America’s High School Coaches with Martin Davis

Welcome to the Shining Brightly show. I'm Howard Brown author, speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, international peacemaker, and yes to time stage for cancer patients, survivor and advocate. Each episode will take you from resilience to hope, and a whole lot more. Because shining brightly does make the world a better place. Be prepared to be inspired.

Welcome to the Shining Brightly podcast. I'm your host, Howard Brown. Today, we will shine a spotlight on my friend, coach and now published author Martin Davis. Welcome, I hope all as well and safe Marty, how you doing?

I'm doing well, Howard. Thank you, I appreciate that opportunity to come on your show and talk a little bit about the book. Hopefully a little bit about your new book too.

We can mention that a little bit as well. But I'm very excited to get my copy of 30 days with America's high school coaches. It really I know it's a labor of love, but share it share with me the inspiration How did this all come about? And why did you take a whole part of your life and, and publish a book on coaching.

So there's, I can look at multiple points for inspiration. I'm a professional writer. That's what I do for a living. I've been a professional journalist for 20 years now in the Washington DC area. And I've written about everything from terrorism, to education to automobiles, everything in between. Sports has always been an important part of my life, though. And actually, I was working for us news when COVID hit I got laid off. And so suddenly, why didn't get laid off. At first I was I was furloughed first for three months. I've been wanting to write a book and I thought well, I got three months nothing to do. So let's let's get after it. The idea for the book itself has its genesis in three major places. First of all, it has its genesis in my family. I have three children, two of whom absolutely despise sports, and will have nothing to do with it. And then my middle child also was and still is an exceptionally gifted athlete. Today he he's in the Marine Corps, he's Olympic weightlifter. He's He's a fitness trainer in the Marine Corps, martial artists, you name it, the mouse sweating and running and lifting. He's, you know, he's there. In high school, he was a football player. And a very good one. He earned several scholarship offers to play at the collegiate level. Obviously trying those founders during the core, but Austin really struggled in high school. He didn't do well academically, he didn't like school, he had some some challenges, some, some challenges around to civility, to learn that complicated matters. And my wife and I really worried that we wouldn't even get him through high school. We were you know, there was a time where we're thinking well, but he's just going to the GED stage, it will be a success. His coaches would not let him fail. And you know, you have a teenage daughter, you you know how it goes. As they get closer and closer and closer to the 18th year, they get a little more combative, and they, you know, they don't want to listen to you. And you're you know, you don't know anything and they know it all. And you know, the last two years he was in our house, we you know, we definitely have pressure balance. And when I couldn't talk to him when I couldn't relate to him, which was pretty often the last two years. His coaches absolutely could. And his coaches are the reason he got through high school. His coaches are the reason he didn't drop out. And he will tell you today if it weren't for playing football, he would have dropped out. And his coaches really were there for him every step of the way. And when he decided a week after signing day that he wasn't going to college, you know, it was just coach he went to and and it was this coaches, you need to you need to man up and tell your parents how you feel. And you know, he did and it didn't go down real well with me at first. And so I've gotten apologist coats, he was a former Marine and he and I had a long discussion over coffee one night, who made me feel better about his decision. So it was it was as a parent. It was a great insight into the many different ways that coaches had a profound impact in our life. I also considered right professional So I've written about athletics and sports at a national level and a local level for a while. And I've seen coaches from that perspective perspective as journalists. I think probably the most important thing, though, was just after Austin left for basic training. I had this huge void in my life, right? We had lived and breathed sports with this kid for, you know, from age five to 18. I mean, our life revolved around sports with this kid. And so anyone who's been to Marine Corps basic training, knows the kid goes away, and you don't hear hide or hear from them for 13 weeks, you're completely shut off from them. And so you're in the sort of position where it's like, well, you know, he was part of my life everyday for 13 weeks, all of a sudden, gone. And it created a real vacuum created a real void. And it just so happened about this time, the school he played that fired their head coach, and they brought a new coach. Yep. And so on a lark, I wrote up and I said, Look, my name, my name is Martin, you know, my son played here. I don't know a lot about exes events. I'm not a, you know, I can't diagram plays. I can't, you know, I can't tell you the difference between, you know, between duo and power. I, you know, I'm not that sophisticated. I do know a lot about how to teach the kicking game, though. And I can develop players and I would like to, you know, be part of your staff and sort of help out. And then I also say that, by the way, I'm a writer, there are things I can do to help with fundraising, fully expecting it this email back that said, Yeah, I don't need you on the field. But we'd love to have you fundraise. Right? Right. It's possible, he wrote me back and said, Well, you know, we have always one of the kicking coats, I've never had one. They're very rare at the high school level. You know, I'd love to bring your board. And so for the last four years now, I've been a high school football coach. I'm a lot smarter about the X's and O's, I can actually diagram things down and I can get into an intelligent conversation about strategy and not look too stupid. I don't have to ask what a six you know what a three i or two gap is a moron. I know what those things are. But I still focus mainly on the kicking game. And through that experience, I really got a taste of what high school coaches go through. And I realize that most people really have absolutely no earthly idea what is involved in being a high school football coach. Yes, it's a lot of meeting time game planning, practice time. I mean, that's, that's time consuming. It's a real part of what coaches do. The vast majority of what these people do, happens at night after they get home. It's when the phone rings at midnight, the kids have trouble. It's kids who are going through a hard time with their families who need help in school. In addition, not what I call Blue Moon episodes. This This has happened every single day. These coaches get calls every single day, whether it's something bad or something that's good or you know the coach is leaning on them or they need help.

They're there it's amazing mighty so you know COVID Your son inspired you and that you're a writer and also you you became a special teens kicking coach yourself these last four years and are learning learned on the job and now can diagram plays and all can you know, kind of came out to 30 days and so I thank you for mentioning my daughter Emily because I did the same thing travel soccer at the at a national level for from eight to 18. And the hardest conversation she thought was Dad, I'm retiring. I'm burnt out I'm not going to continue and I'm not going to play in soccer, which was the whole goal for 10 years. It was to be a five foot four goalie in and play collegiate soccer at Division 123 But it didn't happen. And she's moving on with her life. And I I was all in and supporting her but I was all in on supporting her to retire at age 18 as well. So tell me this, Marty, this must have been fascinating. You're getting pearls of wisdom from 30 different coaches, girls sports and, and other sports and what were some of the, you know, did a little tease for the book. What were some of the cool, cool lessons that some of these coaches shared with you that are most memorable?

Yeah, there were a lot of the shorter answers go read the book, and you'll get a lot of so I'm going to answer that in two parts. First of all, you know, there is there is a string that connects all these coaches. They all sort of share three traits that I came to appreciate. One is every person in this book is incredibly imaginative They inherit all Kami, Sony's coaches are in elite private schools with all the money in the world, some of these coaches are in poverty, crime ridden areas with no resources whatsoever. And everything in between. They cut across the socio economic, geographic regions of the country. And every one of them just brings these incredible imaginations to bear to make the situations where these people are also incredibly selfless. And I've just touched on that the time they spent away from their families, their own kids, and their utter commitment to the players that they're coaching. And each of these coaches is incredibly centered something anchors these coaches, they know who they are, they're not trying to be more than they are, they're not any less than they are that they just did, they know who they are. And that guides when the storms blow, and when you coach high school sports, so the storms are gonna blow because everyone's an expert, and everyone thinks they can do your job better than you. So the first sign of trouble you lose a game or a play goes bad, you know, everyone's on your back. These coaches know who they are. And they can navigate some through really difficult times. So you know, those are some traits that united them. But the fascinating thing Howard was, every coach's story was different. When I started this process, I thought, my fear was, well, I'm going to hear 30 different coaches tell me the same thing. 30 different ways. And it just didn't happen that way. As a matter of fact, I actually talked to 130 coaches for the book. And almost to a person, the conversation started the same whether it is myself, I get to know him a little bit, we set up a time to talk, we get on the phone or get on Zoom or have a we connected? And they would say the person that would say something along the lines of Well, like I don't, there's nothing special about me, why do you want to talk about me? And I don't I'm not comfortable talking about myself. And I was simple. Okay, that's fine. Let's, why don't we start by you telling me how you got to where you are. And very often, I didn't have to say that a word for a half hour.

i People like to tell you this story and the journey.

And in telling those stories, all these different things began to come out. And I began to realize about four or five and no two stories were the same.

That's really cool, because I checked in with you during some of the early writing phases here. And one of the most things that I was most impressed with Marty was that we talked about a priest, a doctor, right? A lawyer people and Esquire people with titles and teacher and coach now have been put on a pedestal via your book, the amount of time they spent with these kids in formative years in development and is truly amazing. And I really appreciate that part of the book that and when you told me that I was I was just so eager to see how it would come out and see that. In full disclosure, Martin and I share the same publishing house front edge publishing, we share the same editor David kromm, who is a dear friend who connected us about seven years ago. So I want to disclose that I want to I want to take take it because you invited me and you asked and I suggested my coach who made the cut everyone 30 filmer AZ from framing himself High School, which doesn't exist anymore, it's called Framingham High. And, you know, you took me back to 1984. And I'm going to show a screen share just for a quick second, we're going to talk about it. Because when we you interviewed coach merese and it was very shocking to actually what came out of that chapter and you allowed me to do a response. So I'm, I'm forever grateful that I'm gonna bring up a little pictures here for a second that we can share and look at. And so this right here is from 1984. That is me shooting in the middle of a game, I think, Wellesley High School and a couple towns over and there's coach Varese a few years before that on the bench. And it brought back a lot of memories for me because as the only giveaway the as the punchline for the chapter, but I didn't start until my senior year was real hard for smokers to swallow because I lived and breathed basketball. And I had the MVP of the league and the team captain as a point guard and so a lot of lessons in being able to wait your turn and things like that. So can you just share just a tidbit about the chapter about film are easy the man they call smoky?

Yeah, so the thing I loved about about smokey that jumped out right away was while every coach values the best players, smokey really dug into what it means to be a bench player. He valued those players and understood their role and gave those players a sense of value. That was life altering. And in your case, I'm not going to spill all the beans, but it truly was life altering in your case. But in the in the lives of every other player he ever coached, and the patient and the lessons have patience, and learning to take direction, and dealing with failure, and dealing with the fact that there's someone better than you ahead of you. And that's okay, that your job is to make them better. Those are hard. I know, lots of adults, Howard, who had yet to learn those lessons. Sure. And those are incredibly valuable lessons to learn. And because coaches get kids those lessons, that's why would they do longitudinal surveys of people who played varsity sports in high school, they tended to have more successful careers, they tend to do better in school, they tend to volunteer more in their communities, they tend to be more engaged in the civic life in their voting life. Because they carry these lessons with them the rest of their life, that it's, it's not all about you and your success, there's something much more. And when you have to win, you have to face it day in and day out at practice, you have to look at someone who's taking your slot, and you have to realize that I had to get better than them to progress. You know, that's a good lesson to learn. And the sooner you learn it, the better.

Yeah, I mean, except for golf, tennis, archery, you know, fishing, I mean, this is called a team sport, right. And not only five players on a basketball court 11 on a football field, you know, it's, it's a team. And so I think that one of the things I took from the book team chemistry matters. And, you know, Coach had the respect. You know, it's funny, because he was like, 55, straight games, and we talked about the importance of the bench and coming prepared every single day. And, and practice being really important. And, and it's, it was really great discipline, and I am forever grateful for that. And not to not to bury the headline, but with my book shining brightly coming out. I also have a chapter on basketball that features a portion of your book and coach Moravia and the life lessons, I learned from shooting a free throw that I carried on to my battle and, and current victory against colon cancer. So I'm going to sneak a picture in here. There's, there's my coach there, instructing the team and, and getting there and on the field. So, you know, you've took taken on a new vocation. And as I said, raise that unreal, proud to be called a coach. And I know you are too. So I want to transition now, because this is unbelievable. What does it feel like when your book is actually on and available on amazon.com for purchase?

A little bit of relief, that's a long road. Even for someone who writes professionally. It's a long process. And so when you see it finally come out, you know, it feels good. You know, you, it also feels a little vulnerable, right? I mean, you, you live with something for so long. And you never quite know how the world is going to take it, how they're going to react to it. So when you kind of put it out there, you're putting a piece of yourself out there, and you just have no way of knowing how people are going to react. And so that's, that's another lesson to itself. Yeah,

Certainly, you're up for criticism, but you're also up for applause. And all I'm seeing out there the early returns are applause because it's a book that brings back your childhood for many, many that were coaches at one time or even a youth coach or, or for me, that was the team manager watching my daughter and going through zillions of soccer games. It makes sense. And, you know, I think that, you know, boy, a coach has to be so many things. They've got to teach the teacher, they've got to show leadership. They've got to amend the booboo, but they've got to be a psychologist as well. And, you know, not an easy road and it's a life of dedication and things like that as well. So, I'm just so thrilled Marty, that of our friendship that you've taken it to I call it the starting line because once the books out you got to keep going and you got to keep doing these podcasts and promoting the book and and getting it into more hands and it's real valuable. And I'm just want to tell you how proud I am to want to be your friend and to to see you with this major milestone in publishing 30 days with America's high school coaches. It's such an important book that's never been done before. And I want to thank thank you for having me on today and keep shining, keep shining brightly.

Our thanks a lot. I really have enjoyed talking with you today. And it's great to have you as a friend you were you were instrumental in a number of key places. There were several days for our call. Do you have one To quit and you you gave me the strength to go on and so I appreciate that and you were a good coach he kicked me in the penny a couple days and made me pick myself up and keep going. So even even when we're old and fat like me and can't get up and out of court like we used to still be the coach. So

We all do and mentorship is vital and I gave you what you needed that day but you've given back to me so much more and and the world so much more So Marty great success with this book and I'm just I can't wait for more and more people to read it discuss it and learn from it and take the lessons learned and the valuable wisdom you shared. So be well and continue on and keep going coach will do a YouTube