When Boundaries Are Love

Today's episode revolves around the profound significance of boundaries, which we assert are not merely barriers, but rather essential frameworks for fostering love and respect towards oneself and others. We recontextualize the concept of boundaries, traditionally perceived as harsh confines, into bridges that facilitate clearer communication and deeper connections. Boundaries serve as vital expressions of care and self-respect, allowing individuals to safeguard their emotional and energetic well-being. We examine the many forms that boundaries may take—be they emotional, physical, or temporal—and underscore their role in establishing clarity, safety, and trust within interpersonal relationships. As we navigate through the complexities of life, we invite our listeners to reflect on where boundaries may be necessary, thereby enhancing both personal and collective well-being.
Takeaways:
- In this episode, we explore the concept of boundaries as essential expressions of love and care towards oneself and others.
- We must understand that boundaries are not punitive or rejections, but rather avenues for deeper connections and mutual respect.
- Identifying the signs of needing boundaries is crucial, such as feeling overwhelmed or saying yes when we wish to decline.
- The act of communicating our boundaries should be approached with compassion and clarity for effective relationships.
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Email: hh@chrysalismama.com
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00:00 - Untitled
01:21 - Untitled
01:36 - Understanding Boundaries
02:27 - Understanding Boundaries as Tools for Connection
03:09 - Recognizing the Need for Boundaries
04:59 - Navigating Boundaries and Kindness
06:26 - The Radical Act of Being Human
08:25 - Introduction to the Movement
Welcome back to More Human, More Kind.
Speaker AI'm Heather Hester, and today we are diving into one of the most powerful acts of love we can offer ourselves and others.
Speaker ABoundaries.
Speaker AWe often think of boundaries as walls.
Speaker ACold, harsh, uncomfortable.
Speaker ABut what if boundaries are actually bridges?
Speaker AExpressions of care, clarity and self respect.
Speaker AWhat if, as Prentice Hemphill said, they are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously?
Speaker ALet's begin by trying to reframe them a little bit.
Speaker ABoundaries are not ultimatums.
Speaker AThey're not punishments.
Speaker AThey're not a form of rejection.
Speaker AThey.
Speaker ABut they are a form of deeper connection, not disconnection.
Speaker AThink of them as invisible lines that help you protect your peace, your energy and your truth.
Speaker ALet's reposition them as necessary acts of love for self and others.
Speaker ABoundaries help establish clarity, safety and trust.
Speaker AThink of boundaries as an equation.
Speaker ABoundaries equal expectations plus values made visible.
Speaker AThey create space for true connection, not control.
Speaker ABoundaries are not static or rigid.
Speaker AIn fact, they can be used in a multitude of ways.
Speaker AFrom emotional boundaries to physical ones, time based boundaries to energetic ones, and so on.
Speaker AHere are a few signs you might be needing a boundary.
Speaker AYou're feeling resentful.
Speaker AYou're saying yes when you want to say no.
Speaker AYou're feeling overwhelmed or unseen.
Speaker AThese are just a few signs, invitations to pause and reassess.
Speaker ASo first, identify where that resentment or burnout or confusion shows up.
Speaker AName the feeling.
Speaker AWhat's off?
Speaker AWhat behavior or dynamic doesn't feel okay anymore.
Speaker A2.
Speaker AClarify the need.
Speaker AWhat's missing?
Speaker AAsk yourself, what am I?
Speaker AI willing to change?
Speaker AAnd three, communicate with compassion.
Speaker ATry one of these three lines first.
Speaker AI care about you and this is what I need.
Speaker AOr I'm not available for that, but here's what I can offer or this isn't working for me anymore.
Speaker ACan we find a new way forward?
Speaker ABoundaries come up everywhere.
Speaker AFrom parenting a teen who's testing independence to navigating emotional labor and relationships, to carving out, I.
Speaker AE.
Speaker AProtecting your time to rest.
Speaker ACreate or breathe.
Speaker ABoundaries are love in action.
Speaker AThey say, I matter, you matter.
Speaker AAnd we can do this with honesty.
Speaker ANow we will talk about handling pushback with grace in another episode.
Speaker ABut remember, you do not need to explain or justify your boundaries to anyone.
Speaker AWhile they may disappoint others, they are not a betrayal.
Speaker ASo ask yourself, where do I need more clarity?
Speaker AWhere could kindness and boundaries coexist in my life?
Speaker AThese are the conversations we need to be having right now.
Speaker AGentle, honest, and deeply human.
Speaker AWe're living in a time of.
Speaker AOf so much noise, of polarization, of systems breaking down and hearts breaking open.
Speaker ASo what do we do with that?
Speaker AWe slow down.
Speaker AWe listen.
Speaker AWe gather around stories around truth, around vulnerability.
Speaker AThat's the movement I'm inviting you into.
Speaker ATo be more human is to stop hiding, to stop pretending.
Speaker AYou have to be perfect or polished to be worthy of love or respect.
Speaker AIt's the radical act of saying, I am messy, I am growing, and I am enough.
Speaker ATo be more kind is not to be nice.
Speaker AIt's not performative.
Speaker AIt's not surface level.
Speaker AIt's choosing compassion when it's hard, choosing clarity over comfort.
Speaker AChoosing to see someone, really see them, even when you don't agree.
Speaker AKindness, real kindness disrupts hate.
Speaker AIt heals shame.
Speaker AIt opens space for belonging.
Speaker AThis podcast isn't just a show anymore.
Speaker AIt's part of something bigger.
Speaker AIt's a movement toward listening instead of reacting, being curious instead of certain.
Speaker ARepairing instead of defending.
Speaker ASeeing the human before the label.
Speaker AYou don't need to be perfect to join this conversation.
Speaker AYou just need to be willing to show up.
Speaker ATake a breath.
Speaker AYou belong here.
Speaker AThis week, I invite you to choose one area in your life where clarity could replace chaos and where kindness could include you.
Speaker AIf this conversation was helpful today, I ask three things.
Speaker ASubscribe to, Follow and share More Human, More Kind subscribe to the Midweek Breath newsletter and join the Patreon community.
Speaker AYou are worthy of boundaries and you are worthy of love.
Speaker AWelcome to More Human, More Kind.
Speaker AWelcome to the movement.