EP19: 3 Common Myths About Anxiety and How to Break the Cycle With Nick Kidawski

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you're feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness, in business life and living your host, Jenny rice, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness, personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like. Thank you for joining us today.

Welcome everyone. We are here with a another episode of winning with wellness. And I am so blessed to have Nick with me today. Welcome, Nick. Hi, Jenny. Thanks for having me. Oh, thrilled to have you here. We're so excited to dig into our conversation and talk about all things about, you know, releasing stress and anxiety and just becoming more in in center with ourselves. So thank you, Nick, I can't wait for you to shed some light on some of that amazing, juicy wellness topic. Yeah, I'm excited. So I'm going to share a little bit to the audience, those that are listening about who you are, what you do. And then let's just dig right into the conversation. If that sounds good to you. Yeah, that's great. Great. So just so you guys that are listening, I really want you to understand that Nick helps busy stressed out business owners and entrepreneurs struggling with intense work demands to regulate their emotions in the moment so they can become more resilient, make better decisions and increase performance and productivity. I don't know about you guys. But that sounds like an amazing asset when it comes to functioning in work, and also in our personal lives to this is definitely transferable skills, is it not? Nick? It is? Yeah, I totally agree with you. You know, when we think about this episode, and you know, the whole purpose of this podcast is really to show wellness in different lights and in different ways. So I love to ask this question. And the very first question I like to ask is, what does wellness actually mean to you?

Oh, well, wellness means to me to really, really take care of yourself and really heal on all levels. Because, you know, we're just more than our physical body, you know, we're using more than muscles and bones. Right? You know, we're, we really have many different aspects to ourselves. So it's really important to work with all those different aspects physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you know, and from there, we can really start to become whole. And when that happens, you know, then I think, not only do our clients see it, but you know, that kind of ripples outwards, towards how we interact with our family, for example. So you know, the more that we focus on our own wellness, that can only benefit other people.

It's so true, I, you know, it's an I feel like the movements happening, and you're probably experiencing it with your clients and in your life. And I know, I'm sure seeing it, this, this understanding that if we put ourselves first it's not selfish anymore, it's actually the most giving thing we can do for others is show up as the best versions of ourselves. And if we put ourselves first and take care of ourselves, it's not being selfish. We're actually championing what we want other people to do as well. So I'm sure are you experiencing that movement as well?

Yeah, yeah. You know, I definitely agree, you know, this past year, and, you know, even now, you know, I think a lot of people have had just a lot of time to themselves, you know, so they've been almost kind of forced, you know, to look at, you know, areas of their life aspects of themselves that haven't been working out, you know, that they need to change

when you think of what you do and how you work and the things that are highlighted. You know, we talked a minute ago when I shared about what you do is one of your passions is really helping stressed out business owners and entrepreneurs and, you know, it's important for everybody listening, it doesn't matter what your job is, it doesn't matter if if you're taking care of your home, it doesn't matter if you know you are a child in a in in the relationship where there's a stressed out family, it doesn't matter really. What umbrella that's under what are Some of some some valuable tools or tips that you could give the listeners to take home today, or implement that might help them redefine that journey for themselves.

Yeah, sure. So, you know, one really simple thing to realize is that, when we're dealing with a lot of stress, or when we're feeling anxious, it feels like, our whole entire body is stressed out, or our whole entire body is dealing with anxiety. And that's not exactly true, there's actually just a part of us that's stressed out, and or there's a part of us, that's feeling anxious. And actually, everything else is really okay. So what you can do, and I recommend practicing this, well, you're not feeling stressed. And while you're not feeling anxious, so what you want to do is just, you simply scan your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and you're looking for just one area that feels safe or okay to be with in your body. So let's say for example, it's, it could either be a small area or a big area, but let's say for example, that it's your right leg. So you just want to ask what sensations in my body right? Now, let me know that my right leg is a safe place to be with right now. So your right leg, it might feel heavy, it might feel warm, it might feel soft, and just keeping your attention on that area. And then I would say in in a minute or two, bring your attention to the rest of your body, and start to notice what the rest of your body starts to feel like. And what you're doing when you're doing that is you're starting to bring more of a regulation to your nervous system. So as, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, you know, a lot of times we can be stuck in like a fight or flight response, right. And, you know, that's good for a short period of time, but long term, it isn't very good. So we want to practice starting to regulate our nervous system, so that our nervous system becomes more flexible. And what that does is that'll help us to build that resilience in our body so that the stress or the anxiety, it's not long lasting, you know, we feel it, we recognize it, we're able to work with it, and then we're able to, you know, move forward, you know, so we don't want to, again, kind of get stuck in that fight or flight state for long periods of time.

And do you find so you know, because some people listening will be like, scan my body? I don't even know what that means. So when is it just becoming very mindful of where you feel the most common your body? Is that what you're what you're recommending, so let's just pretend I have no idea what you're talking about. Because I'm sure there's somebody listening going scan my body? I don't have a scanner, right? Can you give a little more? I guess early, even just kind of break that down a bit deeper for people.

Yeah, so scanning your body. It's just, um, you know, if I were to tell you, okay, can you bring your attention to your right foot? Okay, would write my right foot. So now that you brought your attention to your right foot, can you bring your attention to your right elbow? Gotcha. Right. And most people will be like, yeah, I can do that. So I'm asking, asking them to do is just to bring their attention through their body from the top of their head all the way down to the tips of their toes. And just become curious about an area that feels safe, or okay to be with right now.

Mm hmm. So moving, let's say somebody is feeling anxiety in their chest moving to that safer place to move through that anxiety?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because what people do is they do the exact opposite thing. So when they're feeling stressed, when they're feeling anxious, they notice that in their body, and then that's what they're paying attention to. And that if you do it that way, those feelings are just going to magnify, right? And then that's going to increase your stress that's going to increase your anxiety and you know, We know, from really a scientific standpoint, when that happens, that it shuts down the part of our brain that helps us make decisions that helps us plan, you know, that helps us to be creative. And so, you know, again, being an entrepreneur, you want to, you know, keep those faculties you know, kind of open, you don't want them to, to shut down

that darn amygdala brain, I'm telling you. It's so interesting, I was having this conversation the other day with somebody about just validating your your exact point, I was super tight on a deadline extremely behind, you know, yes, it happens to all of us. And, and exactly what was happening, I couldn't focus long enough to actually get into action, because I was in that kind of fight flight or freeze mode. And it was so interesting, like you say, the moment I slowed down and walked away from it, and it made it not as important, I was able to come back with a fresh mind and step in and do the work. So it's, it's just very interesting, that sometimes we think digging in hard and doing all those things is better for us when actually just changing our scenery. Because, like you said, our thoughts become things, they become our reality. Right? So I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. When when, and most of us, we all end up where we're doing. And what we're sharing with people usually stems from our own personal experience. So when you think about, and of course, only share what you're comfortable sharing. But when you think about your own personal journey, what would you say to a younger version of yourself, as you know, maybe at the beginning of becoming aware of of these opportunities, or tools and things like that? What would be something that you would, if you could, time travel? Right, like, you know, Doctor Strange, for normal, you can ship? What would you tell yourself?

Oh, you know, I would say, to definitely go out there and find help, you know, so, my anxiety really had to do, really, with a car accident that I was involved in, when I was a lot younger, you know, when you're learning to drive, you know, I wasn't the best at it. So I got into a car accident. That was my fault. And what happened was, I held that anxiety in my body for years and years and years. And then when I went to go start a business, you know, getting out there and marketing myself, going to a networking events, you know, being on podcasts, that anxiety would come up in me, and I didn't understand why it was there years later, you know? So I would say, yeah, definitely go out there and, you know, find some help, you know, whether it's counseling, whether it's coaching, whether it's, you know, getting massage, getting some sort of body work, you know, there's always some help out there. And you're definitely not alone. Like, you're definitely not the only one out there feeling the way that you do. There are other people and, you know, again, there's, there's help out there, there's support out there. Yeah, that's what I would, that's what I would say.

And I love that you share that. And thank you for, you know, being vulnerable and your story, because we don't sometimes know the root cause of where stress comes from. And, yeah, we push it down, and we hide it. And then of course, it manifests and it becomes bigger and larger than life and wellness does not have to be a solo journey. It doesn't have to be something you do alone. And partnership is a powerful tool. And, you know, understanding that you aren't alone, I think is extremely beneficial to all areas of our lives, not just when we're working through the hard stuff, but also through the good stuff. So thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it. So when you think about what you do, and the the modality that you're in, and your focus, what are some things if you know, for talking about, let's say stress, for example, and leading people to a pathway of wellness, if they work, never to seek help or support or you know, move into that type of wellness but they wanted to at least start something at home. There are a couple of things that you would recommend that they could do to to journey through some of this. Like I know you talked about getting, you know, getting centered with understanding where your anxiety is. Some people need more tactical stuff. Do you have any other other opportunities or ideas for them?

Um, that, you know, I, I mean, one, one book that really helped me was called the body keeps the score by Bessel Vander kolk. And you know, in that book he talks a lot about, well, it's really trauma, but he talks about when someone is dealing with that, exactly what is going on in what's happening in their body. And I think it's really important to understand that, because when we're dealing with stress, when we're dealing with anxiety, and we have all those uncomfortable sensations that are coming up in our body, again, that just kind of magnifies everything. But if we can start to understand what's happening in our body, and why it's happening, then that can start to take just that little bit of little bit of edge off of the stress or half of the anxiety, you know, so it's, it's really having an awareness of what's going on. Because without that awareness, you know, it's, it's really, really hard to hard to change.

Well, and I love that you said that, because and I want to touch on the word you use, which is trauma. And again, I think it's a very similar concept of wellness. And what we're what we're hoping to enlighten people on is that wellness isn't about being sick or healthy. It's about that gray area we live in, in between and trauma, many of us don't realize trauma can take on different forms. And what I perceive as trauma is going to be very different from what you perceive as trauma. And I think, I think we don't allow ourselves to understand that something that might seem small to somebody else could be exceptionally traumatic to our person in ourselves. But we're looking at it through a lens of maybe what we've seen on TV or, you know, well, this person's got it so bad, mine is not like I don't have value into thinking that I have trauma, which again, creates that festering and you know, that, you know, the hiding from it, or, you know, not addressing it or not feeling worthy enough, because it wasn't traumatic enough, if that makes sense. Have you experienced that when you've worked with, with some of your clients in that?

Yeah, you know, I mean, we carry our history in our bodies, right. So it's really only a matter of time, when you're working with someone, when, you know, some sort of very stressful or traumatic or anxious experience that they went through, you know, comes up in a session, and you know, that could be affecting their business, it could be affecting their home life, you know, whatever the case might be. And really, with the work that I do, it's helping people to be able to retrain their stress response in the moment. You know, like you mentioned, he knows stress, trauma can be really big or really small. But that's going to determine how resilient you are, how resilient your body is, you know, if someone's body isn't that resilient, those little stressors are going to affect them a lot more than if you have someone who's very resilient, you know, they'll be able to handle it a little, and the big stressors, you know, a lot more easier. And when you're in that space, you know, your business and in your life can just flow so much more smoother. Mm hmm.

So I love that you use the word resilience, when we think of resilience, if people What advice would you give to people that are wanting to robust their resilience? Or let's say, you know, tap into her or expand their resilience? Do you have any advice for those people?

Well, you know, I'm getting back to what we were saying at the beginning and wellness. So really, working with all aspects of yourself. You know, a lot of people when they think of wellness, they think of just oh, I'm going to go to a yoga class, or I'm going to go for a run or I'm going to hit the gym after work, right. A lot of people just think of taking care of their physical body, you know, but I would encourage them if they are, you know, doing those sort of that sort of exercise, that's great. But I would Encourage them to write down. Okay, where am I, with my emotional wellness? You know, where am I with my mental wellness? Where am I with my spiritual wellness? And how can I start to, you know, create a plan of action to start to work on those as well. Because, you know, we certainly don't want to neglect, you know those those aspects of ourselves.

I love that it's the whole, right. And I think many of us get caught up in that, like you said, you get caught up in this section of your body that's not feeling good instead of focusing on the whole. So really great nuggets here that you're sharing with everyone. Thank you so much, Nick, I really appreciate it. And as we finish up our time together, I would really love to ask you is do you think? Is there a question that you've been burning for me to ask that I've missed? Are you feeling pretty, pretty wary at? Am I missing anything that we need to share?

Um, no, no, I think you did. You did an awesome job. I really, I really appreciate all of your questions. Well, thank you. I'll take that all day.

So Nick, thank you so much for being here. And just for those that are listening, Nick is going to share, we're going to put it in the show notes. He's got an amazing it is a paid online five day course. And it's called three steps to calm alleviating anxiety for the busy entrepreneurs. So I'm gonna put that in the show notes. For anybody that's interested, you can access through Nick's website. And we'll also make sure you have his contact information and all that there. So Nick, thank you so much for being here today.

Yeah, thank you much. Thank you so much, Jenny. It was awesome.