Promise to My Dad with Jonathan Dunn

Dr. Cliff Fisher: To be able to be present with yourself to be able to be present with your team, your family, you know, the people that are in your lives that are important need to know that and I think so often we take it for granted that they do. We're going brother.

So obviously, you know, the staff at Fluid consulting didn't work out the way I hoped. And we went to zero income. And I, you know, I thought maybe, you know, I wouldn't blame Jennifer if she left. So that didn't work out, two businesses shut down. We go to zero income. We moved to Spring Hill, Florida, which I didn't, you know, really want to be there. COVID is happening. I mean, just all this stuff. So then, you know, I tell you, eventually, my dad goes to the doctor, after like a year of delay. And they don't they don't let him they don't even let him leave the doctor's office. This is Widowmaker is so blocked up. They transport him to Florida Hospital, Orlando. They they go for the first surgery and it didn't work because they had never seen that level of calcification. So that's and that's all from, from the vaccine. I mean, it is like there's no doubt about it. So they transport them to a different hospital. And they do this experimental surgery on him, which is it's sad. I mean, it sounds like there's just like a roto rooter in the veins. It's experimental. And I have to ask him what it was called. But it works. He survives, goes home, I drive over to visit him. He's got his laptop set up in his family room, and he's watching church on lock. I'm kind of past church at that point in my own life. But I watch it with him. And I noticed it's very beautiful. It's in Boston. And I never even asked him like how he heard of it. Because it's not like he, you know, went to Boston or, but he somehow heard of this church. That's, that's all I know. And I'm like, It's really beautiful. And the priest was very accepting and loved everyone all inclusive. It was a beautiful service. So I tell my dad that day, dad, someday, I'm gonna go to Boston. And I'm going to go to that church, I'm going to take a picture, and I'm going to send it to you. So fast forward, two and a half, three years through this, the scariest times in my life. Massive uncertainty, just everything. And I'm like, What do you know about me, man, like, keep my eyes on love. keep my eyes on love. keep my eyes on love. Like, that's what you can control. That's it. So then, you know, a month ago, two months ago, whenever I told you, a company from not Boston, but Sudbury, Massachusetts, reaches out to me, wants to do the leadership thing. And as we're diving in just massive, massive family dysfunction. The sister almost died at birth. Eventually, she died like 40 years later has some cancer. Jane, she died of cancer. The owner's brother has the gene, which means he's like, I don't know, you know more about that stuff than me that he's most likely developed to develop cancer. And the chief financial officer of the company is married to the sister of the owner. And they live next door to each other and they haven't even talked in three years, like like that level of dysfunction. So they want to they want to bring me in the owner's wife. Her brother died unexpectedly. I think it was a suicide. I don't don't quote me on that. But it was an unexpected death. She didn't want me there. Didn't want to hear anything. I had to say, the Chief Financial Officer of the company don't bring this guy in. It's a waste of our money. He's not going to tell me anything. I don't know. I'm a I'm going to call in sick that day. I'm not even going. The brother basically saying I'm not going either. And then the dad who is close to 80 He's still involved and he's just presiding kind of over this mess. And he's he's brokenhearted that the family has turned out this way. Good man. So I wake up at three o'clock in the morning on Saturday to get to the airport. I was like a 530 flight. Super rain in that day. and pick me up at the airport, like the owner's assistant. We drive to the business because you know, my dumbass is in the speaking contest that day on top of everything else. And I didn't, I didn't want to miss it. So I said, I'm going to speaking contest that day, and it's in a comedy contest. Did you set me up a computer somewhere so I could participate? And I'm like, and I'm all about, like, Can I squeeze as much out of a day as possible? Absolutely. We go to the business, the owner shows up, they watch me do comedy pretty pretty, you know, interesting comedy, I win the thing. And I'm like, Well, gee, this is a great like icebreaker, like, the owner comes and watches you and speech contest, new comedy, then you're doing, you're doing leadership on Monday. And then I go to dinner with his other guy. And I go back to the hotel. And I'm like, it's probably about six 630 At this point, Cliff, and I'm like, how am I not dead tired at this point. But I wasn't, and it was like, I had like espresso running through my veins. So I unpacked the bag. And I decide I put my gym clothes on and I go to the gym, I do a 5k I work my chest. And I'm just go back up, I take a shower. I'm like, why am I not tired yet? What what's going on, and I'm not panicked about it. I'm not anxious about it. But it's peculiar. And the day the plan is wake up at four o'clock the next day, get in the car, the owner gave me a $60,000 jeep and just says, Hey, drive my jeep to Boston tomorrow, it's fun. And then when you get back, come over to my house, and you can meet my wife, and my cousin Sara, and I'll make homemade pizza, we'll go for a boat ride. So it's like pretty neat. That's awesome. I gotta lay in bed cliff. And the devil came at we in ways that I cannot describe. I don't even know if in my life I'll ever talk about just imagine the most disgusting stuff that can happen to a little kid and wanting that same shit to happen to you as an adult. Because in your mind, the devil is going it's all you fucking deserve is to get raped in your ass. And I'm just laying there in bed. And that image is on loop in my mind, just doo doo doo doo doo. And I'm telling you, the devil has never attacked me like that. And I'm talking like, it's one o'clock in the morning. And he's just full fledged attacking me. And I'm telling you, I was so out of my mind laying in bed. I didn't even know I have phone. I'm not saying like make any sense. But I'm just laying in bed. There's no one to call, just like what I was thinking. Finally, I don't know what happened. But it's not in bed. And I saw I had a phone. And I went over. And I turned it on. And I went to Wayne Dyer.

They were just on Swat. But finally I fell asleep. And I got up at four. And I go to the gym, and I work out. And I get in the car. And I'm driving to Boston and I'm like, How can I make it through that? I mean, the darkest stuff you can comprehend. And I get into Boston. And my damn phone stops working. Like the GPS. It's just like frozen. I'm just driving around. And finally like, I just see this big black wall and I drive up to it. Like just because there's like it's early. And this guy comes out and he starts fucking berating me. What the fuck are you doing here? Like, I go I go, sir. I found it work. I'm just trying to find this church and I'm sorry. And he immediately just comes down and he goes back up. Go to the top of the rent. Take a left there's the church I was right there somehow. Oh yeah. So I didn't know what he meant by the ramp because it's kind of the roads in Boston are weird and there's like tunnels and multiple layers and but anyways, I ended up on this road and I realized I'm not too far away and I can see their street parking and I I park and I turn my phone off. I turn it back on and sure enough on point two miles from the church that I'm supposed to be meet this guy there that came to one of Nathan and I's Friday events a long time ago that we stayed in touch with. And he didn't want me to go to that church. And he's like, they accept gay people there. And it's just bullshit. And I'm like, Hey, Joe, look, I don't know the answers. But I'm going there, I promised my dad, that's it. So I get out and I start walking, and there's a Capital Grille there. And I go, three years ago, when I was our, you know, two and a half, three, whatever it was, when I met the most scared I am of my entire life. I'm sitting there with my dad. And I tell him, I'm gonna go to Boston someday. And I tell him, I'm gonna go to this church, and I'm gonna take a picture. And there I was, standing in front of the church, holy cow. And I call, Jennifer, just to see if she can explain it to me how I even ended up there.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: She would be the one to do it.

And I didn't want to cry. But I had a complete just meltdown that God has been with us always. And will continue to be with us. And he's the only way I could have ended up there. So then I'm walking down the street, just with some coffee, and I'm, like, withstood the onslaughts. And I see the guy, we were going to meet at the church at nine go to Mass together, have breakfast, and then I was gonna go back and meet the owner. There he is. And I'm like, July, and I can't believe it. John died, I can't believe it, we, we walk up to the church, and I take a picture and I send it to my dad. And I tell him, I'm gonna sit in the front row. And I were a color like this, so he could see me online, watch me take communion. And then it all it all happened. And it was just a beautiful, beautiful service. And the best way I can describe this, it's like our bodies are always filled with like stress and worries and anxiety. And our mind is going like a million miles a minute. There's all these things that just just da da da da da, and you just never get a second apiece. And the mass is over. Joe and I took a picture. And I literally, I did not want to leave the church. I had been waiting to feel that way my entire life. And Cliff, I do mean, my entire life. I realized literally, I think it was the only time I've just ever been fully present. And not because I don't want to be present either, by the way. Yeah. So then we go downstairs, and I'm about to burst because I had a coffee ahead of time. And I gotta pee and I walk out. We hang out for a while. And then I get back to the Sunbury and I take a shower, and I'm really tired now. But I want to go over to the owners house. And I'm driving around and I walk in, he's standing there and there's his wife. I knew she didn't want me there. I knew at all. So I just walked up to like shake hands. And Cliff. She wrapped her arms around me it wouldn't let go and say anything. So we then have a beautiful night together. I drive back to the hotel. I'm going to wake up at four o'clock in the morning, do my workout, do my 5k Drink some coffee, get my head right, you know, got my plan. I wake up and God goes Nope, this happens. Every time I do one of these things. I told you about it while we were walking that day. He goes, he goes do this. So I go okay, I'm gonna do it. Split the whole plan, whatever. So the CFO doesn't want me there. I got nothing to say nothing to add on. He tells the owner I'm going to call in sick that day. I'm not even common. The guy's brother, who you know, he doesn't want to be there. The dads they're just how did I preside over this mess? My sons don't talk. They're not aligned. My daughter is dead. And now there are some strange guy from Florida coming in. One I'm walking into life You know, well, the wife probably didn't feel that way anymore. And now I'm blowing up my whole plan to do some complete other stuff. Sounds All right, yeah. So. And by the way, the CFOs mom died unexpectedly about a month ago. This is my favorite part of the story, by the way, starts up, I play the Patriots walking out as my opener for this. And I say, you know, I'm really glad to be here. You know, I was in Cleveland, you know, last time, and it's hard to find video of them winning anything. And, and before that I was in Long Island. They're all Mets fans, though, it's hard to find them winning anything either in mind, the Patriots. So I'm just here to help, you know, it'd be like that. But before we get in, I want to play another video. That to me really represents leadership. And I played the Derek Redmond video of his dad carrying him to the finish line. And I can see people just, you know, twisting and turning in their chairs. And I say, I want to do an icebreaker with everyone. Before we get started. Now that you know why I'm here. I just like to know more about you and one of the best memories from your lifetime. And the CFO. He stands up, and he just starts leaving. And he slaps me on the arm and says Do you have a minute, I'm in a presentation. Cliff, I'm not even thinking. This is a full complete out of body experience. I walk out of the room and you walk out the room and you take a left. And the guy is right there. So I'm about I'm about really just about 10 feet from where I was standing for the presentation. And I walk out and the guy is kind of bent over and his knees are on the ground. And Niagara Falls is coming out of his eyes. grown man. I didn't think I didn't contemplate I didn't calculate. I walked over and I lifted that man off the ground. And he put his head on my shoulder and he cried for 10 minutes straight just weeping right outside the door and I'm holding this man complete stranger in my arm who didn't want me there who didn't want to have anything to do with me? Nothing any just cried. And I patted him on the back. And I was whispering in his ear the whole entire time. And Cliff It was not me whispering into his ear. I don't care who hears this sees this anything. It was not me whispering in his ear. It was the most present I've ever been with a human being my entire life. There was no pretense. There was no past there was no future. full presence full of I don't know how to explain it. When Kaylee and gunner you know, well, Kaylee was already out in the real world. And when gunner had graduated and joined the Air Force, I'll just tell you like, I wanted life to be done. I really did. I had a good life. Kids turned out good. That was the main mission in my mind. Mission accomplished. But I also I you know, I told you that week and I said you know God, am I done? Oh, and he's like No, you're not. And you know, the next day he gave me the vision a big an old man in bed and Kaylee was holding my hand and then I don't even remember what happened to that Monday but something happened and I just realized like the gym was minor leagues to be doing what we're doing now. And then now all of this was like minor leagues for what's really coming for us. And I had jokingly said to God that day you know after whatever went down went down I said you know I mean how can I you know get any different this what are you going to do like allow me to resurrect dead people you know, but my sense of humor I have like and Max and I will be like walking you know, down the road and I'll see a butterfly and I'll hold my hand out like thinking the butterfly will come up and land on me and just stuff like that. But cliff that day. Dead Man was resurrected, maybe not dead in the sense we're talking Talking about. But he got up and we both walked back in that room, and everyone knew something had happened. And at the very end of it all, when we're sitting there just eating lunch and talking, before we go back to the airport, I had asked I, I texted Andy in a break. How's your dad liking this? And he just texted back. I have never in my life seen my dad, so emotional. So I say, Carl, how'd you like it? Anything else you'd like to add to the team? And he got emotional and said, Where have you been my whole life. And by the way, he wasn't talking about John Donne. And it had nothing to do with John Donne. You know exactly what he was talking about. And then

we drove away. And I can't. I can't explain to you like, where where my head's at. Exactly. But it's amazing. And I told Jennifer, I said, there's nothing you need to be anxious about. There's nothing you need to be worried about. There's nothing you need to be stressed out about. It's just all about don't let anything get in the way of you being the pure love that you are. And she said, I love you so much. And that was the last three days, just like I've always been saying, What's going on here is not what we think it is. World is that a unique spot. For sure. Not that stuff hasn't been going on through history. But God's not going to waste our talents. And what we're trying to do, it's about everyone leveling up. And becoming as loving as they can possibly be. It's about everyone being as loving as they can possibly be. And it's like the best way I can describe it to just like, my head feels different. There's this level of there's just this level of peace, that it's beautiful. It's completely and utterly. They just, you know, you think about all this stuff, we want to correct just how many people aren't even present with each other in the same household, in the same household. And it's like you go back to like crawling, standing up walking, titling, and then running. And it's like, how can we ever correct or fix anything? Or how can anyone have joy in their life, if they're not even present with each other?

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Really be present with themselves. Like we're talking about other people, but people like they are like, that's really I think, what the Dream Team program dream leadership institute that is really like, I know, for me, what it's done is it's really helped me become present myself. So then I could be present with others,

a wild, wild three days.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: So it was Carl who is the CFO, Carl

or CFO is a guy named Ron. Ron, okay, I didn't the the CEO is Andy and, like, the dad is just like the founder. And he just, he's, he's still involved, but not like day to day. It's wild, man. All right, drive. So

Dr. Cliff Fisher: I'm gonna sign off on this podcast, I'll do an intro later. But John D, that's just a day like, you know, if you want something like this happen in your life, your company, just contact us, you know, we want you to be able to be present with yourself to be able to be present with your team, your family. You know, the people that are in your lives that are important need to know that and I think so often we take it for granted that they do, or we're just not aware. So if you want to be more present with yourself to be more present with others, just reach out to us, click on the link below and really just jhandi Thanks for sharing those thoughts. Your last, you know, three days how emotional that was. And I had so many different titles running through my head from promises to my dad to God's plan. So it was so cool and great job like just being, you know, a good man, it's not a God and you know, going through that tough stuff because, like, being a good son is is not easy. You know? So

I think the you know, every moment of every day people are really focused on three things. And the first is either everything I do have or everything I don't have. Obviously most people are on In the ladder in that one. The second thing is we're either focusing on what we can control or what we can't control. Amen? And once again, where's most people's focus on what they can't control? Absolutely there, there are over two. And then the third one is they're either focused on the past, worried about the future, we have three options on that one are just focusing on the present. Yeah. And then once again, you see most people, it's the past, or they're worried about the future. And, you know, when I, when I came up with my own definition of greatest version of self of our day, everyone you'll learn, learn more about that later. And that choosing 960 minutes of love so that you could really, you know, looking at the end of the day was eye loving for 960 minutes. Even when I imagined that definition and went in that direction, which is an important part of our process is what is your potential as the, you know, what is your potential look like when you when you script it out? I had high hopes, by the way, but the level of beauty that I'm seeing right now from from making that decision, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get to 960 minutes of love. I mean, Achatz, it's how we came together.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: Yeah, persistence. So

I just like to share with everyone like those are those are three areas of focus. You have to you have to think about and really, do you believe in your life that love is truly enough.

Dr. Cliff Fisher: All right, I think that'll be a great topic for the next episode. So we'll go right into that so next episode is love truly enough. Let's talk about that. What that means and so Alright, tribe have an awesome rest of your week. And we'll see on the next one, John D. Thank you for sharing. See you guys later.