Navigating Complaints with Empathy, Curiosity and Common-Ground Solutions With Melinda Lee

Welcome, dear listeners to a speak in flow

podcast episode we are going to talk about complaints today.

Complaints complaints. I mean, it seems like they're everywhere

in our chaos and complexity and people with bad moods. It just

seems like we can't break free from them. And so I wanted to

dedicate an episode on how do we manage and navigate these

complaints. I think it's important for us, and we're

building our relationships. And so what are complaints, when

someone complains to us, that means that they're neither

there, they're dissatisfied with something, their expectation is

not being met. And usually, when they're complaining, there's a

lot of emotion on top of it, they're frustrated, they're

angry, they're disappointed, they could just be blurting out

things and directing them at you, whether it's your fault or

not, it doesn't really matter, but they are just doing it. And

so in the moment, it can be, it can feel really uncomfortable,

because we, as a receiver can get really defensive. And if

we're not careful, we're going to refute back, we're going to

yell back and and then we're going to disconnect from the

relationship. There is uncomfortable this and then

there's tension. And then so we want to avoid that. And so here

are some three things that you can do when someone complains at

you. The first is listen with empathy.

Second is get real curious. And third is open it up for

solutions. So the first is, listen with empathy. When

someone complains, just take a deep breath, and just go into

curiosity mode. Oftentimes, we can be defensive and yell back.

And so I highly recommend just taking some deep breaths, taking

a step back and and then move into curiosity. Start to ask,

Oh, tell me more. You're upset by this? I didn't do what you

want it. So tell me more about that. What is happening? And so

ask questions and and ask continue to ask questions. Tell

me more. Tell me more. And they'll continue to tell you the

story. Or you can also start to do some mirroring, labelling,

which means that you just paraphrase what they said, Oh, I

didn't meet your needs, oh, I failed to meet with you at a

certain time, or I didn't deliver your task on time. So

just paraphrasing what they're saying. And really go in with

curiosity. So don't I think sometimes if we tried to do

mirroring and labelling, we will feel like we're condescending,

or we're doing it just to check off the box. And that was going

to you know, create some defensiveness in them. You do

want to go in with genuine curiosity. And leave mirroring

labelling will come so naturally, because you're

curious, you're like, what does that mean? Where is this coming

from? Because underneath the emotion, you want to go

underneath all that as they continue to tell you more,

they're going to tell you the story of what has happened to

them. And then therefore you can get into the needs, what is

their true needs, underneath that, you're going to find out a

lot of information. And then once they do that, they're going

to be more receptive to talking about potential solutions.

Because the reason why they're complaining is because actually

they do want us, someone around us to hear them. And then now

open up the door to what can we do about this? What do you what

do you recommend? What do you propose? What are some

solutions, or some ways that we can work together? What are some

ways to help alleviate to get you what you want? And so open

up the door for the third is solutions, but only after you've

demonstrated the first listening with empathy. Second, getting

curious and then going into what can we do about this together

and really partnering to find some common ground to find some

common solutions that will then create this connection again,

that will then increase some possibilities that both of you

together separately may not come up with. And so moving into open

brainstorming and and ideas of what can be some solutions.

So that is how you can handle complaints. I know that there is

a lot of a lot of people that are struggling and dealing with

a lot. And so for you to take that step forward to unleashing

your voice. It requires that we rise above the noise, the chaos,

the fear, the frustration and know that these are all just

underneath that could Be emotions. And when we can rise

above these limiting negative emotions, and coming in with

curiosity, coming in with listening, and then opening up

the door underneath all of that our possibilities are solutions

that we can create together and move toward a partnership and

into a deeper relationship, even when it's uncomfortable, even

when things have not or expectations have not been met.

Once you hear them, we can close the door on that I'll create a

vehicle for connection for change, and more meaningful

relationships. So I hope that you could take these tips today

on how to navigate complaints in our crazy chaotic world rise. I

am your sister in flow. Until next episode, I hope you take

care and go out and lead with your heart