March 14, 2024

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Climbing the Corporate Ladder with Michelle Ji-Yeun Kim

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Climbing the Corporate Ladder with Michelle Ji-Yeun Kim

Welcome back to the Speak in Flow Podcast with your host, Melinda Lee! In today's episode, we dive deep into the realms of corporate success and personal growth with our esteemed guest, Michelle J Kim. Michelle is a renowned executive coach and author, specializing in empowering individuals to break through barriers and thrive in their professional lives.

1. **Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Self-Doubt:** Michelle shares her insights on navigating the treacherous waters of imposter syndrome and conquering self-doubt. She offers practical tips and strategies for silencing that inner critic and embracing your true potential.

2. **The New Rules of Executive Presence:** Drawing from a recent Harvard Business Review article, Michelle unpacks the evolving landscape of executive presence. She highlights the critical shifts in mindset and behavior necessary to command attention and influence in today's corporate environment.

3. **Climbing the Corporate Ladder with Executive Communication:** Communication is key to success in any leadership role. Michelle delves into the nuances of executive communication and reveals how mastering this skill can propel you up the corporate ladder.

4. **Strategies for Being Seen and Heard:** In a world filled with naysayers and skeptics, it's essential to find your voice and stand out from the crowd. Michelle shares invaluable strategies for making your presence known and amplifying your impact, even in challenging environments.

5. **Conquering Fear and Embracing the Uncomfortable:** Fear can be a paralyzing force that holds us back from reaching our full potential. Michelle discusses the importance of embracing discomfort and stepping outside your comfort zone to foster personal and professional growth.

**Article Reference:**

During our conversation, Michelle references a thought-provoking article from the Harvard Business Review titled ["The New Rules of Executive Presence"](https://hbr.org/2024/01/the-new-rules-of-executive-presence). This insightful piece offers valuable insights into the changing dynamics of leadership and provides practical guidance for cultivating a powerful executive presence.

Thank you for tuning in to this enlightening episode of the Speak in Flow Podcast! Don't forget to subscribe for more inspiring conversations and actionable insights to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life. Stay tuned for our next episode, where we'll continue our journey towards mastery and fulfillment. Until then, keep flowing!

About Melinda:

Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.

She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.

Website: https://speakinflow.com/

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow

Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall

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Transcript
Melinda Lee:

Welcome to the Speak In Flow podcast where we



Melinda Lee:

dive into strategies, techniques to change the way this world



Melinda Lee:

communicates for the better. I have an amazing leader I can't



Melinda Lee:

wait for you to meet today. Her name is Michelle J Kim. She's a



Melinda Lee:

Reb ops leader, as well as the director of sales strategy and



Melinda Lee:

operations at Zendesk. She also started her very own podcast,



Melinda Lee:

breaking the tech ceiling. I'm excited for you to meet her. So



Melinda Lee:

I dive right in and ask her how does she get herself into the



Melinda Lee:

tech world? Anyways, here we go.



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: When I was in college, I was like many people



Melinda Lee:

trying to figure out like, what is it that I want to do? What's



Melinda Lee:

my passion? And it was 2008. So part of the you know, there was



Melinda Lee:

an economic downturn at that point. And I had a dichotomy



Melinda Lee:

right out two roads diverged in the woods, as thick as Robert



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Frost would say. And I went to DC to see if I could get a job



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on Capitol Hill. But then I also had alum in my Korean



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traditional drumming group, whose sister was looking for



Melinda Lee:

sales reps. So it was either it's two hands, a hand a bird in



Melinda Lee:

the hand or two in the bush, right? So at that point, you



Melinda Lee:

know, just with my kind of my upbringing and my personality,



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more at that time, I would say, I decided to go with a bird in



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the hand versus two in the bush, and gotten an introduction to



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Director of Sales at a tech company named Irene Chang.



Melinda Lee:

She's, I love her, she's my mentor, she's been my sponsor, I



Melinda Lee:

just can't say enough good things about her. And everyone



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feels the same about her. And so I interviewed with her. And, you



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know, I definitely was bad at negotiating at the time, and



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speaking up for myself. But you know, she didn't get solid and



Melinda Lee:

was like, Michelle, no, that's not how much you need to get



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paid more than that. So, you know, I don't think she'll get



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in trouble 15 years later from now, but like, she really has



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shefford shepherded me through the early part of my career, she



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has been someone that I go to Time and again, for career



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advice, and for, you know, help whenever I have a situation at



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work, or my career that I need some mentorship on. But really,



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you know, I've learned over the years that I can't just rely on



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this, go back to the same wall over and over again. So I try to



Melinda Lee:

give her a reprieve and try to connect with her whenever I can.



Melinda Lee:

But that's how I got into tech. And just for just for everyone



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to know a little bit about me. It wasn't just sales. So I



Melinda Lee:

started my career in SAS software, hardware sales. And



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then I went into marketing, and I did programme management. And



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then I did CS or customer success operations. And then



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I've been at Zendesk now for over four years doing sales



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strategy and operations. But I will say that it's been a very



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common theme through my life and my career to have been this is



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very rare, like not a lot of women executives that I talked



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to have had mentors and sponsors in their career that look like



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them. And and in the regard of I've had several Asian and Asian



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American women leaders in my career, I've been very, very



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grateful for that. And it actually stems into or I guess,



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ties into kind of the theme of my life, I grew up in the bay



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area with 10 aunts, blood relative aunts, my mom is one of



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10 kids, she has eight sisters, my dad had two sisters. And, you



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know, we were a very, I've been very lucky to have grown up in a



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very family oriented environment, we would get



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together for barbecues and dinners at my house. And you



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know, another avenue you just, you just never know, with your



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family. I never really never really clicked for me, but I



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actually have an aunt, who is was an SVP at Samsung for many



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years. And so, you know, like, I never really talked to her about



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career pathing when I was younger, so I really encourage



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listeners to think about who's in your environment who's in



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your network, because you just never know, like the people who



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are your you know, if you're a parent, you know, your soccer



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camp, other moms, other dads, you know, like making those



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connections and finding out like, kind people and finding



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those people who, you know, contribute to the world in a



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positive way. I think it's, it's really part of what excites me



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in life. Right?



Melinda Lee:

I mean, it just sounds like you were able to



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capitalise know who the people in your circle are your



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community and it's true. I think that sometimes people



Melinda Lee:

underestimate how in people they do really know. I mean, they



Melinda Lee:

don't like Think it's they don't mean just to do that exercise is



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sit down, who can I reach out to or who's in my circle whose



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mind, maybe they think about the immediate circle, or never



Melinda Lee:

there's probably a tonne of people outside the broader



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circle. And people nowadays I feel like are willing to help



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are willing to especially if you are someone that is just genuine



Melinda Lee:

lying to people, you know, we just to be surrounded by these



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type of people, and to know who to call to I think people are



Melinda Lee:

just willing to do that to route. Yeah, I mean, look, we



Melinda Lee:

use your really relationships to get in the door for work, and



Melinda Lee:

also learn and have a mentor, which is



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: rare. Yeah. And I mean, it was really kind of an



Melinda Lee:

accident. I mean, I don't think I was very intentional about it



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when I was starting out in my career, but, you know, they say,



Melinda Lee:

I think I had a Berkeley UC Berkeley professor, say, like



Melinda Lee:

your six degrees? Or maybe it's like six degrees away from Kevin



Melinda Lee:

Bacon thing. Yeah, you know, so like, you just never know



Melinda Lee:

who to who never know, especially



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: the cousin of the doctor, you know. So, yeah,



Melinda Lee:

you



Melinda Lee:

want social media and just say, Hi, how are you



Melinda Lee:

doing? And you just connect? What are your degrees of



Melinda Lee:

conviction? So tell me so what it sounds like you have a



Melinda Lee:

fascinating industry, tech, career journey in the tech



Melinda Lee:

industry, you went through a lot of different different roles,



Melinda Lee:

and you climbed a ladder in the, in the tech industry. So what



Melinda Lee:

are the hardest was one of the hardest things in that industry



Melinda Lee:

as a minority woman leader.



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: There's two things I'm going to call out



Melinda Lee:

that have been a challenge for me personally. So I think in



Melinda Lee:

general, one of the hardest things about being confident in



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the workplace for myself is self doubt. And I don't know if



Melinda Lee:

you're familiar with the different types of imposter



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syndrome that exist. And I don't I actually even don't even like



Melinda Lee:

that expression of imposter syndrome, because I don't think



Melinda Lee:

it's, it's not a syndrome, it's something that, you know, many



Melinda Lee:

people feel as a result of, you know, what, pressures we that



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are expected, you know, expectations of us. But, you



Melinda Lee:

know, I, I have a lot of, quote unquote, impostor syndrome



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around like, not being not knowing enough not being an



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expert. But, you know, I know a lot. I mean, there's a reason



Melinda Lee:

I've changed roles I've been promoted at Zendesk, I've been



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here, for four years, I got promoted twice within the first



Melinda Lee:

few years. And so you know, it's not, it's not for nothing. But I



Melinda Lee:

would say that, as a female, as a Asian American. in tech, it's,



Melinda Lee:

it's really hard when I have that self doubt, and I'm doing



Melinda Lee:

everything I can to build my confidence to build my



Melinda Lee:

competency, so I can feel more competent, because I'm confident



Melinda Lee:

because that's, you know, where my, where my, where my



Melinda Lee:

challenges are. But I think two challenges, specifically one is,



Melinda Lee:

and this is just the case, it's not me calling out good or bad.



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But the majority of leaders that I work with, are white men. And



Melinda Lee:

I already doubt myself enough. But when there are white men in



Melinda Lee:

the room, who start to doubt me in a public forum, that's really



Melinda Lee:

hard. And I take it kind of personally, and I really, I work



Melinda Lee:

with an executive coach that got mentors, but that's something



Melinda Lee:

that's been really hard for me to overcome. And I try my best



Melinda Lee:

to just shake it off, right, dust off your shoulder, get up.



Melinda Lee:

And don't take things personally. But you know, when



Melinda Lee:

people question your expertise, and you have to constantly



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reinforce and reiterate that you are the expert, that you have a



Melinda Lee:

lot of the domain knowledge that you have information that they



Melinda Lee:

don't, that is exhausting. And then I say the second thing



Melinda Lee:

that's really hard, is just constantly being interrupted and



Melinda Lee:

talked over. And I don't think people realise, at least in my



Melinda Lee:

personal experience, and I can only speak to my experience,



Melinda Lee:

right? I grew up in a culture where you're not supposed to



Melinda Lee:

speak over people. You're not supposed to speak back to your



Melinda Lee:

elders, and it's taken 15 plus years of experience in the



Melinda Lee:

corporate space to realise you know what, unfortunately,



Melinda Lee:

sometimes I do have to talk over people, because otherwise I



Melinda Lee:

won't get heard. And so, you know, I've been told like, I was



Melinda Lee:

really surprised because I'm someone who's quite vocal, and I



Melinda Lee:

will share my opinions. And so I've tried very intentionally to



Melinda Lee:

do less of that sometimes because sometimes it's not



Melinda Lee:

warranted. But you know, What's conflicting? Right? Because when



Melinda Lee:

we're the theme is executive presence, you need to speak up



Melinda Lee:

and be heard. But what's the balance right? When you have



Melinda Lee:

people who are constant interrupters, people who just go



Melinda Lee:

on and on and on, it's really hard to get a word. And so I've



Melinda Lee:

really been intentional about trying to choose my words



Melinda Lee:

wisely, take pauses, give people time to react, take some time



Melinda Lee:

before I react. And before I say something, and obviously, I'm



Melinda Lee:

not perfect, but those are two challenges that I've faced, just



Melinda Lee:

from like a, you know, my personality and how I have shown



Melinda Lee:

up in my life prior to gaining more confidence, I would say.



Melinda Lee:

And just like from a cultural background, right, like, even



Melinda Lee:

though I'm very much a Americanized person, I was born



Melinda Lee:

in the United States, my parents immigrated here they met, and



Melinda Lee:

they had me I was born in the Bay Area. But I'm gonna



Melinda Lee:

reference Jane Hans book, breaking the bamboo ceiling



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where she talks about, you know, cultural assimilation, which I



Melinda Lee:

am very much an American. But it takes generations to get past



Melinda Lee:

the value, values assimilation. So it'll always be hard for me



Melinda Lee:

to it's not hard, necessarily, but it always will feel a little



Melinda Lee:

weird to me to kind of like speak over people or like, you



Melinda Lee:

know, just because I'm not getting a chance to be heard. So



Melinda Lee:

I think that all plays into executive presence and



Melinda Lee:

communicating with executive presence, because there's a



Melinda Lee:

degree of forcefulness that has been traditionally been marked



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or identified or treated to executive presence that I think,



Melinda Lee:

really thankfully, as I'm seeing more, you know, millennials more



Melinda Lee:

Gen Z, or people, younger people enter the workforce, that's no



Melinda Lee:

longer really acceptable. So I'm actually very excited for that



Melinda Lee:

time when I won't have to force myself into the conversation.



Melinda Lee:

Yeah. Oh,



Melinda Lee:

my gosh, thank you so much for sharing that. That



Melinda Lee:

really means a lot. I mean, I think that it's very inspiring,



Melinda Lee:

because when I met you, but we were at the same conference, we



Melinda Lee:

kept you know, we hit it off, had a great conversation, it was



Melinda Lee:

a great conference, and I was one of the speakers. And then



Melinda Lee:

Michelle and I met, we got a chance to talk and you just



Melinda Lee:

exude so much confidence, you have you, you're a leader in



Melinda Lee:

your industry. And then so to hear this backstory, it just,



Melinda Lee:

it's so inspirational, because we all have this, so it does, it



Melinda Lee:

helps us not feel alone. Because we have all been there where



Melinda Lee:

we're trying so hard, we're doing everything that we can



Melinda Lee:

know, you know, to be the expert in the industry, and then to be



Melinda Lee:

put on the spot to be able to, to where people are addressing



Melinda Lee:

or asking you questions to make you seem like you don't know



Melinda Lee:

things, it's so it can be very tough, and to not be spoken



Melinda Lee:

over. And so thank you so much to share that so that we



Melinda Lee:

everybody can all have a connection that way. And so can



Melinda Lee:

you share what what like any tips, any advice? What are some



Melinda Lee:

of the techniques that you learned along the way?



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: So I would really figure out, what is it



Melinda Lee:

that stopping you from being confident? Or I guess that is it



Melinda Lee:

because you just don't know enough? And that could be valid,



Melinda Lee:

right? Like there are times when you just don't know enough to



Melinda Lee:

study up, you need to learn, you need to research you need to



Melinda Lee:

interview people. So for me, I've always like the



Melinda Lee:

stereotypical, I've always been an excellent student, I learned



Melinda Lee:

really well in classroom settings. I'm an auditory



Melinda Lee:

learner. And so, you know, and obviously, like, application is



Melinda Lee:

important too. But I've been very blessed to have a learning



Melinda Lee:

style that allows me to learn not necessarily by doing so



Melinda Lee:

finding out your own learning style and figuring out like, is



Melinda Lee:

it because I don't know enough? Is it because I'm not



Melinda Lee:

comfortable with the material? So whatever it is that you're



Melinda Lee:

not feeling confident in pinpoint? Why is it like



Melinda Lee:

question yourself, stop yourself. And I'm really proud



Melinda Lee:

of myself because I would say that for most of my life, I had



Melinda Lee:

a lot of negative self talk. And it was really unwarranted. Like



Melinda Lee:

I said, I was like, top of my class, I went to UC Berkeley,



Melinda Lee:

very successful, outwardly successful person, you know, had



Melinda Lee:

multiple jobs at like companies like Seagate, LinkedIn, but I



Melinda Lee:

just never had that confidence in myself. I sat back and I



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asked like, what the heck why?



Melinda Lee:

Right. So this is a clear discernment, right? Is it



Melinda Lee:

that you don't know enough because sometimes it is the lack



Melinda Lee:

of knowledge. But then there's other times where you're



Melinda Lee:

studying and studying and then you just have to stop that.



Melinda Lee:

There's just so much more that you can continue to study and



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then at They're knowing and having that discernment of I



Melinda Lee:

know enough for today, and then deciding whether okay, even now



Melinda Lee:

that I know enough, is it still that I have the lack of



Melinda Lee:

confidence? Yeah. And I think what



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: I really learned is, I'm very confident in my



Melinda Lee:

ability to learn and figure it out and get, right. So find out



Melinda Lee:

what your strengths are, find out what will help you shine



Melinda Lee:

best. What do you enjoy? I think, you know, there's this



Melinda Lee:

preconception or idea that, you know, maybe it's society, maybe



Melinda Lee:

it's media, it's like, we have to be all, we all have to be so



Melinda Lee:

well rounded, we have to be good at everything. No, it's fine to



Melinda Lee:

like what you like, and it's fine to do more of what you're



Melinda Lee:

good at, because that will help build your confidence. And I



Melinda Lee:

really challenged myself to go out of my comfort zone, and try



Melinda Lee:

different things like how the heck am I supposed to create a



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podcast? Like, you know, this, it really came out of me taking



Melinda Lee:

a class because my my friend was starting one. And I was like,



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why? No, I've spent a lot of time in the in the fall like



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working really hard at work. And I just decided I want to



Melinda Lee:

dedicate two hours a week for just a few weeks on how to learn



Melinda Lee:

this new thing. And that's, that's what started that



Melinda Lee:

podcast. And like, I just didn't know, and you don't know things



Melinda Lee:

from at least like I said, for myself, I don't have as much



Melinda Lee:

confidence. But once I learned, like, Oh, this is this is all



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you need to do. I can do it. And you just try it and you put



Melinda Lee:

yourself out there. And you know, just in the case of my



Melinda Lee:

podcast, it's really opened a lot of doors for me. And it's



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really more than that I get messages from strangers, saying,



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oh my gosh, thanks for doing this. This has inspired me or



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like, you know, this was really helpful. So that's really all I



Melinda Lee:

want to do. I you know, I am very lucky to have found a



Melinda Lee:

career and a space that I'm thriving in. And so what can I



Melinda Lee:

do to give back and help others feel that same sense of



Melinda Lee:

achievement and success? Because it's available to all of us if



Melinda Lee:

we can access it? Yeah,



Melinda Lee:

yeah. Yeah. So like, you're stretching



Melinda Lee:

yourself, putting yourself out there. When you're doing



Melinda Lee:

something fresh, new, you have knowledge you do the studying.



Melinda Lee:

But once you have that, than just continuing to do yourself,



Melinda Lee:

the favour of stretching yourself taking the risk, yes,



Melinda Lee:

it's gonna be uncomfortable, like your podcasts in the



Melinda Lee:

beginning, it's a little uncomfortable, what am I doing?



Melinda Lee:

And then eventually you get there, and then the confidence



Melinda Lee:

builds, and then you're like, oh, okay, I figured that's how



Melinda Lee:

you do it. It's not too bad. It's very uncomfortable in the



Melinda Lee:

beginning with anything that we're learning anything new. And



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: there's, I think, I just cannot remember



Melinda Lee:

her name. But she's actually the the, there's a woman, I think



Melinda Lee:

she's maybe the founder of Girls Who Code, I can't recall. But



Melinda Lee:

just, I think for women, we as children, specifically, at least



Melinda Lee:

the United States, we're kind of conditioned right to just be



Melinda Lee:

perfect to, like, get good grades to be polite. And



Melinda Lee:

sometimes boys are more encouraged to try and, you know,



Melinda Lee:

be encouraged to try you know, and so I think that's part of



Melinda Lee:

how I was conditioned, not necessarily through any fault of



Melinda Lee:

my mom, or my dad or anything, it's just like the way society



Melinda Lee:

is. And so for myself, like I said, I've been successful. In



Melinda Lee:

my academic career, I've been successful in a lot of ways. But



Melinda Lee:

many times I just always had this fear of failure. And you



Melinda Lee:

know, what, one day I just decided, like, I need to just



Melinda Lee:

try to fail more, if that makes sense, because I don't if I'm



Melinda Lee:

not failing, am I really growing? So, you know, just keep



Melinda Lee:

you got to keep at it. You got to keep trying new things. And,



Melinda Lee:

you know, it's a balance of trying to do the things that I



Melinda Lee:

love that I like that I'm good at, and but also pushing myself



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to do things that I haven't ever done before. or learning about



Melinda Lee:

things that I don't know about. And just approaching things with



Melinda Lee:

curiosity rather than worry or fear is something I continue to



Melinda Lee:

challenge myself to do every day.



Melinda Lee:

Mm hmm. Oh, I love that. Very inspirational. And a



Melinda Lee:

good reminder, a good, good reason to step out and look at



Melinda Lee:

not be so afraid of failure. And want to revisit back the the



Melinda Lee:

conversation you were just mentioning when people talk over



Melinda Lee:

you or there had been meetings or people would talk over you



Melinda Lee:

any tips on what would you do in that situation?



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: I'm going to cite a person that I learned a



Melinda Lee:

lot from in terms of executive communication. I used to work



Melinda Lee:

with Jamie buss who was the SVP of sales North America sales



Melinda Lee:

Zendesk when I started and she has since moved on. She has a



Melinda Lee:

CRO now, which is amazing. But I learned from Jamie, that pre



Melinda Lee:

socialisation is really key. So if you and as an addition, I was



Melinda Lee:

a programme manager. So you know, running meetings and



Melinda Lee:

figuring out like power dynamics in the meeting is very important



Melinda Lee:

and you need to be aware of those things. But if you can set



Melinda Lee:

yourself up for success in a meeting, so that you've already



Melinda Lee:

pre socialised with the potential naysayers, you know,



Melinda Lee:

there are certain people you know them who are going to speak



Melinda Lee:

up or disagree or be, you know, have grumblings So figuring out



Melinda Lee:

how can you neutralise that almost not threat, but like



Melinda Lee:

situation in advance, and be helpful? If you can find your



Melinda Lee:

allies, like, you know, certain people agree with you, your



Melinda Lee:

manager is going to be on the call with you? How can you work



Melinda Lee:

together to reinforce the message? You know, figuring that



Melinda Lee:

out? I think that's a really good practice to try and do I



Melinda Lee:

know, we're all so busy that it seems like how do I find the



Melinda Lee:

time to meet with this individual person before the



Melinda Lee:

group meeting? But when you're in a group meeting, airtime is



Melinda Lee:

very valuable? And if you haven't sorted out in advance,



Melinda Lee:

like what is the purpose of the meeting? What is our goal? What



Melinda Lee:

is the expectation of the people in the meeting? Are they there



Melinda Lee:

to contribute ideas? Are they are we there to make a decision?



Melinda Lee:

Are we there to be informed? I think making a very clear



Melinda Lee:

purpose for the meeting, if it's yours is really important. So



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those are just some some tips. I would say if you are the meeting



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attendee and it's not your meeting. I think it's hard, it's



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the best you can do is really like if I employed this a few



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times, even just today, you know, if so many people are in



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the meeting, and no one's giving you a chance to talk. I put it



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in as the Zoom chat. Mm hmm. Hopefully, you know, usually



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there will be someone who's like keeping an eye on it. And



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hopefully the most senior person in the room or the meeting owner



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or someone will look at that and acknowledge that. And so that's



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like one way to kind of make your voice heard. And I think as



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a leader, as leaders, yes, we need to set that example, too.



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Because if I'm going on and on and on as a leader, the most



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senior person on the call, and I don't check the chat, or I don't



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notice people's like facial expressions, and I just go on



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and on. Like, you're just what's, what's the whole point?



Melinda Lee:

That's not executive communication? It's like doing a



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monologue. Yes. I don't know if that's like one tactical helpful



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tip. I think just getting mentorship, I mean, it's all



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just experience, like I'm a really huge proponent of



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mentorship, a part of a free community called Women in



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revenue. And we have, they have a mentorship programme that's



Melinda Lee:

free. But just talking to people who are good at that, like not



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being talked to her is another tactic, getting some mentorship,



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like if you notice, like you're in a room, Zoom Room with 10



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people. And you know, someone gets talked over and you notice



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that they handle it gracefully. talk to that person, ask them



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for Hey, can I buy you a coffee? And can I chat with you about



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how you dealt with that situation? Because, man, I would



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really love to be able to do that myself. I think that's



Melinda Lee:

another kind of tactical tip that you can employ as well



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finding a mentor someone in your organisation and your company in



Melinda Lee:

your team that handles those situations. Well,



Melinda Lee:

right. I think actually, your tips are so



Melinda Lee:

powerful, too. I mean, I think that there are key and anyone



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who's listening who's struggling with this, just staying in touch



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with what Michelle just said and committed to it. I think we'll



Melinda Lee:

go it just meeting with the people the pre networking, the



Melinda Lee:

pre socialisation before any with the naysayers, and then



Melinda Lee:

also find your allies. Those are huge. And then again, if you're



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still not feeling heard, you can use the chat and then reach out



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to a mentor.



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: Yeah, and if it's happening to repeatedly



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Yeah, you know, it could also be just an indication of the



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culture. Right, the culture of the company. Like I'm very



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grateful because Zendesk has a great culture. But yeah, there



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are times you know, to be frank and when that does happen. But



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yeah, really being conscious of like, what environment are you



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in? On a day to day basis? And are you okay with this? Yes.



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And, you know, are people aware, their self awareness is such a



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big part of being a leader and executive presence. They can't



Melinda Lee:

self diagnose, like, oh, shoot, I made that person feel really



Melinda Lee:

small by saying things this way. Like that's, that's something



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that, you know, is really important to be cognizant of.



Melinda Lee:

And You know, what does executive presence mean to me?



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Well, I'm still figuring out but one thing that I want to point



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our listeners to is a Harvard Business Review article called



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The New Rules of executive presence, where they did a



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comparison, it was a study, I think they must have done



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surveys back in 2012. And they did the same kind of survey 10



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years later in 2022. And back, then, you know, I think they



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kind of have a couple of categories, grab a toss,



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communication, and appearance. And things have shifted, like,



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in a good way, you know, 1010 years ago, like, I think



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confidence and decisiveness are still very important parts of



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gravitas, but 10 years ago, pedigree like where you came out



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of school, like that was really important part of your gravitas.



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And now, I'm so excited that this is part of, you know, how



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things are moving. inclusiveness and respect for others are



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actually have replaced Marvel three. And that's important, I



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think, you know, in addition to gravitas, your communication,



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then it was, you know, like I said, being forceful or joking



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or bantering, you know, jokes and banter. And those have gone



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out of trend. And now it's more presence on Zoom. Like, how can



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you communicate well on Zoom effectively with Zoom? Yeah. And



Melinda Lee:

how do you are you listening to learn? Or are you just like I



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said, it's like, is it forceful? Or are you there to receive and



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actually listen and give your opinion and thoughts on the



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matter in a way that is reflective of actual active



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listening, right. And then, in addition to grab a toss and



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communication, appearance, so like, I just thought it was so



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fascinating, because 10 years ago, people ranked physical



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attractiveness, tallness, slimness as high factors for



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contributing to like, this is what executive presence looks



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like. And I was so happy to see like, 10 years later, that's



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those are not on the list at all. It's actually more



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authenticity. And surprisingly, not just your ability to show up



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in person. But your online presence, like your social media



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presence is also another indicator of executive presence.



Melinda Lee:

And so I all credit, finding this article through Peter on



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who is a tech sales coach. And yeah, after he shared that



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article, I just was like, wow, this is such a positive thing,



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right? To show that it's evolved so much, even just in 10 years.



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So, you know, that's, that's kind of what you know, I'm



Melinda Lee:

figuring it out. But I'm really glad to see out in the world



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that things are moving in a direction where it's less what



Melinda Lee:

is the right word for this less old traditional old school?



Melinda Lee:

Yeah.



Melinda Lee:

Cold knowledge. Like yes, you it's great to have



Melinda Lee:

the pedigree and the expertise but I think it just without just



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with that component alone is not sufficient. Absolutely. No.



Melinda Lee:

Yeah. And I love the authenticity part is in there,



Melinda Lee:

that's awesome.



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Michelle J Kim: I would say it's kind of a tough spot to be a



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millennial, because you kind of still like the people who are my



Melinda Lee:

managers and VPs are still there older than me generally. And



Melinda Lee:

they might still have the older perception of executive



Melinda Lee:

presence, right executive communication, they might still



Melinda Lee:

have that there are definitely a lot of great amazing leaders



Melinda Lee:

I've worked with who are actually trending more toward



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like this new this new definition of executive



Melinda Lee:

presence. But it's it's a balance of like, okay, how



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authentic can I really be with this person? You know, like,



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because I'm a pretty off like I'm very authentic. It's hard



Melinda Lee:

for me to hide who I am and I'm so grateful to work with the



Melinda Lee:

younger generation of Gen Z alpha who are just like they



Melinda Lee:

love it. They want to be real they want people who are real



Melinda Lee:

with them in a real be real Yeah, it's a line down so



Melinda Lee:

yeah, to answer that I mean, reflecting back on



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your career and we don't have that much more time but I just



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have so many questions for you we could probably do a part two



Melinda Lee:

but just Michelle you're you bit your success and you grow you've



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expanded in your role and adopt a new roles like work could you



Melinda Lee:

credit, your expansion your development, your growth, your



Melinda Lee:

new climbing up the ladder to is competence or executive presence



Melinda Lee:

a part of that?



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: Yeah. So I always say that Competence and



Melinda Lee:

Confidence go hand in hand like they really do like for me, you



Melinda Lee:

cannot, there is no reason you should be confident if you have



Melinda Lee:

no credibility. Right. Right. So and it's a question of like,



Melinda Lee:

well, how much is enough? Michelle? And yeah, it's you



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just always have to have that shoshan That beginner's mindset



Melinda Lee:

always willing to learn and grow? Yeah. So I think for



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myself, even



Melinda Lee:

okay, even as you're beginning to learn and



Melinda Lee:

grow, still having the confidence. Yeah.



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: Which is like, like I said, I've discovered I



Melinda Lee:

really, I am confident in my ability to learn, yes. So



Melinda Lee:

figuring out like, what is it you're good at? And how can you



Melinda Lee:

develop in those areas in like a safer, quote, unquote, safer



Melinda Lee:

way? Yeah. But really, I will say, of outside of the podcasts,



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which I just said, ended my season one of breaking the tech



Melinda Lee:

ceiling, where I interview VP and sea level woman and go to



Melinda Lee:

market tech roles about how to get from director, Senior



Melinda Lee:

Director to VP, from VP to sea level, in revenue roles. And



Melinda Lee:

after talking to not just those women, but they almost probably



Melinda Lee:

100, plus tech executives across many different functions. You



Melinda Lee:

just don't advance your career unless you're intentional about



Melinda Lee:

it. And for me, so I do strategy and operations. So thinking



Melinda Lee:

about my life and my career from a strategy and operations



Melinda Lee:

perspective, what's the end goal for me? And what are the steps



Melinda Lee:

for me to take to get to those points. And sometimes you don't



Melinda Lee:

always need to have like an end goal in mind, maybe it's fine to



Melinda Lee:

stay where you are, maybe you don't need that promotion. And



Melinda Lee:

maybe there are other ways to enrich your life, but only you



Melinda Lee:

can decide what is right for you. So a big part of what I do.



Melinda Lee:

And what I'm passionate about, is professional development and



Melinda Lee:

goal setting. And I literally have some I have a F in front of



Melinda Lee:

me, I have it with me always. It's called the purpose planner,



Melinda Lee:

I have a planner that I live and die by. And what's really helped



Melinda Lee:

me I used to have a lot of negative self talk. And I've



Melinda Lee:

helped quiet that because I write things down. I don't want



Melinda Lee:

to keep things in my brain, we need to save our brain capacity,



Melinda Lee:

like processing capacity for important things not, you know,



Melinda Lee:

I have to remember to pay, do my taxes, I need to remember, like



Melinda Lee:

these are all things that you can schedule. So I'm I'm very



Melinda Lee:

much a proponent of planning out your life and your career. And



Melinda Lee:

this is not for everyone, like really not for everyone. Some



Melinda Lee:

people hate that. My husband and I are very opposite. He doesn't



Melinda Lee:

like to have a plan. He won't even tell me when he's coming



Melinda Lee:

home for dinner. So it's like, someone who's like, I want to



Melinda Lee:

know what meals I'm having the rest of the week. So it's, you



Melinda Lee:

know, just it's different for everyone. But for me, that's



Melinda Lee:

what's worked. Yeah, absolutely. Trying to figure out what can I



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learn. Last year, I had a goal to be a better speaker, public



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speaker. And I took Stanford continuing study classes at



Melinda Lee:

Stanford Continuing Studies class, a woman named Amy Eliza



Melinda Lee:

long, she's amazing. And that was so powerful, and like doing



Melinda Lee:

all these other things. In addition to that, that I won't,



Melinda Lee:

I won't go into too much detail here. But you know, culminating



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to going to your workshop, Melinda, and you had us all do



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an exercise in small groups. And, like, share, like what was



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like a one minute, like something you're passionate



Melinda Lee:

about, do one minute little, you know, chat on what you're



Melinda Lee:

passionate about to your small group. And everyone gives



Melinda Lee:

feedback. And I was just so proud of myself in that moment,



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because I nailed it. I killed it without any sort of preparation.



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And so, you know, that just really made me happy to be in a



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spot in my life in a skill area that I concentrated on improving



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and seeing it pay out in that way. So yeah, so I really I



Melinda Lee:

really believe in that the power, right of intentionality



Melinda Lee:

of planning, like I said, all of those executives that I've



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worked with, when I asked, How did you go from it? Was it an



Melinda Lee:

accident? No, it was never an accident. There's a lot of



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things that need to go right, in order to go from a director,



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Senior Director to a VP from a VP to sea level. And you know,



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there's different things required at different levels.



Melinda Lee:

And it's not just going to happen to you can't just sit and



Melinda Lee:

wait around and pray that you're going to get that promotion.



Melinda Lee:

I agree. I agree. I love that. Yeah, I have the



Melinda Lee:

intentionality. What are the things that I need to do? How



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can I stretch myself? How can I fail fast and learn Quickly get



Melinda Lee:

feedback, get a mentor, and move up and not be afraid of those



Melinda Lee:

things. And then you'll watch yourself just when you focus on



Melinda Lee:

something like you like, focus on the speaking. And as soon as



Melinda Lee:

you focus yourself, of course, you're gonna make mistakes along



Melinda Lee:

the way. But then once you do that, then you can expand and



Melinda Lee:

then you you look back and you say, oh, my gosh, I did it. And



Melinda Lee:

now, now we can move on to something else. Yeah,



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Michelle J Kim: and I want to say one, one thing, I, I really



Melinda Lee:

am a proponent of mentorship. But as I mentioned, at the



Melinda Lee:

beginning of this conversation, like I don't go to my mentor



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anymore for every single thing, because it's not sustainable. I



Melinda Lee:

highly recommend people who are serious about career



Melinda Lee:

progression, find yourself a career coach, find yourself an



Melinda Lee:

executive coach, and have that person, be your or even find a



Melinda Lee:

group coaching, right? Worst case go to a better is a better



Melinda Lee:

a better prop. No better up as a teaching a coach, you got it.



Melinda Lee:

Got it. That's the worst case study, you can find coaches. But



Melinda Lee:

if you're serious about career growth and career progression, I



Melinda Lee:

really recommend finding a coach that will hold you help you hold



Melinda Lee:

yourself accountable, yes, to do everything for you. But like,



Melinda Lee:

you know, just for me, that was another big shift in my career



Melinda Lee:

journey. When I was sponsored for a career career coaching



Melinda Lee:

programme at Zendesk, it was very lucky for that. Thankful,



Melinda Lee:

and I'm thankful for it. Because dedicating it was a 30 minute



Melinda Lee:

call every two weeks. And I always prepared 10 minutes



Melinda Lee:

before like, it wasn't even like, you know, a long time it



Melinda Lee:

wasn't an advanced was just literally 10 minutes before that



Melinda Lee:

call, I sat down and I wrote down, what is it that's going on



Melinda Lee:

in my career in my role in my life that I want to talk to



Melinda Lee:

about this coach. And that really helped accelerate things



Melinda Lee:

for me. You know, it's not, I always talk about mentorship.



Melinda Lee:

But it's not enough. Like if you really want to invest in



Melinda Lee:

yourself, it'll pay off into this now. Yeah, first that



Melinda Lee:

I totally Yeah, because it gets it out of the



Melinda Lee:

head, you have so many bounced, you know, somebody you trust



Melinda Lee:

that you can bounce ideas off of, and just support you along



Melinda Lee:

your journey along the obstacles and kind of overcoming them. And



Melinda Lee:

so, I love that. Thank you so much, Michelle, I had so much



Melinda Lee:

fun with you. Thank you, lots of great insight. I learned a lot.



Melinda Lee:

I trust that the listeners got some really good golden



Melinda Lee:

takeaways. And so really appreciate your time, Michelle,



Melinda Lee:

your leadership, your expertise and helping us grow. Think about



Melinda Lee:

executive communication and how to break that glass ceiling,



Melinda Lee:

whether in the tech industry or whether in any industry, I think



Melinda Lee:

that you've got some good nuggets from Michelle today. So



Melinda Lee:

thank you,



Melinda Lee:

Michelle J Kim: thank you so much for having me. Yeah, I



Melinda Lee:

really, really thoughtful. And I really hope people become



Melinda Lee:

intentional about how they want to spend their time on this



Melinda Lee:

earth. And it doesn't have to be your career. Just Just know that



Melinda Lee:

just figure out what it is that's right for you in this



Melinda Lee:

time. To change you can change your mind. But you know, don't



Melinda Lee:

stress out so much. This is kind of like the parting advice that



Melinda Lee:

I would give



Melinda Lee:

to what are the memories that you want to have



Melinda Lee:

hold for yourself? Yeah, to take away. Oh, thank you so much. And



Melinda Lee:

thank you, dear listeners for joining me until the next time I



Melinda Lee:

see you Take care. Bye bye