Mastering Speaking in Flow with Melinda Lee

Welcome to a Speak In Flow Podcast episode, I am

thrilled you're here, because this topic is near and dear to

my heart, mastering and being successful at flow. Now what is

flow anyways, flow is when your potential is skyrocketing,

because you're so immersed in the present moment, there's no

inner critic, there's no doubt they're gone. And you're just

focused, you're here in the moment you're doing or whatever

it is that you're doing, whether you're playing an instrument, or

you are an athlete out on the court, throwing a basketball or

whether you're a speaker, you are focused on the moment,

there's nothing blocking you and you're immersed in the

situation, your hand gestures, your body language, your words,

naturally flow out, everything's in flow your movements. And

that's when the opportunities come to you. That's when success

comes to you. And, and abundance prosperity. And, and there's

three phases, there's no way around it, to get into flow. And

that's what I'm going to talk about today. And the three

phases are awkward, release, and then flow. Awkward is that the

struggle, it's, it's that moment, when we don't know what

we're doing, we're so overwhelmed, everything is new,

brand new, then you move into release releases, when you may

know the steps, you may know the process of whatever it is that

you're doing. But you're still thinking about it, you're still

wondering whether you can do it or not. And then finally, flow,

you're in the mastery, you're in success, you know, you got this

and it's just natural to you. So we want to speed up your process

to get from awkward to flow. By understanding these three

phases. I'm gonna break down each, the first one is awkward.

It's that struggle, it's that place that we don't like to be

in and we want to get out of there as soon as possible. It's

when you're starting something new. Everything is overwhelming.

I remember when I first started in my job, and when I was 1716

years old, I was working at a prime rib restaurant. And in

this restaurant, there was a lot going on, right? You have to

talk to the people at the table, then you have to take their

order. And then you have to go back to the ticket and give it

the salad ready and get the mashed potatoes. And it was so

overwhelming. To me. It was a struggle. I didn't like to talk

to the people at first. And then I didn't know where to go. I

didn't know where to put the ticket. I didn't know where to

get the salad. So it was just a lot. It was awkward. I was

uncomfortable. Right? Have you ever felt that when you have

just started something new, and you can start to feel

embarrassed because if you don't know what you're doing, people

are seeing you and then you start to feel some shame. Gosh,

so it's the same way. Same thing can happen when we're speaking,

when we are delivering a presentation. We are feeling

overwhelmed, because we're not certain about our what's going

to happen. We're not certain about our performance. Now we're

not certain about what's going to if we're going to say all the

right bullet points. And so there's just too much, right. So

how can we speed through this awkward face to go into the next

phase, which is relief. You're not in flow yet, but you're in

release. So in release, you may know what the process is. So for

example, in my restaurant example, after about a month, I

started to then know where to how to greet the customers, you

know, I was starting to get more comfortable greeting them. I

knew where to put the ticket to put in the order. I knew how to

get the salad. But I may in your mind, forget something. I may

think okay, did I do this right? And I'm so I'm thinking about

what I am doing. So it's still mechanical. It's not very

natural. You might look at someone. Have you ever seen

someone who is on the dance floor, they're they're doing the

right moves, but they're mechanical, they're not really

going to the beat so they know the moves, but it doesn't look

natural. As a speaker, you may know what you're going to say.

But it doesn't seem natural. You may have your talking points.

And you may have even memorised your script. But it does not

seem natural. You seem like a robot. And that is the release

phase. So you're starting to get to the place where you're not

completely overwhelmed and debilitated. But at the same

time, you're starting to release some of the fear some of the

doubt and starting to move into more mechanical I know the steps

I know the process but still overthinking it still not

completely certain whether I can do it or not. And the key to

getting out of this phase from really If releasing doubt, and

releasing being mechanical into flow is, is repetition, and

consistency, keeping yourself doing what you're meant to do.

And I'm going to share with you something, it is not when it

comes to speaking not about repeating your script, you're

gonna start to get to a point where you are in flow with your

words. When I was at the restaurant, I started to just

know where to go what to do with the customers, I just, I started

to see where to put the ticket and see everything, I started to

see how I interacted with the other waiters, and how I

interacted with all the different tables that I was

supporting, and how to multitask. Right. So I was

seeing a bigger picture how to solve problems in the moment,

even if things were ambiguous. And so that is what flow is

because you're not focused. And you're releasing the mechanical,

the process the steps, you are able to move into flow, and do

some problem solving when things are chaotic, and things are

uncertain. And so when you are in the release phase, and still

going through the mechanics of your talk, right? Thinking about

what am I going to say, it's going to be difficult for you to

move into flow. And that's what most people are stuck in. That's

where most people, they get into the habit of writing out their

entire script and memorising it word for word. And then, and

then they then they think that okay, I'm gonna memorise it word

for word, then I'll finally get into flow. The truth of the

matter is, if you have this as a habit, you're really not in

flow, because I want you to start trusting your words. That

is true flow. When you can move into the place of mastering,

I've got this, I know, even if I don't have all my script, or if

I don't know all the words, I know my bullet points and I can

run and go with it, I can be the moment solve problems, step into

the ambiguity, step into the uncomfortable in this and

embrace, not knowing, and continually continuing to do

that over and over again. And most of us, don't give us the

opportunity and the Yeah, the experience of trusting

ourselves. And so we are stuck in the mechanical the release,

still releasing trying to release the script, but we will

never let go of it. Or many of my clients are like, I'm so

afraid if I don't have my script, I want to blank out I

don't know what to say. And I created so many beautiful words

in my PowerPoint, and they're not going to come out. So when

you are holding on to in this phase, and not finally stepping

into flow, which does mean to step into to embracing the

unknown, having your bullets, embracing the uncertainty,

trusting that your words will flow out. And of course, in the

beginning, it will be uncomfortable. Of course, in the

beginning, you may stumble on your words, but eventually

you're going to get to the point where I've got this, I know my

words, I know the content, I'm the expert, and stepping into

that place of the unknown and still trusting that you can

problem solve at the same time. That is when you've mastered

flow. That is when you are in the moment focused on your

audience. Focus on connecting with the audience, inspiring

them moving your initiatives, because you can sense what they

want what you need. And then you problem solve, and you

collaborate and you communicate in a way that inspires people

and is aspirational. So those are the three steps to moving

into flow. Yes, of course, it's going to be awkward, awkward

that you have to let go of the script, awkward that you have to

just trust your bullet. And it's going to seem a little bit

mechanical, you're going to have to release some of the doubt

that you can't do this. But as you continue to repeat and get

some feedback, you're going to start to get to the place of

flow. And being able to speak on the cusp without your script.

Trusting that you can embrace uncertainty problem solve,

because you're so focused in the moment you're so focused on your

clients, your audience, and the connection that you have with

them.

And I hope that you take this process and embrace it and use

it for your next opportunity whether it's speaking or even

just mastering a new skill, something that you've embraced

whether it's learning how to ride a horse, whether it's

learning how to cook, those are the three steps to moving from

awkward Released and into flow and success until I see you

again I'm your sister in flow love you take care