#170 | 5 Ways Parents and Allies Fail LGBTQ Kids Without Realizing It—And How to Change That
Pride Month Series | More Human. More Kind. with Heather Hester
In this deeply reflective episode, Heather explores the profound truth that your response becomes your child’s inner voice. When a child comes out or shares something vulnerable, your words matter, but so do your tone, body language, and presence.
Going beyond “getting it right,” this episode dives into the real power of intentional, aligned communication: what you say and how you say it. Heather shares personal stories, practical strategies, and a research-backed look at why nonverbal language is just as important as the words we choose.
Plus, in this week’s Listener Queer-y, we explore the history and reclamation of the word “queer” - where it came from, what it means now, and why context and consent are everything.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why your child’s sense of safety is shaped by more than just your words
- How tone, facial expression, and body language often speak louder than words
- What it looks like to repair after getting it wrong (and why it’s never too late)
- How to align your intention with your presence
- The historical evolution and current significance of the word queer
Featured Research:
Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s “7-38-55 Rule” of communication
(Silent Messages, 1971) – highlighting how 93% of emotional communication is nonverbal.
Listener Queer-y of the Week:
What’s the history of the word queer and is it okay to use?
Three Key Takeaways:
- Your first response matters, but so does your follow-through.
- Language shapes identity. Using affirming, aligned communication is an act of love.
- Repair is possible and powerful. Mistakes aren’t the end; they’re invitations to grow.
Celebrate Pride with Us in The Kind Space!
This month, you’re invited to join The Kind Space - a private community where compassion meets action, and where allyship becomes practice.
Pride Month Perks for New Members:
✨ 50% off your first month of membership
📘 A signed copy of Parenting with Pride - Heather’s heart-centered guide to unlearning bias, embracing your LGBTQ+ child, and leading with love
Inside The Kind Space, you'll receive:
🌀 Private podcast episodes
🌿 Bonus reflections and guided practices
💬 Monthly live Q&A calls
💛 A community of brave, kind humans walking this path with you
You don’t have to do this alone.
Reflection Questions:
- What messages - spoken or unspoken - did you internalize growing up?
- How might your language (tone, posture, words) be shaping your child’s sense of identity?
- What’s one phrase, gesture, or tone you could shift today to affirm your child more fully?
This show explores connection, courage, and community for every concerned parent, mom, or ally navigating fear, grief, and bigotry with hope, resilience, and empathy. Through open-minded education, inclusive parenting guidance, and advocacy for mental health and safety, we support LGBTQ youth and stand for human rights and social justice. More Human. More Kind. empowers listeners to shift their mindset, embrace activism and allyship, and lead with kindness, healing, and purpose.
Find out what kind of Ally you are!
Connect with Heather:
Join the Kind Space on Patreon
Give a copy of Heather's book, Parenting with Pride.
Join Heather's Substack and Mid Week Breath weekly newsletter
Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe to, rate, and review!
Work with Heather one-on-one or bring her into your organization to speak or run a workshop!
Email: heather@heatherhester.net
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Blubrry - https://create.blubrry.com/resources/about-blubrry/privacy-policy
