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Learning how to say no may save you from burn-out and mis-understanding the myth to success.
Sarah highlights paying attention to our intuition, what is your body talk saying, and when those sacred messengers are showing us; through pain and discomfort that it’s time to rest, so we can rejuvenate and recharge.
Guilt can be that old and outdated inner voice, so unlock your most powerful you and shift that inner critic to one that speaks with confidence inside and out.
You can be successful without being that overworked leader heading for burn-out.
About Melinda:
Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.
She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.
Website: https://speakinflow.com/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow
Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall
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Hello, welcome to the Speaking In Flow Podcast.
Melinda Lee:Today I have Sarah Arsenault, who is a human resources
Melinda Lee:professional. She's been in the industry for quite some time for
Melinda Lee:over a decade. She's seen it all in human resources, human
Melinda Lee:relations, consulting in different industries. She's
Melinda Lee:currently working at Lamar advertising company. And I
Melinda Lee:brought her on because she's a dear friend, caught like a
Melinda Lee:client, a past client. And so she we work together. But she
Melinda Lee:has an amazing experience that I want the audience to hear, she
Melinda Lee:has worked through a lot of difficult challenges, and some
Melinda Lee:of you might relate to it. And so that's why I have Sarah here.
Melinda Lee:So Sarah, welcome.
Sarah Arceneaux:Thank you, Melinda. Thanks for having me.
Melinda Lee:Yeah, it's good to have you. And so let's dive
Melinda Lee:right in. Sarah, like, as I mentioned, I think you are a
Melinda Lee:powerhouse, you are confident you're courageous. And and it
Melinda Lee:didn't, it came at a price it came with a lot of work,
Melinda Lee:overcoming difficult challenges. And so what is something that
Melinda Lee:you have had to go through and overcome in your life that you
Melinda Lee:can share with with the audience
Sarah Arceneaux:For sure. So back in 2016, I was diagnosed
Sarah Arceneaux:with multiple sclerosis. And multiple sclerosis is an
Sarah Arceneaux:autoimmune disease that affects your nerves can give it's a they
Sarah Arceneaux:call it the snowflake disease, because it's different for
Sarah Arceneaux:everyone. But my issues are mostly related to muscle
Sarah Arceneaux:tightness and spasms, pain, some blindness that comes in and out
Sarah Arceneaux:with what's called optic neuritis and migraines,
Sarah Arceneaux:different things like that fatigue, brain fog, all kinds of
Sarah Arceneaux:fun stuff that is not easy to work through. So back in 2016, I
Sarah Arceneaux:was actually in grad school online and working full time,
Sarah Arceneaux:which is already a lot without having a degenerative disease on
Sarah Arceneaux:top of it. And so I ended up taking a semester break from
Sarah Arceneaux:school while working, working through what would be best for
Sarah Arceneaux:me at work. I learned the hard way that I needed to listen to
Sarah Arceneaux:my body, which I now listen to. But back in the day, I would
Sarah Arceneaux:have a relapse and MS relapse, and I'd worked through it and
Sarah Arceneaux:not and take off a couple of hours here a couple of hours
Sarah Arceneaux:there. But I was not allowing my body, the time and the rest I
Sarah Arceneaux:needed. And something with MS like many other conditions, is
Sarah Arceneaux:that stress worsens it. And it's nothing against my employer,
Sarah Arceneaux:it's my own self, I've had anxiety my whole life. And
Sarah Arceneaux:stress is definitely something that is there. And so I was in
Sarah Arceneaux:employee relations, back when I was diagnosed. And that's where
Sarah Arceneaux:I started my career in human resources. And that's a high
Sarah Arceneaux:stress environment. That is somebody potential sexual
Sarah Arceneaux:harassment or discrimination in the workplace. And those pop up
Sarah Arceneaux:anytime we are a nationwide company, I could get a call on
Sarah Arceneaux:Monday night that I needed to be in New York the next day, and
Sarah Arceneaux:have to pack up and go do an investigation so that stress was
Sarah Arceneaux:a lot on my body. So as we grew with Lamar, we wanted to start a
Sarah Arceneaux:centralised Professional Development Programme within the
Sarah Arceneaux:human resources department to focus on building up our
Sarah Arceneaux:employees and getting them better at their jobs and better
Sarah Arceneaux:leaders. So when that position came available, it was at a time
Sarah Arceneaux:where I was telling myself, I need to take a break, I need my
Sarah Arceneaux:body, my body needs time to rest. My doctor was advising me
Sarah Arceneaux:of that. So I ended up taking a three month leave of absence
Sarah Arceneaux:from work. And in between that time I was transitioning from
Sarah Arceneaux:employee relations to professional development. So now
Sarah Arceneaux:I'm in professional development and can look back at those times
Sarah Arceneaux:and say, Man, that was difficult, man, was it a great
Sarah Arceneaux:experience, but I'm in the right place now. Because with
Sarah Arceneaux:professional development, I'm it's extremely fulfilling work
Sarah Arceneaux:that I get to help train others on how to be a better version of
Sarah Arceneaux:themselves. And instead of saying you helped me hire
Sarah Arceneaux:somebody, they're saying you train me on how to be a better
Sarah Arceneaux:leader and you inspired me to be better for my team and that has
Sarah Arceneaux:had such a positive effect on my well being both with my health
Sarah Arceneaux:and my mental health. And I think it's just, it's all taught
Sarah Arceneaux:me to listen to my body and at the end of the day, the The
Sarah Arceneaux:better I am to myself, the better I can be for my employer.
Melinda Lee:Yeah. And what would you advise people who are
Melinda Lee:still in it like if they are know that they have a difficult
Melinda Lee:time they're feeling really overwhelmed, tired? Or their
Melinda Lee:body's saying, hey, stop, what would you how do you know when
Melinda Lee:to put the brakes on? For you? Yeah,
Sarah Arceneaux:I'm learning how to say no, is a very
Sarah Arceneaux:difficult thing that I still have a problem with, was
Sarah Arceneaux:definitely the yes woman I took on every project, and overloaded
Sarah Arceneaux:myself. And I think, being new to my career, I also was like, I
Sarah Arceneaux:need to do the most, I need to be the most I need to not stop
Sarah Arceneaux:in order to be able to advance, which is not necessarily the
Sarah Arceneaux:truth. When you overload yourself, you end up burning
Sarah Arceneaux:yourself out physically, emotionally, health wise, all of
Sarah Arceneaux:those things. And so I think taking a look at at, we'd like
Sarah Arceneaux:to say in our trainings, it's not work life balance, because
Sarah Arceneaux:it needs to be balanced, it doesn't have to be equal, it
Sarah Arceneaux:needs to be balanced. So making sure that you're giving yourself
Sarah Arceneaux:enough time to rest to have that self care, and to not take on so
Sarah Arceneaux:much that you feel like you always have to be on is the best
Sarah Arceneaux:way to set up, set yourself up for success. Because if you
Sarah Arceneaux:overload yourself, and you don't recognise the cues that your
Sarah Arceneaux:body's giving you, then you're going to end up doing worse for
Sarah Arceneaux:yourself. And it's going to end up catching up to you
Sarah Arceneaux:eventually, like it did with me.
Melinda Lee:And what are the cues that your body gives you,
Sarah Arceneaux:um, mine are mostly pain related. I get
Sarah Arceneaux:muscle spasms, and I now work from home after COVID, which has
Sarah Arceneaux:been great, and has been a lot better for me, but I have pain
Sarah Arceneaux:and then I have brain fog that happens. So I have all these
Sarah Arceneaux:thoughts in my head and I try and say them and it will not
Sarah Arceneaux:come out no matter what I say or the wrong words come out. And so
Sarah Arceneaux:when I start to get like that, I have to make sure I go take a
Sarah Arceneaux:1015 minute break, settle myself relax completely. And then I can
Sarah Arceneaux:I can get back to work or if it's really bad take off a day
Sarah Arceneaux:or so to really recover. And I think those mental health days
Sarah Arceneaux:or whatever kind of health day that you need. Taking that time
Sarah Arceneaux:is important. Because you're not going to be your best self at
Sarah Arceneaux:work unless you are your full self, which you can't be if you
Sarah Arceneaux:have all of these signals of overwork going on in your body.
Melinda Lee:Do you actually wait till it's pain? And then
Melinda Lee:you stop or have you figured out a way you go through it?
Sarah Arceneaux:Usually I wait. Usually I wait for the pain
Sarah Arceneaux:because I mean, with MS depending on on how you are my
Sarah Arceneaux:my pain level, I don't really go under a pain level of three out
Sarah Arceneaux:of 10. So when my pain starts getting up and up, and we're
Sarah Arceneaux:hitting a five or six, usually towards the end of the day,
Sarah Arceneaux:that's when I usually end up trying to try to take a break
Sarah Arceneaux:and rest. But I've also found things that have helped me which
Sarah Arceneaux:changing positions. So I have a standing desk, I will sit in a
Sarah Arceneaux:chair, I will use a standing desk or I'll sit on the couch
Sarah Arceneaux:throughout the day to mix it up. So I don't get to that pain,
Sarah Arceneaux:that pain level to where I need to stop myself. So I think
Sarah Arceneaux:creating those adaptations for yourself, recognising the signs
Sarah Arceneaux:and telling yourself Oh, my stomach's hungry, I haven't
Sarah Arceneaux:eaten because I've been working through lunch, go eat, having
Sarah Arceneaux:those breaks for yourself are so important.
Melinda Lee:I think it's so true. I mean, I want to just
Melinda Lee:share a little bit on my mom, because she was constantly on
Melinda Lee:the go constantly at it. And I she did not listen to her body
Melinda Lee:at all. So I liked how you said that. I noticed if it's a 345
Melinda Lee:and it's getting to five, I want to stop. But there are so many
Melinda Lee:of us in our society, when we just push through it, we don't
Melinda Lee:listen to our intuition into our bodies. And then we think, Oh,
Melinda Lee:well, we'll rest late or there's no time to sleep. And then and
Melinda Lee:then and then you don't listen to those cues anymore. And then
Melinda Lee:something like this happens where your body needs to go
Melinda Lee:through something just to alarm you. And then it's almost too
Melinda Lee:late. So So I think it's important for people to be
Melinda Lee:listening and more, you know, settling their minds so that and
Melinda Lee:allowing yourself to say no to these things. What was that like
Melinda Lee:for you to say start saying no. How did you fortify that voice?
Melinda Lee:Like you had to because you're in pain. But then what was it
Melinda Lee:like to finally start to see it and use your voice like that?
Sarah Arceneaux:It was difficult. And to add to that a
Sarah Arceneaux:little bit to my story is that I'm very close were friends with
Sarah Arceneaux:quite a few of my co workers, one of which had told me I love
Sarah Arceneaux:you as a friend more than I love you as a co worker and you're
Sarah Arceneaux:not going to work here any longer not not in a threatening
Sarah Arceneaux:way but you're not going to work here any longer if you've run
Sarah Arceneaux:yourself to the ground. She told me that a couple of days later,
Sarah Arceneaux:two other people told me that because I was seriously burnt
Sarah Arceneaux:out and overworking and I you could physically on my face tell
Sarah Arceneaux:how sick I was feeling. So I think listening to yourself, but
Sarah Arceneaux:also listening to other people being like, we don't want you to
Sarah Arceneaux:do more. Don't say yes. Is something to listen to, too. But
Sarah Arceneaux:once I started saying, No, I think the biggest thing for me
Sarah Arceneaux:was, people still like me, I'm still a good co worker, doesn't
Sarah Arceneaux:matter. I said, No, and they're not gonna fire me. Awesome. And
Sarah Arceneaux:I think that the biggest thing that I found is that I now would
Sarah Arceneaux:rather say no, or Yes, I'll do that in six months, then take it
Sarah Arceneaux:on now and then say, Oh, I didn't have time. Let me push
Sarah Arceneaux:back that deadline, push back that deadline, because I used to
Sarah Arceneaux:say yes, all the time, and not get things done. Super timely,
Sarah Arceneaux:right. So now I'm able to find a better balance by spacing things
Sarah Arceneaux:out, spacing things out for both my stress load, for getting
Sarah Arceneaux:deadlines complete, and all of those things, and really being
Sarah Arceneaux:realistic with what you can do in the timeframe. Because I
Sarah Arceneaux:think that was a big, a big part of my stress level too, was,
Sarah Arceneaux:again, trying to do the most and be the best, and overloading
Sarah Arceneaux:myself. And putting too much on myself. It wasn't that my boss
Sarah Arceneaux:necessarily did ask, but I could have said no, because I had more
Sarah Arceneaux:things on my plate. So I had too many things. And that's what was
Sarah Arceneaux:causing my stress level, not necessarily the base level of my
Sarah Arceneaux:job. It was what I was taking on. At my job. I was doing it to
Sarah Arceneaux:myself.
Melinda Lee:Right, right. And there's so many of us so many of
Melinda Lee:us that are just there were leaders or heart centred
Melinda Lee:leaders, we want to do the best we want to put ourselves out
Melinda Lee:there. We want to climb we want to make more money, all these
Melinda Lee:things drive us we want to prove, right? Hey, we got this
Melinda Lee:and you can and what I love what you what happened with you is
Melinda Lee:you said no. And you allow people what when you say no,
Melinda Lee:you're also allowing people to actually to show you you're
Melinda Lee:still love, you're still enough. And opportunities can still come
Melinda Lee:like if we keep on pushing and proving we're actually not
Melinda Lee:allowing for these opportunities show up for you to pace at a
Melinda Lee:good pace that is good for you and still see fruition and
Melinda Lee:results, even at your pace that you want to go on. It's
Melinda Lee:absolutely yeah,
Sarah Arceneaux:absolutely. And, and I've come to a place
Sarah Arceneaux:where I love my job so much. I really do. And I thanks to your
Sarah Arceneaux:your help as a speaker coach to I've started facilitating
Sarah Arceneaux:training for Lamar advertising company, which I never in my
Sarah Arceneaux:life would have thought that I would have been a corporate
Sarah Arceneaux:trainer. I just never. Even though my undergrad degree was
Sarah Arceneaux:in HR education. I just never thought that would be me even
Sarah Arceneaux:though I I taught my teddy bears when I was in kindergarten, and
Sarah Arceneaux:my room and all of that.
Melinda Lee:Well, I remember in you were like you're seeking
Melinda Lee:were you speaking inside, like on the RV, or you had visions of
Melinda Lee:yourself talking? Yes, you had visions of yourself speaking and
Melinda Lee:in your mind are ready. And let's talk about when you first
Melinda Lee:came to me when you were like, hey, Melinda, I'm going to do
Melinda Lee:this training for this cut for our company. And it's a big
Melinda Lee:deal. Because you're training executives, you're training the
Melinda Lee:leaders of the company, and a part of you had that impostor
Melinda Lee:syndrome. So you've done it before with your teddy bears,
Melinda Lee:and you had visions of it, but you still felt like who am I to
Melinda Lee:do this? Yep, yeah, yeah, remember that? I do.
Sarah Arceneaux:And I did trainings previously, where I
Sarah Arceneaux:came up with a material. And I can talk all day long when
Sarah Arceneaux:something I came up with, but we did it through the training
Sarah Arceneaux:through Franklin Covey. So I had six hours worth of presentation
Sarah Arceneaux:material that was not my own, which was completely daunting to
Sarah Arceneaux:me. And when I met you all of the thoughts of I'm not going to
Sarah Arceneaux:remember what they said they're going to ask me a question. I
Sarah Arceneaux:don't know the answer to the Zoom isn't going to work. The
Sarah Arceneaux:they don't, I haven't been a actual manager of a person for
Sarah Arceneaux:very long, so they're not going to trust that what I have to say
Sarah Arceneaux:is accurate. I had all of these self doubts going through my
Sarah Arceneaux:head. And as I mentioned earlier, I've struggled with
Sarah Arceneaux:anxiety. So it was ruling me and I knew that I was coming up with
Sarah Arceneaux:this, this facilitation and the next few months and then you
Sarah Arceneaux:just happen to pop into one of my professional organisations,
Sarah Arceneaux:met you and you were talking about Unshakable Confidence. I
Sarah Arceneaux:was like, Well, yeah, I kind of need that. And so working with
Sarah Arceneaux:you and your core method, I was able to neutralise those self
Sarah Arceneaux:doubting thoughts, and I've shared with you and I'll share
Sarah Arceneaux:with everyone I Recently, in the past two weeks, I was doing my
Sarah Arceneaux:Franklin Covey presentations. And long story short, it wasn't
Sarah Arceneaux:an internet problem, it was a computer problem. My computer
Sarah Arceneaux:didn't have enough memory and zoom was quitting on me probably
Sarah Arceneaux:20 different times during a two hour session with all these
Sarah Arceneaux:executives on the phone, panic attack was ensuing inside. But
Sarah Arceneaux:on the outside, I was still keeping it together at some
Sarah Arceneaux:point, it would just I would see my little mouse it would have
Sarah Arceneaux:like the little thinking thing and like it's about to crash,
Sarah Arceneaux:just take a deep breath, it'll come back up and I kept talking.
Sarah Arceneaux:So at some point, I barely even felt that it that it went went
Sarah Arceneaux:away. And then when I got the new computer, I told you I was
Sarah Arceneaux:like bring it on computer what you got come on mess with me.
Sarah Arceneaux:I've got this so that unshakeable confidence. You
Sarah Arceneaux:definitely helped instil in me and it's, it's been interesting.
Sarah Arceneaux:I'll tell Melinda all the time. You have some voodoo magic. I'm
Sarah Arceneaux:from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. So we got the Voodoo down here in
Sarah Arceneaux:New Orleans. don't necessarily believe in it. But I believe in
Sarah Arceneaux:Melinda and your voodoo magic ways of neutralising all these
Sarah Arceneaux:thoughts in my head. Thank you
Melinda Lee:so much. And those thoughts were real. I mean, they
Melinda Lee:actually had a legitimate reason to be there. Because like you
Melinda Lee:said, yeah, that technology may not work. Yeah, you didn't have
Melinda Lee:as much experience as all of these executives. Yeah, the
Melinda Lee:materials not used. So those are actual, they were in when
Melinda Lee:anybody goes through something that is high stakes, it's
Melinda Lee:important, these thoughts will come up. And, and I think
Melinda Lee:they're valid. And I think what you and I did the work that we
Melinda Lee:did, we did it, we did give it respect, and we work through
Melinda Lee:each of them. So that you can see that they're their thoughts,
Melinda Lee:and they needed to be heard, they needed to be respected. And
Melinda Lee:then they actually start to dissolve and neutralise out of
Melinda Lee:our nervous system. And then so when you when you got presented
Melinda Lee:with even what would have happened if we didn't work
Melinda Lee:together, and you have that computer problem, what do you
Melinda Lee:think would have? Like, really, I'm gonna play it out like this
Melinda Lee:for fun? What do you would have done,
Sarah Arceneaux:I would have cried, probably cried, there
Sarah Arceneaux:probably would have been tears, I wanted to throw my computer
Sarah Arceneaux:across the room. And I might have if I didn't, if I didn't
Sarah Arceneaux:have that confidence, I think that, um, I really don't know,
Sarah Arceneaux:because I just kept going to, I have my bullet points. I know
Sarah Arceneaux:what I'm talking about. And I kept Melinda, Melinda and her
Sarah Arceneaux:immersion session would say, I don't know what I'm gonna say,
Sarah Arceneaux:but it's gonna be great. And the amount of times I was like, I
Sarah Arceneaux:don't know what the heck is gonna happen with this computer,
Sarah Arceneaux:but I'm gonna get through it. And this training is going to be
Sarah Arceneaux:great. I just kept telling myself that and I could power
Sarah Arceneaux:through it. And so I think if I didn't have that, in the back of
Sarah Arceneaux:my head, I might have been like, we need to stop this training
Sarah Arceneaux:until I figure out what's going on. I was able to adjust on the
Sarah Arceneaux:fly, when I don't think I would have been able to do it as
Sarah Arceneaux:gracefully as I did, if that makes sense.
Melinda Lee:Yes, yes, yes. Right. Yeah, totally. Because
Melinda Lee:your your, your mind is going haywire, the nervous system is
Melinda Lee:going haywire. And then so we're not able to think very clearly.
Melinda Lee:And so you're able to think clearly you're able to move
Melinda Lee:through it and adjust and, and still and then there was a some
Melinda Lee:feedback,
Sarah Arceneaux:I was about to say that and then after the the
Sarah Arceneaux:last one I ended up I was at with our help desk was there and
Sarah Arceneaux:they said if it doesn't work, I'm gonna go get you the best
Sarah Arceneaux:computer I got. So literally, we took a 20 minute break from the
Sarah Arceneaux:training I was supposed to talk about, we'll talk through how to
Sarah Arceneaux:adjust on the fly, what I was going to remove from it, got
Sarah Arceneaux:back into it and went into it. So this last group had half of
Sarah Arceneaux:me with technical issues and half of me with the computer
Sarah Arceneaux:working properly. And the regional manager once everything
Sarah Arceneaux:was done, who's the head of the group that I was there was about
Sarah Arceneaux:30 People said before everybody gets off the phone, I'd really
Sarah Arceneaux:like to say how much I appreciate Sarah's efforts here.
Sarah Arceneaux:Because I was not just a Franklin Covey facilitator,
Sarah Arceneaux:which there's nothing against Franklin Covey facilitators or
Sarah Arceneaux:any other company. But what he said was, the training material
Sarah Arceneaux:was so much more impactful, because it was coming from
Sarah Arceneaux:somebody who's been with our organisation for a long time,
Sarah Arceneaux:who knows them as managers, who knows our business and could put
Sarah Arceneaux:real life examples from our business and from what I've
Sarah Arceneaux:dealt with in our human resources department into action
Sarah Arceneaux:and speaking with them and being able to really say, like, we're
Sarah Arceneaux:talking about building trust with our teams, and we have the
Sarah Arceneaux:people who instal the billboards and the people who sell the
Sarah Arceneaux:billboards. And one of the biggest things that we hear in
Sarah Arceneaux:HR is that there's kind of a divide between the front of the
Sarah Arceneaux:house and the back of the house and building that trust is one
Sarah Arceneaux:of the most important things and and they told me that they could
Sarah Arceneaux:really hear and that point was driven home for me because I had
Sarah Arceneaux:all those eggs examples that I could that I could employ in our
Sarah Arceneaux:discussion, as opposed to someone from Franklin Covey who
Sarah Arceneaux:might be able to start that discussion, but not be able to
Sarah Arceneaux:go through it all. And so I really did almost cry when he
Sarah Arceneaux:told me that I'm like, keep it together, you're on video with
Sarah Arceneaux:all these executives, but it was so fulfilling to hear from
Sarah Arceneaux:somebody, I respect it so much that my efforts were
Sarah Arceneaux:appreciated, and that they understood because he was like,
Sarah Arceneaux:this was a lot of material for you, to learn and to teach us.
Sarah Arceneaux:And so we just appreciate your effort. So it was extremely
Sarah Arceneaux:rewarding.
Melinda Lee:Oh, that's beautiful. And what are the
Melinda Lee:magic, what a what a great thing to instil like, not only just
Melinda Lee:teaching, but you're really instilling the trust in these
Melinda Lee:employees and the staff and executive and that really makes
Melinda Lee:a difference for them. And then for having to have them to help
Melinda Lee:them to have it hit home for them. And, and then to get the
Melinda Lee:feedback from the executive that you really respect. And you did
Melinda Lee:it. So that's all from think about is all from you going
Melinda Lee:through the challenge with Ms. Saying no saying yes to your
Melinda Lee:help. And then this opportunity for this new position or this
Melinda Lee:new role? That is so much better for you more fulfilling? And?
Melinda Lee:Absolutely, it's,
Sarah Arceneaux:it's been a whirlwind. And when I graduated
Sarah Arceneaux:school, I wanted to be the VP of HR at a company or open my own
Sarah Arceneaux:consulting firm. And I think that my biggest message to
Sarah Arceneaux:people out there is, no matter what you come across, know that
Sarah Arceneaux:you can adjust in a way that you will be happy, I never would
Sarah Arceneaux:have thought that I would be happy, being a professional
Sarah Arceneaux:development manager for the next 50 years of my life. And I
Sarah Arceneaux:really could be because it's such fulfilling work. I don't
Sarah Arceneaux:necessarily need to be the VP of HR over 30 people in order to be
Sarah Arceneaux:successful, I can be successful in my own right, by helping
Sarah Arceneaux:leaders be the best leaders that they can be and just adjusting
Sarah Arceneaux:that mindset of I don't necessarily have to be the top
Sarah Arceneaux:dog. I can be. I can be what's the word I'm looking for. And I
Sarah Arceneaux:can be inspiring and impactful in my work without being the top
Sarah Arceneaux:of the the top of the tear of the department. Yeah,
Melinda Lee:I mean, what is success? Right? Is it really a
Melinda Lee:title? Right? Is it Oh, really, right? No, no, it's not. I took
Melinda Lee:me
Sarah Arceneaux:a minute. So to my mom, my mom, you are going to
Sarah Arceneaux:be interviewing as well. And she is the top dog and she has been
Sarah Arceneaux:my inspiration my whole life is to be just like her and get a
Sarah Arceneaux:master's degree, which I did and, and try and get into
Sarah Arceneaux:leadership. And I learned a lot from her. And I'm super excited
Sarah Arceneaux:to watch her podcast recording as well.
Melinda Lee:I know, I'm excited to have her. She'll be here next
Melinda Lee:couple of weeks. And so what is what about the MS in your life
Melinda Lee:right now? Like how is that also played out in your life? And in
Melinda Lee:your, how you see yourself? Or do you not? Like yeah, what is
Melinda Lee:that? Like? Um,
Sarah Arceneaux:it's one of those things where whenever I
Sarah Arceneaux:was diagnosed, I used to be like, I have good days and bad
Sarah Arceneaux:days, but it's mostly good. And that was more of a placation for
Sarah Arceneaux:other people than it was for me because in reality, I have my
Sarah Arceneaux:new normal consists of basically a low level of pain. So most
Sarah Arceneaux:people would call that a bad day. Right? Right, I've come to
Sarah Arceneaux:the point where it's like, I am not in a great place. If I'm in
Sarah Arceneaux:really bad pain, I have a relapse, what have you for a
Sarah Arceneaux:couple of weeks. But if I'm just at my base level of my new
Sarah Arceneaux:normal, where my foots Dragon, my wrist is dislocating my
Sarah Arceneaux:migraines happen and all that kind of stuff can happen. But as
Sarah Arceneaux:long as I have the support of my friends, my family, my job,
Sarah Arceneaux:who's very supportive and has lovely accommodations for me,
Sarah Arceneaux:then I can get through anything. And as long as I have that
Sarah Arceneaux:support, and as long as I listened to my body, then I can
Sarah Arceneaux:succeed. And most days I'm doing pretty good. I've gotten on a
Sarah Arceneaux:good metal medicine regimen and advocated for my health and I do
Sarah Arceneaux:physical therapy. I do all those kinds of things to keep my
Sarah Arceneaux:stamina up and I don't plan on slowing down anytime soon. So
Sarah Arceneaux:no. Yeah, I think I think I've I've gotten into the good groove
Sarah Arceneaux:of things where we've got the right medicine, the right
Sarah Arceneaux:support. I also married a physical therapist, so I won the
Sarah Arceneaux:lottery on that one. Um, so it's good. It's good, happy, happy.
Sarah Arceneaux:Willie married with two little pups trying to grow a family and
Sarah Arceneaux:do it all, while taking care of myself at the same time.
Melinda Lee:Yeah, that is the epitome, I think most of them
Melinda Lee:will want to be where we want to be. Right handling.
Sarah Arceneaux:I don't do it gracefully all the time. But I
Sarah Arceneaux:try.
Melinda Lee:Hey, there, we're here. It's always we're always
Melinda Lee:evolving, always evolving. And I think you are an amazing
Melinda Lee:powerhouse. I always saw you, as see you as a powerhouse. Because
Melinda Lee:you, you have a confidence about yourself, you walk in, and you
Melinda Lee:have this presence. And then you make people laugh. And then and
Melinda Lee:then and then you know, I would have never known about all these
Melinda Lee:things about you, you deal with so much. And yet, it's still you
Melinda Lee:continue to go through, you continue to rise, and especially
Melinda Lee:in the role that you're in and powering people is just so
Melinda Lee:suitable for you. And Lamar advertising company is really,
Melinda Lee:really lucky to have you they know that. And so it's been
Melinda Lee:really fun today, and thank you so much for sharing your story
Melinda Lee:and your insight. What would you what is a one piece of advice
Melinda Lee:more if you would like to share with people about using their
Melinda Lee:voice about using your voice about unleashing your leadership
Melinda Lee:voice? What is the key thing that they can do? So they might
Melinda Lee:be really not using it and and understanding the power behind
Melinda Lee:it, they might be afraid. And so what is the one key advice that
Melinda Lee:you can give?
Sarah Arceneaux:I think my biggest piece of advice, and the
Sarah Arceneaux:hardest thing you taught me to do is breaking free from the
Sarah Arceneaux:script, breaking free from what you think other people want you
Sarah Arceneaux:to say and saying what you actually think needs to be said.
Sarah Arceneaux:I think that I used to be like, Okay, this is what I should say
Sarah Arceneaux:in HR world. And this is what the book says, and this is what
Sarah Arceneaux:my experience shows and then try and think through all that write
Sarah Arceneaux:the perfect script. And then I go to train somebody and I don't
Sarah Arceneaux:say exactly that. And I'm like, I didn't get my point across.
Sarah Arceneaux:And the biggest thing that I learned is, especially with this
Sarah Arceneaux:Franklin Covey stuff, it's six hours of material, which that's
Sarah Arceneaux:a lot of stuff that I can miss. But I realised that as long as
Sarah Arceneaux:I'm inspiring them to go back and try and build trust within
Sarah Arceneaux:their teams, and I did my job, and being able to get out of my
Sarah Arceneaux:head and say if I didn't say every single thing that I
Sarah Arceneaux:planned, as long as the big message gets across, right, then
Sarah Arceneaux:you're done. You're in the right place, and you're in that sweet
Sarah Arceneaux:spot.
Melinda Lee:Totally. Yeah. Like having that trust. That was
Melinda Lee:enough. Like that's so important. And we are enough.
Melinda Lee:And what I said is enough, I think many of us will try to
Melinda Lee:over teach try to give too much information and we got to cram
Melinda Lee:it all in. And then I love that you got to that point of that
Melinda Lee:was enough. I did what I did, the big thing that I need to do
Melinda Lee:is done and we're good.
Sarah Arceneaux:Yep. Before you having 20 minutes taken out of
Sarah Arceneaux:my presentation would have wrecked me because I'd be like,
Sarah Arceneaux:how do I take 20 minutes out and I immediately was like two
Sarah Arceneaux:videos remove that activity going. Alright, let's go. And I
Sarah Arceneaux:was ready to roll and it was amazing. I was like, I still
Sarah Arceneaux:don't know how you did it. Melinda. Magic.
Melinda Lee:Did it. You did it. We did it. I am so appreciative
Melinda Lee:of you. Thank you so much, Sarah for sharing your expertise, your
Melinda Lee:experiences and your time today with us. Really appreciate you.
Sarah Arceneaux:Of course. It's my pleasure. Thank you Melinda.
