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Founder of “Yes You Can Speak”, Lynn Kirkham has helped thousands of leaders overcome their fear of public speaking. Need to rise, feeling like you face a do or die need to become a public speaker to reach the next level of your career, and yet dread the spotlight? Lynn provides proven strategies to turn on your inner light, flipping the switch to your pure potential and tap into one of your most powerful gifts. Want more confidence and ease on stage, tune into the sweet wisdom, and feel connected to your heart, your audience and trust you are exactly where you were meant to be, a Master of yourself and public speaking. The spotlight effect is real. Find out more about that and then it may surprise you; the deal is as much as we think we need to be perfect; it is better to be open, quirky and real. Your unique self is what really seals the deal.
Lynn Kirkham Bio:
Lynn Kirkham is the Founder of Yes You Can Speak. Lynn went from a shy wallflower to a woman on a mission - Over the past 13 years, she has unleashed over 4,500 brilliant voices, empowering them to command whatever stage they’ve been given, from job interviews, online meetings, boardroom talks to TEDx and large conference platforms.
About Melinda:
Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.
She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.
Website: https://speakinflow.com/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow
Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall
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Hello, welcome to the speak in flow Podcast. Today
Melinda Lee:I have the complete honour and pleasure of introducing my
Melinda Lee:mentor, someone who I own. I owe the world's who she's the queen
Melinda Lee:in my world. She has transformed me. Her name is Lynn Kirkham.
Melinda Lee:She's the founder of yes, you can speak for over 14 years,
Melinda Lee:helped 1000s of leaders, executives, entrepreneurs to
Melinda Lee:help them overcome their fear of public speaking, and really
Melinda Lee:catapults their truth potential. She is a TEDx, Berkeley speaker
Melinda Lee:coach, she in 2017, inducted to the Hall of happiness, which I
Melinda Lee:think is so cool. She's so much to me. And I brought her on
Melinda Lee:because I know that she is at the forefront of what public
Melinda Lee:speaking means. And there's so much that we can all learn from
Melinda Lee:her and her experiences, and what she's done for her clients,
Melinda Lee:and so many people in our community. Welcome, Lynne to the
Melinda Lee:podcast. Good to see you.
Lynn Kirkham:Oh, my gosh, Melinda, thank you. It's great
Lynn Kirkham:to see you. I'm so excited for this conversation.
Melinda Lee:I am to, you've helped 1000s of leaders, so many
Melinda Lee:achieve so much success and true results. When asked you
Melinda Lee:something just specific one client, if you could just be
Melinda Lee:able to think of one client that just comes up for you, because I
Melinda Lee:liked for the club, the audience to hear the the real
Melinda Lee:transformation that you can achieve, just to one client that
Melinda Lee:has really struggled with public speaking, and what you have done
Melinda Lee:to help this
Lynn Kirkham:person? Oh, sure. Sure. Sure, sure. Gosh, this
Lynn Kirkham:brings to mind, someone by the name of Ed. And he's he went
Lynn Kirkham:through my programme, four years ago, four years ago. And he
Lynn Kirkham:actually called me last week to work with him on on something
Lynn Kirkham:other than speaking. And what he told me is that the word changed
Lynn Kirkham:his life so much because he was an engineer. And he used to
Lynn Kirkham:speak, looking at his shoes. He's like, I was a typical
Lynn Kirkham:engineer, or, you know, when I had to stand up and speak, I
Lynn Kirkham:looked at my shoes.
Melinda Lee:There it safer there than these eyes.
Lynn Kirkham:Exactly. And I would, I would kind of like
Lynn Kirkham:shuffle my feet. And, and, and he hated being in the spotlight.
Lynn Kirkham:He just hated it. Yeah. And. And he knew that he needed to rise.
Lynn Kirkham:And so it was either do or die. Right, you know, his career was
Lynn Kirkham:at stake. And he needed he needed to shift it up. And what
Lynn Kirkham:we realised after talking is that, you know, he grew up in an
Lynn Kirkham:environment that was difficult, right, he had a parent that was
Lynn Kirkham:really difficult and not as loving or compassionate as he
Lynn Kirkham:needed. And because of that, it created some trauma on the
Lynn Kirkham:inside. And it made him doubt himself. And, and the doubts
Lynn Kirkham:would come up when the stakes were the highest, right? When he
Lynn Kirkham:was in front of his boss or his boss's boss, or in front of
Lynn Kirkham:customers, or, you know, if you had to present, God forbid, he
Lynn Kirkham:had to present at a conference, you know, that's when all the
Lynn Kirkham:doubts would come up. And so he came to me, and he just said,
Lynn Kirkham:Oh, my gosh, we got to do something about this. And so we
Lynn Kirkham:did. And fast forward four years later, he founded his own
Lynn Kirkham:company. He left the corporate world, he founded his own
Lynn Kirkham:company. And no, not only did he found a great company, but he
Lynn Kirkham:has raised over $300 million in funding, which you cannot do if
Lynn Kirkham:you're looking at your shoes. No way so so he basically changed
Lynn Kirkham:his whole life, which is so cool. And there is nothing more
Lynn Kirkham:exciting to me. And I know the same for you will end up because
Lynn Kirkham:we've worked together so much is that when that light turns on
Lynn Kirkham:inside of somebody, it it's like magic and magic, right? And we
Lynn Kirkham:just get goosebumps because it's it's like that pure potential
Lynn Kirkham:that somebody is that they've, you know, just kept in a little
Lynn Kirkham:box is now released. And it's the most beautiful thing. Yeah.
Melinda Lee:I mean, because I was a speaker coach. I was
Melinda Lee:actually marketing myself as a speaker coach, and I was like,
Melinda Lee:Oh, I'm pretty good. I'm confident. But then once I met
Melinda Lee:you, you really you took it, you took it so much deeper. You're
Melinda Lee:able to help me out eliminate my own negative thoughts. My own
Melinda Lee:inner critic, which was still so high, it was like, You're not
Melinda Lee:good enough? Who are you to speak? You're not smart enough
Melinda Lee:that was running for many, many years, because my dad always
Melinda Lee:told me you're not smart enough. And I believe that. And so if I
Melinda Lee:had that belief inside me how, who am I to stand up in front of
Melinda Lee:an audience and really shine. But when you worked with me to
Melinda Lee:eliminate to let go of that old belief, I remember the day I
Melinda Lee:felt it, I felt my whole body light up. I was like, Oh, my
Melinda Lee:gosh, I'm here with my audience. And I feel free. I feel like I
Melinda Lee:could just communicate and talk and be with them. It's a
Melinda Lee:completely different experience, to speak, and just communicate
Melinda Lee:and say the words and still have an inner critic, versus Hey, not
Melinda Lee:have that inner critic anymore, and just communicate and just
Melinda Lee:be, I'm here. And so I'm sure I mean, can you tell me a little
Melinda Lee:bit and then you it sounds like with this with the guy with the
Melinda Lee:engineer, he had the same a lot of trauma from family, a lot of
Melinda Lee:beliefs or beliefs, because of the mom. And then once we've
Melinda Lee:helped them identify and let them go, he was, yeah,
Lynn Kirkham:yeah. But just to get back to you for one second,
Lynn Kirkham:okay. You know, once you let go of all that stuff, and you're
Lynn Kirkham:able to just be, as you said, in front of people, yeah. You, you
Lynn Kirkham:were able to tap into a flow state. Yes. And tapping into a
Lynn Kirkham:flow state is one of the most beautiful things, you know, it's
Lynn Kirkham:like, it's like, you're just sailing, it's just you've caught
Lynn Kirkham:the wind. And it's, you know, it's just the perfect breeze.
Lynn Kirkham:It's not too fast, it's not too slow. It's just perfect. And
Lynn Kirkham:you're gliding, and you're connected, you're connected
Lynn Kirkham:with, you know, if you were literally out on a sailboat,
Lynn Kirkham:you'd be connected to the elements, right, you connected
Lynn Kirkham:to the water connected to the air, connected just to
Lynn Kirkham:everything around you. And, and what's really cool is that when
Lynn Kirkham:you're now in front of people, Melinda, I've seen it happen so
Lynn Kirkham:many times with you, where you do step into a flow state and
Lynn Kirkham:you stay connected, no matter what you stay connected to your
Lynn Kirkham:heart, you stay connected to the audience, and then you just
Lynn Kirkham:trust, which is not what you were able to do before because
Lynn Kirkham:of all the trauma because of what your dad told you. You
Lynn Kirkham:weren't able to trust that you could step into a flow state
Lynn Kirkham:because that's scary like to. Because for a lot of us, it
Lynn Kirkham:feels like we're giving up control.
Melinda Lee:Mm hmm. If we're just letting go, we're giving up
Melinda Lee:control of what is known.
Lynn Kirkham:If you don't try really hard, yeah, then the
Lynn Kirkham:words aren't going to come out. Right? And then you're again,
Lynn Kirkham:not going to be smart enough.
Melinda Lee:Yeah, yeah. Because when we let go, we don't know
Melinda Lee:what's gonna happen. And then and then they might see us, they
Melinda Lee:might see that we're not smart enough. And then it's done. So
Melinda Lee:it's like almost almost like training wheels. It feels like
Melinda Lee:training wheels to be in a box where when we write out our
Melinda Lee:script, or we practice and practice and practice, and we're
Melinda Lee:just really not letting go to trust our words, because we're
Melinda Lee:so used to practising our content. And then we just stay
Melinda Lee:there. Yeah, I
Lynn Kirkham:remember, I used to practice like crazy. I know.
Lynn Kirkham:You know, every word had to be perfectly scripted. And my
Lynn Kirkham:problem is that I've got a pretty poor memory. You know, I
Lynn Kirkham:would try to memorise and, and that just didn't work. I
Lynn Kirkham:remember I remember going to toastmasters one day, I was in a
Lynn Kirkham:club and and when I went to toastmasters like I don't know,
Lynn Kirkham:20 years ago or something. We didn't have to memorise you
Lynn Kirkham:know, we could have notes up there and we could just, you
Lynn Kirkham:know, we couldn't read it. But we could do, we didn't have to
Lynn Kirkham:memorise every single word and and in recent time, they really
Lynn Kirkham:want you to memorise and I remember going to memorise every
Lynn Kirkham:word and just go up. Hey, yeah, read right now. Yeah, I know. I
Lynn Kirkham:know. So anyway, it was just oh my gosh, this lovely guy. He was
Lynn Kirkham:just he was just a lovely young man. And he was giving his
Lynn Kirkham:speech. And you could tell us that he wouldn't speak this way.
Lynn Kirkham:You could tell he wouldn't naturally, you know if he was
Lynn Kirkham:having a conversation with you. Same story. He wouldn't say
Lynn Kirkham:that. words that he wrote in that speech. And I'm like, Oh,
Lynn Kirkham:wow, it's pretty perfectly. Right. It didn't feel authentic
Lynn Kirkham:to me then. But I was quite impressed with how he was able
Lynn Kirkham:to perform because it really was performance. Okay, but then he
Lynn Kirkham:was three quarters of the way through it.
Lynn Kirkham:And he forgot a word. Oh, gosh, he forgot a word. And he stood
Lynn Kirkham:there. Yeah.
Lynn Kirkham:Yeah. And he, his face went red and purple. And oh, my gosh. And
Lynn Kirkham:he literally had to start over could not start, like partway
Lynn Kirkham:through. He didn't memorise it that way. So it completely
Lynn Kirkham:derailed him. So moral of the story is don't remember.
Melinda Lee:What do you think is happening at that moment when
Melinda Lee:He completely forgot? What what do you think is getting
Melinda Lee:triggered in the body at that moment?
Lynn Kirkham:What I think it is. Now what it might have been,
Lynn Kirkham:is this need to be perfect? Yeah, totally. So I know I had
Lynn Kirkham:that perfection. Gene. I know you had the perfection, right?
Lynn Kirkham:Oh, yes. Right. And and most of the people that come to both you
Lynn Kirkham:and I, you know, they have the perfection gene so to speak.
Melinda Lee:Because we they care, like we care. Right?
Melinda Lee:That's the worst part like we care, and then we want to be
Melinda Lee:perfect because we care so much.
Lynn Kirkham:Right? But then we also care so much about being
Lynn Kirkham:judged. Yes. Right. So it's not just caring for the audience.
Lynn Kirkham:Right? I mean, sorry about that. Yeah, we're just we're not
Lynn Kirkham:judged, right? We, when we boil it down, down to like, what's at
Lynn Kirkham:the core of it? It's don't judge me. Like, you know, you know,
Lynn Kirkham:that, that that thing that everybody who comes to you? And
Lynn Kirkham:I says, which is, oh, my gosh, when I up in front of a group,
Lynn Kirkham:all I can think of is what are they thinking of me? Right?
Lynn Kirkham:Don't you get that? Oh, total? Yes. Right. And that's
Melinda Lee:judgement from Yeah, where do you think those
Melinda Lee:thoughts come from?
Lynn Kirkham:Those thoughts come from not being good enough,
Lynn Kirkham:being told that you're not smart enough or good enough or being
Lynn Kirkham:compared to an older sibling, or, you know, not getting the
Lynn Kirkham:top grades, and then that not being okay. So we have been
Lynn Kirkham:conditioned into needing to be perfect in order to be accepted.
Lynn Kirkham:It's really sad. A lot of us had parents that wanted the best for
Lynn Kirkham:us the absolute best for us, and they put very high expectations
Lynn Kirkham:on us, hoping that with those high expectations would would
Lynn Kirkham:get us the results that they were looking for, right, so that
Lynn Kirkham:it would help us as kids Excel, right? If we can excel and
Lynn Kirkham:exceed expectations, then you know, we're going to get an A or
Lynn Kirkham:we're going to get 100% on a test. And then that's going to
Lynn Kirkham:enable us to have opportunities that people that get lower
Lynn Kirkham:grades wouldn't have. And then that would enable us to get a
Lynn Kirkham:good job and make a lot of money and or enough money to sustain
Lynn Kirkham:ourselves. Right. So they just wanted the best for us. But in
Lynn Kirkham:their desperation, of wanting the best for us, sometimes they
Lynn Kirkham:came across harshly. And and then they weren't there to pick
Lynn Kirkham:up, pick us up off the floor when we failed. Because you
Lynn Kirkham:know, when we're young, we mess up, it's good to be being a kid.
Lynn Kirkham:We just mess up and we're learning and sometimes we have
Lynn Kirkham:to mess up doing the same thing several times before we get it.
Lynn Kirkham:And, and when we don't have our parents or a caretaker that is
Lynn Kirkham:there to pick us up and have compassion for us and love us.
Lynn Kirkham:Even though we totally messed up. What happens is we get, you
Lynn Kirkham:know, unprocessed emotion and trauma in our nervous system,
Lynn Kirkham:which actually goes into the cells of our body. Which is
Lynn Kirkham:really interesting. I didn't realise this for the longest
Lynn Kirkham:time that trauma or unprocessed emotion is actually somewhere In
Lynn Kirkham:our body, it's not just in our head, you know, we can't think
Lynn Kirkham:away these things we, we try, we tend to like, reminisce about
Lynn Kirkham:something that happened. And we have the same thought, like 2000
Lynn Kirkham:times, right. And all that does is ingredient deeper and deeper.
Lynn Kirkham:So what needs to happen is that, in order for us not to have that
Lynn Kirkham:perfection gene, in order for us not to step out of a flow state,
Lynn Kirkham:we need to figure out, like what happened and where we've stored
Lynn Kirkham:this stuff in our in our body, and then give it voice so it can
Lynn Kirkham:be released.
Melinda Lee:I mean, because I've worked with so many clients
Melinda Lee:is just you and with, with through the work that you've
Melinda Lee:taught us through is called the core repatterning process.
Melinda Lee:Through this process, I've worked with many clients and
Melinda Lee:like they're 4050 years old. And they can remember when they were
Melinda Lee:five years old, and the mother got mad, because they didn't
Melinda Lee:clean everything up, you know, clean everything perfectly. Even
Melinda Lee:though the little boy a little girl felt like they tried to
Melinda Lee:clean everything up. And then the mom would just come into
Melinda Lee:their dad would come in, you didn't do this, right. And they
Melinda Lee:end the person at 40 or 50 years old can still have that visceral
Melinda Lee:feeling in the body, just like what you're saying. The cells
Melinda Lee:remember it, it's stored in there. And so the person at 50
Melinda Lee:is about to cry, because they're thinking about that moment of
Melinda Lee:when they got yelled at. Or when they got ignored. And so it's a
Melinda Lee:visceral feeling. And, and that is why we try so hard in the
Melinda Lee:present moment when we're speaking or presenting to be
Melinda Lee:perfect.
Lynn Kirkham:It's so true. It's so true. And unfortunately, when
Lynn Kirkham:we feel like we need to be perfect. What happens for most
Lynn Kirkham:of us is our heart closes, and our guard goes up. And the more
Lynn Kirkham:perfect we think we need to be in that moment. Which, which
Lynn Kirkham:naturally means opposite of who we are. Yeah. Like being perfect
Lynn Kirkham:is not who we are is not our natural state. Right. Our
Lynn Kirkham:natural state is imperfection.
Melinda Lee:But real and freedom and real. Yes,
Melinda Lee:authenticity. Yeah, imperfection. And I'm okay with
Melinda Lee:that.
Melinda Lee:But then right, but
Lynn Kirkham:most people you know, when they're when they're
Lynn Kirkham:needing to be perfect. So not okay with being real, because,
Lynn Kirkham:you know, yeah, they're afraid they're gonna be judged, right?
Melinda Lee:We're afraid we're gonna be judged.
Lynn Kirkham:Yeah, and, and the key to becoming a really
Lynn Kirkham:captivating speaker is to not be perfect not to be as real as
Lynn Kirkham:real as you can be, like, the kind of realism that you are
Lynn Kirkham:with your friends. Yes, that's the whole goal is like, just
Lynn Kirkham:open and quirky. Quirky is because he is okay. It is okay,
Lynn Kirkham:we
Melinda Lee:needed we want it and being, you know, and then
Melinda Lee:imagine being able to be free, your quirkiness, your own
Melinda Lee:uniqueness in the spotlight.
Melinda Lee:You deserve that.
Lynn Kirkham:It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing.
Lynn Kirkham:Because here's the deal. The deal is, is that as much as we
Lynn Kirkham:think that we need to be perfect for people to respect us, right?
Lynn Kirkham:It's the opposite. When we are in the spotlight, and we're
Lynn Kirkham:perfect, right? We are not being ourselves, we're not being
Lynn Kirkham:ourselves, we are being some other version, we are being an
Lynn Kirkham:imposter, essentially. And putting a different
Melinda Lee:list of the listeners have probably felt
Melinda Lee:that before where you're like, How come when you talk in on
Melinda Lee:stage or in on the mic, you're somebody different. I'm there
Melinda Lee:like, they're, this is why so what Lynn and I are talking
Melinda Lee:about this is what is happening and this is why the deeper
Melinda Lee:meaning of what is going on, when you get out to the stage or
Melinda Lee:when you're presenting you're becoming somebody different
Melinda Lee:because you are trying so hard to be perfect. You're trying so
Melinda Lee:hard to get it right, every single word or all the content
Melinda Lee:or pretend that you know at all, we just want you to be okay to
Melinda Lee:be you.
Lynn Kirkham:In the end that's that's
Lynn Kirkham:why you were put on the planet put on the planet to be
Lynn Kirkham:ourselves. There's something that happens you know, we call
Lynn Kirkham:it the spotlight effect where we get into the spotlight and then
Lynn Kirkham:some weird takes over our whole body mind spirit, you know, it's
Lynn Kirkham:just like what just happened? You know, needing to feel
Lynn Kirkham:perfect and and do it right. But when we are that way, we
Lynn Kirkham:completely disconnect from ourselves. We disconnect from
Lynn Kirkham:our audience, we disconnect from being in service to them, which
Lynn Kirkham:if you want to move them you've got to be in service to them. So
Lynn Kirkham:the ah so for me anybody listening to this? My biggest
Lynn Kirkham:prayer for you is if you have the same types of responses,
Lynn Kirkham:right? If you feel like you need to be perfect. If you could
Lynn Kirkham:figure out what what is it that happened to you? What is it that
Lynn Kirkham:happened to you that gets triggered in your nervous system
Lynn Kirkham:today? Is it because your mom didn't listen to you is because
Lynn Kirkham:your dad was hard on you? Is it because you were bullied in
Lynn Kirkham:school? Oh, my gosh, Melinda, I don't know how many people you
Lynn Kirkham:have worked with, that have been bullied. Yeah. But it's, it's
Lynn Kirkham:huge. And, you know, when you're bullied as a, as a child, it
Lynn Kirkham:makes you really feel like you don't belong. And when you don't
Lynn Kirkham:belong, you don't fit in you, you can't connect, and you're an
Lynn Kirkham:M belonging, oh my gosh, it's our deepest need. Our deepest
Lynn Kirkham:need is to belong. And when we don't belong, it sends up just
Lynn Kirkham:panic in our in our system. And so, especially for anybody
Lynn Kirkham:listening to this that has been bullied is released the trauma
Lynn Kirkham:of it. Yeah, because there's a part of your nervous system that
Lynn Kirkham:will never trust people, right? Because your friends, your
Lynn Kirkham:peers, your peers. They were not to be trusted when you were
Lynn Kirkham:young. And so something that happened when you were eight
Lynn Kirkham:years old on the playground can literally get triggered in your
Lynn Kirkham:nervous system today, when you're on stage, as crazy as
Lynn Kirkham:that sounds, it can get triggered. And when it does,
Lynn Kirkham:then all of your energy goes to your head, you completely
Lynn Kirkham:abandon your your heart, you abandon your presence, and that
Lynn Kirkham:is gone. It's gone.
Melinda Lee:Yeah, go ahead. And or you could send in like,
Melinda Lee:they're not going to like me, they're not going to like me,
Melinda Lee:you go into the situation thinking they're not gonna like
Melinda Lee:me. If you just you, you're automatically putting up a wall
Melinda Lee:without even knowing it. So it's a subconscious thing.
Lynn Kirkham:Right? It's so true. So for those who think
Lynn Kirkham:that way, what I would love for you all to do is just saying
Lynn Kirkham:they're gonna love me. Yeah. are gonna love me, honestly, that's
Lynn Kirkham:what I do. I know, Melinda, that's what you do. We go in, we
Lynn Kirkham:go in. So let's just say we're doing a training, you know,
Lynn Kirkham:Melinda and I do trainings together. And we always have
Lynn Kirkham:such a blast. And before we we begin, we have a lot. And we're
Lynn Kirkham:like, this is going to be the best day ever, ever, ever, ever,
Lynn Kirkham:we affirm that it is going to be the best training that we have
Lynn Kirkham:ever done in our entire lives. We don't know why we don't care
Lynn Kirkham:why, all we know is that that's what's going to happen. And we
Lynn Kirkham:anchor that into ourselves. And then we're like, we don't even
Lynn Kirkham:know what we're going to say. But we are going to be so
Lynn Kirkham:connected with our people, we are going to be in such service
Lynn Kirkham:to them, that the words are going to come through in exactly
Lynn Kirkham:the way that they need to hear them. And we trust and and from
Lynn Kirkham:that place where we're able to step into that flow state and
Lynn Kirkham:just have a blast. And the transformation happens like
Lynn Kirkham:that. Yes.
Melinda Lee:Oh, gosh. I love that. I love that. It's so true.
Melinda Lee:That's the magic. That's the beauty. That is the potential.
Melinda Lee:Right? That's the opportunity to have,
Melinda Lee:I can sit here for a long time and talk to you about this. We
Melinda Lee:could keep going and going. How like what do you have going on?
Melinda Lee:You have an interview like a pro programme, tell me more? How can
Melinda Lee:people get a hold of you? Oh,
Lynn Kirkham:gosh, yeah, we've got a programme called interview
Lynn Kirkham:like a pro. And that's four sessions for 90 minute sessions
Lynn Kirkham:group programme, where where if interviewing is is one of those
Lynn Kirkham:situations where you think you need to be perfect. And you've
Lynn Kirkham:erect that wall, we will help you to take the wall down, open
Lynn Kirkham:your heart and really connect to your interviewer and lead the
Lynn Kirkham:conversation and and do it in a way where they can actually see
Lynn Kirkham:you in the position. So they go to bat for you. Yeah,
Melinda Lee:earlier about the affirmation, right calling it in
Melinda Lee:calling the affirmation and then allowing also your interviewer
Melinda Lee:to even see you in it.
Lynn Kirkham:Yes, yes and help paint the picture for them. To
Lynn Kirkham:see it and based on your past experience or just based on your
Lynn Kirkham:accent. Ain't meant for the role. Are you painting that
Lynn Kirkham:picture so that they can see it and imagine it themselves? Is
Lynn Kirkham:really it's really, really powerful. Most people what's so
Lynn Kirkham:interesting is most people will just answer the questions.
Lynn Kirkham:Right? Willing to ask me a question, right? And then I'll
Lynn Kirkham:answer the question. Okay, what's the next question? And
Lynn Kirkham:then I'll answer that question. And, and most people, they don't
Lynn Kirkham:have a smile on their face. They're so stressed about
Lynn Kirkham:answering the questions perfectly, that they kind of
Lynn Kirkham:mess up. And they forget about the human to human connection,
Lynn Kirkham:whether it's on the phone or on Zoom or in person, it does not
Lynn Kirkham:matter. They need to feel your heart. They have to like you.
Lynn Kirkham:Like, seriously, they have to like you in order to go to bat
Lynn Kirkham:for you to hire you. Wow, that's smart.
Melinda Lee:I think then people forget about that. Because like
Melinda Lee:you said, there's so busy trying to answer the question, the
Melinda Lee:person in front of you has to like you first. So you got to
Melinda Lee:open up, open it up.
Lynn Kirkham:And let your quirkiness come through and let
Lynn Kirkham:your personality come through. Really, because they are hiring
Lynn Kirkham:you as a person of personality. Not a robot to do a job. Right.
Lynn Kirkham:So yeah, yeah. So you've got to be you like the you who you
Lynn Kirkham:would be if you're really comfortable. And so anyway, we
Lynn Kirkham:can get you there. It's for short weeks, it's really fun.
Melinda Lee:super fun, super cool. Because when you're you,
Melinda Lee:you, you end up talking about your skills and all your
Melinda Lee:capabilities so nicely, so fluidly. Anyways, like, it's
Melinda Lee:about you just showing up and being able to be confident about
Melinda Lee:you and your your skills. And so that's the beautiful part about
Melinda Lee:it, so that you don't just feel like your need to be perfect.
Lynn Kirkham:Yeah, and just how you would fit into the
Lynn Kirkham:organisation and asking them questions. You know, what do you
Lynn Kirkham:love about this place? What don't you love? Come on, be real
Lynn Kirkham:with me what's not so good? Because I want to know what's
Lynn Kirkham:underneath the covers now rather than later. Right? So you just,
Lynn Kirkham:but ask it in a way that that is really approachable, you know,
Lynn Kirkham:not intimidating, but it's like, Hey, I know the dirt. Because I
Lynn Kirkham:know you got it. Right. Yeah. So so we do that. And yeah, a bunch
Lynn Kirkham:of other stuff. But it's it's all around just
Lynn Kirkham:Unknown:
Lynn Kirkham:bringing you home, right? Because
Melinda Lee:totally, because I think we're in this corporate
Melinda Lee:environment or environments that does not allow that does not
Melinda Lee:allow that it shuts us down. With through the feedback, that
Melinda Lee:criticism, people overpowering each other, and how do we be us
Melinda Lee:and win in this type of environment
Melinda Lee:that we need, it's time we need more heart centred leaders to
Melinda Lee:feel good to do that. And feel confident to do that. You're
Lynn Kirkham:Yeah, it's it's like, well, corporate more than
Lynn Kirkham:ever needs card. Like it's missing heart. And it takes
Lynn Kirkham:courage. And it takes vulnerability to share your
Lynn Kirkham:heart. And it requires for most people it requires a letting go
Lynn Kirkham:of all the reasons why you have decided it's not safe to share
Lynn Kirkham:your heart that's not safe to be vulnerable. So yeah, so what
Lynn Kirkham:wherever you do it, whether it's with Melinda whether it's with
Lynn Kirkham:the gal down the street or you know some trauma release
Lynn Kirkham:therapist, just handle that part. handle that part, you
Lynn Kirkham:know, Melinda can do do the core repatterning in four sessions in
Lynn Kirkham:four sessions, she's able to help you release 20 or 25 events
Lynn Kirkham:in your life that are continuing to run you so there's nothing
Lynn Kirkham:that I've seen in my entire life and I've been studying this
Lynn Kirkham:stuff for probably 30 years now. There's nothing that I've seen
Lynn Kirkham:that can release trauma like the core repatterning technique and
Lynn Kirkham:you know Melinda you're expert at this, you're just you're so
Lynn Kirkham:intuitive and you're so spot on with why people hang on. Right
Lynn Kirkham:and you're really great at coming up with the exact words
Lynn Kirkham:that will help them to release it all.
Melinda Lee:It was all through your coaching and mentoring. I
Melinda Lee:wouldn't be here without you. Like I said earlier I feel free.
Melinda Lee:I feel myself I'm more in tune with my intuition and my body I
Melinda Lee:was so disc connected to my body because I was always in my head,
Melinda Lee:thinking about what to say over our spacing. And now I'm I feel
Melinda Lee:alignment. I feel embodied I can feel myself being in here and,
Melinda Lee:and experiencing around what is around me.
Lynn Kirkham:That's so beautiful.
Lynn Kirkham:That's so beautiful. That's why we're put on the earth right, is
Lynn Kirkham:to have that full sensory experience. And one more just in
Lynn Kirkham:our head. We miss most of what's happening. Totally.
Melinda Lee:I love you so much. I
Melinda Lee:love you. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.
Lynn Kirkham:Oh, I love you too. Oh my goodness. Oh my
Lynn Kirkham:goodness.
Melinda Lee:A lot of people know. I mean, I know so many
Melinda Lee:people that owe their worlds to Lynne currycomb, who was just
Melinda Lee:dedicated her life to helping all of us unlock the potential
Melinda Lee:in her voice and speak freely and unlock her own potential. So
Melinda Lee:reach out to Lynn or myself Lynne is you can do I give them
Melinda Lee:your website or?
Lynn Kirkham:Oh, sure, it's yesyoucanspeaknow.com
Melinda Lee:Yeah, yesyoucanspeaknow.com Check out
Melinda Lee:some of her programmes are amazing. I might even see you on
Melinda Lee:those programmes too. I'm one of our facilitators and teachers.
Melinda Lee:So thank you so much for sharing. We're free. We're free.
Melinda Lee:Thank you so much, one. Take care. Bye, everyone. Thanks for
