Empowering Leaders Mastering Self-Awareness, Adaptability, and Authentic Leadership with Ann Rindone

Catharine O'Leary: Hey, everyone, and welcome back to kickstart the conversation. And I am very excited to have Ann Riddim Riddim. I'm not right Rindone wow, I really got it wrong. And I, you,

you are many, many, many,

Catharine O'Leary: you're not alone, and our senior leaders to comprehend the mindset behaviors, shaping their decisions, she's really effective and making sure that the leaders of today and even the leaders of the next generation, are stepping into that leadership and that executive role, whether you're a solopreneur right now, and you're building a team, or you're this, you know, the CEO of a small business, or, you know, medium sized business, or hey, you know, what, if you're CEO of Pepsi, off you go, but really, you know, making sure that we are creating the leaders and leadership of people that are really stepping into that role of being ambitious, accomplished, straightforward, without being labeled as, especially for women in particular, but you know, people that, you know, like, you're coming up the ranks, and all of a sudden, you're the B word bitch, or the, you know, overly aggressive or, you know, why did I hate I come from corporate, I've heard it all, and has a sugar free approach, which is, is kind with an empathetic stance resonates with the sort of direct communicators, those who are decisive, competent, independent, she helps them leverage their strengths to overcome challenges, and cultivate critical leadership acumen. And I love and because she is straightforward, but honestly, she does it with such heart, and such, you know, just to make sure that we all have the language that we need to get our point across, without, you know, coming across, as, you know, a note all or coming across as you're not listening or, you know, it's a balancing act. So and please correct me if I got any of that wrong.

I think you did a fabulous job, Catharine. Thank you. Yeah. And it's as it is, for all of us. It is a journey, for sure. It

Catharine O'Leary: definitely is. So tell us a little bit about, you know, kind of the people that you serve, and what exactly you do with them, because I kind of rambled a little bit there. Yeah, it's

okay. It's okay. You know, it's been evolving over time, for sure. I, I have traditionally coached a lot of women, doesn't mean I don't coach men, I have a lot of men as well. And it's, it's not so much about gender, as it is about a very specific personality type that I coach. And I love coaching, that leader who is direct, who is candid, who is really transparent is a go getter, get it done. And that has served them very, very well in their early career. And as they progress through, they find that all of a sudden, it just stops. And the good reviews stop, the promotions stop. They see everybody around them advancing, and they're not. And they're confused, they're frustrated, they know they're good, they know they're smart, but what happened. And a lot of the times they say people say I'm intimidating, and that pisses me off. Well, okay.

Catharine O'Leary: Or people say

that I'm a bull in a china shop, you know, there's all of these little, you know, terms, either the B word or otherwise, that they're tagged with. And I find that when, when this personality type that I love, which just shows you that I love myself meets up with somebody who isn't afraid of it welcomes it, finds the strength in it, but also, you know, has the ability, which I do to challenge them to make some observations that, quite frankly, they need to hear. And they thank me when I do when I share how they're showing up. And they've just had this confusing part of their life that they're frustrated with in their career, and no one will tell them what's wrong, but they tell them that they're doing it wrong. So in I step, and I really helped them gain the self awareness to see a different perspective to really step back and maybe even admit some things to themselves that they didn't necessarily want to admit as they were going along. So that's really who I serve a long way of saying direct and senior leaders who are very driven, who want to get past this career frustration, and advance into the executive roles that they were on path to get to, and so that they can be a leader who is respected, which requires them to respect other people. And imagine that, and that they can get back into, you know, their get back into their mojo, get back into what's what's what, what they're what they're good at, what what gives them life, and do it in a way that they have people who want to work for them and with them.

Catharine O'Leary: And this is this is equally as important for the people that are small business owners, you know, building like building a team when you're in charge. And now you have to be, you know, you might have come from corporate I mean, I came from corporate, but I was never, I was never the CEO in corporate per se. But now I am now. And now as I build my team, how do I be the CEO that, you know that? Because because entrepreneurs are very driven, very blunt with themselves and can be with their team, and you know, you kind of kind of running without a filter sometimes.

Yeah, and it's interesting, because sometimes not all the time, sometimes people end up in entrepreneurship, and starting their own thing, because they haven't figured this thing out. They're like, you know, what, the only way that I can get over my frustration is to bail out a corporate, and I've just done and so they end up as solopreneurs entrepreneurs, small business owners, and it doesn't mean that they've necessarily addressed the thing that made them abandon their former life. Yeah. I was just gonna say it's like, people I know who have moved away, because this town was horrible. And I'm just gonna go somewhere else. I'm like, Well, you know, you pack your problems with you, right? You don't leave them behind. Yeah,

Catharine O'Leary: you gotta you gotta get to the root cause. So how do people know that they need your help? Like, how, like, what point do they get to? Where they're just like, Okay, I need maybe a mirror put up in front of me here. Something's going on here. I'm not seeing it. Yeah,

well, and it's just that it's, you get to a point of, I think I've done the work. I've asked the questions. I am so confused and frustrated and just sick of it. I need some, I need some help side help. So it's when they get to that level have enough is enough. I know people don't like me, and I don't like that. I don't like myself, quite frankly. And it's important enough for me, I think they kind of have to get to that point where they admit. All right, I am the common denominator. What do I want to do about that? Yeah. And sometimes it sometimes it comes through a self discovery. Sometimes if you're still at the big company, it comes through enough bad reviews and enough times to be told you're not moving any further to say, alright, then I need to figure out why.

Catharine O'Leary: Are there key words that are used? or kind of like, like, I mean, that you're being what you said intimidating? Like you know, you're told that you're intimidating that you're maybe aggressive that that you're not listening like what what are the kind of what are some key characteristics that hey, look, Type A personalities that like all this child here, like though I got all the baggage, like, I got all the things. So I get it, I get told it all the time. So you know, like, what are those things that they're hearing?

It's usually preceded by the word to tea. Oh, as in you're too much. You're too aggressive. Your tone is too harsh. You're too intimidating. You're, you move too fast. You so it's always that, okay? I'm just too much. Fantastic. That has a lot to do with that. You know, and so tone is the tone always comes up. Everyone always tells me I need to fix my tone. Okay. Let's look at that. And there's all in the Listening thing. Thank you for bringing that up. That one is always there too. And so it's it is a joke, but not really. It's one of those painfully funny things is that I spent a good chunk of my corporate career being told I don't listen. And so rather than actually address it, I laughed it off by saying, Why are you going to tell somebody who doesn't listen that they don't listen to you think I'm gonna listen, listen. And when I finally got in a place, which was coach training, where I learned what actual listening is, I was able to say, Oh, now I get what they were saying. And so just even that little tiny thing gave me so much more motivation to say, there is this pool of people who really want to understand the feedback that they're getting. And the people that are giving them the feedback, don't know how to explain it. And I want to help those people, because they tend to be natural born leaders, this is what they've been told, because it's true. And but they start to over rotate on their strengths, and then they become liabilities.

Catharine O'Leary: And it's very difficult to know what to do with I'm too much. What does that mean? Like, how do I, I don't know how to dial that back. It's like I am, I don't know how to do that. Like, I don't know how to do me any other way. But these aren't things that are necessarily that, you know, like you're these are, these are communication styles. And, and these are learned behaviors, like these are things that you can take on and, and there are tactics and techniques and, and things that you can do to improve on your communication style, on the way you're showing up on the way that you are receiving information, so that you can get past this, you know, too much quote unquote, you know, persona.

Yeah, so it requires a great amount of self awareness. And it's, it's interesting, because a lot of my five star client, my target audience, but everyone I call them, a lot of them say, I am nothing if I'm not a self aware, like, okay, let's, let's see how self aware you are. Um, and it's when when I hear that, I'm like, Oh, this is gonna be fun. It's gonna be a lot of fun, because it's really more the coaching and the guiding them through that self awareness. So if you go back to listening, did I intuitively know that I didn't know how to listen, maybe. But it was the self awareness of the impact that that had on other people the impact that that had on me. But what it really meant for me to learn how to listen did not at all change who I was. No, of course not. But that is what too much my too much people. They're like everybody is just basically tell me telling me I'm terrible who I am I have to change. It's like, no, actually, you don't. That's the first thing. You don't have to change. However, let's talk about how do you adapt. And it's the understanding that adaptation isn't giving in adaptation is a great amount. And I use this word not in a negative way. There's a lot of power and adaptation. Because it it's not manipulation. But it is it is stepping outside of yourself. It has stopped being so internally focused, and really focusing on the other person in front of you. And understanding what do they need that I can deliver on. So learning about communication styles, learning about what yours is versus other people. All of that really starts to build the self awareness. And when the first time that somebody who has not had success with somebody who's the opposite of their personality, the first time they've had success, because they took a different approach. They're like, Oh, my gosh, that was amazing. Yeah, it was. And so when I say there's a lot of power, and it's just very powerful, and motivating for yourself, and it helps you work through that confusion and the frustration because you understand it better. And the other thing about I'm an assessment junkie, I love them, because they're data, not because they're labels, hate labels love data. And what I find with a lot of my clients is that they tend to test outside the norm. Does it make them better? Does it make them worse? Does it make them different than a majority of the population that in and of itself, to say, oh, okay, I'm not crazy. I'm just different. And that's why all of these people over here get along because they're, they're more like each other in their personality in their, you know, how they manifest their natural strengths. And to be outside the norm. It it sucks for me to have to say it and it's a terrible thing to realize. You do end up with a little bit more of the heavy lifting To find ways to adapt to other people. And once you embrace that, because it's not changing who you are, once they see who you really are at your core, then you're in you are, you have a greater sense of belonging, because you're not fighting against it, you're working with it with the skills and strengths that you have.

Catharine O'Leary: Well, and I can just imagine that as you as you add those skills and strengths to your toolkit, that you like, you're becoming a more effective leader, like you're stepping into the leadership that you're, that you want the promotion to the leadership role, but you're stepping into being that leader and and that identity that's gonna make that climb through the ranks a lot easier.

Well, right. And if you if you think about it, if you if you picture a leader, you picture somebody at the head of the pack, and everybody is following them. But if you're not looking back behind you, it's kind of like the the leader who walks backwards. Yeah. If you if you don't see it, that people are falling behind that you're running, and they're walking at a good pace. If you don't see that, then you're not leading. You're, you're actually running, you're running away. That sense. So yes, they get to step into the leader that they are, but they do it in a way. That is, like I said, walking backwards to see that people are following and to help bring them along, as they do it. So you're still in the lead. You're just doing it from a different perspective.

Catharine O'Leary: Yeah. And you're it's not that you've fundamentally changed your identity or your character. You're just you're just adding a layer to it that that helps you along. You stepped into it more. Yeah,

yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, and then you any new actually addressed the too much, whatever. Because a lot of times it is a strength that they used too much. So when leaders when leadership, your natural leadership skills, turns into control, that's too much. So recognizing the qualities of a good leader, and not overusing those qualities, the control goes away. And you're still who you are.

Catharine O'Leary: I'd like that. That's great. I like that. And I think I think you actually do have a gift for us today to help with some of the too much this I?

I do. I do. So I coach a lot on assertiveness because of the the way that people have been told you're aggressive. You're intimidating. So my gift is the do's and don'ts of mastering assertiveness. And it's all about what it takes a look at what are you doing that might come off as aggressive, don't do that do this instead, this is the assertive way. And when you make that shift, you start to see that baked into that is how much you are paying attention to what the other people need in front of you. huge, hugely associated with influence. And how just tweaks, not wholesale changes. This is a course redirect how just a few things doing slightly different the biggest out what what kind of big change that that can bring for you.

Catharine O'Leary: Yeah, because yeah, just even the smallest little like, word change or mindset change to listen a little bit more than before jumping into a solution or a conversation like that. Just even a little tweak can can make a huge difference. I

would think it made Yes, absolutely makes a huge difference. And the interesting thing is it that it actually alleviates pressure that you don't realize that you're putting on yourself. So even going back to this thing, like if you walk into a meeting thinking I have to have the answer I have to talk first I have to do this. You know what, if you sit back and listen, you alleviate this like it's like the you're letting the pressure out of the pressure cooker. A little Yeah. Yeah. Not putting all of that on yourself. And you get to learn when you're listening. And if you're not listening, you're not learning learning a darn thing. But it's It's hard to teach somebody, anything that already knows everything. Yeah. And the do's and don'ts of mastering assertiveness can be found. It can be found at ARC a RC coaching solutions.com be found at my website, and it's right there on the homepage. And you can follow me on all my little social links when you get there.

Catharine O'Leary: Perfect. And that will be in the show notes, of course. So anyone looking to master assertiveness and or just, you know, maybe you're, you're being, you know, you're hearing that you're a little too much. And you want to know what the hell that means. Maybe, maybe giving an a call is is the right thing to do. And you can find her again at art coaching. solutions.com. So thank you, Ann, for being on the show today really appreciate you spending the time with us and giving us some tips and tricks on how to be exactly who we are, but maybe just a little bit, listening a little bit more maybe being assertive instead of aggressive, and, and just having some more fun with people. And and and, you know, getting the the promotions and the team members and the respect in the in the leadership that you deserve. So thank you all. Thank you for coming out. And thank you all for listening. And until next time, stay curious and ask all those questions.