Dec. 31, 2025

What Has Triggered Your Loved Ones' Behavior – Encore

What Has Triggered Your Loved Ones' Behavior – Encore

We’re revisiting this episode because its insights remain as powerful and relevant today as when it first aired.

In today's episode of the Truth, Lies, & Alzheimer's show, Lisa goes into depth about how effective communication is key to working with Alzheimer's disease and dementia sufferers. Probably the most difficult challenge for family members and caregivers to overcome is the ability to understand what people who are living with dementia are trying to tell them, especially when they can no longer articulate their wants and needs the way they did when their brains were healthy.

As the progression of the disease continues to worsen over time, so does the disconnect between us. This is the very reason why it is so important to learn to recognize what has triggered your loved one's behavior and what it is they are desperately trying to tell you. Lisa will share with you many tips and solutions about what you can expect and how to best respond to these occurrences.

In her "What's News" segment, Lisa shares a recent article that talks about how cognitive decline after retirement is a universal trend along with 4 ways to reverse it.

About the Host:

Author Lisa Skinner is a behavioral specialist with expertise in Alzheimer’s disease and related dementia. In her 30+year career working with family members and caregivers, Lisa has taught them how to successfully navigate the many challenges that accompany this heartbreaking disease. Lisa is both a Certified Dementia Practitioner and is also a certified dementia care trainer through the Alzheimer’s Association. She also holds a degree in Human Behavior.

Her latest book, “Truth, Lies & Alzheimer’s – Its Secret Faces” continues Lisa’s quest of working with dementia-related illnesses and teaching families and caregivers how to better understand the daunting challenges of brain disease. Her #1 Best-seller book “Not All Who Wander Need Be Lost,” was written at their urging. As someone who has had eight family members diagnosed with dementia, Lisa Skinner has found her calling in helping others through the struggle so they can have a better-quality relationship with their loved ones through education and through her workshops on counter-intuitive solutions and tools to help people effectively manage the symptoms of brain disease. Lisa Skinner has appeared on many national and regional media broadcasts. Lisa helps explain behaviors caused by dementia, encourages those who feel burdened, and gives practical advice for how to respond.

So many people today are heavily impacted by Alzheimer's disease and related dementia. The Alzheimer's Association and the World Health Organization have projected that the number of people who will develop Alzheimer's disease by the year 2050 worldwide will triple if a treatment or cure is not found. Society is not prepared to care for the projected increase of people who will develop this devastating disease. In her 30 years of working with family members and caregivers who suffer from dementia, Lisa has recognized how little people really understand the complexities of what living with this disease is really like. For Lisa, it starts with knowledge, education, and training.

Thanks for listening!

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Lisa Skinner: Hello to all of
you who have tuned in to listen

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to this episode of the truth
lies and Alzheimer's show. I am

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Lisa Skinner, your host, and I'd
like to shout out a very warm

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welcome to all of you who have
joined us today. Thank you so

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much for being here. There are
so many aspects of living with

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dementia that are unexpected and
can surface out of nowhere at

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any time. These are what I call
the hidden or secret faces of

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Alzheimer's disease, and as many
of you know, they show up

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unannounced are completely
unpredictable, and that is the

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reason why it's so important to
be prepared for anything that

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emerges on this journey. And to
be honest with you, I don't

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think there's much doubt that
what makes our relationships and

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caring for those who live with
Alzheimer's and related dementia

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so challenging is the disconnect
that occurs in our ability to

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communicate effectively with one
Another as the progression of

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disease worsens over time, it
clearly becomes more and more

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difficult to know what your
loved one is trying to tell you

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when they are no longer to able
to articulate their wants and

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needs to you. This is the very
reason why I cannot stress the

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importance of arming yourself
with an arsenal of tools and

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strategies so you can be as
prepared as possible when these

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situations arise. And just like
we can count on the sun rising

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each morning, you better be sure
we can count on these situations

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arising unexpectedly every day,
and I want to remind you,

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because I've said this before,
not every strategy works for

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each situation every time. So
the more tools you have

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collected in your toolbox, the
more options you will have to

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use to try to diffuse a
situation from escalating into a

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catastrophic reaction where it
can just really get out of

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control. So what I'm going to
share with you today are some

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triggers and responses to some
of the behaviors that occur as a

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result of this disconnect and
communication, they typically

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manifest as behaviors, and this
is really the way that the

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person you're caring for or your
loved one is trying to tell you

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that there is something
genuinely wrong. They are not

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trying to be difficult. They are
not trying to make your life

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hard. They are not trying to be
spiteful. They honestly can no

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longer tell you what is
bothering them so they will

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behave in a way to get your
attention, trying to relay a

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message to you. And these are
the things that you must learn

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to recognize. That is their way
of communicating with you. You

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learn to recognize the
behaviors, and then you're going

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to have to learn how to identify
what the trigger was for that

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particular behavior. So the tips
and the tools that I share with

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you, you want to just kind of
file them away or collect them

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in your toolbox, as I said. And
if one thing doesn't work, you

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can try another, and the more
tools you have to pull out and

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try, the better equipped you're
going to be for any circumstance

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that will arise. So
environmental issues can create

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behavioral problems in people
with dementia. Examples of

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environmental related issues are
sensory overload. So in other

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words, too much going on around
them, being around unfamiliar

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people, noise, lighting,
something that startles them,

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agitating behaviors of others in
the environment. People with

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dementia pick up other people's
moods and emotions, and they can

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mimic those emotions, and
that's. Other thing I wanted to

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mention, because people lose so
much of their cognitive skills,

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what it really comes down to, at
the end of the day, is

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everything that they are
reacting to is basically comes

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down to raw emotion, because
they no longer have the ability

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to reason things out or to think
things through. So these

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behaviors are raw emotion,
trying to tell you that they

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need or want something. Tasks
presented to a resident with or

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a person with dementia can
create these behavioral

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problems. Here are some of the
task related issues and

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solutions. So in terms of
issues, if a task is

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overwhelming to a person, that
can be a trigger, if they feel

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rushed, if it causes them to
become overstimulated if a task

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is too complicated, if they are
not able to focus on a given

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task, and if they have a poor
attention span. So here are some

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of the solutions to those
issues. Keep things simple, slow

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it down, stay calm and be
gentle. Take one step at a time,

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always make eye contact and
repeat instructions as needed.

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Communication can also
contribute to a person's

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behavioral challenges. Without
effective communication, the

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psychosocial quality of life of
the resident quickly

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deteriorates. Now communication
can be verbal, nonverbal, or

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both. Now verbal communication
is the words we use. Nonverbal

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communication are your actions,
your body language and your

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facial expressions, your tone of
voice, expression of emotion and

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your inflections are also
considered part of nonverbal

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communication. Effective
communication is the key to

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working with people with
dementia. So when communicating

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with people who have dementia,
it helps to face them directly,

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speak slowly, use their name

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and then wait for a response
from them. Don't rush. Repeat it

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if necessary. Use cueing or
modeling behaviors. Smile at

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them at all times, then they
will not absorb feeling a

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sternness coming from you or
that you're mad or upset with

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them, and then praise them
always and reassure them that

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everything is fine and they're
doing great now, according to

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the Alzheimer's Association,
there are three basic steps to

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assist in identifying common
behaviors and causes. Step one,

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identify and examine the
behavior. You should ask

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yourself the following
questions, what was the

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behavior? Was it harmful to the
individual or to others? What

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happened just before the
behavior occurred? Did something

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or someone trigger that
behavior? Other questions you

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may consider in order to examine
the behavior include what

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happened immediately after the
behavior occurred. How did you

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react? The Alzheimer's
Association suggests that you

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should consult your loved one's
physician to identify any causes

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related to medications or an
illness that may be developing.

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So step two is explore potential
solutions. The Alzheimer's

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Association also recommends
identifying the needs of the

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person with dementia and
evaluate if these needs are

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being met. So some of the
questions you may consider in

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your exploration is, Can
adapting the surroundings

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comfort the person? How can you
change your reaction or your

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approach to the behavior? Are
you responding in. Calm and

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supportive way. It is very
important to keep in mind that

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the person with dementia may be
using these behaviors to

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communicate his or her needs in
the only way he or she knows

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how. This is why you as a care
provider or a family member,

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need to be cautious of your
response. It can make all the

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difference in the world. Step
three, try different responses.

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Again, once you attempt new
responses, you should evaluate,

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did your new response help in
this situation, the Alzheimer's

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Association asks, Do you need to
explore other potential causes

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and solutions? If so, what can
you do differently? There are

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many, many resources you can use
to discover positive solutions

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to challenging behaviors. And I
want to also remind you again

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that if your response works at
that time for that given

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situation, and then the same
thing happens again and you try

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that same response, it may not
work this next time. So the more

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responses you have to pull out
of your toolbox, the more

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chances you will have of
diffusing the situation. So

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below, I mean, what I'm going to
share with you now is a list of

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what we call 13 R's, what is
called a solution focused model.

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And the solution focused model
focuses on what you can do right

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now to change the person's
behavior, rather than focusing

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on the problem that made the
person display a difficult

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behavior. Now this approach does
not focus on the past, but

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instead focuses on the present
and the future. The 13 R's are

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number one, remain calm your
voice and your body language.

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Number two, remove the trigger.
You want to eliminate the source

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of agitation, but you have to
figure out what that source of

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agitation is. First, not an easy
task. Number three, redirect the

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person, so guide them to another
task. Number four, reassure them

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by making positive statements.
Number five, Repeat if

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necessary. Number six, revise
present, one step at a time.

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Number seven, respond, which is
listening and paraphrasing their

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words. Number eight, reference,
validate their point of view.

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Number nine, remind, always
encourage reminiscing and

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praising past accomplishments
number 10 reflection, which is

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physically acknowledging
communication. In other words,

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one example would be by nodding
your head to them. Number 11 is

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reinforced. You can do this by
praising positive behaviors

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number 12 reporting incidents,
and what they mean by that is,

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write down, keep a journal of
things that trigger behaviors so

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you will have a reference to
look for in the future, and then

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13 reevaluate, establish the
root cause and assess it for

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controlling the situation. So
next, I'm going to share with

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you some very specific
behavioral responses that you

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may see in people with dementia,
each type of behavior you may

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observe, followed by some
suggestions that you can do to

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help minimize the undesired
behavior when a loved one

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displays anger or agitation.
Here's some tips, do not express

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impatience. Maintain calmness,
smile and reassure. Speak slowly

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and offer comfort. Redirect.
Attached to a quiet area, engage

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with them in a favorite past
time, offer a favorite food or

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beverage and whisper. When the
person becomes aggressive, it

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can help to again remain calm
while you approach them, get

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help, if necessary, use what's
called change of faith

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technique, and what that means
is you get a different person to

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come in and see if that will
make a difference, to diffuse

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the behavior, again, called
change of face. Attempt to

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redirect the person, and when
you do, redirect them to a safe

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area, for example, their room or
a quiet area. Provide a

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distraction. You can use a known
interest to distract them when a

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person with dementia is anxious.
It also helps to identify the

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trigger and time of the
occurrence. It's helpful to keep

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a journal of these things and
reinforce positive behaviors,

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help the resident, help the
person with dementia, reduce

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anxiety, encourage viewing
family photos for discussion,

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that's a great distraction, Keep
them busy and use relaxation

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methods. One of the really
effective ones is give them a

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hand massage. They love that,
and it's very calming. Now, here

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are some things you can do when
the person has increased

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behaviors in the late afternoon
and evening, often referred to

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as sundowning. Prepare for
raised anxiety, turn lights on

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ahead of time. Minimize their
distractions, remove any

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clutter, provide a safe place
for them to rummage. Offer

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favorite items of interest.
Offer snacks and drinks and play

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soft music in the background.
That is very effective.

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When a person is disruptive, you
may seek their attention,

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approach them in a friendly
manner, redirect them to a

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private area, if possible,
inform them of a change in

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routine, encourage an
independent activity, involve

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them in any plans, If possible,
and help them gain their coping

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skills. Here are some things you
can do to help with sleep

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problems. Monitor their sleep
patterns, determine cause such

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as hunger or discomfort, provide
daily exercise, establish

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routine napping, if necessary,
remind them that it's their

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bedtime. Provide security items
such as a favorite picture or

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stuffed animal. Create rituals
such as hand massages, drink,

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prayer, beds, etc, and wind down
activity participation after

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dinner. Unless requiring
exercise, it's always best to do

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more stimulating activities
earlier in the day and wind down

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as the day progresses, on supply
night lights, if they're

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preferred, and reassure them
that you will check on them

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throughout the night. Now, tips
for handling agitation include

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address any chaos in the
environment by reducing noise

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levels and the number of other
people, avoid moving household

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objects around whenever
possible. Familiar object

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located in the same places
provides them with a sense of

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security. Change the immediate
environment. When the person

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with dementia becomes agitated
again, play soothing music. It's

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magical. It's powerful. Safety
proof the environment to allow

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for as much autonomy as possible
with the least number of hazards

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handling communication problems
include giving reassurance. Is

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trying to use a touch if verbal
support isn't working. Again,

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limiting outside distractions.
Turn off radios and television.

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Listen for the meaning of the
feelings behind their words.

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Speak clearly and loud enough to
be heard, and then, of course,

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use nonverbal means of
communication, such as body

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language, facial expressions and
touch. Many people with dementia

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have ongoing communication
problems. This is going to

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include forgetting words using
repetitive phrases and other

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things that you will notice now
how to handle delusions,

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hallucinations and paranoia,
along with Anxiety, delusions,

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hallucinations and paranoia are
extremely common behavioral

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issues in people with dementia,
and they may occur as a result

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of changes in physical health of
the brain. So some tips for

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handling delusions,
hallucination and paranoia

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include probably the most
important thing is avoid arguing

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or trying to impose a sense of
truth or reality into the person

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with dementia. Why it absolutely
does not work. Don't feel the

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need to play into the lie. You
can be honest while still

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providing dignity and respect,
and then reassure that person by

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saying things like, I am so
sorry. You are getting upset by

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this. Let me see if I can help
and then redirect the person

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with dementia to divert their
attention to something more

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appropriate tips for handling
sleeplessness and sundowning. So

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insomnia and sleeplessness also
known as sundowning, are again

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common behaviors in people with
dementia. They occur due to a

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combination of factors and can
be worsened by exhaust, by being

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exhausted after a day's events.
So some tips on handling

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sleeplessness and sundowning
include avoid giving your loved

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one alcohol, caffeine or sugar,
considering hiring help at night

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so you as a caregiver can get
enough sleep without having to

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leave your loved one with
dementia unattended. Discourage

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napping during the daytime, talk
to a healthcare provider about

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natural sleep induced medication
such as melatonin, and turn the

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lights on and close the curtains
well before sunset to eliminate

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confusion about the time,
particularly in the winter

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months. And then the last tip I
have for you today is how to

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handle wandering. It's not
always easy to find out why a

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person with dementia is
wandering, but caregivers can

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use these insights to help them
more effectively deal with that

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problem. You can add child safe
plastic covers to doorknobs. You

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can consider having them carry a
GPS tracking device, always have

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a current photo on file, just in
case the person with dementia

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goes missing, register them with
the safe and sound program in

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your local area. Install door
alarms and set them to go off if

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the door is opened, and finally,
install locks that require a

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key, keeping safety issues in
mind for all people in the home.

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So those are hopefully some very
helpful and valuable tips for

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you to consider while
encountering some of these

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challenging behaviors that will
occur. So in my segment, what's

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news, I want to share with you
an article that I stumbled upon.

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It was in Fortune, well
presented by CVS Health, and the

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title of the article is called
cognitive decline after

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retirement is a universal trend.
Here are four ways to reverse

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it. The article was written by
Aaron Prater, and it was

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published on May 19, 2023 so.

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And this is what the article
tells us now. It was authored by

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researchers at the University of
Cologne in Germany and the

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University of California San
Francisco. The researchers

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interviewed nearly 9000 European
retirees, ages 50 and older,

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from 17 countries each completed
six memory assessments over the

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course of 13 years. Their
findings retirement was

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generally associated with a
moderate decrease in Word recall

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and memory decline accelerated
after retirement. This was true

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in all countries involved, even
in those with more generous

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welfare systems and higher
pension benefits, like Germany,

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Austria, France and Belgium,
versus those with low public

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pensions, like Portugal, Greece,
Israel, Estonia, Poland and

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Slovenia. The study showed that
postponing retirement can

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protect against cognitive
decline, especially among the

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more highly educated. But let's
face it, the article says life

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is short for those who can and
wish to retire on time, here are

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four tips for staying mentally
sharp during what should be the

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most joyous season of your life.
So keep or get connected. A

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quarter of Americans age 65 and
older, are socially isolated.

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According to a 2020 report from
the National Academies of

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00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:50,440
Sciences, Engineering and
medicine, while loneliness is

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00:26:50,620 --> 00:26:58,480
miserable, it's also more, it's
also more, it poses a health

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00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:04,080
risk as deadly as smoking a
dozen cigarettes a day the US

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00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:09,300
Surgeon General, Dr Vivek Murthy
recently told attendees of

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00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:13,620
Fortune's brainstorm health
conference, retirement often

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00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:18,360
means loss of the community you
worked in perhaps for decades.

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So keep connected to others by
taking classes, volunteering,

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00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:28,820
hanging out with friends, or
picking up a sport. The second

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00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:35,480
recommended advice is to keep
active. It's never too late to

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begin an exercise routine, even
if you didn't do it in pre

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retirement, or if you fell off
the wagon at same point, get up

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and get going again. The third
one, keep your stress to a

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minimum. There are many, many
ways to keep stress at bay. A

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00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:03,540
few of them are get a good
quality sleep and do your best

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not to introduce any new
stressors in your life. And then

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finally, keep working. Ideally,
you're in a situation where you

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you might not have the financial
need for a typical nine to five

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00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:24,740
day like you did when you were
working, free retirement, but

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00:28:24,980 --> 00:28:29,000
you have just as much to
contribute to society as the day

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00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:34,880
before you retired. If it brings
you joy, consider volunteering

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00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:39,680
contract work or a part time job
in the field you love.

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00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:44,920
Regardless of pay, you'll reap
the benefits of connectedness

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00:28:44,980 --> 00:28:49,120
and cognitive acuity and
typically accompanying work,

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hopefully without all the
stress. So I think that's some

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pretty good advice. I have known
a lot of people who have retired

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and then just seem to
cognitively decline within years

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00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,660
of retiring. So I think this is
some really sound advice to

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00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:12,060
follow for those of you who want
to stay sharp even in your

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00:29:12,060 --> 00:29:19,560
retirement years. So that's what
I have for you today. I want to

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00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:24,320
thank you again for listening.
We always have so much to cover

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in our current episode and
upcoming episodes. And as you

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00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,980
know, I really it's so important
for me to provide you with

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00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:38,360
information that you will find
helpful and valuable throughout

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00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:44,140
this journey. Remember, and I
can't emphasize this enough,

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00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:51,280
dementia awareness occurs every
day. The kindness is the ability

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00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,960
to speak with love, listen with
compassion and act with

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00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:01,260
patience. These are all very
necessary. Attributes to have in

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00:30:01,260 --> 00:30:07,380
order to outlast Alzheimer's
disease. This show is all about

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00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:13,740
you and how my experiences,
expertise and strategies can

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00:30:13,740 --> 00:30:17,940
help you and your loved one have
an easier time while struggling

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00:30:17,940 --> 00:30:23,240
through this disease. I know how
difficult it is, therefore I

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00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,780
would love it if you would send
me your comments and suggestions

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00:30:26,780 --> 00:30:31,460
on what topics you'd like me to
cover on this weekly show. I

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00:30:31,460 --> 00:30:34,220
genuinely look forward to
receiving your thoughts and

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00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:39,320
ideas, and in the meantime, take
care of you, talk to y'all next

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00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:39,800
week.