How To Become The Person Who Can Create Anything By Learning How To Do What You Say You Will. With Mande John - Ep: 060

Welcome to chic coaches coaches, I'm your host candy motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you were meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started.

Hi, friends, and welcome to she coaches coaches. Today I'm interviewing one of my clients. She's a new coach, and her name is Mande John, and I am excited to introduce you to her. This is going to be a free form discussion. I've got a few questions prepared. But we're going to be kind of organic and just see where the conversation takes us. Now she is a new coach. She's a new graduate from lcsw, also known as the Life Coach School, and she is an ADHD coach. As always, I like to take a few minutes and introduce her to you. I like to do this first, because I'm always so happy to bring you some of my clients. But also, because I want her to know how much I appreciate her and really recognize her talents and gifts, and the change that she's going to bring to the coaching world. I only invite a very select group of my clients onto this podcast because I want you and when I say you, it's the new coach who is listening. Or if you're a person who's wondering if you should become a coach, I want you to hear coaches all kinds of coaches and hear about their journey, the ups and downs and the behind the scene wise, like why did they become a coach? And what's their journey been like so far, it gives you the listener, someone to connect with a different personality so that you can see yourself in their story. Hey, and I also want you guys to know that I am asking you and inviting you to a more active role other than just sitting back and passively listening. Here's a little tip before we get into this interview, so you can get more from each of these episodes. So you could ask yourself, one or all of these four questions for every guest episode that you listen to. First question, how am I similar to this coach? And what can I learn from their journey? The second question, what challenge has she overcome? And what can I take away from this? Number three, how have I grown from listening to what she has to share? And finally, the fourth question, what is the one thought idea or approach that I will take away and apply in my life? Okay, so now let me introduce you to Mandy. She is a wife, mom and a new life coach. She's recently competed completed her coach training, and she is now certified with lcsw, the Life Coach School. And she's settling into her niche as an ADHD coach as well. Here are a few things that I've noticed about her as we work together over the past few months. First, she's a go getter. She takes an idea and runs with it, she puts it into action. And best of all, she takes it shapes it and makes it her own. She might modify it to suit her business, her style or her client. And I love that I love that initiative. She is decisive. This is a major skill that serves her well. She decides and then she gets to work implementing. Finally, she's motivated by love, pure and simple. I have found her open and curious and always with this underlying flavor of love in everything that she does. So when I think of Mandy, these three words or phrases, these are the ones that came up. The first is loving kindness. The second is open curiosity. And the third is decisive go getter. So welcome, Mandy. I'm so glad you're here.

Oh my goodness, that introduction is amazing. Thank you.

So I'm glad Good, I'm glad. So let's talk about why coaching like why did you decide to become a coach?

Oh, well with LCS before that they have self coaching scholars, which is something I signed up for where we learn to coach ourselves and others. Just getting such amazing results from that. And I kept hearing, if you like self coaching scholars, when you get certified as a coach, that's just twice as good. And so I, I just went for it. And I was just getting such results by learning about my thinking and being aware of my feelings and and how to take action on all of that. It just opened my mind to a whole new worlds. And it was what I had been missing my whole life. Nobody taught me this in school.

Yeah. What were some of the results that you notice? Like, what was some of the first gains that you had by learning how to coach yourself?

Gosh, some of the first ones were really being a person that did what they said they would do. That was that was one that I just remember, and I think we discussed this in coaching. But I just remember the spot in my bedroom, and I tell all my, all my clients this that are my ADHD moms that work with me, but there was a spot in my bedroom. And I remember standing there and just thinking, if I could just do what I say I'm going to do, everything would be different. Like I would have everything I want in life. And I just didn't know how I could make that happen. I kept trying and saying I would do these things and knowing what I should be doing. But I couldn't make it happen. But once I learned the model, and how your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings, you take action from those feelings. And then that's how you get your results. Um, it was magic, you could plug anything into that. And as long as I know, you're big on the feeling line, you know, the heart, the heart of the model. As long as I could feel the way I needed to feel, and know what I needed to be thinking I could do whatever I said I was gonna do. That's what made it different. That was, that was a major difference.

Yeah, you know, I'm not an LCS coach. But I use the model extensively. And I've studied under some coaches that are LCS coaches. And what I found is I like I call it like the key, it's like the magic key that you've always been looking for the model. And it never, it never gets tired. Like no matter how often I use it, how often I teach it, how often I talk about it, I still learn something new. And when I say learning something new, it's not just like creating new facts for my little brain. But it's the way I look at life a different way. I am more autonomous, I'm more in control of my life, my reactions, my results that I create. And honestly, it's just one of the best things, one of the best things that I've ever learned. Yeah. So tell me now that you have made some real progress as a coach, can you tell me about what excites you most about being a coach, like what is possible for you, and what is possible for the world because of you being a coach? Yeah,

um, when I got off my first call with my first person that I worked with, I was like high on life, that's when I knew like, this is my calling to be a coach. Like, I was always looking for that thing where I could really make a difference in people's lives where I could really help. And I realized that coaching was that thing. And as I worked with person after person, like, I realized that more and more, that's where I make a difference. And now that I'm a person that does what they say they're going to do that can actually follow a calendar that can get up and go to bed at the same time, every day, all these things that I thought were so mundane, but actually were the key to living a good life, being mentally healthy, really, helping a lot of the issues that we deal with with ADHD. And so now that I understand how to make anything happen, and how to create good habits, and how to help my people create good habits, like, I'm unstoppable, they're unstoppable. We can do anything.

That's so cool. Yeah. And you use that word key, again, to which is interesting, you know, it's like when I think of a key, I always think of the lock and the key. And that, you know, every problem could be viewed as a lock, and the key is a solution. And it's not. It's as long as it's well matched, you know, and I think that that's partly reflected for you by the people that you serve, you know, you serving ADHD mums, those are the people that you know that you can really help. I think that's pretty cool. So absolutely. Let's just go back to just before maybe even before you joined, self coaching scholars or your certification, what's one thing you wish you had known when you started on your journey? Like what's the thing that you wish you had known before? For,

I think the awareness of my thoughts, and how my thoughts were affecting my results is the big one. Once we kind of have these three stages, right, you, you become aware of them. And then you kind of judge them. And then you get past that judgment. And you just understand that it's normal to have these thoughts that aren't creating the results that you want. And you can be more intentional about your thinking, in order to create what you what you want in life. Yeah,

yeah. And when I talk to people about this, use it your thoughts, create your results, and your thoughts create the quality of your life, and really everything that you have in your life. I always feel like it's the best. And the worst thing all at the same time, like before you get to the part where you realize, you know what, it's just that I've been working on this automatic for so long. But we go through that place of judgment, right. So the place of the best and the worst is the best means. If that's true, that means that I have the ability to do anything. And then the other thing is, it's if that's true, that means that everything that's happened in my life, I have had a contribution to right. So we come to that place of personal responsibility, the best and the worst, you know, like to be to take full responsibility for everything that we've got in our life, the good, the not so good, the not very good at all, the crappy, but that it empowers us, you know, to be able to do that to make that choice and to have that understanding.

Absolutely. As adults. I mean, what other choice do we have, but to take full responsibility for the good and the bad and the ugly? Well,

really, truthfully, I spent a lot of years not taking responsibility. When I first figured it out, I was like, oh, like the dread combined with? I wonder what could happen now, right now that I understand that? Yes. So anyway, it's just, you know, I say this, I like to have these kind of regular conversations, because coaches often think that somehow becoming a coach is like a pursuit of perfection. And it's not, it's a pursuit of being even more human being more wonderful and human, and quirky and odd, right. And so the more we own that, the better it can be.

And that just kind of makes me think, like, are we ever going to be finished? You know, like, you talk about that perfection? Are we ever going to get there? No, we're probably not. But we're gonna sure enjoy the journey a lot more if we're aware of our thinking, and our feelings and our actions and our results.

Yeah. And then a true coaching question, you know, like, what is finished anyway? Like, what would that be? I can't even imagine finished, you know, like, sure. goal after goal to achieve that as one thing, but finished as a different is the end of the journey. Right?

Right. And I think a lot of times, we're expecting to, like, get there. You know, we're going to get to that finish line we're going to, and that just doesn't happen in life. There is no there.

Yeah, yeah. Every time I reach a goal, just as a coach, you know, whether it's number of clients, or income or whatever, I reach this goal, and I'm like, Oh, hey, and I'm still me. Look at that. I did that. And I'm still me. This is cool. Right? So. So let me ask you the next question. What's been your biggest growth as a coach?

biggest growth as a coach? Man, it's almost just right back to that same spot. It's just showing up for myself. And showing up for my clients. That's, that's been the thing. I love my clients, like so much. It's like, they're my sisters, all of them. And everyone I've ever had, it's just so much fun, to be that person that's helping guide them and help them see their mind and help them get where they want to go.

Yeah, it just gives me It always gives me hope for the world. You know, that the more people that get coached, the more people that can expand and live more of the life that they want to live. And more empowered, they are just sets up so much more potential for humanity. As a home. Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about a sticky thing. A little bit sticky. What has been your biggest challenge? Just not not from when you were in self coaching scholars, but just from when you started as a coach to now, what's been your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?

I actually have the perfect one for this and it's about ADHD. I have Thought because they give us these big chunky books, right. And I had a thought that I don't retain information. Because I have ADHD. Those that have it know that often you can read through, especially like a textbook type situation, you can read through that have no idea what you just read have to read it again, start over. And so I brought that thought to my class, and the, the master coach that was in charge of us actually kind of challenged me on it. And that was huge just to realize that that was just a thought that I don't retain information. And I was able to work that through in the coaching session. And I did retain information. But when I was thinking, I don't retain information, I was getting anxious, and I was getting all up in my head. And so I wasn't paying attention to what I was actually reading. And once I let that thought go, I was able to retain all the information I had I needed to retain and more.

That's so cool. Right? Such a great example of how we define ourselves, I am the kind of person who, and then we could get to fill in anything that we want after that. But sometimes we've got that habit, the habit of thinking those thoughts, right. And what you described as instead of focusing on the information, you were focusing on the discomfort in your head, so of course you weren't retaining the information because you weren't actually looking at it. You were looking at what was going on in your own head. Right?

Right. And it's been such a good lesson, because I've had clients that will have like working memory issues. And sometimes it's not so much the working memory issue as it is the anxiety that they're going to forget the appointment or forget to do that thing. Or and so they start telling themselves that they're going to forget. And of course they forget, because they get so worked up about it, that they don't really put it into their memory. And so it's been a good lesson. I've been able to pass that on.

Hmm, that's cool. self fulfilling prophecy, right? Yeah. And we can make those self fulfilling prophecies, something that we actually want, not something that we're nervous about. That's the next step. You know, that's the next step for our clients. Right. So, last question, what advice would you give to somebody who is thinking of becoming a coach?

Oh, I'd say do it. It's going to dramatically change your life. And then you get to change the life of others, like I spent. I'm 42, I believe I might be 43? I don't know. But I spent my whole adulthood, going, gosh, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Yeah, and I was saying that at 41. And coaching, was just the thing that clicked, it was just this is how I help people. This is how I show up in the world. This is how I become more of who I am, and help other people become more of who they are. Hmm.

I can't tell you how common like, it's always such an eye opener to have that feeling when you come to coaching. And most of my clients say it in their own language, but they say the same thing. But it's sort of odd to think in a way right? Like, before coaching existed 2025 years ago, what did people do that had that you know, that what is it? What is it? What is my calling in this life? How and who? And what can I do be have to create some kind of lasting meaning. But when you start with coaching, and you go, Oh, yes, this this is that I want to be a coach. But what did people do beforehand? Any thoughts?

I think they're serving in some sort of way. I mean, that's what we're doing with coaching, right? We're serving our clients. And I think before that, they were just serving in their communities. They were finding people to mentor. They were, you know, helping you think of like grandparents, helping grandchildren teaching them. And I think that's really what it is. It's an act of service. And we've just found kind of in the last 25 years, like a new opportunity for service.

Hmm, yeah. I, you know, I agree with you, in a way and then in a way I'm, like, I'm just thinking of my own personal journey. I spend a lot of time wondering, what am I going to be when I grow up as an adult, you know, and, but it was only when I came to coaching that I said this, this is that and I had been mentoring and I had been teaching and I had been serving, but it still didn't have that same connection. Hmm. And so service question is that, yeah, maybe there's a connection is such a good word. I love that. So this has been great and I am so pleased. We got a chance to chat and do this interview, and I want to make sure that the listeners who are hearing this episode are the ones who are like, I've got to find this woman, I have to find out more about her and what she does, that they have a quick and easy way to continue the conversation. How can somebody find you? How can they find out how to work with you and more of what you do?

Well, I'm learn to thrive at ADHD, all the places. Instagram is where I mainly hang out. But you can also check out my website, www learn to thrive with ADHD calm, and you can see all the places to hang out with me there as well.