EP26: Listening to your body through SoulFlow™ with Brenda Juby

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It is so wonderful to have you guys back listening to another episode of winning with wellness. I'm thrilled that you're here and honored that you choose to share your time with us. And I have the amazing Brenda duby here with me today and we're here to talk all things wellness. Welcome, Brenda.

Thank you so much Jenny for having me. I'm so looking forward to this.

Oh, it's gonna be so great. But what I want to do first before we dig into the juicy stuff and have a conversation is I'd like to share with people a little bit about you. So I'm going to share some of your background and then we'll dig in. Okay. So Brenda juby is an international best selling author, mentor slips say that 1000 times I bet soul flow, embodiment facilitator and speaker so soul flow, you guys, okay, so flow. Previously, as a registered nurse and educator in the healthcare field, Brenda empowered students and staff to explore their ways of thinking so they could tap into their inner resilience and improve both their personal and professional lives. Brenda has experienced many life challenges and challenging and changing events, which awakened her spirituality and provided her the opportunity to understand how the experiences even challenging ones, enhanced her life off, I love that she now takes these powerful learnings and shares them with others to inspire hope, and provide hope and help them to create resilience. So Brenda, welcome aboard.

Wow, thank you.

I am so excited to dig into this conversation with you. And I would love to know, let's let's like let's pull the elephant out the slow soul flow. Let's talk about that. What does that mean?

So flow is something that I have learned from my mentor who actually developed the whole slow flow. It's an embodiment practice. And this is something that I've kind of it's, it's called To me, it's kind of like an evolution of my understanding of health. And I've been in health a long time. And wellness is how it's understanding the language that our body speaks. This is the one of things that we don't necessarily pay a lot attention to is that, you know, we think it has to be a physical symptoms, but we don't actually ever sit back and go, what is my body feeling? What is what is it trying to tell me? And sometimes it's giving us little hints, and I've been a prime example of it. That is telling us yeah, there's something going on, there's either some trauma and trauma doesn't have to be something extensive. It could be like, I've had three major car accidents, that's trauma that is stored in my body. And I get little things like it could be just my stomach's upset sometimes when things are bothering you, but it's really about embodiment practices about understanding the language or body speaks. And soul flow is a term that she's done to look at movement, mantra and dance. It's like a dance. So it's actually how do we take How do I how do I kind of explain in a way that's very easy, soulful? For me, it's like getting tapping into that inner core wisdom that we have inside of our soul. It's there, but we don't know what's there. We don't pay attention to it. soulful allows us to tap into that by going through like four phases, and it's done through dancing and there's no choreography, there's no no one has to have any dance techniques. It's really you. It's done through music. So at the beginning, I will put people into an intention, what's the intention setting to get you into almost like, what's your intention coming, and then also put you into a little bit of meditation where we can start to ground connect to our breath, so that we can start to get into that state where we want to start to listen to what our body is telling us. And then through music. I will start you to get you up and start to dance slowly moving, and then it will be a little bit more static in this process. is only 70 to 90 minutes, it's very, very short. But in those phases, it's about calling up what you want to release in your body, what is it that you really want to release because we hold so much in our body, we don't even realize how much is there. And this to me, if you look at health, this is a way to get rid of it without really necessarily having to go have talking to somebody, you know, I talk therapy is important, but it's not always for everybody. And sometimes this is a way where you can have some empowerment, some control, and then through that, you start to release through dancing, and you really start to let it out, then you start to call in your desires, what is it that you desire, and really listening to enlighten your body move what ever way it wants to move, your body knows what it needs to do, we just have to trust it, we need to turn off the mind and start putting into our soul and our heart and just allowing the music to move you and then we allow that to really celebrate what we've called in so you've really starting to solidify it, then I bring you down into a slower thing where you're going to go almost to Shavasana and you're going to allow that what you've called in to actually settle into your nervous system start to make new neural pathways and then and that will be through music and then at the end it's we'll come together as a community because community is so important. Community gives that sense of essence it gives us that support it gives makes us feel that we're not alone. And if COVID has taught us is that we're we all feel we are alone, but we're not alone. So and at the end it's about coming together and sharing what our experiences were. So it's done in a very for me, I love it because I love dance and to me dance is something very organic and it doesn't in music and you can dance to the music and it allows people to move in whatever way they want. If they want to lay down through the whole thing they can lay down through the whole thing. But so soflo is a way for us to start to tap into our bodies. And to me I think that was that missing piece I have all the theory on health and what it means and wellness. But the embodiment piece to me was something that was non invasive and it's something fun and it took away that I got to do something a certain way and then allows people to be more in the moment

when I love and correct me if I'm wrong I would guess the fact that this format can be done online and on zoom if people are hesitating in a group setting they can turn their camera off

yes they can and actually we suggest you just keep your eyes closed and of course you want to be in a safe place so you make sure there's no cords or

great you're not tripping tripping yes

yeah you want in a safe place but then you when you close your eyes you allow yourself to really embody the music and allow your body to move to the music and the way it wants to. But you're right you can turn off your camera but everybody's eyes are closed nobody

knows yeah I'm sure there's people listening they're like I'm not dancing right

you think there has to be there's no choreograph it's your body it's it's funny how your body will know how to move and even if it's standing still it's still taking it in

so when when we think about this modality which I you know movement is so beautiful and healing in so many ways I mean we've we've become such a sedentary being especially as you and I even sit here right now on zoom recording this episode is movement just again is so important for overall health and well being having said that if we've got somebody that's curious about this who would this really be for like you know, I mean obviously it's for everybody Don't get me wrong I mean anybody can do this I'm I would guess age, size, shape all the things but if you've got somebody who would you say is the majority of people that come to you what would you say is their biggest symptom or ailment or problem that you're trying to solve for them?

Well I'm this I've just literally got trained in this but I have been involved in some soul flow. It's really for anybody I think it's for people that are really maybe just feeling a little stuck they they're just not sure where to go they're not sure really what it is that that they want. There they know maybe I mean I take it from a standpoint it's an add on to resilience. It's you know, you're maybe just getting by you're just surviving and you're just feeling so overwhelmed and you just don't know what's going on. You don't you don't feel well, but there's no physical symptoms. You're just you're not thriving and I think we all deserve to thrive, but I know many of us aren't because especially COVID we that's hard to do in this time. And I think it's further People that really just want it, they want something that's fun. Yes, doesn't have to talk their way about all their problems, which is important modality, I am not saying not. But I think it's for those, it can be done one on one. So someone's really a little bit uncomfortable, I could do it one on one with people, it's still going through the lot. And it's really, it's really allowing yourself to really start to understand our body, and pay attention to those little things that are coming up before they become a big thing.

Especially something amazing. And you talked about and I've heard you share this before that resilience is something that you you know, not only do you believe that people have you inspire and encourage, when when people are when you work with people, and not necessarily in the sole flow format. But in all areas of what you do. Why do you feel resilient to so important to wellness?

Because it's really hard to be well, if you're not resilient, I think you're just getting by them. And I don't think that is something we should strive for. We should strive for a maximum health and health I'm talking about your physical, your mental, your emotional, your spiritual, your financial, your career, your environmental health, all health, which to me is holistic, you cannot look at one without the other. It's they're all interrelated and intertwined. So we think of health as mostly physical, but that's one one piece of it, it entails everything. And it's when we're aware of all of it, and we're striving for the best outcomes, we can have our best potential, then we can be resilient. And when we're resilient, we're able to handle life better, we're able to thrive, we're able to have a happy, we're able to be joyful, it's not that we can't be happy and joyful, but it's long standing happiness and joyfulness not just in the moment, but we also we're a society that goes through our moments. So quickly, we can't even remember one moment to the next. We don't even understanding the experiences that we're having in our life. And it's only really, through my own work. And in my Masters is that I've learned it, you know, we almost need to step outside of ourselves to look at the experiences we're having to look at them to see, okay, what is happening inside me during that experience? What is happening inside the other person, if it's with another person? What's happening between us? And what's going on around us? It's only two we understand those three levels? Do we really have an understanding of what's going on? And it's only then once we understand what's going on? Can we then say, Okay, if it was working great, what was I doing that was working well that I can use for something else? And it's not working well? Or it's a bit challenging? What do I need to do? What do I need to change because we get caught in a victim mode, you get caught on this know that? You know, well, I can't do anything about it. Because it's this Well, no, you can't change the bigger picture. But you can take little steps. If you work in a place that's very political, which I have, you can, you can get caught up in the politics and think you can ever change but you can change something within you, or even the dynamics you have with people in order to make it better for you and for them. And then slowly work at changing the bigger picture. With the collective people you bring around. We forget that

we have choice. In many areas of our lives, we we do we give that we naturally give away our choice very easily. And we succumb to the pressures around us. And we literally put ourselves in our own bondage. So I love that you share that. When we think Brenda I love that. I love resilience, I love everything the empowerment that it gives you. So if you're working with someone that's you know, when you say we got to tap into your resilience, for example, if they have no idea how to get there, is there a couple steps or any suggestions that you give them to kind of because again, if you're in victim mode, and you're trapped, feeling, how do you ignite the resilience in them?

I think in a sense of I was working with somebody it's about acknowledging little things that they're doing because most of the time when we're in that state you're right we do not see anything that we do because we were very deficit society we can name off every wrong thing that we're doing. But as somebody said, What's your what some good things you're doing people have a really, really hard time and I've done it too. It's about really starting to even acknowledge Well you know what, instead of so say somebody wanted to start to eat healthier and they got you know, of course and they every we all fall off a little wagon every now and then. I think it's like but, but those snacks are sometimes foods I don't think we should be thinking of is that they're so bad, right? If you're eating them all. They okay, but even the fact that you can say, you know, you know what, you went two hours without even getting a snack or before you would have got a snack. And sometimes it's about having someone else pointed out for them. And if something I've done this with students in it and stuff, too is that if someone's done something well, let's see, look at how well you did that. Now, what do you think you did there that made it? so well? How are you feeling? What was it? What tool did you use? And then I will say, Well, you know what you're talking about over here, this is really troubling to you. What is the tool that we can use there and bring it over here, maybe that will work there. It's about resiliency is also about understanding our strengths. And our challenges. It's not about negating challenges, because we all have them. And people have this misconception that when you think from a strength based philosophy, that we only talk about strengths, and I go no strings, or the or want more in the forefront. Because I always say I always say to people only focus on what they're doing wrong, why would they ever want to do anything, right? If you're only ever told that you can't do that, right? You start after Well, you just start to shut down and go, Well, I'm not going to do it at all. But if I say to you, you know what, you did a really great job there. I cannot believe how connected you were to that person, how this they smiled at you, you were relaxed, then they start to say, Oh, I can do this, I can do it. Sure, they'll have a little bit of downfall everyone, but the remember the part. So I always think that when I'm thinking about resilience, I always try to forefront what's working well, always first, before I'll ever is a nursing we do have to deal with challenges, you know, we have to make sure people are competent and safe to take care of other people. But that doesn't, that's not my sole purpose, I want to make sure they know what they're working well with. And then I use that in order to work with things that aren't working well. So it's a it's a, it's a really shift in the lens on which we see things. And when you understand. And I always say I use this analogy, even if you're a prostitute, the thought that you are still surviving on the street, that is a strength to breed. We forget that we think that they're not but having worked with them. That is a strength. And they need to know that I've had a client once who who lived on the street for two years, and she was pregnant. And I said to her the fact that you didn't solicit yourself, that is a huge strength, and you need to give yourself credit for that.

And I love that you bring that forward because there is celebration. And I think that's something that we again, as a society, don't do enough of is celebrating those small wins, even when they don't feel like a win. You know, those of us that struggle, and there are people out there that might be listening that struggled potentially with depression or anxiety that they got out of bed today. And for them, that's a win, you know, someone like myself, I'm an up and go get them kind of gal, I'm doing the things and so me getting up is not necessarily a win in my life. But doing other things like making sure that I exercise or move my body or those kind of things. That's where I celebrate my wins. And I love that you share like everybody's journey is going to be different. Yes. So you know, acknowledging that resilience looks differently for everybody. And it takes strength, it takes strength to to see it and it takes it sometimes like you say it takes listen when people give you a compliment you guys listen.

And you know, it's really about starting with the person story. Yeah, everybody has a story and a journey. And I think I can I speak in the context of health, but we sometimes think we're the expert. We're not the expert, we have certain knowledge that can help facilitate people, but you as a person, you are the expert of your life. You know what works and I, I fully believe it. Everybody knows what they need to do. Sometimes they just need someone to walk alongside them during on that path. They have the tools. I believe everybody comes to the table with with something you don't come with nothing. We don't we're not born that way. Not we're not born that way. But somehow we get into societal things. And we think that we have nothing, we have something. We have something we bring to the table. So it's really about starting where people are at. And as the person who's listening to this, know that you do have the tools in place. You just might need someone to walk alongside you to help you see what you already have within me.

I love that. And we, we forget that we are community based being. And you know, the term it takes a village didn't just drop out of the sky. Yeah, we we are always stronger together than Yes. It's just, you know. Yeah. And I think

you're right. And I think a lot of people have had bad experiences in healthcare, absolutely, that they've had the experiences that have made them feel that they knew nothing, or they weren't deserving for whatever your circumstances are. And that's where I do feel bad, because that is my profession. And no one should ever feel that way. But I know what has happened. I mean, even I have had it happen. And people who don't know that I'm a nurse, and I've had things happen, and you're like, that's not appropriate. You know, but I have certain knowledge that maybe I can go elsewhere. But I think people are afraid sometimes to ask questions. They feel because the person is the expert. And and if anything I can say is that you're always entitled to ask questions. And I always think sometimes we should write them down before we go visit somebody, what are the some of the things we want to know and write them down? Because when we get in there, the person starts talking, and then I've had it happen walk out, and I didn't even ask the one question I actually really wanted to ask. Because at the time, I always say to people, write them down, write down and if you have to read from the paper, read

well in and this goes from, whether you're an allopathic medicine, holistic medicine, any type of support that you're getting out there, we invite you to be in charge of your own body, anything that's happening, your own wellness is your journey. And if it doesn't resonate or sit well, in your being, don't do it.

That is such a good point. And I think that we have to trust and listen to what our body's telling us and what what we're what's in our heart to know what is best for us. Not all, you know, even if it's Western medicine, Eastern medicine, holistic medicine, it's not for everybody, but you have to, I always say just just be open enough to listen to what they have to say, and be open enough to try something. But you one want to find somebody that you feel comfortable with someone that you you've been maybe referred to by someone else who has gone to the person, especially if you're, I would even say this for a doctor to or even anybody, someone where you can say you know what, I had a really good experience. Of course, your experience might be different, but at least that gives you some kind of confidence for your body can say, Okay, I can kind of do this, I can go, I can go I can listen, bring somebody with you. But it's about being open to just trying some little things because Western medicine has its purpose, its has its place. But in order to look at health more holistically, there's other things that complement it very well. I agree, I don't think it needs to be one or the other.

Amen to that.

We need to be able to mesh the two, and we need to be able to work with both modalities western and eastern. I don't believe one is better than the other. I see I myself use both and I do

too. Yeah, we're so blessed to be in a day and age where we have choice for everything. And you know, I work with my proactive I call them my proactive team and they're my mind body and soul everything that's in my holistic field. And then my reactive team is my allopathic or westernized medicine whenever I need something that's like you know, immediate and I'm like okay Doc, you know I need to I'm in the emergency for example, etc. But the really cool thing and I'm sure you experienced this to brand it by living with my proactive team and living a proactive lifestyle. I very rarely have to go see my reactive team. Yeah, because I I'm extremely I'm blessed I would say I'm extremely healthy. Do I have things to work on? Yes, yes, yes, those of you we all do it. I am not a pillar of you know, I know I you know, yes, I eat chocolate. There's things that I have to work on. chocolates, good chocolate. I love myself a good piece of dark chocolate. Oh, chocolate

is very actually it's got some healing benefits to it. It's not that bad.

I know. But then I also like potato chips.

Or sometimes food I say you know what we can't like I know we have to. We have to live Yeah, cuz it's when we don't live then we have a hard time keeping it up. Yeah. Yeah, and this simply has to live. Yeah,

is finding, finding. It's funny, I use this word right now. But it's not a word I use very often because it's so elusive, but you find a balance that really allows you to honor all sides, you know, I like to be a crazy lady of rooms. And while and I will have chips and chocolate on the same day. But then I try also through the week to manage that, and yeah, fuel my body with really good foods and homemade products and, and, you know, green clean and all those kinds. Yeah. So it's not that

simple, important. And I think when it comes to wellness, we need to remember that it has to start with us, yes, no health care provider can do it for you. No, it's about realizing and trusting that you're the one that has to do it, no one else can do that for you. We can support, we can walk alongside you, but know that it's in you, you have to do it. And you have to have that balance. And you need to like you say your mind, body and spirit. Think about it is it's like a whole picture. It's your health and wellness is about that ultimate thing that you always striving for us to be ultimately healthy, and be preventative and proactive. Because I think, especially in western men, it's all about you already have something wrong with you, and we're going to fix it, where we need, if you're looking at healthcare to healthcare is not going to be able to sustain itself at the rate is going, No, we just have responsibility, we have to take responsibility. And we have to be more proactive and get things way before they become an issue. Because the healthcare system is not going to be able to maintain at the speed it's going. If we don't start trusting ourselves, and taking the responsibility to do to know that we can do it, and bring the people and the tools and finding the tools that work for us, which is very individual and and using them and then using ones that can help you continue to grow and learn about yourself. I mean, I know in for myself my own health has been it's been a journey, it's been a journey, my own understanding plus my own self, physically, it's been a journey. And I think that's why for me resiliency is so important because it's been part of who I am.

I love it, you know I think of of health is you know, it's a weird metaphor, but you think of a tire. If you have a tire and it's got a very slow leak, it's very easy to reverse that leak of a tire that's got a massive gouge out of it, it's a whole process to go back into healing that tire or making it be able to sustain air. And if we think of ourselves as a simple little tire, yeah, it's so much easier to repair, or, you know, heal. If we live in that proactive,

like, stop the leak. You know, if you think of people, I mean, I know some people don't have the finances to do a lot of the alternative stuff. But there's stuff that you can do yourself, like even, you know, starting to meditate, that's something you don't need. It's free. It's free, you can get lots of, you know, meditation tapes on the internet, YouTube, there's little enstar to starting to ask your body every day, you know, what's going on with it? How does my body feel today? Where Where am I feeling it in my body? And then I asked yourself, if it could talk to me, what would it be telling me? You know, there's things that we can do, because I think people think that when it comes to wellness, you either have to have this extra pot of money to be able to do the other things. And I think that we need to remember it starts with us. And there's little things, even if it's going for a walk every day, the fact that you do that, that helps you physically but it helps your mind. It helps your spirit, it helps you feel better about what's going on in the world. You know, even sitting in a meeting with somebody, you know, we can do a lot of meeting now. But even on zoom, having that connection with people that community that helps the mental health, emotional health, and sometimes it can even help financially with people can share things. Yeah. I mean, and I think we have to remember we live in a society where there's, you know, there's income disparities. Yeah, absolutely. And they still deserve wellness and health like anybody else.

Absolutely. And I love that you bring that to the forefront because if you are listening and you feel financially burdened, to be live in health, just know that there are action steps that you can take to start health doesn't have to be expensive.

Yes, and that is a misconception we have

and it takes work. I'm not gonna there's some there's some work involved because you have to do the steps like yeah, Saying, and I just want to echo This, again, nobody's gonna change your health, but you, there is no quick fix, oh my gosh, I looked,

I live I've been looking for a long time

I've looked. And you know, I had to figure out that it comes from within. And what's powerful, though about doing the work to get to wellness, is you actually build a practice and a habit in your life, that's easier to maintain. And I'm sure Brenda, you can, can Yeah, agree to that. Because we our lives are all about habits and the actions that we take every single day. So if it's a quick fix, we haven't built a habit. We haven't done the things. So I invite you to get excited. And I would guess, Brenda, you're going to echo this as well start with one thing, people

don't do the whole gamut, like, you know, well, you'll fail, and then that'll be reassuring to mine to see I can't do it anyways, your ego will say, See, you couldn't do it anyways. Yeah,

it's like, you go wrong. And we say ego, there's a difference. You guys were talking ego as in your mind, not arrogance, there's a big difference between ego and arrogance. And we invite you to prove your ego wrong.

You know, because it can I mean, having one that has a very strong ego that likes to, you know, tell me, I can't do things. And that's someone who's supposed to know everything. Nobody knows everything. We fight with our ego all the time. And I think we need to be gentle with ourselves, I think we get we live in a society where we're so harsh on ourselves that and when it comes to health, it encompasses so much. And for me, health is something I mean, I've been doing it forever, but it's something that I truly believe in. And it's something that will enhance our life in the long term and wellness. And we want to be well we want that maximum potential that we can reach and be the happiest and joyful and be able to thrive in our lives, which we all deserve. It's not for special people. It's for all of us. And I know we settle for things that we shouldn't settle for. And I want people to know that you don't have to settle. Don't have to settle health is something that's entitled to everybody. And we all want to be well. And we can, we all want and we can be well. But it does, it does take it does take a practice, but you start one thing at a time, and you start to change. And it's about really understanding the purpose of what you want to do and the habits that you have an understanding the assumptions because it's all about your values and assumptions. We all grew up. It's what you know what messages we get from the people around us, from the healthcare system from the environment, we all get messages that we assume and start to take in as assumptions. And then we assume that that's the way it is. Because that's the only thing we only know what we know. Until we're given something else to know.

If the master of our own domain.

I know it's really we always want someone else to fix it for us. And believe me, I've been trying to learn no doesn't work past it. We have to, we just have to have a belief and understanding and trust, you know who we are. But we bring the people alongside of us that can help us on that journey. health and wellness is a journey. I think it's something that has ups has downs. And we just need to be able to move with the flow.

Yeah, agreed. You know, I think that's a beautiful spot for us to to end our conversation Brenda, I cannot thank you enough for sharing your passion, your wisdom, your personal stories. It if anybody listening, see some spark of yourself and Brenda, please take action into your wellness. You are the driver of this journey. This is your life to live, we invite you all to really dig in. I'm going to make sure that Brenda's contact information is in the show notes so that you can find her but do not hesitate. Brenda is a member of your holistic earth you can find her there in our directory sheet. You just got to look her up and she's right there. And don't forget, we invite you guys to come and get your free membership. So you can come and see wellness and resources that are available to you that aren't expensive and are available which is important. So don't forget, we're here to help ignite the wellness warrior in you. Thank you so much, Brenda for being here.

Thank you so much, Jenny. I've totally enjoyed this and I hope that people really take to heart what we're saying,