Public Speaking Anxiety? Do THIS Before Your Next Talk

Welcome. Dear listeners, to the speak and flow podcast where we dive into unique strategies to help you and your team achieve maximum potential and flow even when the stakes are high, when the pressure is high. Today I have the complete honor of introducing a highly accomplished leader. Her name is Jamie Lee.

2

00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:34,260

Melinda Lee: She is a trustee of Usc. She's an independent board of directors for James Campbell and CEO of Jameson. Realty.

3

00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:36,870

Melinda Lee: Hi, Jamie, welcome.

4

00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,079

Jaime Lee (she/her): Hi, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure to be here.

5

00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:54,670

Melinda Lee: I am looking forward to really just diving into your incredible journey. And before we get into that, can you share with the audience what is happening in the real estate world. What you're excited about.

6

00:00:55,230 --> 00:01:07,430

Jaime Lee (she/her): Sure. Well, we're one of the leading housing developers here in Los Angeles. We've brought over 6,500 units to market in the last decade, still under construction, on a couple 1,000,

7

00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:28,710

Jaime Lee (she/her): with a few more in the pipeline. And the area that we're really focused right now is office to multifamily conversion, so converting underutilized office buildings which everyone hears, there's so much of because of the pandemic and turning them into apartments. And so we're doing that on several projects spanning downtown to Koreatown, to the west side.

8

00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,059

Melinda Lee: Wow! That is so fascinating, exciting!

9

00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:35,910

Melinda Lee: And you have had incredible success.

10

00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:42,250

Melinda Lee: And you speak on hundreds and of keynotes, panels.

11

00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:49,490

Melinda Lee: Can you share with us. What is your secret sauce to preparing for some of these keynotes?

12

00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:54,370

Jaime Lee (she/her): Oh, let's see. Well, I feel like I need to start off by saying

13

00:01:54,520 --> 00:02:07,959

Jaime Lee (she/her): I hated public speaking when I was younger. I never did it. I was terrified to even raise my hand in class, and that carried from when I was very young. All the way through my law school days

14

00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:30,630

Jaime Lee (she/her): I feel like I grew up in a culture where my parents were immigrants, and I was 1st generation born, and it was all about assimilation and fitting in and not being noticed. So it was this mantra of Keep your head down, stay quiet, do your work. Do well on tests and exams, but don't share your opinion. Don't ruffle feathers, don't rock the boat.

15

00:02:30,690 --> 00:02:58,550

Jaime Lee (she/her): and that lack of practice in speaking really carried through and just grew into a you know it was terrifying for me into my twenties, so that I would always do the bare minimum, you know. Every now and then we'd have a mandatory speech class, and that would be a traumatic experience in law school. We all had to do a moot courts and oral argument, and to be considered to join that team. And I remember going in being like, please don't even consider me. I'm just doing this because it's required.

16

00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:24,429

Jaime Lee (she/her): and so I never, ever thought that I would be in this position where I do so much public speaking. Now, I almost feel like it's my profession. And the way I really started out was from volunteering, and so, after I graduated from law school, I went back and started volunteering for the Alumni Association at Usc. And as I joined different committees there would be different speaking opportunities which I would always decline, and one year I was scholarship.

17

00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:34,349

Melinda Lee: I have a question. I have a question, so can you share with us, like, what were the feelings, what were like inside your body that you would feel, and the thoughts that would go through your head

18

00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,209

Melinda Lee: for a moment when people were.

19

00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,959

Jaime Lee (she/her): Like if you wound a rubber band.

20

00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:39,430

Melinda Lee: Oh!

21

00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:43,319

Jaime Lee (she/her): Really, really, really tightly. It was just a like a clenched

22

00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:45,889

Jaime Lee (she/her): shaking. I guess I would say.

23

00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:52,670

Jaime Lee (she/her): My neck would get really really hot, my hands would be shaking, and it's almost like

24

00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,440

Jaime Lee (she/her): your mind going blank.

25

00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:55,330

Melinda Lee: Yeah.

26

00:03:55,330 --> 00:04:04,489

Jaime Lee (she/her): It's the opposite of flow which flow, you know. In order to flow, you have to be relaxed. You have to be clear on your message. You have to know what it is that you're talking about.

27

00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:26,420

Jaime Lee (she/her): And in all of those instances it was just this mind numbing. I remember telling my friend we would have a really scary law school professor who would call on people. And this was in a civil procedure class, which was technical, and you had to stretch your mind to make arguments. And when you're in that terrified sort of fight or flight state, I remember telling my friend like I can't even say the alphabet

28

00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:37,659

Jaime Lee (she/her): if she called like. That's just how much. And it's just my friends and classmates around me. But there's something about this sense that people are looking at you, and they're expecting you to say something. And so those are the moments. This

29

00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:44,429

Jaime Lee (she/her): you know what you have to fight through, this process of 1st of all, being able to stand up in front of people and just say the Abcs.

30

00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:49,109

Jaime Lee (she/her): Then moving to something that you're speaking very passionately about, which is.

31

00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:49,430

Melinda Lee: Right.

32

00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:59,840

Jaime Lee (she/her): What it was when I was scholarship chair. It was raising money for very, very deserving kids, who otherwise may not have been able to have a full experience at Usc. Or to afford to even attend.

33

00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,230

Melinda Lee: Right.

34

00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:01,280

Jaime Lee (she/her): So when there was.

35

00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:10,009

Melinda Lee: You were like afraid. But you, like found a path like something was really something you're passionate about something that you knew was deserving. And so.

36

00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:19,820

Jaime Lee (she/her): Mission. And with these stories, okay, I have to get up there and I have to do it. I remember the 1st time I did. My neck was all hot. I was jumping up and down. I was breathing in a bag.

37

00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,220

Melinda Lee: Oh!

38

00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:46,420

Jaime Lee (she/her): Behind the stage, and I remember a couple other board members were just like, What's wrong with you. And I was like, I really really hate public speaking. I kept looking at the exit sign. I was thinking, I just make a run for it, and my remarks were on the podium. So I said, If I'm just gone and they can't find me, then I'm sure someone else will just come up and read what I had written, and those were really the thoughts that would go through my mind before I would speak, and the 1st time you get through it I'm reading off the page. I'd memorized it forward and backwards.

39

00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:46,830

Melinda Lee: No.

40

00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,540

Jaime Lee (she/her): Over, prepare over, prepare. That was really what

41

00:05:49,750 --> 00:06:01,759

Jaime Lee (she/her): carried me through is this sense of at least I could have a shred of confidence because I knew what I was talking about. I cared about it, and then I'd memorize it backwards and forwards. I'm still not a great off the cuff

42

00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:19,740

Jaime Lee (she/her): speech giver at all. But for me it was the the safety within. Preparedness helped me get up there, and what you find is as you do the reps, it gets easier and easier, and the more I did. I mean, it's utterly terrifying for the 1st dozen or so times that you do it.

43

00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:20,520

Melinda Lee: Right.

44

00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,740

Jaime Lee (she/her): But as I got more practice, as I got involved with different organizations.

45

00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:36,490

Jaime Lee (she/her): and just got better and better. And so it's that root of preparedness, but then also pushing yourself to have these experiences and realizing it doesn't get easier until you do it. But every time you do it it gets easier.

46

00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:46,879

Melinda Lee: Yeah, like you said the route of preparedness, and then pushing yourself, continuing to do it, and then also like, if you can have the passion around it. If you can find the why behind it.

47

00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:47,470

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yes.

48

00:06:47,830 --> 00:06:56,830

Melinda Lee: And because that is going to be your fuel, to stretch yourself to put yourself out there, even if it's uncomfortable. But if you can. Yeah, lock into the why?

49

00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:58,870

Jaime Lee (she/her): Definitely.

50

00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:04,729

Melinda Lee: And then. So now so now and then, then you did did a Commencement speech.

51

00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:08,590

Jaime Lee (she/her): And see in front of 12,000 people.

52

00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:16,840

Jaime Lee (she/her): I know that was definitely the biggest audience that I've ever spoken in front of, and it's so funny. That was probably the least nervous I've ever been.

53

00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:30,480

Jaime Lee (she/her): Which was incredible to me and it. And people said, Oh, is that just because it was a faceless blur? And I was like, no, I could see people like taking a sip of water or clapping their hands, or something. It was zeroing in on individual people. But

54

00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:43,179

Jaime Lee (she/her): again, it was that preparedness. Yeah, I had remarks that I cared about, and I had a lot of conviction. And then I remember, I remember what it was like to be a student graduating.

55

00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,730

Jaime Lee (she/her): And

56

00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:59,939

Jaime Lee (she/her): it's sometimes it's not about what you say. It's about how you say it. And so it was just conveying this feeling of enthusiasm and optimism and pride for what they had accomplished. That was the feeling that I wanted them to to leave with.

57

00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:18,040

Jaime Lee (she/her): and the sense that the sky is the limit. So my remarks were all about setting huge, audacious goals, because if all of us look back 10 years at who we were 10 years ago no one would ever have predicted or imagined we could be where we are today, and we should carry that same level of

58

00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:28,599

Jaime Lee (she/her): awe and wonder. And you know, audaciousness into what we do in the future, because we tend to underestimate what we can do in the future, even though we've already shown ourselves.

59

00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:32,799

Jaime Lee (she/her): So much with what we've just experienced in our lives.

60

00:08:32,809 --> 00:08:47,889

Melinda Lee: What an experience for you, too, to be able to go up there, feel so comfortable after that journey of like you said you would have never forecasted, in whatever how many years it was that you'd be speaking in front of 12,000 people about.

61

00:08:47,890 --> 00:08:48,240

Jaime Lee (she/her): And.

62

00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:57,869

Melinda Lee: About stretching ourselves and dreaming big. What a journey that that must have been really fun and thrilling for you.

63

00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:04,140

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yeah, it was great. It was filled. I was filled with a lot of pride, and I'm very, very involved at Usc, as you mentioned. So it's just.

64

00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:04,530

Melinda Lee: It.

65

00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,210

Jaime Lee (she/her): Very, very meaningful to me.

66

00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:16,770

Melinda Lee: Oh, yeah. And then the audience was there. They're they're all supportive and inspired. I love what you said about what do I want them to feel. And how do I want them to feel and lead with that.

67

00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:30,460

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yes, because the thing is, most people don't remember who spoke at their commencements, and I'm sure they don't remember my name, but I actually heard from someone this week who said, Oh, yes, I've heard your name before, because someone sent me your Commencement address.

68

00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:46,270

Jaime Lee (she/her): and they recognized me from it, and they said, Oh, yeah, your message was so. They remembered that it was a message. So if you just even Googled, you know that Commencement speech, it would come up. But people remembered the message of of what I encouraged them to do. And so that's always great.

69

00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:57,090

Melinda Lee: Awesome. And what is it like to be in front of an audience that really is not as welcoming, maybe judgmental board meetings with different stakeholders.

70

00:09:57,090 --> 00:10:01,890

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yes, I've definitely been in very contentious public meetings with.

71

00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:19,409

Jaime Lee (she/her): you know, hundreds of people giving public comment. Whether it was against you know, this is when I was president of the Harbor Commission at the port of Los Angeles. A lot of people remember, in that time coming out of the pandemic, the cargo backlog that we had with all of the container ships.

72

00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:19,840

Melinda Lee: Yep.

73

00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:25,060

Jaime Lee (she/her): At anchor. So we had a couple of big hearings, and

74

00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:36,659

Jaime Lee (she/her): it's about reading the room and being adaptable and as flexible as possible. I feel like these days. We've just gone away from nuance

75

00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,819

Jaime Lee (she/her): and this concept that

76

00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:48,779

Jaime Lee (she/her): things are not black and white, but rather there are so many different different stakeholders for any given issue. There are so many different opinions and competing interests.

77

00:10:49,250 --> 00:11:13,640

Jaime Lee (she/her): And the more nimble you can be in taking in information and then synthesizing it and reacting to it in a way that is both empathetic and understanding, but also holding firm to what your core goal is in that context or in the negotiation, is really important. There are sometimes I walk into a room. And I think it's going to be

78

00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:37,749

Jaime Lee (she/her): this way, like this group is going to go in this direction, or this is how the talk is going to be. And the 1st person who speaks, you know, starts off with so much negativity and so much pessimism that it's like, Oh, my gosh, okay. Now, I have to pivot on how I'm going to present my opening remarks because I need to synthesize and adapt to what this person has said, and weave it in, so that I'm not

79

00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,060

Jaime Lee (she/her): acting like I'm either callous or blind

80

00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:53,659

Jaime Lee (she/her): what their needs are, and I think negotiation is such a great Forum for that, because you learn to really think on your feet. And again it'll always come back to prepare prepare. When I was 1st starting off

81

00:11:54,080 --> 00:12:22,490

Jaime Lee (she/her): in my industry. I was negotiating on behalf of you know, different clients for real estate space, and I would go into some. I'd be terrified. And so I need. You know, it's like a mini speech, almost when you're even if it's just one other person across the table. But you have to know all of your numbers. You have to know all of your clients, goals and wishes and dreams. You have to know what's the rock bottom like. They're not going to go past this number. They're not going to go above this number. And then what are all the pieces at play? What are all the different?

82

00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:46,989

Jaime Lee (she/her): You know levers that I can move up and down to just get to the baseline result that I need. And I would go in and be really nervous. And it's like, Okay, I would in advance. Say, here are all those parameters. But then I would say, this is my opening, my opening, ask or offer, and then depending on what they say. If they say this, then I can say that, and if they say that, then I can say, and that was the level of preparedness that I went into just on a micro detail.

83

00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:48,149

Melinda Lee: Do you map it out.

84

00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:51,049

Jaime Lee (she/her): Oh, yeah, you could. It's like they might say, you know, it's like a decision tree.

85

00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:52,180

Melinda Lee: Yes, yes.

86

00:12:52,180 --> 00:13:21,809

Jaime Lee (she/her): And so you can say if they say yes to this, or if they say no to that, or you might hear from them like this one area we cannot give. It has to be this number. So then, we have to use all of these other levers to toggle up and down to get to where we need to be, and so I'd be astounded. Sometimes you go in with a really good counterparty to your negotiation and be like, oh, this is a tough customer. Now I'm really on my feet, and I'm going back to everything that I prepared in that negotiation. Sometimes I would walk into the room. I'm like this guy

87

00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:36,430

Jaime Lee (she/her): doesn't even know how big the space is, or you know what the starting like. Asking rate is for something. And that was the clear delineation of how you can be successful in these things is that level of preparedness.

88

00:13:36,430 --> 00:13:37,050

Melinda Lee: Wow!

89

00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:38,950

Jaime Lee (she/her): People surprise you all the time. So.

90

00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,789

Melinda Lee: That's amazing. Right? Right? Yeah, no, you do. And then so in the moment.

91

00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:59,300

Melinda Lee: have you been in a moment where you're just caught off guard like. What do you do? So you're prepared. You have all of these different avenues that you could take them down. And and so how do you know what it? What if like, it goes completely sideways? What do you do?

92

00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:03,959

Jaime Lee (she/her): If it goes completely sideways, you have to backtrack to a human element.

93

00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:11,040

Jaime Lee (she/her): I will say that there are things that used to just surprise the hell out of me and knock you off your feet.

94

00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:11,690

Melinda Lee: Yeah.

95

00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:14,620

Jaime Lee (she/her): And I just they're wide eyed like, Oh.

96

00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:15,380

Melinda Lee: Hey!

97

00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:18,130

Jaime Lee (she/her): Didn't expect that to happen.

98

00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:18,700

Melinda Lee: Yeah.

99

00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,539

Jaime Lee (she/her): These days. I think I've seen most of the tricks in the book.

100

00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:23,579

Melinda Lee: So you're.

101

00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:29,079

Jaime Lee (she/her): I'm a little bit more prepared for that, and that's what goes to it. You can sit in your room

102

00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:35,159

Jaime Lee (she/her): and prepare as much as you want, but until you get out there and you have a lot of reps.

103

00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:35,550

Melinda Lee: Right.

104

00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:49,149

Jaime Lee (she/her): Sitting across the table from someone sitting, you know, even if it's with a friend. This doesn't even have to be a business negotiation. Sometimes you meet up with a friend for lunch, and you think like, Oh, this will be so fun! We haven't seen each other in a while. We want to catch up.

105

00:14:49,250 --> 00:15:02,909

Jaime Lee (she/her): and they'll sit down and just be like everything is terrible. This is what happened wrong, and my whole life is falling apart. It's like, oh, this conversation is going in a completely different direction, and what you have to really do is say I'm adaptable. I wanted to have a fun.

106

00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:18,560

Jaime Lee (she/her): ladies lunch, and instead, this is going to turn into a little bit more of a therapy session. And that's okay, because this is my friend. But you have to shift gears. You can't. You can't respond to that. One thing like Oh, well, everything's great. You know. I got a massage I worked out today like everything. You can't respond in that way.

107

00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:19,430

Melinda Lee: I can't.

108

00:15:19,430 --> 00:15:24,289

Jaime Lee (she/her): You have to say you have to say. Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't realize

109

00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:27,749

Jaime Lee (she/her): you're like something so difficult. And how can I help you?

110

00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:35,750

Melinda Lee: Yeah, yeah. So someone is resistant or contentious. You you just you go there right.

111

00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,160

Jaime Lee (she/her): You have to take it in.

112

00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,030

Melinda Lee: Get in!

113

00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:48,419

Jaime Lee (she/her): Have to hold firm like if it is a negotiation, if it is a public comment, complaining session, it's like I hear you. We understand your frustration. Thank you

114

00:15:48,430 --> 00:16:00,129

Jaime Lee (she/her): for sharing that with us, but that doesn't necessarily mean cave and give up on what your negotiation piece is, or what your purpose is in being in that situation.

115

00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:22,989

Jaime Lee (she/her): So I encourage people really to think deeply about what's your message? What are you trying to either convey or earn or get or help, and to always have that be the compass that guides you in your communications. But you have to have this sense of. I'm dancing on my feet a little bit, because I'm going to be

116

00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:41,209

Jaime Lee (she/her): flexible to whatever is being thrown my way. If you only go in saying like, I'm going to walk in. Everyone's gonna love me. They're going to say yes to everything that I propose, and things will turn out perfect. And I'm going to be a hero. Then you're setting yourself up to be really, really surprised sometimes.

117

00:16:41,780 --> 00:16:47,200

Melinda Lee: And then what do you think about the the way that people are communicating now, especially with millennials and.

118

00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,100

Jaime Lee (she/her): Gen. Z. Like they think

119

00:16:49,100 --> 00:17:01,559

Jaime Lee (she/her): it's amazing, because I'm an elder millennial, and people complained about us for so long at the beginning of my career. And now I get to look at them and say, Well, we don't look so bad anymore. But it goes back to that sense of

120

00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:03,860

Jaime Lee (she/her): difficult conversations.

121

00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:14,400

Jaime Lee (she/her): nuance and critical thinking. I think social media has really set up this younger generation, for if someone says something I don't like, I can just unfollow them.

122

00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,070

Melinda Lee: Or if someone said.

123

00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:34,789

Jaime Lee (she/her): Something I don't like. I can just write some mean, scathing, horrible thing that cuts to their humanity in their comment section, because you're behind this wall of obscurity. And so we create these echo chambers because the algorithm wants to feed you, the things that you want to listen to. And

124

00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:50,089

Jaime Lee (she/her): we have to get back a little bit more to saying it's not just this answer or that answer. It's not just black or white. It's not just your view and my view, there are so many gradations of things in between, and if you are

125

00:17:50,119 --> 00:18:16,359

Jaime Lee (she/her): in a safe place, whether it's a negotiation or a friendship, or a fundraiser, or whatever it may be. If you're in a safe place, then we should be able to explore those things together. We should be able to agree to disagree on different things. We're allowed to have differing opinions, and we should feel safe to express those without being immediately, you know, canceled or thrown under the bus, or whatever it may be. But I really encourage people to say.

126

00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:23,089

Jaime Lee (she/her): Okay, this is going to be a more complicated conversation than I expected it to be, but I'm gonna

127

00:18:23,199 --> 00:18:27,489

Jaime Lee (she/her): come to it with a whole heart and an open mind.

128

00:18:27,749 --> 00:18:41,669

Jaime Lee (she/her): I'm not going to sacrifice the things that I believe in that I really hold to be true. But I'm also going to listen very earnestly with someone who has a very different opinion from me, and I've left many conversations, you know, especially in this political climate, with people saying like.

129

00:18:41,799 --> 00:18:46,539

Jaime Lee (she/her): I completely hear you from your position. That makes sense of why, you would

130

00:18:46,649 --> 00:18:54,529

Jaime Lee (she/her): feel very passionately about that, and I will agree to disagree. And here's my opinion, and

131

00:18:54,819 --> 00:19:09,029

Jaime Lee (she/her): you know great numbers of people across the spectrum, who I hold very close to my heart, and we're able to have those conversations. So I really encourage people to say, like difference of opinion is not a bad thing. It's a great thing.

132

00:19:09,089 --> 00:19:26,449

Jaime Lee (she/her): It helps you even shore up your conviction the things that you believe in by being able to tango with other people's beliefs. It's really easy to say, like, this is what I believe, and then I surround myself with people who believe the same thing, and then all we can do is just like talk about it together, and just feel more reinforced

133

00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:27,060

Jaime Lee (she/her): right

134

00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:33,579

Jaime Lee (she/her): beliefs. But when you interject a differing opinion, you say, Oh, wow! I hadn't thought about it that way.

135

00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:45,589

Jaime Lee (she/her): Or maybe it's like, Yeah, oh, that's interesting. That's how someone thinks about it. But I still believe in what I believe in. I think those are very, very powerful conversations, and it helps keep our society more woven together.

136

00:19:45,760 --> 00:20:02,559

Melinda Lee: Yeah, and it. And it helps you with your dance, right? Going with what you're saying. Like, if we're gonna continue to stretch ourselves and be in the nuance of difficult conversation. You have to have. You gotta know your partner. Who are you dancing with, and what moves are they gonna make. So that we can yeah be in.

137

00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,489

Jaime Lee (she/her): Especially if you want to effectuate change.

138

00:20:04,490 --> 00:20:05,200

Melinda Lee: Yes.

139

00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:22,419

Jaime Lee (she/her): That's another thing. I really admire Gen. Z. Younger people today, and having this great confidence and strength in their convictions, they're coming out and just saying their opinion. They're fighting the fight. They're speaking truth to power. That is so incredibly important, because I did not.

140

00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:23,770

Melinda Lee: So young.

141

00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:24,960

Jaime Lee (she/her): When I was young.

142

00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,460

Melinda Lee: Did it.

143

00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:25,779

Jaime Lee (she/her): It, took.

144

00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:26,160

Melinda Lee: I didn't

145

00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,489

Melinda Lee: long time for me to say like, well, this is what I believe. I'm just gonna keep it.

146

00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:30,776

Melinda Lee: You do.

147

00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:34,170

Jaime Lee (she/her): Sit inside quietly, and I'm gonna think about it in my mind, and not.

148

00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:34,870

Melinda Lee: Sure.

149

00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:53,610

Jaime Lee (she/her): So I really really admire this strength of speaking truth to power. But I also encourage people to understand that it's much easier to make change from within an organization, or an institution, or a paradigm, or whatever it might be, than it is to stand outside and throw rocks at it.

150

00:20:54,290 --> 00:21:05,200

Jaime Lee (she/her): But there's a certain amount of credibility that you have to earn. Like every single person's voice, deserves to be heard. Every single person deserves to be seen.

151

00:21:05,270 --> 00:21:28,050

Jaime Lee (she/her): but in some of these, like, if you want to rise in different organizations, or if you want to be taken seriously by people who are really making decisions. It's okay to play a game to get into those you know rooms, or you know where the room where it happens, Hamilton. But and not again, not to compromise what you believe in, but to understand that in order to

152

00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:50,469

Jaime Lee (she/her): be heard sometimes you have to build that credibility. You have to build that gravitas, and that comes from preparedness. It comes from showing integrity in every interaction of saying, in very, very respectful ways, that I sort of disagree with how you know this company is doing something with how this school is doing something with how this, whatever it might be, this our family, is doing something.

153

00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:55,480

Jaime Lee (she/her): And being able to have those conversations in very, very collaborative.

154

00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:58,000

Jaime Lee (she/her): It's in varied, like heart centered ways.

155

00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,669

Melinda Lee: Right? Right? It's not just about you just communicating what you want and what you need.

156

00:22:02,670 --> 00:22:10,889

Jaime Lee (she/her): Or holding up a sign and posting it on your social media, and just screaming that everything is is messed up in the world. There are ways to effectuate positive change.

157

00:22:10,890 --> 00:22:13,029

Melinda Lee: Yes, be the solution, be the change.

158

00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:13,909

Jaime Lee (she/her): Getting into the.

159

00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:14,560

Melinda Lee: Yes.

160

00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:29,090

Jaime Lee (she/her): Organizations and saying like, Look, this is how prepared I am. This is how professional I am. This is what I bring to the table, and then can I offer you something constructive that we could do differently, or that I'm noticing, or that makes me uncomfortable.

161

00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:42,229

Melinda Lee: Wow! Jamie, I really appreciate your insights, your experiences, and could you share with us one last golden takeaway that you want the audience to remember.

162

00:22:42,230 --> 00:22:43,040

Jaime Lee (she/her): Hmm!

163

00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:46,779

Jaime Lee (she/her): Step outside your comfort zone.

164

00:22:47,200 --> 00:23:08,379

Jaime Lee (she/her): because when it comes to public speaking and putting yourself out there, the reps are, what matters. It really does get easier the more often you do it. But if you can't take that step outside of your comfort zone to, you know, give a speech or do a presentation, or join a nonprofit, or speak on behalf of somebody? Or do a podcast.

165

00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:14,970

Jaime Lee (she/her): If you can't step outside of that, then you'll never get that experience, and you'll never get that little bit of incremental comfort.

166

00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:15,970

Melinda Lee: Yes.

167

00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:22,079

Jaime Lee (she/her): People to just push the boundaries a little bit, so that you only you only grow when you're stretching yourself.

168

00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:28,210

Melinda Lee: Right, bring in the passion, be prepared, bring in the passion, and step outside yourself.

169

00:23:28,210 --> 00:23:28,920

Jaime Lee (she/her): Certainly.

170

00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:41,450

Melinda Lee: Love it. And, Jamie, if do people, are you open for people to reach out to you for developmental development opportunities? I don't know if you want to share your handle or.

171

00:23:41,450 --> 00:23:47,830

Jaime Lee (she/her): Sure on Linkedin. I'm Jaylee la, because no one spells my 1st name correctly. So.

172

00:23:47,830 --> 00:23:48,380

Melinda Lee: No way.

173

00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:52,100

Jaime Lee (she/her): Initial letter JLEE. LA. On Linkedin.

174

00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:57,839

Melinda Lee: That's so funny. I could see. I mean, I mean, that's the way that most people smell it. How you spell it!

175

00:23:58,806 --> 00:24:08,500

Jaime Lee (she/her): No, most of you are. JAMI think it was one of the most popular names throughout the eighties, for both girls and boys. Actually there were 7. Jamie's in my high school.

176

00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:09,250

Melinda Lee: Wow!

177

00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:09,640

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yeah.

178

00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,329

Melinda Lee: And I noticed that you're also doing an iron, a marathon.

179

00:24:13,330 --> 00:24:14,040

Jaime Lee (she/her): I'm a triathlon.

180

00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,210

Melinda Lee: Or Triathlon.

181

00:24:15,210 --> 00:24:15,920

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yeah, yeah.

182

00:24:16,223 --> 00:24:16,830

Melinda Lee: Coming up!

183

00:24:17,350 --> 00:24:19,600

Jaime Lee (she/her): I did my 1st one last summer, so I'm.

184

00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:20,170

Melinda Lee: Woo.

185

00:24:20,170 --> 00:24:23,679

Jaime Lee (she/her): Looking to start ramping up for another one. Hopefully, this September.

186

00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:24,900

Melinda Lee: Oh, my goodness!

187

00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:43,789

Jaime Lee (she/her): Yeah, it's been a fun experiment. Because I, you know, basically for a decade, was just having kids and going through that, you know baby stage, and so getting back to myself. It's been great to have a physical challenge, and something that gets me out there, and you know, helps me synthesize thoughts.

188

00:24:43,970 --> 00:24:50,619

Melinda Lee: Stress is a great stress reliever, and it helps you sleep better. So all important things for busy working moms.

189

00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:57,150

Melinda Lee: Wow, that's amazing. That's inspiring. Maybe I should think about doing it.

190

00:24:57,150 --> 00:25:00,709

Jaime Lee (she/her): I'll start with the 5 KI highly recommend. I love 5 ks.

191

00:25:00,830 --> 00:25:03,825

Melinda Lee: Okay, okay, I'll let you know about it.

192

00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:04,740

Jaime Lee (she/her): Ok. Give me.

193

00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:20,709

Melinda Lee: Thank you, Jamie, so much. I had a really fun time appreciate you. Continue. I send you continued success and positive vibes for future work, and, you know, really appreciate your time and your insights. Today.

194

00:25:21,010 --> 00:25:23,890

Jaime Lee (she/her): Thank you so much for having me, and likewise such a pleasure.

195

00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:46,989

Melinda Lee: Thank you and to the audience. I trust that you got your golden takeaway, and that you implement them right away. And remember anytime that you have a chance to communicate. You also have a chance to connect, to inspire, and to make a difference in this world. Thank you so much until next time. I'm your sister in flow.

196

00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,230

Melinda Lee: Much love.