Your 5 Eating Voices| Ep.14

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chauncey Dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, dear one. Welcome to today's show. How is your summer going? I am having such a good summer so far. Finally, the sun has come out which is so welcome. And I spent been spending a lot of time North Island. So I live on Vancouver Island and northern island, there's no cell service. So we've been camping up there a lot right on a beautiful lake. And it's been amazing. Being able to just chill with no service, no phone spending that time with my kids. It's been it's been really awesome. So I hope yours is going great too. And one of the things that's kind of neat is I was shopping with my 16 year old for camping. And we were going up and down the aisles, picking out stuff that he wanted. And we were talking about food and nutrition and quote unquote junk food. Okay. And it was fascinating to me, because out of nowhere, he started talking about his experiences of growing up with me as a nutritionist who was really really obsessed with not letting him have sugar. Now he doesn't really understand fully what I do as a business right now. He just sees the changes that we've had in our life in our day to day eating lifestyle, talk about food, the way we approach food, our relationship with it in our bodies. And he was talking about how when he was little, he would be obsessed with sugar, he would ask like his friends at school for all of their treats and their lunch. And if he went as he was growing up, if he went over to a friend's house, he's like, Mom, I felt so deprived that all I wanted to do was eat all the junk food in their house. And this is so cool to me to have this validation. I actually just recorded a podcast that it will be coming out in August about raising intuitive eaters. And I don't have shame about this, I definitely don't have like regret or guilt about how I raised Jacob when he was little. I'm just really, really loving the fact that he's seeing this now and that we're having this conversation now. And he's becoming an embodied eater now. And he said, Mom, I had to like go crazy with the with the food, when you stopped controlling it. He goes, I went nuts. He said, But now I'm really wanting to choose foods that make my body feel good, as well as have pleasure. So he was actually reiterating and telling me exactly what I'm talking about on this show, which I just think is really, really fantastic that he's grown here. And you know, my other two were a little bit younger. And I started to already heal my relationship with food as I was raising them, so I wasn't as strict. And I definitely see that they didn't have that same like compulsive eating thing that Jacob did. So I just really want to encourage you in that because I felt really encouraged and that this shit works. So just take that to heart. And if you're finding that transitioning into embodied eating or helping your family transition into embodied eating is taking a lot of patience, right, it's taking a lot of like, it's a steep learning curve, I get it and that's why I want to have this show for you to be able to connect with you and serve you. And if you are finding that this is it's difficult stick with it, please do and definitely as I always say reach out for support.

Okie dokie so let's chat about what we're talking about today. My focus today is really wanting to help you get into your brain and to start to really learn how to listen to the different voices that are talking to you about your food choices. Okay, so I'm taking this adapting it from the intuitive Eating book. And I don't consider myself an intuitive eating coach. I'm an embodied eating coach, there is a difference. But there's a lot of different crossovers. And this is definitely a tool that I oh my gosh, I absolutely love it. And I love teaching it to my clients, because it's really helped me kind of learn how to dissect my thoughts better. And then when we can do that, right, remember, awareness is power. So when you start to be able to really listen to the different thoughts and go, Oh, that's what's going on here. And what do I want to choose to think this will really empower you on this road to embodied eating. So I'm super grateful for the intuitive eating coaches, to have this tool that we can use here. Okay, so let's just call these the eating voices of your brain. And there's five of them. So I'm gonna go through all five of them. And then I'm actually going to read out a excerpt from the intuitive eating book that I think will really kind of drive at home. Okay, so the first voice, intuitive eating, they call it the food police. So I call it the brat brain. Because again, we really want to build a relationship with this part of our brain. If you remember from future episodes, this part of our brain is the part that's really wired to keep us safe, and to always be looking for danger for threats out there. So she is primal, she is primitive, and we love the heck out of her, Okay, we don't need to fight against her, we just need to understand her and help calm her so that she knows we are safe. So the brat brain thinks she's serving you. And she will be so convincing that she is. And in our society, there's a lot of fat shame, right, that fat phobia, and we're getting the diet message everywhere. So your brat brain picks up on that. And she gives her like high alert. She's like, Oh, my goodness, I can't gain weight, oh, my goodness, I have to lose weight, oh my goodness, that's going to make me fat, that's going to make me fat, and so on. So she's really, really convincing in this way. But in reality, it's not serving you at all, because all of this is just conditioning. All of this is just society's lies, and our brat brain is we are able to really love her and calm her through this. And one of the ways that we can is by bringing in the other different voices of our eating brain on purpose. Okay, so again, number one brat brain thinks she's serving you, she's obsessive wants you to keep dieting for ever, because she's full of fear. So what we want to do is become aware of these other voices and call on them. So the next voice is called the informant. And this is really where we get into curiosity. Okay, when your brain when you're like approaching your food choices, and your relationship food with that upper brain, that brain that can plan ahead, she's logical, she can really look at the whole situation and think what is actually happening here, right? She's not led by this primal compulsive drive to keep you alive. She is higher level than that. And when you can look at your choices and your relationship with food from this upper brain, she becomes an ally for you. And she really helps you make choices. without guilt. She helps you make nutritional choices. She helps you look at what makes you feel good, right, helps protect your body makes you feel alive and gives you energy. And also don't forget, gives you pleasure, that's a really important one. She's not afraid of food. She's just really curious about it. And she helps you turn into your body's cues, and just get really, really clear on what makes you feel amazing. This is when she's an ally. However, the informant can also kind of link arms with the brat brain, if we don't keep educating ourselves. If we don't keep connected and we don't keep growing. She will go Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right brat brain, that is a threat. We can't have that. Okay. And she will then use nutrition. She will look at the labels, right? She'll look at the carb couch, look at the calorie count, exam, etc. To keep you on the diet train. So with this, what I invite you to do is drop into this informant drop into the curious curiosity and notice the thing she's saying to you. Is it in service of you? Or is she just tried to keep you on the diet train And with this, what we get to do is call on the third voice. And this voice is called the nurturer. So if you remember, one of the pillars of embodied eating is compassion. Okay. And the nurturer is all about this. She really asked the question, why would you really need here? What's going on? So if your brain that Informit brain is blinking arms with that brat brain, and you're in the fridge, and she is criticizing the heck out of you, okay, the nurturer comes in and goes, Oh, sweetheart, what's going on for you here? What are the fears you have? What are the thoughts you're thinking? How do you actually want to feel, and she will support you towards this ultimate goal of becoming an embodied eater. So she makes decisions from love, and she leads with curiosity and compassion. She's like a warm hug. Okay. So when you think about that, when you're beating yourself up with the brat brain screaming at you, when the informant is telling you, you know, to keep on the diet train, she's that warm hug that comes to you and says, you're good. You're okay, this is a journey. This is nonlinear. There's no wagon to hop on or fall off of, and she helps you really stay in tune with you and your ultimate goal. So the nurturer always serves you, okay, most of while, three, three of these other voices serve you. And sometimes they don't depending on where they're coming from. And that's why we need to keep watching out and listening to these voices. But the nurturer will always serve, which is a beautiful thing. So we want to call on her for that curiosity and compassion, always warm hugs, always. So the next voice is called the rebel voice. And when ruled by that upper brain, when serving you, this rebel voice really helps you guard your boundaries. So if someone say you're at like a family function, and your grandma is trying to make you eat and eat any meat, if that's her love language, right? She's like, Here, sweetie, I made you this and like, fill your boots, and Oh, you didn't get enough. And you know, here's the third force serving. So this rebel brain, she's soft, and she has boundaries from the inside out. And that means she sees her worth, she sees her value, she feels like enough. She's not having to prove anything to anyone. She's gentle. She's also not having to put up like, barriers, these boundaries she sets are not to protect from the outside, right? There's nothing wrong here. Grandma's just loving on Yeah. But she protects you from that inside out by going, You know what, grandma? No, I really am false. Thank you, I love you. But I'm going to pass on this. And this may make Grandma feel uncomfortable. And that's okay. And that is sometimes really hard. And again, that's where we have to go to that nurturer. Right. What is important to us? Grandma doesn't understand. Maybe grandma has a diet or maybe grandma. Here's another thing. This is also what the rebel does. Maybe grandma is commenting on your body, right sitting around, maybe she's like, Oh, well, you've definitely packed on some pounds. I had a grandma or I have a grandma, who would say that kind of stuff to me. And it was really hard. It was really, really hard. But calling on this rebel, I'm able to say Grandma, you know, conversations about my body. It's just not happening. I'm not open to that. And yes, at first, this is awkward. But as you continue to set these boundaries with love, people will start to respect them. Okay? And if they don't, that's on them. And then you get to excuse yourself from the situation or whatever to take care of you. So we'll do you know, I've just decided I think we will do a whole episode on boundaries. Because I think it's really important to actually understand what they are, understand how to set them and to really call on this rebel voice to be able to support you. So stay tuned, we will do that. Now. On the other hand, the rebel does not serve you when she drives you to overeat and self sabotage. So think of this scenario, you're at a party and you did all your diety things beforehand, okay, like maybe you went for a run that day you worked out and then you ate something, quote unquote, healthy before you go, so that you're full before you get there so that you're not going to be as tempted by the buffet table, etc. Okay, whatever diet tips or tricks you've done, you've done them in this situation and you go there, and you're seeing the buffet buffet table and you're not hungry. And you're like, you know what, screw it. I'm going to eat it. All right. And you binge. Okay? This is really common in dieting behavior, right? This is really, really common to be like, Screw it, I just can't do this. I'll start again on Monday, or I'll start again tomorrow, maybe I will eat all the cookies, you know, out of the cookie jar, and then I won't be thinking about them anymore. That's the rebel speaking here. And we want to be on to that voice, that rebel voice. Because, again, what we want to do is go okay, what do I really want here? Why am I self sabotaging? What's really going on? So even as an embodied eater, okay, when you don't have these Diet Rules, and you're not making all of these, yeah, rules for yourself, the rebel can definitely come in, when she's like, don't do this, this isn't going to work, you're going to start gaining weight, or you're going to lose control, or blah, blah, blah, and screw it, let's go back on a diet. So that's also the rebel voice. So pay attention to this and call on that nurturer to be able to love yourself through it and call out for help because you deserve the best. Now, the last voice is called the observer. And the observer, again, always serves. So the nurturer and the observer, all we serve you. And these are the voices we really want to call on when those not serving brat brain voices, the informant and the non serving rebel come up. So the observer really helps you make decisions from that future self from that embodied eater that you are growing into? It's like, what what would she do? Right? If I was absolutely in tune with my body's cues, and just have living in food freedom, what choices what I make right now. And these are the questions that she will bring up for you and that you can get curious about and it's really fun, looking at that future self that you're growing into. And taking action, as her is one of the most beautiful and powerful ways to be able to live how you want to now and to be able to grow in your goals. Now, in a very soft and gentle and really supportive way. Right? It's opposite from punishing, it's not like all the shame, you suck, blah, blah, blah, you have to do better. It's like, no, who am I growing to be? And how would she show up right now in this situation. And then from that nurturer place taking action. And this observer really keeps you in touch with your body and her cues. So we want to drop in to those sensations. We want to be able to really ask our body, what will serve you right now what will feel good to you. And this observer is that voice that will help you do that and show you what your body needs. So again, she will always serve you she is a beautiful, so we really want to link arms with her and that nurturer and those other voices that do serve you to be able to grow into the embodied eater that you deserve to be. Woohoo, talk about freedom. So cheesy. I love it. Okay, now I'm going to read a, just an excerpt from the intuitive eating book. So this is a tour of eating by Evelyn Tribble Lee and Elise reach. I think that's how you pronounce the name. And this is sort of like one of the quote unquote, bibles of intuitive eating. And again, I am not an intuitive eating coach, I do use a lot of the concepts. But what I am as an embodied eating coach is and I really, I thought I made up that word, but I did it. And there's a lot of people who call it body eating, intuitive eating back and forth, okay, but my philosophy is different. And the intuitive eating approach doesn't have the four pillars of the embodied eating that I absolutely think are so beautiful and foundational to this process. Okay, so there's definite crossovers, but we are different. But I still think, oh my gosh, there's so many amazing different tools and resources in the intuitive eating realm. So I'm gonna read this out to you and it's just like, different perspectives of different voices as you're dealing with one circumstance. Okay, so you've been invited to dinner at the home of a gourmet cook. Many appetizers will be served during the cocktail hour, and a later spectacular dinner will be placed before you. Unfortunately, you arrive at the party at an over hungry state. Okay, so the brat brain says you'd better be careful of what you eat. Everything is fattening. Don't touch the appetizers. If you even take Is that little quiche, you're a goner, and you can be sure you'll be tempted with lots of rich dessert. Now comes the nutritional informant. So this is that informant part from the upper brain. And she says, Well, we really, we really wouldn't feel that great eating all that cheese, because there's a lot of fat in it. And that combined with the salt really makes us feel bloated. Let's eat the raw veggies. Now, when you look at this, she's dropping into the nutritional aspect of how it will make you feel. Not that that cheese will make you fat or not. Okay, it's a different approach. So it might end up in the situation having the same result, okay, of just eating these veggies, but it's a different approach entirely. It's about honoring your body honoring her needs without judging her for the weight part. Okie dokie. The next one is that rebel. Okay, this is that rebel who comes in and wants to keep you dieting, and she says, nobody is going to tell me what I can eat at this party. I hate that stupid diet. I've had to succumb to Carper crackers, and diet, cottage cheese will not tonight, I'm gonna get my fill of these amazing foods. I don't care what happens to my diet, I don't care if I'm fat. I'll show my wife what she can do with the comments about my weight. Okay, so you see that it's coming from a deprived, restricted place going Screw this, and everyone else, I'm going to do what I want in a way that actually doesn't make the body feel good. So the observer comes in and says, look at the interesting array of appetizers. A lot of them look good. I'm overly hungry, I better eat something, or I'll probably over eat at dinner. Okay, so this observer is dropping into the body saying what do I really need. And this observer in the embodied eating way, is going into that hunger scale from the other episode. So if you haven't listened to that, go back, listen to the hunger scale episode, because that is a really, really good way to tune into your body's cues. And if this is remember, when you're overly hungry, if you're like at a negative to negative three, that's when we'll often over indulge more than our body needs for fuel and it's not also for pleasure. So what that is what embodied eating we define as overeating, when it's not for fuel, and it's not for pleasure. Okay. Now the ally comes in and says, I don't think I'll have any cheese or fried appetizers tonight. They're very rich and will make me feel to fool for dinner. I'd rather have some crab and veggies now. So I can still have some hunger for dinner. And then enter the nurturer. This food looks terrific. I want to taste everything. It's scary to feel such an overwhelming desire to devour these appetizers. And that's okay. It's normal to feel this way when you're ravenous. This isn't the usual situation. And I'm human. Do you see that warm hug approach? It really is so effective. And the embodied eater so it says intuitive eater in here. But let's say embodied eater goes. I'm very hungry.

I'm at a positive or sorry, I'm at a negative two. But I think I'll pace myself, so I won't feel too full to enjoy the dinner later. Let's see all of the appetizers. Hmm, which one looks the best? Oh, I haven't had pizza in a long time. And that looks so good. And so does the baked brie. I think I'll try them both. The Brie is great. But the pizza is kind of soggy. I think I'll throw the pizza out and taste the stuffed mushrooms. And halfway through dinner. This intuitive eater this embodied eater says this is delicious. But I'm starting to feel full. One more bite and I'll feel satisfied. I feel great getting to eat anything I like and leaving some of it without feeling deprived. Ah, that actually gives me goosebumps. I love that freedom. And then the rebel who's the ally, that rebel who's really sticking up for you with these beautiful clear boundaries. She says to the hostess who's pushing seconds. She says the dinner is delicious. But I'm quite full. And I couldn't eat another helping. Thank you anyway, and then she moves on. So do you see how this works? So do you see how the different food voices can come up and some serve and some don't? Yes, this is so fun. I love this. So I've created a PDF for you to download with all of these on here, okay. It's like a little cheat sheet. So you could take this, put it in your toolbox, your glittery toolbox that we were that we're creating together here. So to be able to really serve you So I've created a PDF of sort of the Coles Notes version of this. If you're in the States, I think it's called cliff notes. But in Canada, we call it Coles notes. So easy, breezy, look at it, get to know the different voices, stick it in that beautiful sparkly tool chest of yours of all these great embodied eating tools that we are creating for you, and use this. And remember, it takes time, okay, you're not used to looking at all of these different voices. Chances are, you've been really ruled by the brat brain by the rebel, the diet rebel and by that informant that really wants to keep you dieting, so compassion for yourself. Really, really drop into that and get really curious about these and start using it, start paying attention, create more awareness. You are amazing. I love that you're on this journey with me. Thank you so much for joining us today. Oh, before I go, a little reminder, please share this with one of your best friends because every woman needs this. So let's link arms together, share away. And if you feel so inclined, and you liked this show, please go and leave a rating and a review. And if you didn't like it, that's okay. Don't leave a review. Just leave a review if you did, because that'll help it get in the ears of our people. Anyways, you are amazing. Take care my friend talk to you next week.