Making Friends With the Scale | Ep.51

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci Dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, lovelies, welcome to today's episode. Today, we're gonna be chatting all about the scale. Hey, and I laugh because when I started planning this episode, I'm like, holy crap, it's already the 51st episodes, we're over halfway to 100. And I'm only talking about the scale now. And the reason why I laugh is because I think it's so hilarious and so beautiful, that this has actually happened. It's actually quite ironic, because if this was eight years ago, the whole scale talk would have been like top of my list, it would have been something that we were digging into right away. And the reason why is because the scale was anything but neutral to me at that time, there was so many triggers around that number on the box on my floor, that I can't even begin to talk about them all with you. And I'm sure many of you who are listening have the same triggers. So this is why this conversation is so important to have yet I want to start out with the celebration of the fact that it we are so deep into the show, and it's only coming up now. Because it's absolutely neutral. To me, it is not top of mind, it's not something that I like absolutely think about at all in my day to day relationship with food and my body. So this stuff works. And I just really want to encourage you in this because if you're listening to this podcast, and if you're like, I don't even know if it's possible for me to respect nevermind, love my body, right? I don't know if it's possible for me to feel freedom around food and to really step back into my life, right, stepping off that scale. And back into my life. I don't know if it's possible for me, I don't know if it's possible for me to trust myself, to listen to my body's cues to honor my body's cues and to be able to find confidence and freedom, where my body naturally lands, when I'm taking exquisite care of her. I don't know if that's possible. So I want to tell you right here and right now, it is absolutely possible for you. And the fact that you're here, and you're listening to this and you're being diligent in even the inquiry into this possibility. I want to celebrate the heck out of that. That is amazing. We are not taught right to go against the diet industry's messaging, we are so conditioned by it in our society, it shows up in such like massive ways and subtle ways that we don't even recognize it as influence. So this work, this work is a true it's like this powerful form of self advocacy coming home to you. And when you can reach that point of truly feeling neutral about the number on the scale. Ha, that freedom you will feel it is I can't It's exquisite. I can't even begin. So celebrating you for being here celebrating the journey you're on. And I just really want to celebrate my own journey in the fact that like I said, Here I am halfway over halfway to 100 and I'm just bringing this up now. Ha thank you to this work, right? Like how beautiful that this is available to all of us. So let's dig in. So I did a post a couple of weeks back about going for a mammogram and them not weighing me and I was really celebrating this because the fat phobia that has really that's the thread throughout the medical system. It really impacts women's health care in so many ways and I don't we're not going to dig into this right now. That is the another episode. It is deep so we for sure will but right Now, no, but let's just, I just want to recognize the fact that four years ago, I went for a mammogram, and they weighed me for no reason at all, there's absolutely no reason for that routine weigh in for something like a mammogram. So the fact that I went this time, and there wasn't even a scale in the office is so exciting, because what that shows me is that the medical system slowly but surely, is waking up. And this ultimately means that more and more women will be getting the medical care that they need. And a big reason for this is because they're going to be willing to go to the doctor, because the fear of being weighed won't be there. And it is a very real fear, do not underestimate the influence of the fat phobia, that's within the medical system and how that impacts women. It's vast. So if that's not something that you struggle with, and if you can just go and get weighed and whatever, feel neutral, Oh, yay, so awesome. That is wonderful. And I want that for everyone. Now, when I first trained to be a Life Coach Brown, around 13 years ago, I specialized as a weight loss coach. And one of the things that we were taught that we were being coached on ourselves, and that I was coaching other women on was the fact that the scale is neutral. However, there is a problem with this, when you are intentionally trying to shrink your body trying to lose weight, trying to make that number on the scale go down. It is anything but neutral. Absolutely. So I would be I was in this course at first, right learning how to be a weight loss coach, and we were weighing ourselves daily. And we would report what was on the scale. And we were trying to feel okay about this, no matter what the number was and trying to make it neutral. Yet, the whole focus of the entire program was how to lose weight. So if this is something that you are dealing with right now, if you are trying to be neutral with the scale, make friends with the scale, feel fine about the number on there, and intentionally also trying to shrink it, you're never actually going to come to a place where that number is neutral. And if this is something that you're feeling bad about, if you feel bad, like I used to about the fact that that number feels very triggering, when you're being told it's neutral, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't fear the scale bubble, blah, blah, blah. If you're feeling bad about that, I just again, really call you on compassion, let's just hunico Compassion all over yourself. Of course you do. Of course, the scale is not neutral to you. And this is a journey. So the fact that you're here and you're listening to this, this is a beautiful first step, because we want to look at where we are right now. And we want to look at where we want to go. And then we want to take the steps, right loving ourselves along the road to actually get there. So step one, awareness, the scale is in fact neutral. However, if you think that you want to lose weight, if you're intentionally trying to or you give any sort of like,

power to that number, it is not neutral. So this is really good news. And it's this is like, when I first realized this, it felt so liberating. I'm like, oh, okay, it's not actually my relationship with the scale that I need to work on. It's my relationship with myself. It's my relationship with my body, it has to start there first. Because if you have a tumultuous relationship with your body, this scale, it's never going to feel neutral. So let's start there first, and let's take out any guilt, any shame if this scale feels triggering to you. And this is another reason why we really need to stop routinely weighing people when they go in just for routine things at the doctor's office, if it's not for a specific reason that they need to have that weight it should not be done because most women are at this very beginning stages where the scale is anything but neutral. So how do we make friends with our body first? This podcast is all about that. Okay, so I'm going to talk about it right now. But we're not going to go super deep into every single point, because I want you to go back and if you haven't already listened to the episodes about these things because it digs in deeper, and we will continue to dig in deeper for sure as we can continue to go along in episodes in the future but So let's just look at this number one is understand the science behind weight, okay behind weight gain, weight loss all of this, the science really is the weight setpoint. It is a weight setpoint theory, but in my experience, it is a fact people in my own life and my clients like what I see time and time again, you have a weight setpoint it's like between like 10 pounds variation, or sorry, five pounds variation on either side, where your body feels the best, where she is, like balanced, where her hormones are functioning well, where you have energy, where you can sleep well, where you're not having to feel obsessed about everything that you're putting in your mouth. And there's just a real freedom around all of it. So this weight setpoint is very important to understand. Because when you are taking care of yourself in this exquisite way, meaning you're tuning into your body's cues, you're tuning out from the diet industry's lies and that influence it has on you, when you're really going what's right for me, what does my body love to eat for fuel and for pleasure, what makes her feel amazing, I'm going to do that, when we do this, and we move our bodies in a way that feels pleasurable and wonderful to her. And, and like just so fulfilling, right? When we do this, your body will settle at this natural weight setpoint for you. And if you go below it by intentionally trying to shrink by restricting depriving whatever methods you are using, when you go below that weight setpoint your body is really believing that there is a problem that you are in famine, and it will slow your metabolism, it'll slow your digestion, it will increase hunger, among many other things in order to bring you back up to that setpoint because this is where she is safe. This is where she is thriving at. And every single time you diet and you lose weight and you yo yo back, she will put more weight on this is your body, okay? Your body is our she that we're talking about, she will put more weight on in order to protect you in case you lose again. And this is why when we yo yo diet, we go down, we go up, we go down and we go up, we continue gaining more and more and more weight. This is a protection mechanism that is built into you to keep you alive. And this is why 98% of diets do not work for people meaning they lose weight and they keep it off. Okay. Yes, we can lose weight. Yes, yeah, for sure. Okay, by restricting, you know, limiting certain food groups, calorie counting, whatever it is what method fasting, whatever it is, but your body is smart, your body is here to take care of itself. And she will always do what is best for her, meaning she will gain that weight and put more on. And it's so frustrating. You don't understand this because you think you're the failure. And then you step on this scale. And it's like you see the weight going down and you celebrate and everyone's like, well with you, and then it goes up and then some and then you feel like you did something wrong, that you failed, whatever program whatever protocol or diet you're on, that something is inherently wrong with you, my friend, it isn't you are normal. And if you lose weight, and you gain it, and then some your body is just doing a brilliant job at what she is designed to do. So this is where that compassion comes in, calm your nervous system if nothing's gone wrong. And it's actually the diets that are set up to fail, given our biology, then something needs to shift, right? If we keep doing what, what we're taught to do by the diet industry, the $73 bill billion dollar industry that truly is here just to make money, okay? If this $73 billion industry is inherently flawed, because it goes against our very biology, then we need to flip it, we need to stop feeling bad, and like a failure and we need to start pointing the fingers back and going, that is the failure. That is the industry that is failing us.

When we can really drop into this and really start to believe it and to live it to embody this truth. That number on the scale will become more and more neutral. And the reason why is because when you start to trust your body, and when you start to trust it She will settle at her natural weight setpoint it's actually just kind of curious to see where that's at. For me, it's 190 pounds, give or take a few pounds, I go up or down depending on the time of the month. And this is the, this is where my body settled years ago, when I stopped in, like purposely trying to lose weight. And I did a lot of metabolic damage to my body through dieting so much the years that my weight setpoint settled at higher than it used to be because of that protection mechanism built in that I talked about. But I love my body. And I know that this is what's going on. And she is setting here. And this at this weight where she feels good. And I'm a curvy woman. And you know what, I am good. I am good. Are there times where my brain is like, oh my gosh, you should try to lose weight, or Baba blah, whatever bikini season all of this shit starts coming in? Oh, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I'm a human woman living in this very warped culture right now when it comes to food in our bodies. So of course, these thoughts come in. Of course, sometimes my brain gets triggered by that scale. Like, like I said, In the beginning, it's not top of mind. But once in a while, I think especially during like PMS time when I'm more bloated and just more gravy and stuff like this and feeling a little bit less connected to my body personally, that happens. Thoughts like this start to trigger up. And but when you know the science, when you know the truth behind it, you can come back to that. And you can root yourself in this. And this is that body love and respect. It's okay, sweetheart. If you can see me right now on the video. I'm like holding my heart. It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay, that these thoughts are coming. It's okay that this numbers feeling a bit triggering. It's okay that you're wanting to lose weight, nothing's gone wrong. These are just thoughts. You don't have to believe them, you get to choose what you want to do with them. And for me, I go back to that neutrality. I go back to the numbers neutral. This is where my body loves to settle that I feel good. It's functioning well. Ah, I love you. Okay, so this is the process of it. So do you see here, why it's so important to actually understand the science and understand actually what's going on, instead of just trying to work with your brain around the number on the scale, it's so much more than that. Because again, you have so much conditioning that we need to unravel, we need to create more awareness of, we need to look in that Peony flower, right? Like I often say, We're these tight peonies, these little buds and then we get to open one pedal at a time and look inside and love ourselves towards freedom. And as you really sink into the truth of the science behind the weight setpoint you can then start to trust your body, start to really listen to her and honor her needs, that she shows you through the cues that we start to waken up when we are embodied eating, waking up these internal felt senses, these desires, and really starting to take care of our emotions of our physical needs of our spiritual needs all of this, it's a whole holistic approach of just this beautiful nourishment. When we start to do this, our bodies will start to trust us and we'll start to be able to trust her more. And this beautiful relationship reciprocal relationship will start to form. And as you do this, again, that number on the scale will become more and more neutral. Because it really does not matter. And when you start to just feel so good and just make friends with your body. That number it's like, yeah, okay,

take her to leave it, whatever. It's just the number. It's just data, I can go to the doctor, they can weigh me every single second. And I know because I know my body and I know how to take care of her. I know I'm doing the best for her. Now, what should you do about the scale right now, it really really depends on where you are at in your own journey with embodied eating and your own freedom around body and food. So for me, I do have a scale. I have one in my bathroom under my counter and periodically I will take it out and I'll weigh myself. And the reason I do this is because I like to use it as a sort of a measure to see if it's neutral or not. If I step on in it and there's a trigger. And where I have a thought about something to do with that number, then I know that that's an opportunity. It's an opportunity for me to get curious and an opportunity for me to just love myself more. And it's the same thing. Like if I have an overeat, where I don't eat for pleasure, and I eat past the place of fullness, and I'm into fog or storm meeting, nothing's gone wrong. It's just an opportunity to go, oh, hon, what do you need right now? What do you need to be able to love yourself more and continue along this road to freedom. And as I always say, This journey is non linear, sometimes that scale is going to feel totally neutral. And sometimes it may feel completely triggering, depending where you're at in your journey. So with this, it's always just curiosity, getting into compassion, calling on curiosity, what's going on for me right now? And then asking yourself, what do I need? This? Is that permission part? Maybe that pleasure part? Okay, what do I need to give myself permission to think, feel? And do right now? What do I need for myself to be able to love myself more through this, and never, ever judge yourself for any thoughts, okay, for any emotions that you have around this, it's all just an opportunity to sink deeper into the work that you are doing, it's all good, and it's all welcome, I really need to make that clear. So depending on where you are at, you may want to have a scale. And you may want to not have a scale, it's a very personal decision. But what I invite you to consider is, if you're at the beginning, if you're scared of this, at the beginning of your scale, know, if you're at the beginning of this journey, get rid of your scale, put it away somewhere, allow yourself to focus on the relationship building with food and your body first, there's a lot to do here, there's a lot to grow in and a lot of Peony pedals to open here. So let's just make it easier on yourself, instead of trying to do all the things at once, why not just focus and constrain into that necessary thing, that necessary thing, as in building that relationship with your body first, do that. And then when you're ready, when you feel ready to start to work on your relationship with your, with the scale, really, it's the way you're thinking about the scale in relation to your body, when you're ready to do that, then you can take it out. And when you do this, I encourage you to make sure you have support around this because there's going to be thoughts that are going to pop up that are going to be triggering, and that you're gonna have to work through. And quite often I'll see someone really doing well. They're going down, you know, skipping down a path of embodied eating, and then they weigh themselves. And then they're like, whoa, and it sets them back so far. And yes, this is nonlinear. But also, let's support ourselves in the journey. And when you are ready to start doing the work around healing your relationship with the scale, meaning making it mean nothing, right? It's just neutral. Here's a couple of questions you can ask yourself. And I really like this instead of just going on and randomly stepping on and all sudden, these thoughts start flooding you and you have these emotions, and you're trying to work through them with support, work through it with these guiding questions. So the first thing I encourage you to do is to really drop in to how you're feeling before you step on the scale. How are you feeling about your body? How are you feeling about your relationship with food? Has there been anything in the that week that's been triggering around this for you? Because you need to have this awareness because this will all impact the thought also about the number on the scale. So really tune into this drop in how does my body feel? What is my brain thinking? Then weigh yourself? There's the number. Hmm, interesting. Now, how do I feel about this number? How does my body feel about this number? If you've been doing this work, we've done a lot of work around re awakening all of these internal felt sensations, all of the senses, this is your body's communication to you. How is your body feeling when you're looking at this number? And do this without any judgment? This is just about getting curious. compassion is essential. Just get curious. So how do I feel? The next question is, what do I believe this number means? And this really goes back into that thought model, the feelings that you're experiencing come from the thoughts, you're thinking about the number. So we feel these emotions. First, they come up for us. And then we get curious, what are the things I'm believing? What thoughts Am I thinking that are creating these emotions for me? Write them down, take some time to get curious about this, do a thought download, right? Like give yourself five minutes to just sit and write everything that's coming up for you. As you get curious, like this, a lot will be revealed. And you'll be like, Oh, my gosh, no wonder I'm feeling this way. Good or bad, right? And then ask yourself, are these thoughts actually true? And this is a very, very important part. Because again, we are conditioned to think thoughts to believe things that are not our own thoughts. So when you do this work, and when you're working on making this number neutral, and you're inquiring within your brain? What are the thoughts? I'm thinking? And are they true? With this that gives you choice? If you're like, ah, actually, this is what I want to question, or Absolutely not, this is not true. This will lead you deeper and deeper into your own truth, which will create the healthy relationship with the scale that you are desiring. And with this, you will start to notice that it's not actually the number that's causing the emotions that you're experiencing. It's absolutely your thoughts every single time and you get to choose what they are. But again, this is best done with support. And this is why I've created the it tastes like freedom program, you won't just receive support from me, but you receive support from all the other women doing the same work and things that are coming up for them will also be coming up for you. And together we can link arms to walk towards the healing that you so desire and deserve. Okay, my friend, that is what I have for you today. Thank you for tuning in this work is absolutely essential. If you want to have freedom in your life, and then that number on the scale can absolutely mean nothing to you. I'm so excited for you as you continue this work towards freedom. Thank you for tuning in. And please, if you've enjoyed this program, I would love it if you would go on to iTunes and leave a review and a five star rating. Because the more reviews we have, it will be bumped up in the algorithm and more women will be able to listen to this very important freedom message. So thank you so much for doing so. You are amazing. We will chat next week.