Jan. 7, 2026
How To Talk To Your Kids About Alzheimer’s Disease – Encore
We’re revisiting this episode because its insights remain as powerful and relevant today as when it first aired.
In today’s episode, Lisa discusses talking to your children about Alzheiemer’s disease. Many of the highlights of this episode include:
- Tips on how to approach the topic effectively.
- How to best prepare your child to visit a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease.
- Talk to them about what they might experience when visiting a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease.
- Specific examples of what to say to your child to help them better cope.
- Resources available to help your child process a better understanding of Alzheimer’s disease.
And, much, much, more…don’t miss this informative episode!
About the Host:
Author Lisa Skinner is a behavioral specialist with expertise in Alzheimer’s disease and related dementia. In her 30+year career working with family members and caregivers, Lisa has taught them how to successfully navigate the many challenges that accompany this heartbreaking disease. Lisa is both a Certified Dementia Practitioner and is also a certified dementia care trainer through the Alzheimer’s Association. She also holds a degree in Human Behavior.
Her latest book, “Truth, Lies & Alzheimer’s – Its Secret Faces” continues Lisa’s quest of working with dementia-related illnesses and teaching families and caregivers how to better understand the daunting challenges of brain disease. Her #1 Best-seller book “Not All Who Wander Need Be Lost,” was written at their urging. As someone who has had eight family members diagnosed with dementia, Lisa Skinner has found her calling in helping others through the struggle so they can have a better-quality relationship with their loved ones through education and through her workshops on counter-intuitive solutions and tools to help people effectively manage the symptoms of brain disease. Lisa Skinner has appeared on many national and regional media broadcasts. Lisa helps explain behaviors caused by dementia, encourages those who feel burdened, and gives practical advice for how to respond.
So many people today are heavily impacted by Alzheimer's disease and related dementia. The Alzheimer's Association and the World Health Organization have projected that the number of people who will develop Alzheimer's disease by the year 2050 worldwide will triple if a treatment or cure is not found. Society is not prepared to care for the projected increase of people who will develop this devastating disease. In her 30 years of working with family members and caregivers who suffer from dementia, Lisa has recognized how little people really understand the complexities of what living with this disease is really like. For Lisa, it starts with knowledge, education, and training.
Thanks for listening!
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!
Subscribe to the podcast
If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
Leave us an Apple Podcasts review
Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.
1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,260
Lisa Skinner: Welcome back to
another brand new episode of the
2
00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:09,540
truth lies and Alzheimer's show.
I'm Lisa Skinner, your host, and
3
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:16,140
today I want to talk about a
very important subject, and
4
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:20,960
this, to me, is something that
all families should take into
5
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:26,120
consideration when they have
small children, adolescent
6
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:31,940
children, even teenagers, and
they are experiencing a loved
7
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,280
one, like a grandparent who is
living with Alzheimer's disease
8
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:42,460
or related dementia. And the
reason why this has become an
9
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:50,260
important topic to me is because
in the 30 years that I have been
10
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:56,020
helping families navigate the
heartbreaking challenges of
11
00:00:56,020 --> 00:01:01,620
living with Alzheimer's disease
or related dementia, I have
12
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:09,780
heard over and over and over
again from adult children that
13
00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:14,520
when they were little, and I'm
talking about young children to
14
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:22,280
adolescent age to teenage, that
they remember having a
15
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:27,440
grandparent who was living with
Alzheimer's disease dementia,
16
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:35,720
and it freaked them out, and
they're still carrying this with
17
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:41,680
them into their adulthood,
because it was such a scary or
18
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:47,860
an intimidating experience for
them to see a grandparent who
19
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:53,560
was talking about things that
didn't make sense and displaying
20
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,400
behaviors that they didn't
understand. And you know, I can
21
00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,680
really relate to that, because
you all know my story dating
22
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:06,660
back 50 years when I went to
visit my grandmother and she
23
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,440
starts telling me about birds
living in her mattress that come
24
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,160
out at night and peck her face.
And I'm sitting there just
25
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,120
flabbergasted that my sweet
little grandmother is telling me
26
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:26,600
these preposterous stories. And
as it turns out, a lot of adult
27
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:31,160
children that I've talked to in
the last 30 years tell me they
28
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:36,620
were kind of traumatized by
visiting a grandparent
29
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:42,880
experiencing their dementia, but
nobody ever explained anything
30
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:49,000
to them. Nobody ever gave them a
warning about it. When they went
31
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:54,820
to visit. They just the parents
just took them there, and this
32
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:58,000
was not the grandparent that
they were expecting to be
33
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:03,360
visiting. So I thought it would
be really important for me to
34
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,680
share with you some
recommendations and tips and
35
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:14,700
advice on how to talk to your
children if you do have a family
36
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,060
member who is living with
Alzheimer's disease or related
37
00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:23,600
dementia, and some of the
appropriate and and positive
38
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,100
ways to approach the subject.
But the point being, and I
39
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:33,920
emphasize this strongly, the
point being, is prepare them for
40
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:39,200
it. It shouldn't come out of
left field that, oh, we're going
41
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:43,240
to go visit grandma at the
memory care unit, and they don't
42
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,940
even know what a memory care
unit is. And you go there, and
43
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:49,840
they have no idea that their
grandma has this, has
44
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,900
Alzheimer's disease. And then
they see all these, you know,
45
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:58,240
peculiar things that might, you
know, really leave a mark on
46
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:05,580
them. So here are some examples
of how you can implement talking
47
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:11,100
to children about Alzheimer's
disease. And again, the ages are
48
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:16,320
going to vary, so you need to
adapt your approach to be age
49
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:22,100
appropriate depending on the age
of the child. So number one is,
50
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:27,320
you want to use age appropriate
language. For a young child, you
51
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:32,900
might say something like,
grandma's brain is sick and it
52
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:37,700
makes her forget things.
Sometimes, for an older child,
53
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,920
you can adjust that to say,
Alzheimer's is a disease that
54
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,900
affects the brain and causes
memory loss and confusion. And
55
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:51,100
then you might also use other
specific examples, like so,
56
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:56,920
because grandma's brain is sick,
she also might talk about things
57
00:04:56,980 --> 00:05:01,200
that to you are not going to
make sense. Sense, but they
58
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:07,800
definitely make sense to her, so
just accept what she's saying,
59
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:14,820
because it has to do with the
changing brain that's happening
60
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:20,340
to her right now, something like
that. Number two, be honest,
61
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:25,220
Grandpa has Alzheimer's disease,
which is a condition that
62
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:30,860
affects his memory and his
thinking abilities. Explain the
63
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:35,900
basics to them use a simple
analogy, like comparing the
64
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:41,620
brain to a computer that isn't
working properly anymore. This
65
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:46,840
might sound a little odd, but
you want to emphasize to your
66
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:51,520
children that it's not
contagious, because kids have
67
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,720
wild imaginations, and they know
they catch germs when they're at
68
00:05:55,720 --> 00:06:00,100
school and places like that. So
even though that sounds a little
69
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:04,920
odd and peculiar. Just reassure
them that Alzheimer's disease is
70
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:11,400
not like a cold or the flu. You
cannot catch it from grandma. By
71
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:18,600
all means, encourage them to ask
questions. Here's an example. Do
72
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:22,340
you have any questions about
what Alzheimer's disease is or
73
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:28,580
how it's affecting grandma, and
let them ask you whatever is on
74
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:34,280
their minds. Discuss the changes
in behavior that we see with
75
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,660
Alzheimer's disease, and you
might say something to the
76
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:44,620
effect of sometimes grandma may
repeat things or get confused.
77
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:50,800
Is it because of her illness and
not because she doesn't love us?
78
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:57,100
It's also important to highlight
ways that we can support our
79
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,680
grandparents or our loved ones,
by saying something to the
80
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,600
effect of, you know, we can help
Grandma by being patient, by
81
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,500
spending time with her and
showing her love and
82
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:15,060
understanding, and then, of
course, validate their feelings.
83
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,900
It's okay to feel sad or
confused about grandma's
84
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:24,080
illness. I feel that way
sometimes too you can offer your
85
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:29,300
children resources by providing
a children's book about
86
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,440
Alzheimer's disease or showing
them a video that explains the
87
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:39,920
condition in a way that they can
understand or relate to. You can
88
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,540
seek professional help if
needed, if you ever feel
89
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:47,680
overwhelmed or have a lot of
questions about grandma's
90
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:52,300
Alzheimer's disease, we can talk
to a counselor together to help
91
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:58,060
us understand and cope with it
better. By using these specific
92
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:03,420
examples, you can have a more
effective and supportive
93
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:08,220
conversation with children about
Alzheimer's disease, and of
94
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:13,380
course, again, remember to adapt
your approach based on their
95
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:20,160
age, their understanding and
their emotional needs. Another
96
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:25,280
approach is to use storytelling,
create a simple story or
97
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:30,740
narrative to explain Alzheimer's
disease to your children. You
98
00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:34,580
can use characters or scenarios
that they can relate to in order
99
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,120
to make the concept more
understandable and relatable.
100
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:42,580
You can involve them in
caregiving, depending on their
101
00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:47,500
age and maturity level, involve
them in simple caregiving tasks
102
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:51,280
for the loved one with
Alzheimer's. This can help them
103
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,540
feel like they are contributing
and also understand the
104
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:59,500
challenges that their loved one
may be facing on a day to day
105
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:04,260
basis. Have them you know,
interact with them in an
106
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:09,480
activity or something like that.
Encourage empathy and
107
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:15,780
compassion. Teach your children
about empathy and compassion
108
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:19,260
towards individuals with
Alzheimer's. Help them
109
00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,340
understand that their loved one
may actually
110
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:29,420
may act differently due to the
disease, and that patience and
111
00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:34,160
kindness are important when
interacting with them, maintain
112
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:39,380
routines and open communication
Because children may feel more
113
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:44,020
secure when routines are
maintained. Doesn't that sound
114
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:47,920
familiar? We emphasize that
people living with Alzheimer's
115
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,420
disease, people feel safe and
secure in routines and
116
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:58,180
familiarity, and this includes
as the loved one's condition
117
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:03,540
progresses in. Encourage open
communication about any changes
118
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:09,900
or challenges that arise due to
Alzheimer's. You can also
119
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:15,600
address misconceptions and
stigmas, and believe me, there
120
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,740
are a lot of them still
circulating around there. When
121
00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:24,260
it comes to Alzheimer's disease,
discuss any misconceptions or
122
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:27,380
stigmas surrounding Alzheimer's
that the child may have picked
123
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:32,960
up from others, educate them
about the facts and help them
124
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:38,420
develop a positive and
understanding attitude towards
125
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:42,580
the condition. Provide
opportunities for expression,
126
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,780
encourage children to express
their feelings through art,
127
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:52,060
through journaling or other
creative outlets. This can help
128
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:56,800
them process their emotions and
cope with the changes that come
129
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:03,060
with Alzheimer's disease and
celebrate memories. That's what
130
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:07,020
they're going to take with them
the rest of their lives are the
131
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:12,360
memories that they formed when
they were younger and their
132
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:17,400
grandparents were healthy. So
encourage children to share and
133
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,960
celebrate memories of the loved
one who's now living with
134
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:25,760
Alzheimer's disease, reminiscing
about happy times can be a
135
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:30,440
positive way to connect with the
person and maintain a sense of
136
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:35,660
connection. That's what I carry
with me with my grandmother,
137
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:41,200
yeah, the the day that I visited
her, that, you know, rats were
138
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:46,780
invading her home and birds peck
at her face. That was not the
139
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:51,700
grandmother I grew up with, and
I knew something was wrong, but
140
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:58,840
the memories that I carry with
me in my head and my heart are
141
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:06,540
the ones of us baking cookies
together and laughing and and
142
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:12,120
helping her cater her parties
and doing things like that. And
143
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:18,120
that's the grandma I choose to
remember. Keep an eye on how the
144
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:24,200
child is coping with the
situation and be prepared to
145
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,860
adjust your approach as needed.
Children may have ongoing
146
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:32,240
questions or concerns, so be
ready to address them as they
147
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,620
arise, especially if you're
visiting fairly regularly,
148
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:40,600
because you know that this is a
progressive illness, and their
149
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:48,760
cognitive abilities will
continue to decline. Encourage
150
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,900
patience and understanding.
Emphasize the importance of
151
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:57,520
patience and understanding when
interacting with the loved one
152
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:01,680
with dementia, explain to the
child that their loved one may
153
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:07,740
need extra time or assistance
with tasks due to their
154
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:14,220
condition, be their role model.
If they see positive
155
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:20,580
interactions coming from you,
it'll help them understand
156
00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:26,180
having positive interactions
with themselves. Explain to
157
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,900
children that changes in
behavior such as forgetfulness,
158
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:36,440
repetition or Mood swings are
part of Alzheimer's disease, and
159
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,260
you can help them understand
that these changes are not
160
00:13:39,260 --> 00:13:43,240
intentional, and that their
loved one still cares for them
161
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:50,020
and try to maintain a sense of
normalcy. While Alzheimer's
162
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:54,940
disease can bring changes to
family dynamics, try to maintain
163
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:59,500
a sense of normalcy in the
child's daily life as much as
164
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:04,800
possible, consistency and
routine can provide a sense of
165
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:10,080
stability for children during
challenging times and educate
166
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,040
them about the progression of
the disease, depending on the
167
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:19,860
age of the child and their
understanding of what the
168
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:24,740
disease is doing to their loved
one. Provide information about
169
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:29,240
how the disease progresses over
time. Help them understand that
170
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:33,200
the loved one's condition may
change, and their support and
171
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:38,480
love remain important. Encourage
open discussions about
172
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,420
Alzheimer's disease within your
family, involving other family
173
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:48,400
members in the conversation can
positively provide additional
174
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,900
support for both the child and
the loved one with Alzheimer's.
175
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:58,540
I like to celebrate small
victories, acknowledge and
176
00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:01,680
celebrate small achievement.
Segments or meaningful moments
177
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,040
with your loved one who has
Alzheimer's disease, and
178
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,300
encourage children to focus on
positive interactions and
179
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:15,600
memories to maintain a sense of
connection and joy. So I'm
180
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:21,980
hoping that this will start to
change people's paradigm about
181
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:28,400
Alzheimer's disease. For
decades, nobody talked about it.
182
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,960
We all just our families just
wanted to hide their heads in
183
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,680
the sand. I think I remember
telling you that after that
184
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,600
visit that I had with my
grandmother, and she told me all
185
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,200
these, you know, preposterous
stories. And I went home and I
186
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:49,180
asked my mother, what's wrong
with grandma? And she said, Oh,
187
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:52,780
Grandma has been diagnosed with
senile dementia. That's what
188
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:56,260
they called it back then. I
said, Mom, I just went to visit
189
00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:58,960
her, and she's telling me all
these outrageous stories. Why
190
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,820
didn't you say something, why
didn't you prepare me for it?
191
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:09,000
And her answer to me was because
we don't talk about those
192
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,260
things. And I'm telling you
this, I'm sharing this with you
193
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:19,200
because I can't tell you how
many adult children that I have
194
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,940
worked with over the last three
decades, who have told me
195
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:28,460
exactly the same thing, we need
to change this and be open about
196
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:32,720
it, pull our heads out of the
Sands, because I'm hoping in 30
197
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:36,200
years, I don't know if I'll
still be around, but if I am,
198
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:41,260
and I'm helping, still Helping
Families, I want to hear from
199
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:46,180
those adult children how
wonderful their experience was
200
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:50,440
visiting their grandparents in
spite of their Alzheimer's
201
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:55,840
disease, because our family was
very open and honest about it,
202
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:02,520
and prepared us For what to
expect when we went to visit,
203
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:08,400
I'm hoping we could start to see
a lot more of that attitude
204
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:16,260
change. With regard to this
disease, it's very slow. I have
205
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:21,620
not seen things change that
dramatically since the day I
206
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:27,140
visited my grandmother that was
going back about 50 years, I'm
207
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:31,580
starting to see a little bit of
progress in that department,
208
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:36,500
just since covid, but we're not
nearly where we need to be. So
209
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,340
that's why I wanted to talk
about this with everybody today.
210
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:45,820
Please, please talk to your
children about Alzheimer's
211
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:51,340
disease. If you do have that
happening in your family circle,
212
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:56,440
they'll thank you for it later,
instead of hearing, oh my gosh,
213
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:01,560
I was so traumatized by visiting
my grandparent who lived with
214
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:05,940
Alzheimer's disease and and, you
know, it just freaked me out.
215
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:13,500
We're so far beyond that stage
in our existence. So anyway, I
216
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:19,200
hope this has given you
something to think about, and
217
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,820
you know, there are a lot of
resources out there to help
218
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:27,680
children better understand this
disease. It's not going away, so
219
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:32,000
a lot of us are going to be
dealing with the this in our in
220
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,960
our family circles and our
family dynamics. So anyway,
221
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,500
that's what I have planned for
you today. I hope this has been
222
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:44,020
really helpful, and I'll be back
next week with another brand new
223
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:47,980
episode of the truth, lies and
Alzheimer's show. Again. I'm
224
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:52,780
Lisa Skinner, your host, and I
hope you all have a marvelous,
225
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:58,420
fantastic week. Hope to see you
back here again next week. Bye,
226
00:18:58,420 --> 00:18:59,320
Bye, for now.
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,260
Lisa Skinner: Welcome back to
another brand new episode of the
2
00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:09,540
truth lies and Alzheimer's show.
I'm Lisa Skinner, your host, and
3
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:16,140
today I want to talk about a
very important subject, and
4
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:20,960
this, to me, is something that
all families should take into
5
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:26,120
consideration when they have
small children, adolescent
6
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:31,940
children, even teenagers, and
they are experiencing a loved
7
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,280
one, like a grandparent who is
living with Alzheimer's disease
8
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:42,460
or related dementia. And the
reason why this has become an
9
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:50,260
important topic to me is because
in the 30 years that I have been
10
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:56,020
helping families navigate the
heartbreaking challenges of
11
00:00:56,020 --> 00:01:01,620
living with Alzheimer's disease
or related dementia, I have
12
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:09,780
heard over and over and over
again from adult children that
13
00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:14,520
when they were little, and I'm
talking about young children to
14
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:22,280
adolescent age to teenage, that
they remember having a
15
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:27,440
grandparent who was living with
Alzheimer's disease dementia,
16
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:35,720
and it freaked them out, and
they're still carrying this with
17
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:41,680
them into their adulthood,
because it was such a scary or
18
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:47,860
an intimidating experience for
them to see a grandparent who
19
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:53,560
was talking about things that
didn't make sense and displaying
20
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,400
behaviors that they didn't
understand. And you know, I can
21
00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,680
really relate to that, because
you all know my story dating
22
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:06,660
back 50 years when I went to
visit my grandmother and she
23
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,440
starts telling me about birds
living in her mattress that come
24
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,160
out at night and peck her face.
And I'm sitting there just
25
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,120
flabbergasted that my sweet
little grandmother is telling me
26
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:26,600
these preposterous stories. And
as it turns out, a lot of adult
27
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:31,160
children that I've talked to in
the last 30 years tell me they
28
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:36,620
were kind of traumatized by
visiting a grandparent
29
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:42,880
experiencing their dementia, but
nobody ever explained anything
30
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:49,000
to them. Nobody ever gave them a
warning about it. When they went
31
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:54,820
to visit. They just the parents
just took them there, and this
32
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:58,000
was not the grandparent that
they were expecting to be
33
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:03,360
visiting. So I thought it would
be really important for me to
34
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,680
share with you some
recommendations and tips and
35
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:14,700
advice on how to talk to your
children if you do have a family
36
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,060
member who is living with
Alzheimer's disease or related
37
00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:23,600
dementia, and some of the
appropriate and and positive
38
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,100
ways to approach the subject.
But the point being, and I
39
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:33,920
emphasize this strongly, the
point being, is prepare them for
40
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:39,200
it. It shouldn't come out of
left field that, oh, we're going
41
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:43,240
to go visit grandma at the
memory care unit, and they don't
42
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,940
even know what a memory care
unit is. And you go there, and
43
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:49,840
they have no idea that their
grandma has this, has
44
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,900
Alzheimer's disease. And then
they see all these, you know,
45
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:58,240
peculiar things that might, you
know, really leave a mark on
46
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:05,580
them. So here are some examples
of how you can implement talking
47
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:11,100
to children about Alzheimer's
disease. And again, the ages are
48
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:16,320
going to vary, so you need to
adapt your approach to be age
49
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:22,100
appropriate depending on the age
of the child. So number one is,
50
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:27,320
you want to use age appropriate
language. For a young child, you
51
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:32,900
might say something like,
grandma's brain is sick and it
52
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:37,700
makes her forget things.
Sometimes, for an older child,
53
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,920
you can adjust that to say,
Alzheimer's is a disease that
54
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,900
affects the brain and causes
memory loss and confusion. And
55
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:51,100
then you might also use other
specific examples, like so,
56
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:56,920
because grandma's brain is sick,
she also might talk about things
57
00:04:56,980 --> 00:05:01,200
that to you are not going to
make sense. Sense, but they
58
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:07,800
definitely make sense to her, so
just accept what she's saying,
59
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:14,820
because it has to do with the
changing brain that's happening
60
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:20,340
to her right now, something like
that. Number two, be honest,
61
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:25,220
Grandpa has Alzheimer's disease,
which is a condition that
62
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:30,860
affects his memory and his
thinking abilities. Explain the
63
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:35,900
basics to them use a simple
analogy, like comparing the
64
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:41,620
brain to a computer that isn't
working properly anymore. This
65
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:46,840
might sound a little odd, but
you want to emphasize to your
66
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:51,520
children that it's not
contagious, because kids have
67
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,720
wild imaginations, and they know
they catch germs when they're at
68
00:05:55,720 --> 00:06:00,100
school and places like that. So
even though that sounds a little
69
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:04,920
odd and peculiar. Just reassure
them that Alzheimer's disease is
70
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:11,400
not like a cold or the flu. You
cannot catch it from grandma. By
71
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:18,600
all means, encourage them to ask
questions. Here's an example. Do
72
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:22,340
you have any questions about
what Alzheimer's disease is or
73
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:28,580
how it's affecting grandma, and
let them ask you whatever is on
74
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:34,280
their minds. Discuss the changes
in behavior that we see with
75
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,660
Alzheimer's disease, and you
might say something to the
76
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:44,620
effect of sometimes grandma may
repeat things or get confused.
77
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:50,800
Is it because of her illness and
not because she doesn't love us?
78
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:57,100
It's also important to highlight
ways that we can support our
79
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,680
grandparents or our loved ones,
by saying something to the
80
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,600
effect of, you know, we can help
Grandma by being patient, by
81
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,500
spending time with her and
showing her love and
82
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:15,060
understanding, and then, of
course, validate their feelings.
83
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,900
It's okay to feel sad or
confused about grandma's
84
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:24,080
illness. I feel that way
sometimes too you can offer your
85
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:29,300
children resources by providing
a children's book about
86
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,440
Alzheimer's disease or showing
them a video that explains the
87
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:39,920
condition in a way that they can
understand or relate to. You can
88
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,540
seek professional help if
needed, if you ever feel
89
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:47,680
overwhelmed or have a lot of
questions about grandma's
90
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:52,300
Alzheimer's disease, we can talk
to a counselor together to help
91
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:58,060
us understand and cope with it
better. By using these specific
92
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:03,420
examples, you can have a more
effective and supportive
93
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:08,220
conversation with children about
Alzheimer's disease, and of
94
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:13,380
course, again, remember to adapt
your approach based on their
95
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:20,160
age, their understanding and
their emotional needs. Another
96
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:25,280
approach is to use storytelling,
create a simple story or
97
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:30,740
narrative to explain Alzheimer's
disease to your children. You
98
00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:34,580
can use characters or scenarios
that they can relate to in order
99
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,120
to make the concept more
understandable and relatable.
100
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:42,580
You can involve them in
caregiving, depending on their
101
00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:47,500
age and maturity level, involve
them in simple caregiving tasks
102
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:51,280
for the loved one with
Alzheimer's. This can help them
103
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,540
feel like they are contributing
and also understand the
104
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:59,500
challenges that their loved one
may be facing on a day to day
105
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:04,260
basis. Have them you know,
interact with them in an
106
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:09,480
activity or something like that.
Encourage empathy and
107
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:15,780
compassion. Teach your children
about empathy and compassion
108
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:19,260
towards individuals with
Alzheimer's. Help them
109
00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,340
understand that their loved one
may actually
110
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:29,420
may act differently due to the
disease, and that patience and
111
00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:34,160
kindness are important when
interacting with them, maintain
112
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:39,380
routines and open communication
Because children may feel more
113
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:44,020
secure when routines are
maintained. Doesn't that sound
114
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:47,920
familiar? We emphasize that
people living with Alzheimer's
115
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,420
disease, people feel safe and
secure in routines and
116
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:58,180
familiarity, and this includes
as the loved one's condition
117
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:03,540
progresses in. Encourage open
communication about any changes
118
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:09,900
or challenges that arise due to
Alzheimer's. You can also
119
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:15,600
address misconceptions and
stigmas, and believe me, there
120
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,740
are a lot of them still
circulating around there. When
121
00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:24,260
it comes to Alzheimer's disease,
discuss any misconceptions or
122
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:27,380
stigmas surrounding Alzheimer's
that the child may have picked
123
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:32,960
up from others, educate them
about the facts and help them
124
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:38,420
develop a positive and
understanding attitude towards
125
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:42,580
the condition. Provide
opportunities for expression,
126
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,780
encourage children to express
their feelings through art,
127
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:52,060
through journaling or other
creative outlets. This can help
128
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:56,800
them process their emotions and
cope with the changes that come
129
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:03,060
with Alzheimer's disease and
celebrate memories. That's what
130
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:07,020
they're going to take with them
the rest of their lives are the
131
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:12,360
memories that they formed when
they were younger and their
132
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:17,400
grandparents were healthy. So
encourage children to share and
133
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,960
celebrate memories of the loved
one who's now living with
134
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:25,760
Alzheimer's disease, reminiscing
about happy times can be a
135
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:30,440
positive way to connect with the
person and maintain a sense of
136
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:35,660
connection. That's what I carry
with me with my grandmother,
137
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:41,200
yeah, the the day that I visited
her, that, you know, rats were
138
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:46,780
invading her home and birds peck
at her face. That was not the
139
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:51,700
grandmother I grew up with, and
I knew something was wrong, but
140
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:58,840
the memories that I carry with
me in my head and my heart are
141
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:06,540
the ones of us baking cookies
together and laughing and and
142
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:12,120
helping her cater her parties
and doing things like that. And
143
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:18,120
that's the grandma I choose to
remember. Keep an eye on how the
144
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:24,200
child is coping with the
situation and be prepared to
145
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,860
adjust your approach as needed.
Children may have ongoing
146
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:32,240
questions or concerns, so be
ready to address them as they
147
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,620
arise, especially if you're
visiting fairly regularly,
148
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:40,600
because you know that this is a
progressive illness, and their
149
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:48,760
cognitive abilities will
continue to decline. Encourage
150
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,900
patience and understanding.
Emphasize the importance of
151
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:57,520
patience and understanding when
interacting with the loved one
152
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:01,680
with dementia, explain to the
child that their loved one may
153
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:07,740
need extra time or assistance
with tasks due to their
154
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:14,220
condition, be their role model.
If they see positive
155
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:20,580
interactions coming from you,
it'll help them understand
156
00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:26,180
having positive interactions
with themselves. Explain to
157
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,900
children that changes in
behavior such as forgetfulness,
158
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:36,440
repetition or Mood swings are
part of Alzheimer's disease, and
159
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,260
you can help them understand
that these changes are not
160
00:13:39,260 --> 00:13:43,240
intentional, and that their
loved one still cares for them
161
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:50,020
and try to maintain a sense of
normalcy. While Alzheimer's
162
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:54,940
disease can bring changes to
family dynamics, try to maintain
163
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:59,500
a sense of normalcy in the
child's daily life as much as
164
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:04,800
possible, consistency and
routine can provide a sense of
165
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:10,080
stability for children during
challenging times and educate
166
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,040
them about the progression of
the disease, depending on the
167
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:19,860
age of the child and their
understanding of what the
168
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:24,740
disease is doing to their loved
one. Provide information about
169
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:29,240
how the disease progresses over
time. Help them understand that
170
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:33,200
the loved one's condition may
change, and their support and
171
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:38,480
love remain important. Encourage
open discussions about
172
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,420
Alzheimer's disease within your
family, involving other family
173
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:48,400
members in the conversation can
positively provide additional
174
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,900
support for both the child and
the loved one with Alzheimer's.
175
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:58,540
I like to celebrate small
victories, acknowledge and
176
00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:01,680
celebrate small achievement.
Segments or meaningful moments
177
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,040
with your loved one who has
Alzheimer's disease, and
178
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,300
encourage children to focus on
positive interactions and
179
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:15,600
memories to maintain a sense of
connection and joy. So I'm
180
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:21,980
hoping that this will start to
change people's paradigm about
181
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:28,400
Alzheimer's disease. For
decades, nobody talked about it.
182
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,960
We all just our families just
wanted to hide their heads in
183
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,680
the sand. I think I remember
telling you that after that
184
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,600
visit that I had with my
grandmother, and she told me all
185
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,200
these, you know, preposterous
stories. And I went home and I
186
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:49,180
asked my mother, what's wrong
with grandma? And she said, Oh,
187
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:52,780
Grandma has been diagnosed with
senile dementia. That's what
188
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:56,260
they called it back then. I
said, Mom, I just went to visit
189
00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:58,960
her, and she's telling me all
these outrageous stories. Why
190
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,820
didn't you say something, why
didn't you prepare me for it?
191
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:09,000
And her answer to me was because
we don't talk about those
192
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,260
things. And I'm telling you
this, I'm sharing this with you
193
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:19,200
because I can't tell you how
many adult children that I have
194
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,940
worked with over the last three
decades, who have told me
195
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:28,460
exactly the same thing, we need
to change this and be open about
196
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:32,720
it, pull our heads out of the
Sands, because I'm hoping in 30
197
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:36,200
years, I don't know if I'll
still be around, but if I am,
198
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:41,260
and I'm helping, still Helping
Families, I want to hear from
199
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:46,180
those adult children how
wonderful their experience was
200
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:50,440
visiting their grandparents in
spite of their Alzheimer's
201
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:55,840
disease, because our family was
very open and honest about it,
202
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:02,520
and prepared us For what to
expect when we went to visit,
203
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:08,400
I'm hoping we could start to see
a lot more of that attitude
204
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:16,260
change. With regard to this
disease, it's very slow. I have
205
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:21,620
not seen things change that
dramatically since the day I
206
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:27,140
visited my grandmother that was
going back about 50 years, I'm
207
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:31,580
starting to see a little bit of
progress in that department,
208
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:36,500
just since covid, but we're not
nearly where we need to be. So
209
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,340
that's why I wanted to talk
about this with everybody today.
210
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:45,820
Please, please talk to your
children about Alzheimer's
211
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:51,340
disease. If you do have that
happening in your family circle,
212
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:56,440
they'll thank you for it later,
instead of hearing, oh my gosh,
213
00:17:56,440 --> 00:18:01,560
I was so traumatized by visiting
my grandparent who lived with
214
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:05,940
Alzheimer's disease and and, you
know, it just freaked me out.
215
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:13,500
We're so far beyond that stage
in our existence. So anyway, I
216
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:19,200
hope this has given you
something to think about, and
217
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,820
you know, there are a lot of
resources out there to help
218
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:27,680
children better understand this
disease. It's not going away, so
219
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:32,000
a lot of us are going to be
dealing with the this in our in
220
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,960
our family circles and our
family dynamics. So anyway,
221
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,500
that's what I have planned for
you today. I hope this has been
222
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:44,020
really helpful, and I'll be back
next week with another brand new
223
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:47,980
episode of the truth, lies and
Alzheimer's show. Again. I'm
224
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:52,780
Lisa Skinner, your host, and I
hope you all have a marvelous,
225
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:58,420
fantastic week. Hope to see you
back here again next week. Bye,
226
00:18:58,420 --> 00:18:59,320
Bye, for now.
