don't do math very well, five weeks, eight, February, New Year's Eve till the beginning of February, what I went through was such a shift and such an upgrade, just even thinking that big of a possibility of hiring a coach who commanded that rate and the level of commitment that it was because as you know, you don't you don't do zoom with Steve Hardison, you, you fly to Arizona, and you're on time and, and you'd be reading precedent for, for the experience. So

Meredith Bell:

Well, you know, it's so interesting Gina, that you talked about the writing the big cheque, because that was one of the stories in the book that I read. And I thought, Oh, this is so fascinating, because I think it was chapter the cost of coaching was the name of that chapter. And in that you have a little vignette about asking Steve, for the single mom discount.

Gina Carlson:

Yeah, well, it made sense, right. Yeah.

Meredith Bell:

And so tell us about his response. And what you did then to come up with the fee to pay him as a single mom.

Gina Carlson:

Yeah. So. So to be really honest with you, his response really surprised me. It basically was no, no. And it was firm and loving, but it was, here's why. I can never do that to you. I never disempower you I would never not be for you. And the possibility that if you want this, you can have it and if you're committed to it, resources are going to show up and any kind of sent me on my merry way in this beautiful competence and, and love and encouragement. And he was excited to work with like it was it was I really was feeling his valuing the opportunity to coach me, I was feeling that it was sincere. It was it was there was a resonance there. And so, yeah, go the airport, get on the plane, and I got out one of those little Southwest's napkins and a pen and I'm like, okay, you know, what are the ways I could do this, and all the obvious ones, you know, I could sell my house. I could, I could, I could borrow the money, there was all these ways that I could put it on credit cards, I've really good credit, like, there were all these I could bust into the retirement, there were all these ways that that were sort of the first wave of ideas. And I and then if they weren't right, they didn't feel abundant. They didn't feel like they were coming from me being in the unknown, asking the question, they just kind of felt like my strategic mind. You know, figuring it out, angling for way and, and nothing wrong with that. It's been a way I've done it that way in life. And usually though, it's stressful. And in hindsight, you know, I've been able to see there's better ways, but I just sat with it and and what I had to come to in myself when it came to myself was really, the thing to deal with was a sense of unworthiness, that deep down blocking my creativity of what's, what are the possibilities here for this? Where could the resources come from? They were on the other side of this really deep, unconscious sense of unworthiness. And so, I sat with that and sat with that and I had just been hired by a company had been recruited to come to this company in my industry that was recently taken over by a CEO that I had previously worked with earlier in my career. And I'm working for this company. It's a struggling company. I met with the CEO. And I said, here's what's going on, you know, you brought me over here, you believe in me. But I need help. And I would like Steve Hardison, on my team to help me do this. And so he was very supportive in giving me whatever the resources I needed to be successful for him at this company. And so we just structured, it just really was a restructuring of my comp package in such a way that Steve's view is covered, basically. And, you know, I never would have asked, it never would have occurred to me to ask, it never would have, I wouldn't have never seen that creative possibility, if I hadn't first gotten to that. That reality of that thing that that who am I to ask this new boss, he was an old boss, and I knew him and he had competency, but who am I, he's got so much going on, he's got this new company, it's a struggling company, and who am I to come in with such a, to me, it just seemed like an extraordinary request. He was in, he was so in. And he was so supportive and excited. And it was, I think I talked about it in the book, it was like, I really didn't need the coaching after that, because to have come up with the fee. It the opportunity he gave me to go bigger, to go deeper and myself. And the resources would be there. It was just one of the most extraordinary events of, of my life, to have it unfold that way.

Meredith Bell:

Thank you for bringing that to life and filling in those details. Because I think there's so many layers to what you just talked about that I think are That in itself is enough for people to stop and reflect on what gets in our way of asking, and the willingness to go deeper to find out what's really behind our hesitation to ask, because you have these ideas related to this boss. Initially, that was to me, you know, kind of this the surface part. But there were these deeper issues around your own feeling of who am I to do this? And I'm just curious, do you remember gene out what process you went through? In terms of sitting with it? Listening to overcome that hesitation? And decide, I'm going to ask for this?

Gina Carlson:

Yeah, it you know, largely it was working with reframing it. And just honest questions like, just around commitment that, that, me thinking small, me making this about my work is really me failing this company, and the CEO. And the challenge of, of taking on this role at this company, it was big, and to not do everything that I could to bring everything that I could to the table was, it just was that was it just became just real sandpaper on my values. And so I you know, I think that's one of the heartbreaks of humanity is we're really stuck in these filters and these lenses through which we're, we're seeing life and believing what we see. And to just, you know, remove the filter and put another one in there like, Oh, my God, they're counting on you. Really, you're that that's not a big enough reason to, you know, and it wasn't easy to go up to the CEO and say, Hey, can we talk? You know, that was not an easy conversation. But once it was coming from a place of service, and about what the objective was about, being able to overcome the challenges and what it would take, it just moved into a whole other place of love. And it was a very loving experience and with with the CEO there, I wasn't talking him into anything. I wasn't selling him on anything. I was just putting forth I was showing him something a possibility. And yeah,

Meredith Bell:

that is just it's such a wonderful lesson, I think, for all of us to think about reframing, as you said, when we want to ask for something, looking at it is, how would it be a disservice to myself for this other person? If I don't ask? Yeah, you know, what are we going to miss out on? If I don't take this step? As opposed to oh, I'm bothering them? I'm, you know, or fear of rejection. I mean, there's just so many things that, like you say, we put these filters in and expect things, but to come from that spirit of love and service. I'm sure he felt that, you know, people can sense where we're the place we're coming from, when we are interacting with them. And so your whole demeanor, your way of being with him, had an impact on on his receptivity? I would think.

Gina Carlson:

Absolutely, absolutely.

Meredith Bell:

And when you think about your coaching time with Steve, what would you say were some of the other elements of say, limitations or beliefs that you held that he helped you to unwrap? And and maybe drop off?

Gina Carlson:

I love this question. One of the I'm probably a little bit of a wacky profile of client, that is a typical to Steve, because a big part of my, my, my call that work with him is, you know, in a patriarchal culture that we live in, I have been very bought into some of the classic stereotypes in corporate, that have to do with gender, how I would poise myself in a conversation conversation with a male colleague, or boss versus a female. And I was, I can feel that, like the limitations, but they were concretized in me, and they were, there was a way that my, you know, the deep root of it was limiting me in my professional life. And so, when I first met Steve, like, so many times, when I meet male authority, I have a fight or flight freeze response, I freeze. And I really contract and I get into this defended state, I dig down and you know, the underlying thought was even having a new wave of discovery on this, there's like this underlying thought, something bad is going to happen, something bad is going to happen. And so I thought, what better opportunity for me to get free of this than to work with a coach, who not only is a master, at at teacher of empowerment, and freedom and love and service, but also is going to be in one of these male authoritarian bodies? I know this is weird, right? This is probably not what you're used to hearing. But it was so helpful, because he was such a safe place for me to just confront all of my like, why. And the one of the first things that happened is, he made me go to landmark. Because I came in probably my second or third session, talking about how often male colleagues or authority make me feel something. Make me feel like a cocktail waitress with no brain or a person to run and get the coffee or, and oh, my God, did he get me on that one? And he said, I'm not doing I'm we're not, that weren't, there won't be one more session until you go do landmark, the landmark course, which was really brilliant and a huge, it gave me a just the right context for how the conversation was with Steve would go over the next four years, that nothing happens outside of my own thinking. And so that was just a huge piece of work. That helped me get free. And so it tells me your original question here was what were some of the other things that that I discovered

Meredith Bell:

Uncover in terms of of limitations you had, I mean, you you just touched on a big one. In terms of your perspective. I guess what other lenses are filtered? Did he help you break away from?

Gina Carlson:

I think that in my personal development journey, which has been my my number one priority, since I was a kid, the idea that nothing happens outside of my own thinking, and the 1000 ways that I got to see the truth of that through his coaching and support, and just how it's still in me now, because I catch myself in thinking, or assumptions about life or the world or myself. And he's now embodied in me, Jean, and there's nothing happening outside your own thinking, go get it, what is it for yourself? So, you know, there's so many I mean, he's an enlightened man and his, his mastery of being and, and as it's, you know, he's an example of it. It's life is, you know, obvious there's, there's just such a transmission and a download that I received and being in the room with him, being one of his clients, you know, an upgrade, incomparable. But that would be I had to characterize it, I would say, I think what will be with me for all of eternity, his blessing for me, there is nothing happening outside of your thinking.

Meredith Bell:

Yeah, that's so powerful. Well, thinking about your own thinking. The other favorite story of yours from the book of being was in chapter 27, on creation, and it's where he created you, as the chief culture officer. And I would love for you to share that story. In your own words, what was the evolution there the spark that caused him to say that and then how it actually came to be?

Gina Carlson:

Yes, that was a great day. It was, it was a what I'll never forget this day, it was my field trip day at Infusionsoft, who is, you know, clay mask is is one of or has been, or is I don't know if he still is, but as Steve Hardison client and my passion was around culture, it was how I ended my corporate career CEOs asking you to help shift culture and, and so he very generously brought me to Infusionsoft for a field trip to look at a possibility of a culture, a corporate culture, and it just blew my socks off. Being there and, and just watching just the way that employees were, how they were engaged. The way that they supported that whole creative process, but also an environment of great integrity and productivity. It was just this beautiful, like the best I'd ever seen of form and formless working together in a dance like, typically, you know, corporate, it can either be too rigid or too loose, but that there was such an amazing creation happening there. And so he brought me there for the field trip and we were sitting in his had to get his Porsche to get to Infusionsoft, which I don't do speed, I'm pretty much the snail speed person, I prefer it slower, the better. So, so. So that happens, and you know, maybe he might drive, you know, fast and, and we go and we do the field trip. And some funny things happen there. But that's too long of a story. There were some learnings for me, where I'll share a quick one that was very funny. We came out and we got in the car. And he was ruffled, like there was rustling in his demeanor. And, and so he was very visceral. And he said, You didn't follow the play. And I was like, like the law like No, no idea what he's talking about. I said what he said, I called the play and you didn't call the play well, I got so over whelmed with my enthusiasm for Infusion Soft that I sort of broke out a little bit and was taking liberties and having conversation I think I was even in plates office, you know, where I was invited to come and sort of witness a thing and, and I just was beside myself with it. I was like a little kid. And I was very enthusiastic and very, you know, not being mindful of the space and the objective. Totally Miss play, calling this play which stuff Oh, anyway, that was it was a it was a learning moment of not you know, the blind spots of not being aware and getting to Okay, yeah. So how to how to manage enthusiasm with some containment and anyway, so yeah, but it was after that. And then you know, as always, I love you, you know, I love you like, Okay, thank you. And so we're sitting there in the Porsche and just, you know, engaged in a conversation about what my experience was and, and he said, you know, we're and we were really, the whole thing is what is my next version of me? What is my next career? What's my next way that I'm going to be contributing? And we're gonna have a conversation. He says, Well, you know, you you're a visionary. I said, Well, yeah, I mean, yeah. He said, CEOs are missionaries. Oh, yeah. No, I was like, big. No, I don't want to be a CEO. I don't know why, but at the time, it No, it was just No, but what occurred for me in the when he said that I said, but I'd sure love to coach I'm sure love to help them shift culture and, and forward their dream and their vision. And that's when he said, oh, so, chief culture officer, is kind of how that happened. And then I was, oh, Steve, come on, What planet are you from? There is no such thing. I've been in corporate 20 years. I know, HR, I know what, you know, is going on there. And I was just, I couldn't like I was like this and he was steady, Eddie, he was just hanging in there with me. In all this, you know, ranting, you said, just start speaking it into the world and having conversation, wherever you are on airplanes. In fact, today, when you fly back to LA, have a conversation with the person next to you just start having yourself occur as the chief culture officer, it's who you are. So so it's like he's saying, Get who you are. Stop meeting the world to get who you are, you get who you are. And watch what happened. And, you know, that was June of 2014. Yeah. And September of 2014, and the stories in the book of being, you know, at, you know, the CEO of a company asked to meet with me in and I, I wasn't looking for a job, but with a CEO says, I'd like to meet with you, I would, you know, I use those as opportunities to just have a conversation with visionary, but I wasn't looking for a new position, right. So I was kind of more maybe candid and loose in the conversation and kind of wasn't trying to put a best self forward. I was just sharing my experience and my life and my journey professionally. And he just kept leaning in and leaning in this CEO, Ken Campbell. And he said that words, I want you to come work for me and I went to being the chief culture officer. And I, you know, at this point, I'm like, trying to be cool, because inside I was freaking out. And I hung out for sans excuse me, and, and I got up and I went in the bathroom. And we were at the new port. The Newport Beach, Ritz Carlton in the Swank, you know, cocktail lounge restaurant, and I'm in the stall in the bathroom, and it's nine o'clock at night, but I had to call Steve. I called him Steve Hardison. You're never gonna believe what happened. And, and anyway, I think I got his voicemail left a message, or maybe I got him in person. I don't remember. But it was pretty, pretty incredible.

Meredith Bell:

And my guess is he was not surprised at all.

Gina Carlson:

Yeah. Oh, no.

Meredith Bell:

You know, yeah, it's such a powerful story. And I've read it, like I said, multiple times. Because of the power of speaking into the world. Who it is we really are. I love that you framed it that way. This whole idea of, we're not being disingenuous, or trying to pull something off where we actually see ourselves that way as we speak it and it goes back to holding back that you think Gina goes circling back to the unworthy miss, who am I to say something like this? Do you think that's in there too?

Gina Carlson:

Oh, it's, you know, I would call it a crisis of the human species but certainly territory I know well, and and, you know, at this point of life, when I'm in that uncertainty, that unknown, creating from nothing, when I'm and I'm kind of in one of those phases again in my life, and there is that it. Yeah, it's just sort of reflex it's primal, it, it's the first thing that locks me down is Danger Danger Red Alert, alert, let's use the unworthiness tactic to stop her because she's about to go off again and create something from nothing. And that's really freaky and scary. And, and I just I don't know, in a way, like who I am in terms of this dynamic because creation for me is, well, I think probably for a lot of people, but it's torture. In the beginning, it's so uncomfortable. And I think a lot of just, I left corporate in 2015. And a lot of what I've learned in the last eight years now, how I've been creating this new iteration, and what I love his meditation and all the ways that all the ways that just different ways of meditating, and how that can help free us so that we can live the life of our dreams that he had a lot of my efforts in the last eight years have been recreating from that old identity, from the vice president of sales from the chief culture officer, like, Those were hard won identities that replaced, you know, former identities of Oh, and just a cocktail waitress, high school dropout, you know, and but I got very attached to them, I got very attached. And, you know, what's exciting about life now is to be able to look at what it's cost me to not be willing to let those go, just let them fade, let their dead bodies that was then this is now as if you know, the be all end all of my life was to be, you know, an executive in a corporation, which I love, and I'm proud of, and I worked from my whole heart in being my best. And that was the result. I was never aiming for it that would have given me a heart attack, just my wiring. But I was so awed by how the outcome unfolded just by operating from my heart and doing the best I can and showing up and being willing to think big. And muddle through and, and so but then, yeah, yeah, it's hard to let go of it and start over clean slate, I'll be honest.

Meredith Bell:

Well, and you know, I appreciate that. Because I think sometimes we can think, oh, I should have figured this out by now, you know, or why am I experiencing this experiencing this? Again, I, I've learned to be more gentle with myself, in terms of listening, but not criticizing myself for things like that, that come the thoughts that come in. And I love what you've just said about letting go or letting them fall away. These earlier identities that were important for various reasons, and being willing to step into that unknown, recognizing it's going to be uncomfortable at first. And that's okay, because it sounds like you recognize that part of the process of making that shift or moving into a new identity. And I remember in in our earlier conversation, Gina, you talked about something Steve taught you around relationship creation. And I would love for you to share, because I think that would be very meaningful and relevant to our listeners.

Gina Carlson:

Oh, yeah. Thank you. I don't know why I didn't put this one. Where where it is, you know, is 2020 and I was living in a Travelodge in Ojai that summer, on seven liters of oxygen. Having just literally escaped the mainstream medical model the ICU with the help of some just genius doctors. And Alan Thompson and and Amy Hardison invited me to share my story with Steve was when that was happening. And I wasn't feeling up to it in a way just being just trying to I was just trying to stay alive at this point. That's another story. It was, as it turns out, it was a stress response, but nobody could figure it out. And you know, because it was affecting the lungs. It was pretty serious. But in the end again, it wasn't serious. It was distressing more than any thing else. So, and that was that's yeah. So anyway, there I was. And yeah, the the story didn't end up going into the book. But I would say that of all the things oh, this will make me weep, Meredith, of all the things that I created with Steve Hardison, my relationship with Bob is the one that is my greatest treasure. He's my life partner, my soulmate, the love of my life. And so it's let's see, here, it's 2014 15. And I had been separated five years had a very beautiful completion to my marriage, and was very intentional about partnership going forward and being really clear and intentional and what I wanted in a partner. And so I brought it to Steve said, I really want to create my partner. And so he really supported me in well, who is he to you? Who are you to him? And so I did these elaborate yami writings about how I feel with you DP, I call him DP, how I feel when I'm with you, who you are to me, but also who I am to you. And to feel into who I was to him was never an experience I've ever had in relationship, and hence probably why they didn't go well. How I was showing up in relationships. Oh, the universe has a sense of humor. I spent a couple years in this process. And oh, my God, it's like New Year's Eve again. Do that 1016. This man. He met our neighbor introduced us he calls in he asked me to go to dinner. And it was actually the night before New Year's Eve, December 30. And I was a little bit he had called me a few weeks before and said, Oh, would you like to have lunch, you're new to the neighborhood. And then crickets. I never heard from him. He calls New Year's Eve and invites me to dinner. And the funny part about this is his name is Robert Hayes, and he's an actor. And he's known for some of the most heartfelt movies of our time airplane, Homeward Bound Star Man series in the 80s and I was a little reticent about that part of it. Having lived in LA for 30 years. But that the metaphor of star of Star Dust of miracle of otherworldly of universe this man is the embodiment of he is the most beautiful man like who he is as a man and and that that he said comedic actor to was hilarious because my father was comedy writer and the joke in the family is I don't get jokes as being so literal. So but yeah, it's been six and a half years of just beautiful. Creating our relationship and it is funny we face fires, he lost his home in the fires in 2018. Like, epic flooding. One year it was floods when there was fires, it was you know, life threatening illness pandemics. The big. There's like, well, well, well we're in this together, dealing with some really extraordinary events that the whole world was dealing with. But but it was such a test in our relationship of are we doing this together? We are we doing this? You know, to be have a partner who loses his home and 20 years and it's a deal. There's some trauma there and there's some some way that you know, when you're in union with a person my My pain is your pain. My you know where we're in this, our energies are commingling every day and, and we have just, you know, continue to emerge in deeper love and commitment and I it's probably the proudest thing in my whole life is the quality of loving in this relationship with this man. And he wouldn't be here without Steve Hardison because Steve made me do some really embarrassing hard things in the beginning. tell you one, probably the main one, but he said, This is a couple months and he said I want you to tell him who used to you. Now we've had four dates. And I'm thinking this isn't how it goes. You don't for dates in have a conversation with a man you know, letting him know he's your soulmate? Like no like what you went you want to scare the guy out like as no I'm not doing that. And, and yet, that deeper knowing in me is, is this is a trust walk and, like get outside of your cultural conditioning. And one of the things Steve said is, you know, if he runs good, you know, it's not him, like, the Keys set it up in such a way that I'm gonna win either way. But it was, it was still really scary. And at the time, Bob had a really bad flu. And we had gone for a drive and, and we had pulled over on the side of the road to look at if you and I reached in my purse, and I got a kid this little folded up piece of paper and like, I have to tell you something, you know, and like me, and so nervous and feeling just so awkward, but it was my heart. And it was real. And it meant everything to me. And I just told him what he was to me and who I hope I was to him. He said nothing. And I thought that was it. And six and a half years later, he's that one guy in my life, who doesn't talk a big game. He just shows up as a big game. He just kept showing up. And he just keeps showing up. Yeah,

Meredith Bell:

what did the story

Gina Carlson:

For each other, we show up for each other thing. And thank you Steve Hardison for your your brilliant and doing things so wackadoodle ly differently.

Meredith Bell:

Well, it fits because you said your wacky New Leaf does, I would say but you know, it's this whole idea of, of his ability to see in us what we can't see in ourselves, and to have that knowing and to speak with confidence. And you know, the truth is one of the key takeaways for me from the book is there's nothing that he does that we can't also do. We can, we also have that same ability to be that perhaps for someone else in our lives, I love your story and the push and your acknowledgement of the resistance that you felt and yet still followed through because in your heart, you knew it was the right thing to do. I think that's the key thing when we're interacting with someone where we have the confidence that they care deeply about us, and they have our best interests at heart. And they can see the future us that we can see in that moment. And that's what he was able to see. I just that's such a beautiful story. Gina, we can continue talking, we need to wrap up just because of time. And I would love for you to share a little bit about what you're doing today how people can connect with you and learn more about the work that you're doing in this world.

Gina Carlson:

Yeah, thank you, I want to I want to say, take 10 seconds to say, just adding on to what you spoke is, as all of us who care about our personal development are choosing coaches or mentors. The thing that made it possible for me to follow Steve's lead, is he never asked me to do anything he hadn't already done, and that there wasn't evidence in his life, that wonderful things are gonna happen. So I just wanted to say that, because I do believe in verifying, not blindly following, but really verifying, you know, who are choosing to lead precious us to guide precious us. So yeah, so my work is ever evolving, embodied state. It's a movement, breath and mindset focused meditation practice is really, for anyone who's identified with being highly sensitive or had traumas, there's ways that we do get locked down subconsciously. And it needs a little more than focusing on thoughts. It needs sometimes to be worked out with some movement, wisdom breath with, just creatively in the body because that part of us, you know, that part of us is 95% unconscious, it's irrational, it doesn't respond to reason. So those of us who've had who are highly sensitive or who've had, you know, more trauma than is healthy, say there's healthy trauma that the pressure and stress that makes us grow, but then there's, there's ways that people just get stuck and locked down this. This is my work. This is my passion. And just combining that with neurolinguistics with working Yeah, working with the mind working with breath and really just letting people discover for themselves this this territory They are of inner resources that, you know, so much of the information just does come in since orally, not cognitively, and to be able to identify that as information. And then it's so amazing how our biological intelligence once we give it license to okay, what is that? And listen to our bodies. That information. It's so it's so intelligent genius so so this is my work there's a new launch that that is me it's called the biology of being, which really does speak to and it's funny because the acronym is Bob. So, so, so yeah, it really does speak to what my work is, what my contribution is and how I love to support and serve.

Meredith Bell:

That's great. And that's embodied Tate that combines embody and meditation, right?

Gina Carlson:

Is to me, yeah, it's embodying your, your, your knowledge, your your thoughts, the ones you want to have. It's getting it so felt deeply in the felt sense of your being. That it is it is the becoming of you. And it is my journey. And it was part of the complement that my meditation practice brought to my work with Steve Hardison. It was a total marriage and very effective for me. So it's,

Meredith Bell:

that's wonderful. Gina, thank you, you are such a gift to me to this community and the world. So thank you for the beautiful way you show up with love and service today, and I'm guessing every day, and it's just been a joy talking with you today. Thank you. Thank you.