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Learn How an alignment coach overcame chronic trauma in her life.
About the Guest:
Monika Martin is an alignment coach and soul therapist. She overcame c-PTSD and burnout without medication after many years of suffering from severe childhood trauma, crippling anxiety, terrible panic attacks, and debilitating chronic pain.
https://www.instagram.com/embodyyourflow
About the Host:
I am Saylor Cooper, Owner and host of Real Variety Radio as well as the Hope Without Sight Podcast. I am from the Houston, Texas area and am legally blind which is one of the main reasons why I am hosting this show surrounding this topic , to inspire others by letting them know that they can live their best life and reach their highest potential. I am beginning my journey in Entrepreneurship to overcome the challenges of making a living with a disability and to demonstrate that it indeed it is possible by putting in hard work! Of course I am not sure what is in store, but I am extremely excited for what is to come. My future goals include getting booked to speak on stages and write a collaborative book with my podcast guests.
Contact card, which includes all of my website and socials:
https://ovou.me/livefasetiyacehe
About the Co-host:
My name is Matthew Tyler Evans and I am from the Northeast Texas area. I am blind like Saylor is and we have the same retinal condition. I decided to join Saylor‘s podcast because I have a strong interest in teaming up with him and I think together, we can inspire the world with others with disabilities.
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of
Saylor Cooper:Hope Without Sight with your host Saylor Cooper, and
Tyler Evans:this is your co host, Tyler Evans.
Saylor Cooper:Yes. On today's episode, it's episode 33 and
Saylor Cooper:humbled outside, we recorded two episodes in one day coming
Saylor Cooper:along. We have an alignment coach and therapist who has
Saylor Cooper:overcome a lot of trauma in her life that she got out of it. And
Saylor Cooper:now she helps others. She's from France, but now lives in
Saylor Cooper:Switzerland. So of course, she speaks French. So if you can
Saylor Cooper:introduce yourself in French, that'd be great. Please welcome
Saylor Cooper:Monica. Martin. How you doing? Come on, survive.
Monika Martin:Hi, hi, Sayler. Hi, Matthew, thank you so much
Monika Martin:for having me today.
Tyler Evans:Yeah, you're welcome.
Saylor Cooper:Yes, you bet. So tell us about yourself. What
Saylor Cooper:draws you to be in that trauma? And how did you get out of it?
Monika Martin:Okay, so I grew up in a very toxic and abusive
Monika Martin:religious family, my parents have at a very chaotic
Monika Martin:relationship. There was domestic violence. Yeah, so I grew up in
Monika Martin:that environment. And, you know, like, there was obviously a lot
Monika Martin:of things going on between my parents, but my sisters and I
Monika Martin:also went through physical and emotional abuse with my parents.
Monika Martin:So that's kind of like how my life started. And, and, you
Monika Martin:know, as a child, I never felt safe. I was always anxious. And
Monika Martin:I, early on, I started to develop some physical symptoms,
Monika Martin:for example, are always had a tummy ache. And all sorts of
Monika Martin:things. And when I was when I, when I turned, yeah, in my
Monika Martin:teenage years, I started to have really bad panic attacks. And
Monika Martin:and, oh, sorry, I thought you were going to ask a question.
Saylor Cooper:No,
Monika Martin:sorry. Okay, so I started to have really bad panic
Monika Martin:attacks. And, you know, and my physical symptoms just
Monika Martin:progressed. And it was in 2020. When I very well, you. Yeah, it
Monika Martin:was really difficult here for a lot of people. And it was
Monika Martin:actually during the first lockdown here in Europe. I
Monika Martin:started to have chronic pain, like really, really bad muscle
Monika Martin:pain all over the body, I needed to sleep all the time. And I was
Monika Martin:like, okay, something is off, something is really bad. And I
Monika Martin:had been, you know, I had been on this kind of like, spiritual
Monika Martin:search for a very long time already. But I had not found a
Monika Martin:way to heal myself. So back in 2020, I really started to have a
Monika Martin:chronic back pain and fatigue. And yeah, it was was really,
Monika Martin:really bad. And things at work kind of change after the first
Monika Martin:lockdown, which there was a change in management, and all
Monika Martin:sorts of things. So the work environment became toxic for
Monika Martin:different reasons. And in 2021, summer 2021, I had a burnout. So
Monika Martin:that's when I had to, you know, I was like, I have been doing
Monika Martin:this, like, you know, like healing stuff for about 20
Monika Martin:years, and I still feel like, you know, like, crap, basically.
Monika Martin:So how did I get here. And that's when I realised that I
Monika Martin:had, I didn't want to acknowledge my childhood trauma,
Monika Martin:so I wasn't going to heal. I really had to go deep within
Monika Martin:myself and allow myself to just go through that process of
Monika Martin:healing that trauma and really acknowledging it, acknowledging
Monika Martin:the things that I went through, and that I just couldn't, you
Monika Martin:know, live my life, get out of this toxic environment, live my
Monika Martin:life, but not heal myself. Because, you know, you can get
Monika Martin:out of a very toxic environment, but the environment is still
Monika Martin:going to stay within you, especially if you grew up in
Monika Martin:that kind of environment, because that's how your brain
Monika Martin:was programmed.
Saylor Cooper:Exactly. That's how it was programmed. Yeah.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah. So I mean, if we understand it as you were doing
Saylor Cooper:healing for the past 20 years, but it never worked. You always
Saylor Cooper:felt anxious. How
Monika Martin:It was like a bandit. aid, you know, I was
Monika Martin:going to people, I was going to doctors, I was doing a tentative
Monika Martin:medicine, I was doing acupuncture, and I was also, you
Monika Martin:know, going to healers, but it was just a band aid. I wasn't,
Monika Martin:you know, I was feeling better for just, you know, a few days,
Monika Martin:or maybe a few weeks if I was lucky. But then it would always
Monika Martin:come back. So I was just, you know, spending money and
Monika Martin:spending money and spending my time and energy trying to find
Monika Martin:things outside of myself to heal, when actually, everything
Monika Martin:was within myself. And it was really about me processing my
Monika Martin:emotions and working with healing my nervous system, which
Monika Martin:was very dysregulated because of all the trauma that I had gone
Monika Martin:through. So it was more of a new thing than trying to find a
Monika Martin:solution outside of myself. So,
Saylor Cooper:did you just go a therapy to heal? Or did you just
Saylor Cooper:have just heal spiritually?
Monika Martin:So, um, I don't think you can heal spiritually
Monika Martin:when you have a dysregulated nervous system. For me
Monika Martin:personally, I had been on this, you know, healing journey for a
Monika Martin:really long time. But what was missing was the embodiment part.
Monika Martin:I just didn't work with my body because I didn't want to be in
Monika Martin:my body, which is what a lot of people experiencing trauma feel
Monika Martin:like, they don't want to be in the body. Now, I had never
Monika Martin:actually worked with the body. And it's when I had burnout that
Monika Martin:I realised that Okay, so first, there's the childhood trauma
Monika Martin:that I have to acknowledge. And second, I really have to work
Monika Martin:with my body, I have to like, be in my body. And that was the
Monika Martin:process of, you know, like, working with my emotions and
Monika Martin:working with my nervous system.
Saylor Cooper:Right. The world so you worked with your
Saylor Cooper:emotions?
Monika Martin:Yes, And, you know, I also, you know, when I
Monika Martin:had my burnout, I realised, okay, first I was sent to a
Monika Martin:psychiatrist, because I was on sick leave. And I was sent to a
Monika Martin:psychiatrist by my, by my doctor, but he just wanted to
Monika Martin:meet to take antidepressant and like, this is not what I wanted.
Monika Martin:So I just change. And then I found this truly good doctor.
Monika Martin:And she was working with a psychotherapist. So I started
Monika Martin:the therapy with a psychotherapist, I also started
Monika Martin:shiatsu treatment, and I started again, acupuncture. But you
Monika Martin:know, it was about me working on myself, but also getting outside
Monika Martin:help. And no, we're not. Yeah. And when I started to, when I
Monika Martin:started this process, it took me just two months to actually heal
Monika Martin:from burnout. And wow, yeah, and just and, and just really feel
Monika Martin:empowered and more resilient. And the ID that I have is
Monika Martin:crippling en. And the same for panic attacks. And yes, so it
Monika Martin:really changed my life, because that's when I had my burnout
Monika Martin:that actually found my purpose after doing this healing work.
Monika Martin:That's what I found my purpose. I knew exactly everything was
Monika Martin:clear in my head. Because before it wasn't the case, I was going
Monika Martin:from job to job. And I didn't know really what I wanted to do.
Monika Martin:I had an idea I wanted to work in that field. But I didn't know
Monika Martin:what I didn't know how I didn't know what kind of training to
Monika Martin:do. So yeah.
Saylor Cooper:So you took no medication at all, because I've
Saylor Cooper:heard antidepressants can make you much worse than you all. And
Saylor Cooper:that's happened to a lot of people. And so I'm thankful that
Saylor Cooper:you didn't.
Monika Martin:Yeah, I didn't, because I knew that my body was
Monika Martin:trying to tell me something. And I was like, my body has been
Monika Martin:screaming things to me for ages. But I'm not able to understand
Monika Martin:his language, now is the time for me to really try to
Monika Martin:understand what my body wants. And I didn't want to and I
Monika Martin:didn't want to go on medication because I knew that it would
Monika Martin:just, you know, cut me off my symptoms, so to speak, and I
Monika Martin:wouldn't have the opportunity to actually heal the root cause of
Monika Martin:you know, all the things that I was going through.
Saylor Cooper:And so, now that you've healed, do you still have
Saylor Cooper:these panic attacks? Does it still work in progress? Are you
Saylor Cooper:free?
Monika Martin:Okay, so I haven't really I haven't had a
Monika Martin:panic attack in your really, really really long time.
Monika Martin:However, you know, just like normal people. I still deal with
Monika Martin:anxiety once in a while depending on the situation or
Monika Martin:the challenges, but I don't have crippling anxiety like to
Saylor Cooper:because I've I was on a plea I had someone on a
Saylor Cooper:previous episode of hope without sight and they they gave me an
Saylor Cooper:eye opener there's a difference between mental health and mental
Saylor Cooper:illness. Mental health is caused by like, everyday normal
Saylor Cooper:stressors in life, like you'll have normal anxiety. Mental
Saylor Cooper:illness is more chronic. Mental illness is a condition that
Saylor Cooper:affects the way you think and act. And it's long, it's more
Saylor Cooper:severe, it's long term, and it requires more treatment.
Monika Martin:So I would say I wouldn't call them like mental
Monika Martin:illnesses, because to me, it feels more like an imbalance and
Monika Martin:imbalance. Yeah
Saylor Cooper:and right,
Monika Martin:from what I have learned, because I need a
Monika Martin:certification in somatic embodiment and regulation
Monika Martin:strategies. And what I have learned from that, which is also
Monika Martin:what I have learned, from my own experience, is that a lot of
Monika Martin:things that people come to illnesses are actually a
Monika Martin:disruption of the nervous system. So if you're able to
Monika Martin:heal the nervous system, you can actually hear yourself, you
Monika Martin:know, depression, anxiety. I have, you know, I have heard
Monika Martin:people heal bipolar disorder, just by working with they're
Monika Martin:working with a trauma Coach, and we're working on healing the
Monika Martin:nervous system. So, you know, like, I'm, I'm really not
Monika Martin:against medication, because in some cases, it's, you know,
Monika Martin:like, some people really need to have those same time. Yeah, but
Monika Martin:at the same time, you need to work on the root cause issue of
Monika Martin:your imbalance or disorder, right? You just take meds,
Monika Martin:you're never going to heal.
Saylor Cooper:No, it makes sense. Med's don't heal the
Saylor Cooper:disorder, they just keep it in check and balance.
Monika Martin:I know when possible that
Saylor Cooper:what makes you get past it is the trauma is
Saylor Cooper:healing from the trauma of law. So that's why you need when
Saylor Cooper:having diseases like bipolar disorder, you need both
Saylor Cooper:psychotherapy and medication. Yep. And so, now you're in
Saylor Cooper:alignment coach. Yes, you teach people how to stay calm and life
Saylor Cooper:and avoid panic attacks, because I've, honestly, I, I have
Saylor Cooper:anxiety like normal. I mean, especially among an
Saylor Cooper:entrepreneurial venture, starting up a business and it
Saylor Cooper:comes a lot with that there's anxiety with that, can you give
Saylor Cooper:me tips on how to manage that and stay aligned.
Monika Martin:So it's more an anxiety that is caused to a
Monika Martin:spare specific situation. Now in the present, we're not talking
Monika Martin:here about anxiety that is caused by an a trauma from your
Monika Martin:childhood, for example, or a past event in your life. We're
Monika Martin:talking here about specifically because you're on this
Monika Martin:entrepreneur. Venture, right? Yeah. Okay. So if you have
Monika Martin:anxiety around this, you know, when you feel the anxiety, and
Monika Martin:this is something that people actually do not like to do, and
Monika Martin:I faded through it doing this, but just sit down with yourself
Monika Martin:and let yourself feel whatever it is that you are feeling. And
Monika Martin:then ask yourself, Why am I feeling this way? Because
Monika Martin:emotions are here to let you know something. And emotions
Monika Martin:needs to be expressed in order to be released.
Saylor Cooper:They do they do.
Monika Martin:So it's actually very easy. When you learn how to
Monika Martin:handle your emotions. Life gets easier.
Saylor Cooper:It does like it, you just have to manage it and
Saylor Cooper:also do meditation sessions every day. I don't know if
Saylor Cooper:you've gotten those. Oh, yeah,
Monika Martin:meditation works, works very well, as well,
Monika Martin:especially, you know, when you want to start your day, and you
Monika Martin:know, you want to be in that really good positive energy.
Monika Martin:Meditation is also is also great. But when you're in the
Monika Martin:moment, and you're really feeling the anxiety, I know for
Monika Martin:some people, it's hard to actually like do a meditation,
Monika Martin:because, you know, they are too, too anxious to even kind of
Monika Martin:like, take an action. So if that's the case, you know, just
Monika Martin:sit down with yourself and just let yourself feel. Because when
Monika Martin:you let yourself feel the emotion will be released, and it
Monika Martin:will take maybe just a few minutes, and then you know it
Monika Martin:will be gone. But if we got fights, yeah, if you fight
Monika Martin:against it, it's going to be way harder. It's going to take much
Monika Martin:longer, and it's always going to come back at some point.
Saylor Cooper:It is it's always gonna come back so don't Five
Saylor Cooper:engines sitting in the mud, and I'll find that too. I just try
Saylor Cooper:and calm down and it all goes away eventually.
Tyler Evans:Oh, yeah. Yeah. So
Saylor Cooper:hello.
Monika Martin:Yes,
Saylor Cooper:yes. So you're still here. Okay. So I see you.
Saylor Cooper:I see you have a website here, and embodyyourflow.com, what's
Saylor Cooper:on that website.
Monika Martin:So it's my website, you can find my bio my
Monika Martin:services, you can also find I have created a free meditation
Monika Martin:for alignment and self empowerment, my podcasts as
Monika Martin:well. And, you know, just also my contacts if you want to
Monika Martin:contact me or follow me on social media.
Saylor Cooper:Oh, you get a free meditation as well. It's
Saylor Cooper:great.
Monika Martin:Yes, it's a guided meditation for alignment
Monika Martin:and self empowerment. And basically, it's kind of like a
Monika Martin:journey where you go, you know, talk to your heart, talk to your
Monika Martin:body, talk to your soul, talk to your mind. That's great.
Saylor Cooper:That's great. And so now you help others do the
Saylor Cooper:same thing. And so does all does your past your Baba use it? Are
Saylor Cooper:you free from that?
Monika Martin:No, I'm actually at peace with my past. I, you
Monika Martin:know, I have cut, I cut ties with my family for, you know,
Monika Martin:many years now. So I'm, I'm at peace with my past. Like, it
Monika Martin:doesn't bother me. And I am very much aware of what I went
Monika Martin:through. But I also know what I have overcome, which is way
Monika Martin:bigger. Like, it's actually a big achievement. And so it's
Monika Martin:something that actually matters most than what I went through.
Saylor Cooper:Exactly. And you've overcome so much. And
Saylor Cooper:because I've heard a lot of people, you know, who have had
Saylor Cooper:the past in their life. They don't overcome it, because they
Saylor Cooper:don't want to they use they'll get into drugs, alcohol, and I
Saylor Cooper:believe you had you stayed away from that, which I applaud you
Saylor Cooper:for.
Monika Martin:Yeah, so I am. Yeah. Because I, so any kind of
Monika Martin:addiction is like the root cause of any kind of addiction is
Monika Martin:trauma. Yeah. Because an addiction is a way for people to
Monika Martin:self soothe. So I didn't have that. I was never attracted,
Monika Martin:like, I don't drink alcohol. Like, I don't drink alcohol,
Monika Martin:like I don't have like, I don't like the taste of it. I've never
Monika Martin:wanted to take drugs, because I don't like and okay. And I don't
Monika Martin:I've never wanted to take drugs because I first of all wasn't
Monika Martin:interested. And second of all, I knew that I wouldn't be able to
Monika Martin:be in control of what would happen. Like I was, like, I
Monika Martin:didn't know what would happen after I take, you know, I take
Monika Martin:drugs. So. And I used to be also like, I had a trauma response,
Monika Martin:which was to be like a real control freak. I wanted to be in
Monika Martin:control of everything. So I that made me feel safe. So obviously
Monika Martin:drugs didn't make me feel safe at all. So I didn't want to try
Monika Martin:that. Because I had no control of the of the process.
Saylor Cooper:Exactly, you had no control. And so, as I
Saylor Cooper:understand that your trauma that you exposed to, you will never
Saylor Cooper:expose to addiction, which is why you're not addicted to
Saylor Cooper:anything.
Monika Martin:No. So what do you mean, why I've never been
Monika Martin:exposed to and so my parents were not addicts?
Saylor Cooper:They will. I was trying to get that your parents
Saylor Cooper:were not addicts. I see,
Monika Martin:No my. What's funny, though, is that my
Monika Martin:grandparents or my grandfather's on both sides were alcoholics.
Monika Martin:And so my father didn't want to drink because it didn't want to
Monika Martin:be like his father. However, my parents together didn't need to
Monika Martin:drink to be really abusive towards each other. So you know,
Monika Martin:it's kind of like what I said, you can get out of the toxic
Monika Martin:environment or you can try to do things differently. And I think
Monika Martin:for my parents, it was different because obviously, I guess we
Monika Martin:just didn't have the same level of awareness. Right. But yeah,
Monika Martin:they I guess he wanted to make things differently because he
Monika Martin:never drank like it didn't want to drink and we'd never had any
Monika Martin:kind of alcohol at home. But that didn't keep them from
Monika Martin:actually having the same kind of behaviours than their own
Monika Martin:parents. So yeah, I don't think that being around I makes makes
Monika Martin:makes you an addict. I think that it's more of the trauma,
Monika Martin:and how you respond to that
Saylor Cooper:trauma and how we respond to it. Yes, I see. I
Saylor Cooper:see. Oh, awesome as well. You're shining your light in the world,
Saylor Cooper:which is great. You're helping others live a life more
Saylor Cooper:imbalance.
Monika Martin:Yeah, I help people. I help people overcome a
Monika Martin:dark night of the soul. So yeah. And that's kind of like what I
Monika Martin:went through. To be honest, it was a long journey. And my you
Monika Martin:know, my mission, I guess I call it that way is to help you know,
Monika Martin:people get through the process more easily. And faster as well.
Monika Martin:Right.
Saylor Cooper:And so have you. Have you worked with people that
Saylor Cooper:have bipolar disorder and all those other No, not? Yeah, just
Saylor Cooper:know, people been through trauma like you.
Monika Martin:Like, my job is not really is not so much on
Monika Martin:trauma. It's more about helping people finding themselves,
Monika Martin:finding their happiness, finding their purpose and creating a
Monika Martin:life that they truly love. So alive. Yeah, with who they are.
Monika Martin:Exactly. At some point. You know, trauma, everyone has
Monika Martin:trauma anyways, whether it's neglect or abuse, it's trauma,
Monika Martin:there is still big T little t. So, you know, like, the blocks
Monika Martin:that we have, we have those blocks because of trauma. So,
Monika Martin:but I don't work specifically with people who have mental
Monika Martin:imbalances, such as bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia.
Monika Martin:That's not what I'm doing at the moment.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, you just help people live a life and
Saylor Cooper:balance I see. Yeah. Wonderful.
Monika Martin:Sum it up that way. Yeah. A life that is true
Monika Martin:to who they are. Yeah, I live in a society where there so much
Monika Martin:programming.
Saylor Cooper:You know,
Monika Martin:there's this connection to self.
Saylor Cooper:You do? You know, you should always be your true
Saylor Cooper:self. And don't always listen to others, you know?
Monika Martin:Yeah, it's about you know, finding yourself
Monika Martin:within yourself.
Saylor Cooper:Exactly. Finding yourself within yourself. Well.
Saylor Cooper:Do you have any future goals? And if so, like, what are they?
Monika Martin:Ah, do I have goals? Yes. On a professional,
Saylor Cooper:Personal and professional? Yeah, both.
Monika Martin:Okay, um, professional level, I would like
Monika Martin:at some point to create a course. Like an evergreen
Monika Martin:course, I would love to do that, though, the work that I do.
Monika Martin:Like, it really needs to be tailored, because it's like,
Monika Martin:each person is unique. But yeah, I've been thinking about
Monika Martin:creating a course that I could, you know, that I could provide
Monika Martin:to a lot of people. And personally. Yeah, I would like
Monika Martin:to move out of Switzerland. Yeah, I wouldn't. I mean, it's a
Monika Martin:brilliant country. It's, I mean, you know, during the pandemic,
Monika Martin:it was way it was better than other countries, especially in
Monika Martin:Europe. But yeah, like, my heart is somewhere else. And I just
Monika Martin:need to figure it out where
Saylor Cooper:I yeah, I think Did you create a course and sell
Saylor Cooper:it make money off of it to help others? That'd be fabulous.
Saylor Cooper:Because yeah, me and Tyler, we all goes on to have this podcast
Saylor Cooper:and inspire others. So that because that's what helped with
Saylor Cooper:our site is about right. Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. And, alright, so
Saylor Cooper:I don't believe I have anything else for you that Tyler, you
Saylor Cooper:have anything else for? Guest
Tyler Evans:Hmm. I think you covered a lot, a lot of ground.
Tyler Evans:Do you see in your personal life do you have? Do you have
Tyler Evans:children or anything or?
Monika Martin:I dont have children, I have three dogs
Monika Martin:though. But I don't have children. I've always wanted to
Monika Martin:have children. But I haven't found the right person yet. So
Monika Martin:I'm still looking there.
Saylor Cooper:Well, hopefully you will. Yeah. As to Yeah.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah. And so if nothing else, if you have any questions for us
Saylor Cooper:also, who knows? We will we would love to be on your podcast
Saylor Cooper:as well.
Monika Martin:So I'm actually working on season two of my
Monika Martin:podcast and it's all about love and relationships. So if you
Monika Martin:want to share about love and relationships So let me know.
Monika Martin:It's couples, you know, overcoming challenges and, you
Monika Martin:know, being stronger after.
Saylor Cooper:Yeah, I'll be happy. Okay, so to close out,
Saylor Cooper:first of all,
Monika Martin:thanks for being on the show was by having me it
Monika Martin:was a pleasure.
Saylor Cooper:What advice would you give to anybody who's
Saylor Cooper:struggling in life, especially someone who's been through
Saylor Cooper:trauma like you have, and doesn't see a way out.
Saylor Cooper:Unknown:
Monika Martin:So honestly, I guess I would tell them what I
Monika Martin:would tell myself if I could go back in time, I acknowledge a
Monika Martin:trauma, fine a coach, and work on regulating your dysregulated
Monika Martin:nervous system. And also one thing, like, you may never get
Monika Martin:the apology that you're looking for. But you don't need an
Monika Martin:apologise. You don't need an apology, and you don't need to
Monika Martin:forgive in order to move on and live your best life.
Saylor Cooper:No you don't know you don't.
Monika Martin:So that's what I would say. And you know, wish
Monika Martin:you the best because it's like, it's it was from your really
Monika Martin:tough journey. And you can like if the advice that I just gave
Monika Martin:can make someone's journey way easier, then, you know, my job
Monika Martin:is still on.
Saylor Cooper:There. You've made it. You've made it. All
Saylor Cooper:right. Well, thanks so much for being on the show.
Monika Martin:And thank you for having me
Saylor Cooper:Give it up for Monica Martin.
Monika Martin:Thank you.
Saylor Cooper:Yes, stay blessed everybody.
