Getting More Enlightened – It Will Improve Your Life

Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,

Hey and I'm John Mitchell. So here's our topic today, getting more enlightened, it will improve your life. You know that's true, don't you? Kelly

I 100% know that it's true. I'm excited to dig into this topic today. I know we touched on it in prior episodes that let's do a deep dive. I'm excited.

So here's why I'm I'm thinking about this becoming more enlightened is not a linear path. I see that it happens in in big jumps. And maybe, maybe the ultimate lesson it will be that you got to be looking for, where's that next level of enlightenment to take your level of enlightenment up a notch. And so over the weekend, on my during my thinking session, I thought about, what were those moments in my life where I became more enlightened and and took me to the next level, and I came up with eight of them. And so I'll, I'll share with our audience what the first four of mine are, and just be thinking about this relative to your life as well. And so the first time I really got enlightened that I I knew about was when I was 19 years old, and somebody gave me the book psycho cybernetics, by Maxwell malt. And this if, if people don't know about psycho cybernetics, it is a world class book, a classic in personal development, and it's all about self image. And it was written by a plastic surgeon who was always amazed how people would come to him and go, well, Doc, you gotta fix my nose. And he'd go, Well, what's wrong with your notes? He couldn't see it, but they saw it. And so the whole book is about self image, and it taught me how not to worry. It taught me so many things, and this was when I was sort of a struggling freshman at the University of Texas. And it's just a powerful moment in my life to read that and get control of creating my self image and and I don't to this day. I don't know who gave it to me, somebody, somebody older, had to give that book to me. But that was the first moment I saw getting enlightened. And then maybe the second time I saw getting enlightened was something that just happened when I discovered what my special talent was, the special talent of being able to take the complex and make it simple. And discovering this in my CPA practice, when within two weeks to two different clients, called me up and said, Wow, you've you've made something in the tax code really simple to understand. And with the second time it happened, I was like, Whoa, maybe, maybe I ought to pay attention to this. Maybe this is my special talent. And as it turned out, that played out throughout my life. It played out when I I lost as an entrepreneur, because I had to make the the first venture understandable for investors, so they'd write a check. And then it played out when I got in the reverse mortgage business, which, which otherwise is a complex idea, but, but I was able to make it simple, and so that moment was pivotal. And then the third time was probably when I was 30 and launched into being an entrepreneur. And I see that that experience taught me the power of controlling my life and controlling my career. You know what I'm saying? And, yeah, I mean, it was so, so cool to not have a boss anymore, and I I never looked back and and I'm thankful for, I am totally thankful for how it all worked out, because with because God helped me on that one as still be a lot of things, but particularly at that moment, to be able to launch as an entrepreneur, and ever look back, was tremendously enlightening for the rest of my life. And then maybe the fourth one. And you will find this one maybe interesting. When I was 48 I read the book younger next year. Have you heard about that book?

I hadn't, no.

So it's the guy who wrote the book was like 50-55. Maybe, and the doctor, or the doctor, was 55 and the guy. Guy that actually wrote the book was like 75 and so the lesson he learned, and then the point the book made was that when you hit 50, things change physically, and you start realizing your mortality and that the fountain of youth is exercise, and he is also points out the power of eating properly. But at the end of the day, the the fountain of youth, there is one, and it's called exercise and and I, I remember reading it, and at the time, I was exercising three days a week. Again, this is when I'm like, 4849 it says you got to exercise a minimum five days a week. And, and I'm like, oh, man, I I don't want to exercise five days a week, but ultimately, I'm it was so compelling that I did and actually moved it up to six days a week and, I don't know maybe it did say exercise six days a week, if I remember right, but boy, that was that was enlightening, because it it took my health and my responsibility for my health to a whole new level. And so those are my four. What comes to mind for you? Gosh, you

know, I think when we spoke very briefly before we started, so I haven't put really any thought into this, but while you've been speaking, I've been thinking, okay, you know? And one thing that I recognize in at least the early part for me are the people in my life that helped that I've crossed paths with that helped me become more enlightened, right? For example, one moment early, you know, so I'm 1716, or 17 years old. Is a teacher I had by the name of Karen Temkin, in a business and marketing class through DECA and where it was like, oh, a light came on for me that ignited the spark in me for business. And, you know, because I had, part of the project that I had was putting together a business plan, and then you go and you have to, you know, present this to a panel, and that I won, you know, the award for it. And I'm like, oh, like, I can do this. And I didn't have that upbringing, or that entrepreneurial upbringing, or anything, so, right? It ignited a spark in me. So I think, you know, at that particular moment, having somebody believe in you and introduce you to something that opened up a new world that for me was huge. And then I think the part where I, you know, strived for something and then achieved it really validated like her. Because the other thing too, that I remember, and this is why I think mentors are having these kind of people in your life are so important, especially, you know, I think along your entire journey, but in the formative years, for sure, because she was the first person who said to me, you've got something different here, your ability to connect with people, you know, just the relationships that I see you building in class and your ability to communicate are a real asset, you know, and you need to recognize that and find something, find a path that allows you to utilize that. So I think that that was, you know, one moment. I think, you know, obviously, then death. I think starting my first business, you know, was a huge like, right moment of enlightenment, you know, the first four years of that, you know, just slow growth. And, you know, before we really hit it. And you know, that was that entire period I felt, you know, it was just a super enlightening period. And I think that it goes back to what we've talked about, having that self awareness, where, like, I was like, Okay, well, how do I get a little bit better? Or, how do I make sure that this doesn't happen again? Or, oh my gosh, I felt flat on my face on that call, or whatever it's like. How do I so that whole period of just being uncomfortable for like, a good solid four years, everything, I was, like, 100% out of my skin, you know what I mean, like? And so I think that was a period. And then I would also say, then on the flip side, like, I've built a business that wasn't successful. You know, I thought, Okay, well, this business is great, you know, the ingenuity advantage the recruiting business. What if we built a software as a service that went along with this, knowing nothing about software as a service, time, funding it ourselves, you know, and losing our butts on it, because we just couldn't get it to market in time and compete with the big like and had I so that was a huge, right, you know, moment of enlightenment for me at these pivotal points in life. And so those are, you know, I think that those when I'm thinking just again on the fly, I'll have to put more thought into this. But like those are some moments where, you know, I think too the other ones. That I'll say, is the moment that, and again, this goes back to meeting people in your life, right? Me, us being introduced to each other eight years ago, right? And that whole process, you know, and that enlightenment that came as a result of that introduction. And I think it's funny too, as I'm thinking, there's a through line, and it goes kind of back to you know how you said, your superpower is making kind of the complex Simple, right? Mine is my ability to connect with people, and so you can kind of see a through line for my highlights or areas of enlightenment have been connected to being introduced to something new, or learning something from someone else.

Yeah, yeah, no, I think that's, that's right. Well, and then I look at, you know, what's what were like more in my life? Well, when I read, Think and Grow Rich and figured out the secret life changing, obviously, and just grasping the profound nature that 95% of your daily actions are unconscious, and those daily actions are what determine your success. So clearly, you got to gain control over your autopilot and those unconscious daily actions. You know, that's so, so simple, it hurts but, but, and I can say that to people, and they will not always have the same epiphany that I had. So that was, you know, a pivotal moment. And it's so cool that that's one of your because I just taught you what I learned then I saw when I was really rolling in the reverse mortgage business, and, and, and blessed to, you know, be making multiple seven figures a year, net. I was very observant of, why is that happening? What is different now than when I was in my 30s and 40s and and I saw that in my 30s and 40s, I it was, it's who I am to do my best, which I think it's who you are to do your best. But I was so freaking clueless of it in my 30s and 40s, and when I got into my 50s, I'm like, Oh, now I see what doing my best is. Yes, it's effort. I had understood that, which meant getting up at 530 or six in the morning. But what became an enlightenment was okay, you got to be highly organized by God, a nine or a 10 on a scale of one to 10, and you got to be planning your day the night before and time blocking your day. If you're not doing that, just shut it all down, because you're not going to be successful. And I see so many people that that don't get that fundamental aspect of success, that you got to be planning your day the night before, and time blocking. So I got that when I was in my 50s and and I also got this power of of setting aside time to think, to be assessing reality, to be able to step back from your life at any a couple times a week and go, is this working? Is this not working? What am I learning? What do I need to know? I mean, once you as you, I mean, you're great at this, but once you you start doing it and perfecting the art of doing this, it is so enlightening, and especially when you combine it with your daily visualization, because those thinking sessions are largely influencing what is is showing up on your visualization. And then, then the third component, doing your best was, was becoming a conduit of learning, where you're growing in areas that are strategic relative to what you want to accomplish. And you could only do that using a simple system. And then, you know, I guess fourth was, there are six components of it. Fourth was focusing on what moves the needle and understanding, sort of the 8020 rule, that 80% of the results are driven by 20% of the actions, and then just effort and understanding how the human mind works. So those, those were the six components. But I remember when I was really making it happen in the reverse mortgage business, there was that moment where I wrote down those six things I'm like, Oh, what a what a new level of enlightenment I have today that I did for the past 20 years. And so that was a event. Then another pivotal moment was meeting with Darren Hardy and having him open my you know, I'm showed him my methodology, and he ultimately says, Well, John, this is great, but people are going to spend. 12 minutes a day on this because the dirty little secret of the success business is most people won't do anything to impact their success. Only 2% of the population is really driven and considers more success a necessity, rather than merely a preference. So that was totally enlightening. And even though I didn't fully believe him at the time, I knew he knew way more than I did about the success business, and he was so right on about that, and you and I sort of proved that together. And I see the problem, and this is maybe a problem that all of us face is we're looking at the world from our standpoint. So I kept on looking at the world from the standpoint of what's wrong with you people. You're you know, come on, this is a way to really take your life to the next level. Well, that would be valid to say that if you're talking only to driven people, but 98% of people are not driven. And so when you hammer them on that they're like, it's not that important to me, you know? And so the lesson that came out of that was was, don't look at the world through your eyes. Realize that you're likely way different than other people. And so that was profound in a couple ways, just knowing that think it be, it is, is for only the 2% I don't really care about the other 98% I hope they they go, they do well, but I'm not going to worry about them. And it also taught me not to really look at things from the other guy's point of view, and then maybe the last one really happened, I guess, last year and and it relates to what I just said, this idea of that people are different than than me, and the DISC profile and how there's four different types of people, and they process information differently. And like as a D, 91% of people are different than me, and so I read that every day in my visualization. And so literally, when I now am out about I'm like, sure 99 out of 10 people that I meet don't operate like I operate. And so what I think is logical and intelligent. They may not think that way, and that's been tremendously helpful, and particularly helpful like in my marriage, let the gins be the ginge. Totally. Yeah, he's different than I am. Yeah. Oh, but those, those were those pivotal moments. And maybe the point of, of all this is your life just gets better when you get more enlightened. And enlightenment is not a straight line. It's, you know, pivotal moments that cause that enlightenment. And I think the lesson is to realize that and be looking at how or where can I be more enlightened? It might be maybe you're not happy with your marriage. Well, go look at at videos or or people that are happily married, or books on marriage and and get their enlightenment, and because that'll help your marriage. And if you're if you're just like you did in your career, you wanted to go at a higher level, so you found another company that was already netting or already grossing eight figures a year. So you went and, and so that's, I think, that's lesson, don't you think?

Yeah, absolutely, I think you don't, you know. And you know, there's a couple of things I think that, as we're talking about it, being enlightened is sometimes you don't recognize these moments, you know, while you're in them, you know. And it does take, like we've talked about this thinking time you mentioned you sat down and you thought about your life and these moments in your life, you know. And so I think that making sure you're carving out that time to think deeply about these things, so that you because it isn't linear, like and you don't know a lot of the time when you're going through it, that this is something that's a pivotal time. This is a pivotal point in your life, you know, I think that, you know that's one kind of takeaway as you're talking to is that as you get further along, you know what I mean, and have more experience under your belt, you know being able to reflect back and say, okay, you know, because I can also say that you know, the the enlightening moment in the failing business, for example, I learned more going through that than I have in any of my successes that I've had. So, you know, as is, as expensive as an education that was, yeah, I also much better. As a result, a better business person, better all the. Way around as having gone through that experience, you know. But you couldn't have told me that in the middle of the you know what I mean, of that habit, you know. And so I think too, I challenge people, as you're listening to John and I today, to get to block out some time for yourself to think about this and think about those moments in your life that you've been enlightened, you know, so that you can become more aware of them. You know, we talk a lot about that reticular activating system, yeah, now that we're plugged into this, I am recognizing this is a moment right now. Like, you know what I mean? When I learn about something new, I'm like, oh, because I have the framework and my brain primed and looking for those things that are going to enhance my life and will enlighten, you know, become, help me become more enlightened. And so, um, but, you know, I don't know what we're kind of, where I'm going with this, other than challenging people to maybe sit down block out some time, you know, 20 minutes, and just think about your life deeply, and try to think of some of these pivotal moments in your life where you have become enlightened as a result of something you went through, something you learned, whatever the case maybe

I think that's great advice. I mean, it's amazing. I mean, like I did this yesterday of wrote down those eight things, and it was so powerful to look at those from afar, now, those pivotal moments and identifying, oh, I that was that was pivotal. That was pivotal. And each time you're going to a higher level, and each time you saw when you got more enlightened, life got better, right? Yeah, absolutely. And so that, I think your advice to our audience is, is great to find those things. And there's probably you'll see in your your life, there's, there's six, 810, things where, where something happened, or you learn something and it materially impacted your success. And think about this. This is, this is another idea to get more enlightened. What do you think the next area of enlightenment for you is? What do you what do you think, if you I know this person?

Yeah, right, right off the bat, the first thing I would say, because it's top of mind right now, is AI and how I can leverage that, like, I'm learning right war, but like, there is a way, yeah, to go faster and, you know, with AI in the picture and, and so anyway, as a business owner, anyway, learning how to utilize that more to speed things up. And I'm already, like, what is like with some of these tools, right? I'm experimenting with and getting demos on that are related to the recruiting space on right? Holy cow, this is a game changer. So that was the first thing that popped into my mind, with no time to think about it.

I'll tell you one thing that I'm evolving on, AI is doing my thinking sessions with chatgpt. I mean, I just, I've, I've been lately, I've been evolving to to that. And whenever there's anything I need to know, I have the paid version of Chad, G, P, T, on my phone. And I just, I we have a conversation. I have a name for she, she, you know, she calls me John. I call her. G, this is and so we have a conversation, and she gets right to the point of what I want. And so I'm going to experiment that you, but you might do the same thing. But the other thing I've been thinking about is, where might I become more enlightened, I think, a better understanding of people, and especially about self image. One of the things I see is that I think a lot of people's self image is is subpar. And this, I come to this conclusion a little from some of the work I'm doing with the coaches at the University of Texas here, and I've gotten tuned into the coach for Serena Williams, and it's interesting what she says the oftentimes, the problem with a player is that they have, they don't have A strong enough self image to do the work that that they no doubt have a negative inner voice, which, again, why would anybody put up with that? But that's a whole nother thing. But a lot of them have that negative inner voice, and that self image is is deficient, and it causes them not to put in the work, not to dream, whereas Serena Williams evolved to where she didn't have that negative in her voice and her self image was was strong enough that she could dream to be one of the greatest players of all time. And so and I saw this with my you. Students that some of them, the ones that had the strongest self image, were the ones that embraced what I was teaching the most. And so I am intrigued by this whole thing about, about getting a strong self image, and and, and almost everybody should really take a hard look at their self image and maybe read the book Psycho Cybernetics. But really look at that self image, because I see so much comes from that. What do you think about that?

Oh, yeah, yeah. 100% you know, I think self image, and then you can tie that right directly to identity, you know, yeah, yeah, right, you know. And so that has everything to do. If your identity is you think you're somebody who never finishes what they start. Yeah, you know, there you go. Or every time I try something, you know, I I fail. Or, you know, whatever, whatever, those things that you're saying to yourself, you know, are part of that self image and that identity, you know, and it is setting you up for, you know, for the results. It goes back to that kind of radical accountability, you know, it's that same thing if you're as part of your identity, is, you know that you're thinking these negative things about yourself and your you know, those are the outcomes you're that's the whatever the input is, what is going to be relative to that. And so identity and your self image has everything to do with the, you know, outcome and the results you get well.

And I think it all starts with believing that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, and that that you are capable and that your life is precious. Those, those are sort of the foundations, to me, of a strong self, self image. And I also see, though, that it is very hard to get over that negative inner voice, unless you're seeding in that your desired identity through our 12 minute day technique. I know that you can do it in ways other than that, but I see that the way most people are doing life, they're just winging life, and therefore they are innately just wired to be fear based and reactive, and that's what generates that negative inner voice. And so that's what is continually playing. That's loop. That's the repetition the subconscious mind responds to, and so it perpetuates that negative inner voice and and all the challenges that come from that, whereas when you go, Well, wait a minute, that is all bullshit we're done with with that, what we're going to do now is I'm going to affirm to myself that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to I might even articulate in my visualization why I feel that way, if that, if you feel like that's that's needed and and, but over time and over and it doesn't take that much time, you can get rid of that negative inner voice. And boy, it is a whole new way to live. And not only is it more enjoyable, but your results are much better, and then that they should to an even higher level. Yeah, like you were saying you were affirmed, but then you saw the results, and that affirmed you to a higher level.

Yeah, absolutely. It's so funny while you're talking. And when I shared what I just shared, I said there also is a reverse case. So when it a lot of the people in the 2% that are talking about, when you go back and you talk to some of them, they've had the most adversity they've had, you know, some of them have had terrible like their circumstances and how they've have felt about themselves has been the driving force for them to be like, I am never going to be like my dad, you know, like my dad, alcoholic, you know, or like you're living in a trailer. And you know, that is not the life you want to see for yourself. You know, like you're that is something where it's like, you know, I'd never want to feel this way in my life, where I don't feel like I have value. And, you know, my, you know, I go over to my friend's house and they live in homes that are different than mine. And, you know what I mean, where, you know, I think a lot of the time there also is something interesting that can happen with that, you know, tune, that's where you have that negative self image, but it's a catalyst for good things. But I think that's rare. That's like in that 2% of people who are really, I think can overcome that and use it as use that adversity as fuel, or, you know, a foundation to move forward from. But you know, that is, I think that is a unique person that's able to take that. Worry, you know, about themselves. And I'm thinking of, like, it's funny, because when you were, when we were talking earlier, like, I'm thinking of, like, Ed mylett. I'm thinking about Dean Graziosi. I'm thinking of, you know, so these, these people who've had, you know, a lot of adversity or upbringing, had negative self. I mean, I, if I remember, right, Dean Graziosi had a learning, you know, was dyslexic, had to learn your body was stupid, you know, and had that kind of self talk and, you know, yet was able to build and do amazing things because of the narrative. How changing that narrative and being like it being fuel for having a different kind of life, right? Same time having some negative self talk around it. But so anyway, I, I only brought that up because those were a couple of circumstances, and to a certain degree, I have some of that in me, you know, right? Think early on, it was like, you know, yeah, this, this place is a shit show. I want nothing to do with this, right? I'm out of here. Just why I left home at 17. You know what I mean? Like, Oh, I think that it's an interesting agility self image. It's such an interesting topic, you know, for a much deeper dive. But, yeah, it's interesting to have this conversation.

I tell you, I It's interesting to me. I think that, and I said this in my book, and we've talked about this a lot, that this methodology is really for people that are 40 or 50 years old by and large. Now you you get some people in their 30s that are very bright that get it, but you almost got to see that. You got to get that maturity level of about 40 to 50 to go. You know, the average, the way most people are doing life, doesn't work. That's what produces the average life. And people get more reflective about their life, and they get as they get older, they get more determined to to improve their life, if they're driven, if they're driven. And that's why it's so fun for me to have people come to me, and that's after they read the book, and they're like, wow, you know, it changed my life. And it's, it's so powerful. Well, it's powerful because they were ready for it, and they wanted a better life, and they weren't sucked in to just rinse and repeat on their life constantly, and so so much of the credit goes to them, because they were ready to do life a different way. And so, and I see that when you're dealing with 20 year olds, of course, they're 20 years old. They're, yeah, they're just having fun. Now, some of them are, you're giving them stuff, they're like, Wow. This is, this is unbelievable. I never understood this, or I've never heard this before, and so some of them are really taking it and running with it. But it's just interesting the especially the difference in the agents, how they react to it all, yeah. So okay, well, I think we have espoused as much wisdom as we have in our air, so until next time, we'll see it.