May 3, 2022

Fierce Serenity in your Mental Body

Fierce Serenity in your Mental Body

In our 4-Part Series about Fierce Serenity, Jen + Jane explore finding Fierce Serenity in our Mental Body. They discuss how to cultivate the Inner Mentor over the Inner Critic, talk about how mindset can be both a driver and a stumbling block, and how to cultivate practices that support you in finding Fierce Serenity throughout your life.

The next round of Fierce Serenity begins the week of May 15th. Find out more about the program and sign up today. https://www.wearejenandjane.com/fierce-serenity

  

Questions for further guidance:

●     Where do you need to show yourself some self-compassion?

●     Have a journaled conversation with your Inner Critic and your Inner Mentor. What came up for you?

Disclaimer:

On the No Halos Here Podcast, we explore a wide range of topics broadly categorized as well-being. We encourage you to do your own research and make informed choices about your health and wellbeing. The information we provide is never a substitute for qualified advice specific to your individual needs. In listening, you take full responsibility for implementing any suggestions shared on the podcast and you agree to indemnify us completely against all consequences arising directly or indirectly from your choices.

About Jen and Jane

Jen Lang

Jen believes in the power and wisdom of women’s voices. She’s a guide for women who want to tune into and align their inner voice so their outer voice can shine; uniting physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies into a powerful voice ready to share your message.

Jane Stark

Passionate about energetic alignment and living life from a place of personal power, Jane is a heart-centered leader, certified health and life coach, and marketing strategist.  She leads others to play bigger and feel lighter by helping them see and navigate their blocks and connect more deeply with themselves.

Continue the conversation:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/No-Halos-Here-Podcast

Community: Keep up on all things Jen & Jane: http://eepurl.com/hk31JX 

Download the Empowerment Playbook: https://www.wearejenandjane.com/playbook 


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Transcript
Jen Lang:

This is no halos here hosted by Jen Lang and Jane

Jen Lang:

Stark, the place to inspire a change in your consciousness to

Jen Lang:

elevate the world. We're to heart centered business owners

Jen Lang:

nourishing our inner rebels while growing our respective

Jen Lang:

businesses.

Jane Stark:

No halos here is the result of bringing together an

Jane Stark:

opera singer turned spiritual mentor and a marketing

Jane Stark:

professional turned while being coached to meditate daily.

Jane Stark:

Together, we unite physical, mental, emotional and spiritual

Jane Stark:

energies into a powerful presence to lead, heal and

Jane Stark:

inspire. We love exploring the shadowed edges of life, the

Jane Stark:

universe and beyond through honest and thought provoking

Jane Stark:

conversations. Let's dive in.

Jen Lang:

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of no

Jen Lang:

halos here with Jen Lang, and Jane Stark. Hello, hello, hello.

Jen Lang:

We're here. We have had like, a wonderful conversation already

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today. And IRD also shared a presentation this morning on

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advanced voice techniques for decision makers, very technical,

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and sort of Brainiac sounding title for this presentation,

Jen Lang:

which actually went great. But in the sport that

Jane Stark:

was more in the government, corporate space,

Jane Stark:

which is, right, so you're taking this content that we talk

Jane Stark:

about all the time, in a more spiritual way, I guess.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, we usually talk about this content in a more

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spiritual, and I suppose solopreneur type context. And

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what I did was I took a lot of my experience and some of the

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stuff that Jane and I have talked about, and I reframed it

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into the language and framework for government and large

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organizational structures. And it went great. So I'm going to

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actually take some of the material from today and readapt

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it for today's conversation, which is about fear serenity, in

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our mental world, and meaning like the world in our heads, and

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the multiple voices that we have going on in our heads. So Jane

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was like, Jen, I think you should take the lead on this

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conversation, I will ask a few questions. That might be some of

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this today. However, I don't know, I think it's still going

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to be free flow, there's going to be some conversation here.

Jen Lang:

And yeah, it's when it gets so fresh in your mind. So it is

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super fresh in my mind. And in the context of the fierce

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serenity peace, we still talk about this inner mentor and

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inner critic element. So when we offered your serenity, the first

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time around, and we talked about the inner mentor and inner

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critic, there was I took people through a meditation, and that's

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a lot of what we do in the program is we have a topic and a

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piece of material. And then we take it into the meditation

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space to explore it a bit more fully. Then we kind of

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visualization visualization. Yeah, we sort of guided

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immersive experience, definitely. And then we look at

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some specific questions around that area of our lives. What

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else? Yeah, so mindset is one of those things that can work for

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us and it can keep us stuck keep us in a stumbling block position

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can be impede our progress. And even in the word mind set,

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you've set your mind to something. And it doesn't really

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allow any flexibility or expansion or growth. It is

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directional in the sense that when you set your mind to a

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goal, that is a very sort of masculine oriented language

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around setting your mind to something or setting your mind

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to a specific achievement. However, if you have a specific

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mind set about a topic or about something, then it doesn't leave

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space to breathe or space for that other elements of that

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topic to expand on. So this is a little bit of what we wanted to

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bring to the table today with sort of the mental state and

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fierce serenity. The other thing we wanted to talk about was the

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inner critic and the inner mentor. And again, this is the

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meditation piece, but it's also so often I talked about, you

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know, driving the bus of our lives. And so often the inner

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critic is right there in the front seat beside us. And often

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the inner critic is driving the bus. You don't even realize the

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inner critic is driving the bus until you look around and go

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where the hell am I? I didn't

Jane Stark:

sign up to seen it. That's often our default. Like,

Jane Stark:

why is that? Why is it by default?

Jen Lang:

I'm curious about that, too. Yeah,

Jane Stark:

I think offering that it's a bit of a rhetorical

Jane Stark:

question but

Jen Lang:

yeah, I'm sure there's research on it I think yeah, I

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think part of it personally without obviously having done

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any any research into the into any of this I answered brain

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science behind it, I bet you a part of it is evolutionary,

Jane Stark:

survival based survival based, you have to be

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on the lookout for threats. From a evolutionary perspective, we

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would have been trained, or our brains would have been, quote

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unquote, trained to be to do that threats. And, and we've

Jane Stark:

evolved to a place where, you know, you've heard before that

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it's interesting how we live in probably the safest version of

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the world that we've ever lived in, which is relatively speaking

Jane Stark:

of weird to say, right now. Yeah, relatively speaking. We're

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not out, you know, hiding from a saber toothed Tiger. Anymore

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type thing, but our brains have not caught up. Yes to that. So

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anyways, this episode was not going to be about us trying to

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neuroscientists.

Jen Lang:

So I can put some more of those resources in the show

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notes back out of that path

Jane Stark:

I just took my brain goes big existential questions

Jen Lang:

like, yeah, it does leave room.

Jane Stark:

So but I think you're right. It also, it also

Jane Stark:

makes me think of something we've talked to think a bit

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about here on before but that you and I have talked a lot

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about, and I've studied is these ideas of resonance fields. And

Jane Stark:

when we get really stuck, you know, kind of what you're saying

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about mindset, if we're so locked into something, believing

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that something is one way and black or white, yep, we're then

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kind of stuck in this on this resonance, and there's no room

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to move, and, and even create open up possibility for

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ourselves. And that sort of, I think ties into Yeah, this inner

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critic and inner mentor. And, you know, driving, who's driving

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the bus, yeah.

Jen Lang:

And encouraging your inner mentor to be is beside you

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in the front seat. So it's not that the inner mentor needs to

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drive the bus, you need to drive the bus of your life and your

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existence and your reality. And your inner mentor needs to be

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beside you being that navigator and let the inner mentor be the

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navigator, not the inner critic. Because if the inner critic is

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the navigator, you're going to end up driving in circles. So

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the inner critic still needs to be with you because they still

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serve a purpose to bring your attention to risks and to bring

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your attention to possible roadblocks, and workarounds that

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you need to come up with. But the inner critic can be in the

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back of the bus.

Jane Stark:

Yeah, so it's not about never having that inner

Jane Stark:

critic or that negative net. Well, I mean, there's negative

Jane Stark:

self talk, but that, yeah, that, that critic, that little kind of

Jane Stark:

voice. It's there for and serving a purpose. But it sounds

Jane Stark:

to me like having awareness. It's that bringing it to

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consciousness and awareness more and more and more so that we

Jane Stark:

actually can catch it and be like, Oh, right. That's what

Jane Stark:

that is. I don't need that right now.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, recognizing, I think that single exercise in

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observing when your inner critic is driving the bus is really

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powerful, because it can show up anywhere, it can show up in your

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morning routine as you make your cup of tea or your cup of

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coffee. And you might have this thought pattern going of, oh,

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you know, I really sucked at this thing yesterday, and why

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didn't I do better? And you beat yourself up? And all of a

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sudden, you're like, Wait, how did I get here? Oh, oh, I was on

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autopilot and the inner critic took over. And then you can back

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that up and you can observe and go, Oh, no, you don't get to

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drive anymore, back back to the back of the bus. Then you can

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once you observe, then you can notice it and do something about

Jen Lang:

it. Right? But if you can't see it, then how do you ever know?

Jane Stark:

Okay, so if we back that up to another step, how,

Jane Stark:

what are some ways to start to even see that because I think

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sometimes we become so tone deaf to it, as well, right? That we

Jane Stark:

don't even realize that we're the language we're speaking or

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how we're, how we're

Jen Lang:

I feel like a lot of it is tied to our emotional

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state. So our mental state is closely tied to our emotional

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state and what's happening around us emotionally, and our

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physical state. So like, the first question I would ask of

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myself, would be a did you have enough sleep? Be have what have

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you been eating? And see? Was it food, sleep? social life? Have

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you had a social life? Or have you been head down connection?

Jen Lang:

Yep. Have you had that connection point? That would be

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like the physical thing I would be looking at. If those if any

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of those three things are, you know, whatever's going on in

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your physical life. Are you sick? You know, are you not

Jen Lang:

feeling well, for women, especially where are you in your

Jen Lang:

hormonal cycle? Because the hormones will also affect your

Jen Lang:

ability to manage that voice effectively.

Jane Stark:

Yeah, that's been a game changer for me. Actually.

Jane Stark:

I've noticed that definitely where I can now pinpoint

Jane Stark:

oftentimes I'm in a certain point of my cycle. And I just

Jane Stark:

feel like I just noticed the mental chatter, the like,

Jane Stark:

overall, like, sometimes it's like dramatizing things and

Jane Stark:

becoming bigger. And then you know, I'll move through that

Jane Stark:

stage. And a couple days later, I'm like, oh, okay, I actually

Jane Stark:

don't feel nearly as charged about that, or the world's not

Jane Stark:

ending or, you know, whatever. The thing is, that so

Jen Lang:

much of that is awareness of your physical body

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and your surroundings.

Jane Stark:

I think it's also important to I think a lot of

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the times though, sometimes, again, because we can't, it's

Jane Stark:

really hard for us to sometimes see these patterns or the

Jane Stark:

language, it's, it's really helpful to have somebody outside

Jane Stark:

of you, whether that be a therapist, a coach, a friend

Jane Stark:

who's really good at this, but it has to be somebody who's

Jane Stark:

going to kind of call you or point these things out to you

Jane Stark:

not just support us in Yeah, like, let's, you know, let's go

Jane Stark:

down that path. And oh, I feel the same way too. Like, they

Jane Stark:

can't kind of corroborate with you. But I've really found that

Jane Stark:

really helpful, where it's like, okay, I'm hearing like, in, you

Jane Stark:

know, even just in your language, that you're being

Jane Stark:

really hard on yourself, or, you know, you're being really

Jane Stark:

critical. You know, things like that have been really helpful

Jane Stark:

for me to have it pointed out, and then I can be like, Oh,

Jane Stark:

okay, yeah, I see that, and then I can start to catch it myself.

Jane Stark:

So that

Jen Lang:

would be that's awesome. I've, I totally agree.

Jen Lang:

And having that trusted person in your life, whether they are

Jen Lang:

professional, or a trusted friend or family member who can

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lovingly and with compassion, point out a thought pattern or

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behavior pattern that is keeping you small or keeping you stuck.

Jen Lang:

That that is a really great step towards recognizing whether your

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inner critic is of driving the bus or not. The inner mentor

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piece that you can sort of cultivate your inner mentor

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needs you as much as you need them. So I think one of the

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helpful exercises I've ever done, including, obviously a

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meditation or visualization to meet my inner mentor, is to have

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sort of journaled conversations with them have a very simple

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question like, Hey, how's your day going? Oh, it's going good.

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You know, Oh, buddy, what do you need today? Oh, you know, and

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just writing out very simple. Five minutes of journaling?

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Well, what do you have to share with me today in our mentor?

Jen Lang:

Well, I really like the way it's a practice, it's going to feel

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awkward and clunky at first, because we're not used to having

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a conversation with in our head in our heads with with ourselves

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with us, you never know. And so, it might be that you have a

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daily check in with both the critic and the mentor, and say,

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Hey, critic, how's it going, I see that you're here,

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acknowledge them, because they still want to be seen and

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recognized. And say, you know, I'm not feeling like, I'd like

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to hear from you today. So I'm going to ask you to be like,

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right on the roof of the bus today. I don't even want to see

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you. And then maybe you talk to the inner mentor and say, Hey,

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mentor, I would love to have you right beside me. And I really

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need some words of reassurance today. What have you got for me?

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Or I just need you beside me that that really, I don't know,

Jen Lang:

that's just a way to use those inside voice inner mentor,

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outer, sort of inner, your inner critic pieces to your benefit

Jen Lang:

that can help ground in that fierce serenity that you're

Jen Lang:

looking for? Because we don't have serenity, if our critic is

Jen Lang:

driving the bus?

Jane Stark:

Yeah, I think another exercise sometimes that

Jane Stark:

I've done is just sort of that brain dump. So if there's

Jane Stark:

something on my mind, just starting to brain dump

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everything that's going on and my feelings about it, like it's

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making me feel this way, right, like, and just getting it all

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out and then going back and reading it. And it's you can

Jane Stark:

start to sort of see like, oh, wow, okay, yeah, this is my

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inner critic talking. Or Yep. You know, and starting to see

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like, the language or maybe your inner mentors talking to, you

Jane Stark:

know, and starting to see the different the different voices

Jane Stark:

in our head. But yeah, when we're totally unconscious to it,

Jane Stark:

then it's, it's totally controlling, and we don't even

Jane Stark:

realize it.

Jen Lang:

Yep. So if you're listening to this, I'm having

Jen Lang:

this aha, sudden realization that your inner critic has been

Jen Lang:

driving the bus a little too frequently. This is your

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invitation to have a quick word with them and say, I'd like to

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drive for a while. I do not need your input or your I need you to

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shut up. You can always ask them to shut up. And it's just I

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don't need you in my life as frequently as you have been.

Jen Lang:

That's probably a good way of looking at it. Then Jim Have

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your mental world and this fierce serenity space that Jane

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and I talk about. You know, sometimes our day to day

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activities can be so overwhelming for a variety of

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reasons, physical, emotional life, news, kids, you know, all

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the all the all the stuff that goes on in our day to day lives

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that that check in might not even be feel accessible right

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now. So I think that the easiest thing to do in that space is to

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go is actually the acronym halt H A Lt. Am I hungry, angry,

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lonely, or tired, or all of the above or some of the above. And

Jen Lang:

breathe. Just take a breath.

Jane Stark:

Yeah, tending to those basic needs is one of the

Jane Stark:

like the core foundations. Any kind of work that we do in this

Jane Stark:

space, right?

Jen Lang:

Breathing and coming back to your physical body, like

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having a place on your body that you can touch that is

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reassuring, and grounding for you, I think is one of the best

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ways to come back to home in yourself. If things get feel

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overwhelming, or if your inner critic is overactive, and really

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excited to share lots of non unhelpful things with you today.

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Then come back to your body first and maybe like touch your

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leg or have your hand on your heart or have your hand on your

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belly. So that you can just come back to you here now being

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present. I think that's a bit of a mindfulness piece as well. And

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then you can ask the question, Am I hungry? Check in Hey, body,

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are you hungry? Nope. Okay. Hey, everybody. Do I? Am I holding on

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to any anger? Or any other emotion that's keeping me tight

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or stuck? Yes, maybe? All? First of all, is that anger yours? Or

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is it someone else's? Check in with that. Are you feeling

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lonely? And in other words, have you had supportive social

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interactions recently? either in person or online? Have you

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picked up the phone and called a friend or has a friend called

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you? Or maybe that feels too difficult? And you actually need

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some alone time with yourself? And then are you tired? Like we

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talked about with the physicality space? Are you

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getting enough sleep? Are you getting enough water? That kind

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of thing? Um, yeah, finding that fierceness. Sometimes we just

Jen Lang:

need to dig deep to move through our day. And it's okay to have

Jen Lang:

those moments.

Jane Stark:

And that is part of the fierceness. Right.

Jane Stark:

Absolutely. I think when we talk about fierce serenity, the fear

Jane Stark:

sometimes fierce is doing the hard thing that we know we just

Jane Stark:

have to do and, and getting getting to the other side of it.

Jane Stark:

Yep. And that's takes mental grit.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, I like that description, mental grit. And

Jen Lang:

it's, it's also obviously, we've seen this so much over the past

Jen Lang:

couple of years with the pandemic and with, you know,

Jen Lang:

world events unfolding as they are, that mental grit is needed.

Jen Lang:

But it doesn't have to be your every day.

Jane Stark:

Well, and I think, yes, and it should be your

Jane Stark:

everyday, right, because I think that's where we excuse me, yeah,

Jane Stark:

that's where we need that ebb and flow. And that's where it

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even feels like fear serenity, I think that's a big part of what

Jane Stark:

fear serenity feels like to us is that ebb and that flow

Jane Stark:

because if we get stuck in, I think a lot of us have

Jane Stark:

experienced this right? With everything that's being fired at

Jane Stark:

us, especially for the last two years, it has taken a lot of

Jane Stark:

mental grit for us to stay above water. And, and everyone has

Jane Stark:

their own individual experiences of that. And, you know, one of

Jane Stark:

the things that obviously, you and I talk a lot about and know

Jane Stark:

is it is finding those moments of serenity within that it is

Jane Stark:

figuring out how do we intend to and take care of our mental

Jane Stark:

world and our mental body when we are being rapidly fired out

Jane Stark:

with all artists? Yeah, and with a ton of fear.

Jen Lang:

And it's also that's like, it's so true. And it the

Jen Lang:

other piece of it is that you also have to create that space.

Jen Lang:

Yes. It's like no one's going to give you that time except you.

Jen Lang:

No one's going to give you that space, which

Jane Stark:

is why we keep hearing turn off the news or do

Jane Stark:

a social media detox or other things. It's because that is a

Jane Stark:

way of you putting up a boundary to protect your mental. Your

Jane Stark:

mental world. Yeah. So you So this is another, this is one,

Jane Stark:

this is the second of the four pillars that within this within

Jane Stark:

our program. So the next couple of weeks are going to be going

Jane Stark:

just giving you a little bit of insight into the other two

Jane Stark:

pillars that we touched on and kind of talking about them. In

Jane Stark:

our, in our course, we go a little bit further into what

Jane Stark:

they mean some tools and tactics. But I think again, one

Jane Stark:

of the biggest areas is we actually we take participants in

Jane Stark:

to an immersive experience around each of these different

Jane Stark:

topics.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, if you want to know more first serenity begins

Jen Lang:

the week of May 15, we would love to have you into this

Jen Lang:

beautiful space, this container to explore this more fully and

Jen Lang:

more deeply for yourself. It is a program that is designed to be

Jen Lang:

a part of more than once. So if you would like to be a part of

Jen Lang:

this fierce serenity round, we would love to have you. It is

Jen Lang:

$900 for this six week experience. And we we have

Jen Lang:

designed it so that you come out the other side with a

Jen Lang:

definition, a clearer definition of what fear serenity means for

Jen Lang:

you. And we do that through exploring each of these energy

Jen Lang:

bodies in your life. And taking you down a path where you can

Jen Lang:

look at them with more clarity and the real the real gold is in

Jen Lang:

that discussion in that magic. And in that immersive experience

Jen Lang:

on those calls. We will put a link to the program into our

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show notes otherwise you can find out more at we are Jen and

Jen Lang:

jane.com/fierce-serenity ad. We got it fierce dash serenity. So

Jen Lang:

yeah, and obviously reach out to us. If you have any questions.

Jen Lang:

We are on the socials send us a DM on Instagram. And I think

Jen Lang:

that calls it for the day that you know, take care of your

Jen Lang:

mental health people say so easily take care of your mental

Jen Lang:

health. Well, what does that mean? What does that mean? Means

Jen Lang:

you recognizing that you need the space to do that creating

Jen Lang:

the space to do that. And

Jane Stark:

check what it is you actually need.

Jen Lang:

Yeah. Do you need more socializing? Or do you need more

Jen Lang:

alone time? And then give that to yourself and give that to

Jen Lang:

yourself? Yep. Because you deserve it. And you are totally

Jen Lang:

worth having a mental state that is clear and works for you in

Jen Lang:

every aspect of your life.

Jane Stark:

Beautiful. All right,

Jen Lang:

wrapping it up there. Have an awesome week. We'll talk

Jen Lang:

to you next week when we cover Wait, we're going to cover the

Jen Lang:

emotional body. But wait, wait, there's more. We're gonna talk

Jen Lang:

about the emotional body. There's lots more correlation

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between the emotional and the mental body in terms of fear

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serenity, so we'll catch you next week. Bye for now. Thanks

Jen Lang:

for joining us for these conscious combos. If you're

Jen Lang:

ready to dive deeper, head on over to Dr Jenn and jane.com to

Jen Lang:

continue the conversation.

Jane Stark:

If you love this episode, please take a moment to

Jane Stark:

share it with your friends or your network and leave us a

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review by going to Apple podcasts. Find us on Instagram

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at we are Jen and Jane and let us know what you enjoy and what

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you would like to see more of. We'd love to hear from you.