Tiny Habits, Big Breakthroughs - The Path to Sustainable Success with Ronnie Loaiza

Hello everybody and welcome back to the podcast.

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This is the Collaborators Unite podcast.

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Chuck Anderson here, your host.

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And this is the show where we serve what, who we call big impact entrepreneurs.

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And that's you if you're looking to make a big positive impact in the lives of your

clients, the people you work with, your communities, and even the world.

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And when you set a big goal like that, like making a big positive impact, there are good

days, there's bad days, there's...

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challenges along the way that we're going to experience.

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uh And some of which have to do with our habits, the things that we repeatedly do.

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So I thought it would be really fun to talk about that and uh have uh a guest on to talk

about that who I have experienced.

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I have heard her speak about this topic and I'm like, yes, that's the one.

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So I have Ronnie uh Loaiza here with me today and

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She is gonna, we're gonna talk about habits, we're gonna talk about whatever else we feel

like talking about, but that is the main theme of the episode.

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Ronnie, welcome to the show.

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I feel welcomed, especially when you said the word fun.

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like, Ooh, I'm going to like this.

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Cause often people put habits, you know, they start thinking, okay, okay, I know I need

good habits.

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need, I need better habits.

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And they get a little stressed, anxious.

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They're still interested, obviously, because they seek out to learn the good habits.

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But I like that you use the word fun and that has a lot to do with how you create habits,

by the way.

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I'm really glad you said that because sometimes we don't think of the fun and the impact

that that can make in our businesses, the work that we do.

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And I have a good friend that says all the time that if it's not fun, it's not worth

doing.

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And so I love that.

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Well, let's start, Ronnie, have you tell everybody a little bit more who you are, the work

that you do and.

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Whatever else you want to tell us about your story, how it came to be that you're doing

what you're doing now.

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And that'll be a launching pad for the topic.

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Okay.

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Remember cliff notes or am I dating myself?

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Um, here's a really fast cliff note.

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I don't think they exist anymore with AI, but I was a personal trainer.

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And the reason I became a personal trainer from being in PR, also in news, I used to, um,

do news in LA on radio is because, that, that for me, that just started fading.

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Like you said, if you're not having fun, what's the point?

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Um, I wasn't watering the grass there anymore and my health was taking a toll.

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Fast forward after many Western medical doctors, chiropractors, acupuncture, you name it.

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I tried everything, my back, my hip hurt.

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I was finally after doing all that, I was put with a chiropractor who really listened.

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That's the key thing.

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Really listened to me and said, you know what?

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I think you've been pounding the heck out of your body.

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And guess what?

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You're getting old.

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Okay.

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I was 45 and I was like, okay.

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And he's like, meaning.

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that you being as short as you are and you pound the heck out of your body.

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Cause I used to do step aerobics.

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Remember that?

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Um, I used to run, jog, all this stuff, dance.

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And he's like, and you don't really weight train.

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I'm like, well, I dabble, I go around, I try out the machines, but I didn't really know

how to weight train.

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said, well, as you, we've talked all about menopause and everything, but he said, you need

to boost your metabolism and you need body, you need more muscle and you need to know how

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to do it properly.

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And you need more bone density, which was true because I was, I had osteopenia, which is

on the range of just about to get osteoporosis, which is lack of bone density.

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So he put me with a corrective exercise, personal trainer.

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Like, okay, I'd had personal trainers before.

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my gosh, Chuck, I didn't know what a really good personal trainer was until I had a good

personal trainer.

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No shade on the other ones.

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The other ones knew their stuff, you know, but they kind of went with the cookie cutter.

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Here's your workout.

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Talked to me during the whole session.

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I found out more about them than they did about me.

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Uh, counted reps.

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She really knew her stuff in corrective exercise.

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I not only lost body fat, which I didn't need to, but I lost body fat because I was

getting lean, my metabolism boosted, I was building muscle.

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I felt so much better.

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I did not need to get my back fused.

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I now have five herniated discs.

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I worked with her and within two weeks, the lower spine, the L's, stopped hurting because

I was working out not so well for me.

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Anyway, I got so enthusiastic about it after a year, my insurance stopped paying for it.

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She's like, you need to be a personal trainer.

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You need to be a personal trainer.

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I was 46.

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I'm like, who does that?

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Especially in LA, this is like Lala land.

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Everybody's in their twenties, you know, working at a gym.

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But then I thought about it one day.

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I'm like, you know what?

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I think I'll become a personal trainer.

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And my mission, Chuck, was for each client to be as fit as that person could be.

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Not the magazines, not the other goals, as you can be.

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And in my personal training, I'm getting to the habits.

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I saw that my clients, you know, all the joking aside, but I made it fun is all the

successful ones.

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Not that I didn't have successful ones, but yeah, some people kind of wane away and they

leave and they quit.

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But the ones that didn't quit is because it became a habit.

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I would joke around with some people like you get dressed at work to go work out.

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They're more than likely to stop at the gym if they're dressed for it.

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You go, don't care if you people watch in the lobby for five minutes, you show up same

time and it became a habit.

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Inevitably they would do more, right?

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Just the point of doing it, not how much or the workout.

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And people would ask me, well, should I do this or should I do that?

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Should I do cardio or should I do Pilates?

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Yes.

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What?

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Do what you will do when you're not with me.

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Because people, what will you do when you least feel like it, when you're not motivated,

when you feel lethargic, what's the minimal amount that you will do?

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Not even can you do that you will do.

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Do something you enjoy.

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So I would get them in the habit of doing something.

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Fast, fast forward, pandemic hit.

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Um, I was training people driving all over LA and boom, I couldn't drive to them anymore.

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And people got on zoom with me and I got at least four people like, you know, my

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boss, my sister, my good friend, they weren't working out.

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They weren't taking care of themselves or eating right.

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Everybody wanted to be indispensable.

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So I thought, well, maybe it's because, you know, they're the boss and they have to take

care of business or they don't want to be furloughed or laid off.

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So they're always available, whatever it was.

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It really wasn't about the time issue.

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We had the time, but they were anxious times.

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It was always something else.

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And I would really get into it with them and see what's really holding you back.

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Some of them were self-conscious working out at home.

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So we kind of dealt with that with the kids working out the dining room table, the partner

at home asking for help.

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We really worked it out.

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Some people it was the schedule five minutes in the morning, five minutes in the

afternoon, five minutes before you make dinner, whatever it was, we found a way to get

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them in habit.

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Notice the word habit.

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I was not a habit coach.

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I just kind of did my own thing.

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And people were telling me you should really coach.

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I thought they meant fitness coaching.

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What they really wanted was a mindset coach, a lifestyle coach, whatever.

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I was cynical, Doug, because all of a sudden after the pandemic, I had never heard so much

about coaches in my life.

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Did you?

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Everybody was a coach.

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Everybody because it's the only thing we could do without leaving the house You could do

it on zoom.

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Yeah, I'm a coach

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And the thing is there were real coaches that take it seriously and learn whatever it is

that, that domain, that area.

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And they're the ones that just say, well, I did it once, right?

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I took this mini course and I'm a coach and you know, you got to be careful.

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I took it seriously.

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I went through the ICF accreditation, international coaching federation.

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I did the 150 hours, the mentor, the auditing, the whole thing.

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Wow, I loved it.

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I love behavior science, behavioral change.

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I studied that for continuing education as personal trainer as well.

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And so I decided to become a coach, got my certification, have gone up a level.

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So I'm a master certified professional coach, because I was coaching people in their

careers and career growth, transitions, life transition, midlife, all these things.

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I, Ronnie, started putting in my personal style of how they could take action.

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Most of the things people wanted to do,

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They wanted to implement these programs, plans, courses that they would buy, and it would

just fall off by the wayside.

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They would go in their computer modules, never to be touched again.

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Why?

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because it's not what they were doing in the first place.

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They were trying to add to their busy schedule.

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So I would take him back into what is the minimal amount that you will do because a fast

hack, a program, a challenge, a detox, a diet will get you on track.

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Well, what keeps us all on track, whatever you're on track every day, guess what?

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That's a habit.

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So I started implementing that.

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Algorithms started acting up again.

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I started seeing habits everywhere.

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Don't think of pink elephants.

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You see them everywhere.

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Just like coaching.

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And I found out there's such a thing as habit certification.

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So I picked a good school, went through it, took my exams, failed the first time.

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I was so upset.

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I'm like, I'm the worst SAT tape.

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There were multiple choice.

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I'm like, darn.

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If they just asked me, I could explain, took it again, passed.

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I'm a certified habit coach.

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And I take it seriously because I do implement it in a lot, not every client, but I

implemented in most of them.

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How will we take that first step and then put it on autopilot?

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Because momentum always overrides motivation.

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Momentum feels a lot better in a celebratory in and of itself than constantly being

self-disciplined.

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or constantly revving up that willpower.

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That's what leads to burnout.

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That's what leads to be exhausted by it.

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There's so much about your story that I love.

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uh One thing that really stands out to me that you said is that it's more about what you

will do, not about what you can do uh or want to do or wish you were doing or should do.

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Yeah, like there's all the different ways of looking at it, but what will you do?

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um

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What are some of the things that you're not so the people who come to you now for help,

what are they saying?

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Like, like, what's their current experience?

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What is their struggle?

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What is the the thing?

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I've tried this and I'm doing this and I really wish I was doing that and all the things

like what are you hearing from them?

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Obviously, you help them and we'll talk about the other side.

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But what's their current struggle?

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What are you hearing from them?

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Great question.

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In fact, I'm going to write about it because I've seen now in my practice, literally

coaching people that not everybody sticks with the first steps.

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Everybody.

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Okay.

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Two things.

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One thing is people come to me, what are some good habits?

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Come on, you can Google it.

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You can go on any AI and you'll get seven top habits for this.

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10 great habits, two good habits, whatever.

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I can give you a list, who cares?

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Just like when I was a personal trainer, look, I can give you a workout.

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You can YouTube it as well.

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It's the habit of it, right?

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So the main thing is, well, that depends what habit you should you have.

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Go back.

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What is your goal?

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And we've all heard of the why.

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Be really clear on your goal and really know your why.

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Why do we always hear about that?

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Because it's necessary.

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It's like scrubbing in before surgery.

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People forget to go back.

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to the ground floor, they want to start with step one, right?

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So you have to go to what's your goal, then reverse engineer it.

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Well, what would have you do?

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What's the minimal amount that will not only get you on track, but keep you on track, even

if it's the most minimal progress for that day, that particular day, because things come

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up.

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You know, you get sick, the kids school calls, whatever.

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And, but if you do that one habit because it's automatic, it's part of you.

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It will keep you on track and keep progressing.

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Usually it's more, you end up doing more, but at least you're doing the very minimal

amount.

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So when the first thing is people ask is what good habits can I create?

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Let's get to your goal.

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And then we work backwards and it's a process.

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We choose one tiny and I mean tiny and the key word is one action that with repetition,

repetition, repetition will naturally.

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form into a habit.

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And that's why we have to look at all these actions that are possible.

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have them go through this process of picking 10 actions and at first they're like 10 and

they do.

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And then they want to do at least three or four.

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It's like, I can do this, this and this.

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Yeah, you probably could, but let's just focus on one because people always want to go

fast.

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They want it in two weeks, three weeks.

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It may take months.

224

00:13:26,607 --> 00:13:30,890

And also I really want to warn everybody and please research me.

225

00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:32,645

Do your due diligence.

226

00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:40,279

There is no proven secret sauce number of how many days or hours it takes to form a habit.

227

00:13:40,279 --> 00:13:44,141

People will tell you 21 days, 30 days, 90 days.

228

00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:48,564

It depends who you are and it depends on the action and on the context.

229

00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:49,784

It really does.

230

00:13:49,784 --> 00:13:57,792

And all the meta studies show, and I'll stop being a brain yard, but all the meta studies

of when they compile different studies from different areas in different years show that

231

00:13:57,792 --> 00:14:02,053

it can take from literally 25

232

00:14:02,053 --> 00:14:03,826

to 185 days.

233

00:14:03,948 --> 00:14:07,265

So don't buy the days that's marketing.

234

00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:22,504

You know, I love everything you just said and I think it's it's the most honest answer

that I've ever had when talking about habits and goals, know, achieving goals and all of

235

00:14:22,504 --> 00:14:26,157

that because everybody wants the convenient answer the sound bites.

236

00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,238

it takes 21 days.

237

00:14:27,238 --> 00:14:33,364

It takes three weeks or, you know, do this an hour a day for 90 days or whatever it is and

then it'll be automatic.

238

00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:41,880

My experience with myself, some habits are easy to put in place, some not so much, right?

239

00:14:41,901 --> 00:14:44,944

Like going to the gym, not my favorite thing.

240

00:14:44,944 --> 00:14:48,277

It gets back to what will you do and what should you do.

241

00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:49,709

So it's still a should for me.

242

00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:56,655

um But there's other things that I do, especially when it comes to my business that are

really easy for me to do.

243

00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:59,672

And I know that if I do those things repeatedly, they're gonna get.

244

00:14:59,672 --> 00:15:00,632

to a certain result.

245

00:15:00,632 --> 00:15:15,675

And so there's a direct correlation in my mind between the goal I want to achieve and the

habit that, and I think there's, and you can correct me because you're the habit expert,

246

00:15:15,675 --> 00:15:23,000

but I always look at it as, go, there's habits that if I do this thing repeatedly, it's

gonna get me closer to that goal.

247

00:15:23,161 --> 00:15:29,746

But then on the other side, there's also habits that I'm currently doing that could be

taking me further away from that goal.

248

00:15:29,826 --> 00:15:32,191

You know, is that accurate in your mind?

249

00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:32,865

Yeah.

250

00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:33,946

Yes.

251

00:15:35,312 --> 00:15:36,985

Can you think of one real quickly?

252

00:15:36,985 --> 00:15:38,139

Share.

253

00:15:38,139 --> 00:15:40,543

One that's keeping you from your goal, any goal.

254

00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:41,941

Yeah, for sure.

255

00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:49,605

So one of the things is that we wanna grow our events uh over the next year.

256

00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:52,857

We wanna triple the size of our virtual events.

257

00:15:53,118 --> 00:16:00,942

And one of the things that I feel like that needs is some very dedicated focus on that

goal.

258

00:16:00,942 --> 00:16:07,944

uh One of the things, this is, I've always joked about this with my other entrepreneur

friends.

259

00:16:07,944 --> 00:16:12,756

is that I can sneeze and have a thousand new ideas and I wanna do them all.

260

00:16:12,897 --> 00:16:26,795

And so my bad habit is I get an idea that I think is so good that it takes, it diverts my

focus and I'm like, ooh, I wanna do that now uh in conjunction with this other thing.

261

00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:35,522

And at one point, and I kid you not, I had a planning system that I created where I could

simultaneously manage

262

00:16:35,522 --> 00:16:38,124

habits for about 10 different goals.

263

00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:39,945

And I'll tell you how well that worked.

264

00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:41,186

It didn't work at all.

265

00:16:41,186 --> 00:16:50,552

It failed miserably, like crashed and burned really, really, really bad until I learned to

focus on the thing that matters to me the most.

266

00:16:50,612 --> 00:17:01,660

you know, it's for me, my, the awareness of the habit that takes me off track is this, you

know, getting a good idea and many of them are good and I want to do them all.

267

00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:05,082

And it's learning how to uh decide.

268

00:17:05,206 --> 00:17:09,005

Is this really what I'm doing right now or is this not what I'm doing right now?

269

00:17:09,005 --> 00:17:09,275

Right.

270

00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:17,612

And I'm so glad you use that because one of the main things I'm going to have it in a

workshop I'm holding, it's going to be a monthly workshop, but the first one, maybe I

271

00:17:17,612 --> 00:17:20,254

shouldn't say the date, but the first one is coming up.

272

00:17:20,254 --> 00:17:21,464

can give you the link.

273

00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:23,036

Okay.

274

00:17:23,036 --> 00:17:27,549

One of the main things is people don't know where to start because they have so many great

ideas.

275

00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:28,430

Right.

276

00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:31,292

And so it's your habitual way of thinking.

277

00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:34,585

That's your habitual way of approaching a new goal or the main goal.

278

00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:35,387

Right.

279

00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,227

That's your habitual default MO, Chuck.

280

00:17:38,227 --> 00:17:39,487

That is your MO.

281

00:17:39,507 --> 00:17:39,907

Wonderful.

282

00:17:39,907 --> 00:17:41,687

It's great to have a lot of ideas.

283

00:17:42,207 --> 00:17:43,567

Let's say this is hypothetical.

284

00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,987

I'm not coaching you right now, but let's say hypothetical.

285

00:17:45,987 --> 00:17:56,047

What's the one thing that will, you, instead of the habit of doing, and I think you might

be mistaking a habit for a to-do.

286

00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:58,007

A habit is what you do naturally without thinking about it.

287

00:17:58,007 --> 00:18:01,947

What you do consistently every day is a habit.

288

00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:05,563

So what's the one thing that will always take you to that main goal?

289

00:18:05,563 --> 00:18:08,003

whether it's one of those things.

290

00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:11,463

So for example, you could schedule today I'm going to work on social media.

291

00:18:11,463 --> 00:18:16,863

Tomorrow I'm going to use this exact same time, but my habit is to work on this goal.

292

00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:21,043

I'm going to use this exact same time for outreach, possible clients.

293

00:18:21,063 --> 00:18:26,303

The next day you may decide I'm going to do outreach to network and get guests and get

experts.

294

00:18:26,303 --> 00:18:27,223

See what I'm saying?

295

00:18:27,263 --> 00:18:28,943

Next day could just be research.

296

00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:35,269

So the thing is you're doing the same habit of dedicating this time for it.

297

00:18:35,269 --> 00:18:38,820

But it doesn't mean you have to do all those things every day.

298

00:18:39,021 --> 00:18:40,521

See, slow it down.

299

00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:45,023

I'll use the easy peasy thing to wrap around your head.

300

00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:52,926

Wrap your head around is when I was a personal trainer, still am, um, people want to

change up the routines.

301

00:18:53,086 --> 00:18:55,387

That's not a habit.

302

00:18:55,467 --> 00:19:00,219

You are in the habit of working out every day or doing something active.

303

00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:04,303

It's weird if you don't, because it becomes part of your identity.

304

00:19:04,303 --> 00:19:06,364

Think of something you do every day without thinking about it.

305

00:19:06,364 --> 00:19:08,904

For many people, we use brushing your teeth.

306

00:19:08,904 --> 00:19:12,545

Some people don't brush their teeth seven days a week, but let's not go there.

307

00:19:12,545 --> 00:19:15,366

But let's just say every day, you don't think about it.

308

00:19:15,366 --> 00:19:17,587

You don't have to think, how do I do this?

309

00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:18,377

Will I do it?

310

00:19:18,377 --> 00:19:20,328

You never pause to think, should I brush my teeth?

311

00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:22,828

You just do it's part of your morning routine.

312

00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,929

It's part of your nightly routine.

313

00:19:24,929 --> 00:19:28,630

So our series of habits make up our routines.

314

00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:32,281

So as a personal trainer, I always changed up their routines.

315

00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:34,103

Today you're going to do this muscle group.

316

00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:35,074

Tomorrow you're going to do something else.

317

00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,025

The next day you're going to rest and take a walk.

318

00:19:37,025 --> 00:19:40,676

The next day, maybe you'll go swimming or somebody's like, I got to get my yoga in twice a

week.

319

00:19:40,676 --> 00:19:42,647

Okay, let's, let's factor that in.

320

00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:47,029

But the habit of doing something is different than the routine.

321

00:19:47,029 --> 00:19:55,072

You should change up your routine and also habits are nature's way of putting us on

autopilot.

322

00:19:55,072 --> 00:19:56,953

So that's what takes priority.

323

00:19:56,953 --> 00:20:00,554

What's already in you autopilot always takes priority.

324

00:20:00,554 --> 00:20:01,987

You do the minimal amount.

325

00:20:01,987 --> 00:20:03,847

of what's important to your brain.

326

00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:14,010

The rest of it, and I'll give you another number, 40 to 50 % of our days, each one of us,

40 to 50 % of it is driven by our habits.

327

00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:15,391

The rest are not.

328

00:20:15,391 --> 00:20:18,391

So actually your habits prioritize.

329

00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,532

The rest of it, good to go.

330

00:20:20,532 --> 00:20:29,494

And it helps you in like, if your kid's school calls or something happens, clients need

you, whatever, things getting in the way.

331

00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,155

So I always put my people on.

332

00:20:32,155 --> 00:20:34,795

Plan A, Plan B.

333

00:20:35,175 --> 00:20:37,495

I plan to do this at 8 a.m.

334

00:20:37,495 --> 00:20:43,035

blah, blah, till whatever in this context, in this room, in this office, at the gym,

whatever it is, right?

335

00:20:43,135 --> 00:20:49,915

Plan B, if fill in the blank, if mud hits the windshield, whatever, then I'll do it, boom.

336

00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,555

If then, if then.

337

00:20:51,555 --> 00:20:54,875

So if I didn't do it at eight, I chose 4 p.m.

338

00:20:54,875 --> 00:20:56,855

Because people don't plan B.

339

00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,635

They just think, okay.

340

00:20:59,148 --> 00:21:02,436

The day went away, the day escaped me, I didn't get to it, this happened.

341

00:21:02,436 --> 00:21:06,564

Always put a plan B, because that's your habit.

342

00:21:06,564 --> 00:21:08,269

The routine is different.

343

00:21:08,269 --> 00:21:09,691

Does that make sense?

344

00:21:09,908 --> 00:21:10,888

It does, it does.

345

00:21:10,888 --> 00:21:16,513

In fact, uh correct me if I'm wrong, but just even the having a plan B.

346

00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:18,714

So here's my plan A, here's my plan B.

347

00:21:18,714 --> 00:21:22,267

And if you always do that, that is a habit.

348

00:21:22,267 --> 00:21:28,000

Like having that in place versus what the actual plan is.

349

00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:38,658

I'm wondering too, because there's so many of our audience members are entrepreneurial,

they uh identify as coaches or transformational leaders.

350

00:21:38,658 --> 00:21:39,158

m

351

00:21:39,158 --> 00:21:44,120

One of the things that I find in this industry is that we are dreamers.

352

00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:47,181

We're very happy, heartfelt people.

353

00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:54,103

We want to see people succeed and we want to also succeed simultaneously by doing the

service.

354

00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:58,024

uh And there's lots of goal setting and there's all these things.

355

00:21:58,024 --> 00:22:05,358

So uh help our audience, like what are some of the things they can do to, first of all, I

think,

356

00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:17,945

have the distinction between a routine and a habit, and then what do they start to do in

terms of making sure that the habits support what they're saying they really want.

357

00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:18,643

Right.

358

00:22:18,643 --> 00:22:18,933

Okay.

359

00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:19,971

So it goes back to.

360

00:22:19,971 --> 00:22:20,813

a deep question.

361

00:22:20,813 --> 00:22:21,905

know there was a lot there.

362

00:22:21,905 --> 00:22:22,453

Yeah.

363

00:22:22,453 --> 00:22:22,964

no, no, know.

364

00:22:22,964 --> 00:22:28,549

Multi-layered, I guess you would put it, is again, keep your eye on the ball.

365

00:22:28,549 --> 00:22:31,601

is it that you really want and why, you know?

366

00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:37,016

Um, but I guess I would say the ground floor.

367

00:22:37,237 --> 00:22:46,184

you're, if you, when you're going through the process of picking an action that will form

into a habit, don't pick a habit, pick an action that will form into a habit.

368

00:22:46,225 --> 00:22:47,625

Does that make sense?

369

00:22:48,627 --> 00:22:48,983

Like.

370

00:22:48,983 --> 00:22:54,860

like an exact so so going to the gym is that's an action.

371

00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:57,033

Yeah, that's an action is part of my routine.

372

00:22:57,033 --> 00:23:01,467

actual exercise, the actual physical thing is your habit.

373

00:23:01,467 --> 00:23:07,511

When it's really raining, I live in Los Angeles, I sometimes think, I don't want to get in

that traffic.

374

00:23:07,892 --> 00:23:09,973

I have to work out.

375

00:23:10,134 --> 00:23:12,836

So I go in my garage, I have all my stuff there.

376

00:23:12,836 --> 00:23:16,019

Or I work out in an office if I want to work up up here.

377

00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,321

Cause my garage is downstairs.

378

00:23:18,321 --> 00:23:21,017

But I have to do something when I'm traveling.

379

00:23:21,017 --> 00:23:22,908

I'm thrown off schedule, right?

380

00:23:22,908 --> 00:23:32,354

I'm used to working out in the evening last thing, shower, I'm all clean, eat dinner,

cuddle with my husband and my cat.

381

00:23:33,034 --> 00:23:37,998

But when we travel, I'm not gonna force my routine on the rest of the family.

382

00:23:37,998 --> 00:23:40,839

Like, we have to go back to the hotel or wherever, because I have to work out.

383

00:23:40,839 --> 00:23:45,562

No, I get up a little earlier and I work out, whether they have a hotel gym or not.

384

00:23:45,562 --> 00:23:47,393

You know, I find how to work out.

385

00:23:47,641 --> 00:23:51,712

I don't care if it's 20 minutes, I don't care if it's five minutes, I want to do

something.

386

00:23:51,712 --> 00:23:58,254

And then shower, good to go, I'm free the rest of the day to go walk around, do

adventurous things, whatever.

387

00:23:58,334 --> 00:24:03,786

So that's the difference is you are in the habit of doing something.

388

00:24:03,786 --> 00:24:06,367

I'm not going to go to bed without brushing my teeth because it's a habit.

389

00:24:06,367 --> 00:24:07,291

I don't even think about it.

390

00:24:07,291 --> 00:24:11,298

I just kind of scuffle off to the bathroom, brush my teeth, you know, all that stuff.

391

00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:13,709

So to get back to the ground floor.

392

00:24:13,823 --> 00:24:22,766

If you find when we're finding, when we're going through those actions, you have to take

it with an experimental attitude.

393

00:24:23,127 --> 00:24:24,427

We're going to try this.

394

00:24:24,427 --> 00:24:30,490

have people pick from a list of 10 and then they whittle it down to five and they rank

them.

395

00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:32,151

Is, is it going to work?

396

00:24:32,151 --> 00:24:33,371

Is it fun?

397

00:24:33,371 --> 00:24:34,712

Is it enjoyable?

398

00:24:34,712 --> 00:24:36,132

Is it efficient?

399

00:24:36,132 --> 00:24:39,503

Is it, you know, other things we go through it and then they have to pick one.

400

00:24:39,503 --> 00:24:40,958

And usually people want to pick two or three.

401

00:24:40,958 --> 00:24:41,894

It's like, yeah, you could.

402

00:24:41,894 --> 00:24:43,483

I'm not saying you're not capable, but.

403

00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:45,144

Let's just pick one.

404

00:24:45,204 --> 00:24:47,025

So they have to work on one.

405

00:24:47,025 --> 00:24:50,365

I have clients that boom, two weeks go by, three weeks go by.

406

00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:51,807

Yeah, they're doing great.

407

00:24:51,868 --> 00:24:53,809

Others like, oh, this happened.

408

00:24:53,809 --> 00:24:58,091

If you get thrown off track once or twice, that's normal, because you're not used to it.

409

00:24:58,091 --> 00:25:02,513

But more than that, it's not working and we have to see why.

410

00:25:02,734 --> 00:25:04,465

What's working, what's not working.

411

00:25:04,465 --> 00:25:07,376

Put on your white lab coat and test it out.

412

00:25:07,376 --> 00:25:11,098

That's why I gave you don't believe in 21 days, don't believe in 90 days.

413

00:25:11,098 --> 00:25:12,749

It'll take as long as it takes.

414

00:25:12,763 --> 00:25:13,723

Right?

415

00:25:13,723 --> 00:25:22,163

So we also look at, and this is the psychological part, which I have to do some life

coaching in, and you self-coach as well.

416

00:25:22,583 --> 00:25:25,703

Good habits and bad habits alike.

417

00:25:26,263 --> 00:25:28,723

Your brain doesn't judge if it's good or bad.

418

00:25:28,723 --> 00:25:30,603

Your emotions do.

419

00:25:30,603 --> 00:25:32,863

What you deem is good or bad.

420

00:25:33,103 --> 00:25:34,763

Your bad habit might be my good habit.

421

00:25:34,763 --> 00:25:35,783

I don't know.

422

00:25:36,023 --> 00:25:39,463

Your brain only knows you get a reward.

423

00:25:39,463 --> 00:25:41,315

Bad habit, good habit.

424

00:25:41,315 --> 00:25:43,575

you get that little dopamine.

425

00:25:44,356 --> 00:25:56,039

So if you just, I have this one lady who just cannot, cannot pull herself away from her

Instagram or social media at night when she gets into bed and she wants to sleep better

426

00:25:56,039 --> 00:26:03,071

because when she sleeps better, she does better the next day at her work, at her, she's an

entrepreneur, the whole bit, right?

427

00:26:03,071 --> 00:26:07,762

She's got the ritual down, then, ooh, it's a compulsion, right?

428

00:26:08,042 --> 00:26:10,907

So we finally, and I think,

429

00:26:10,907 --> 00:26:13,889

kind of personal and really deep, she had to go there.

430

00:26:13,889 --> 00:26:16,330

What void was she filling with that?

431

00:26:16,587 --> 00:26:19,371

You know, we've all heard of FOMO, but it went deeper than that.

432

00:26:19,472 --> 00:26:20,972

Is she missing out?

433

00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,433

What is she missing out on?

434

00:26:22,433 --> 00:26:23,354

A social life?

435

00:26:23,354 --> 00:26:24,264

Being a celebrity?

436

00:26:24,264 --> 00:26:28,456

What, what, you know, she talked a lot about this, this I'm using her as an example.

437

00:26:28,617 --> 00:26:30,938

Or what is it like, sometimes people rebel.

438

00:26:30,938 --> 00:26:33,740

It's like, well, I've had a hard day, so I want this candy bar.

439

00:26:33,740 --> 00:26:38,382

Or I've had a hard day and they just eat that whole burrito instead of portion control.

440

00:26:38,382 --> 00:26:39,963

They're just not thinking.

441

00:26:39,963 --> 00:26:40,323

Right?

442

00:26:40,323 --> 00:26:43,123

Cause they're in the habit of that, that that's the reward.

443

00:26:43,123 --> 00:26:46,543

But really what void are they feeling or what reward is it that they want?

444

00:26:46,543 --> 00:26:47,923

Like to be a rebel, why?

445

00:26:47,923 --> 00:26:49,803

And so you have to really peel the levels.

446

00:26:49,803 --> 00:26:50,263

Why?

447

00:26:50,263 --> 00:26:51,463

Not to get into therapy.

448

00:26:51,463 --> 00:26:52,583

It doesn't take years.

449

00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:53,883

You know why.

450

00:26:53,883 --> 00:26:55,383

You know why you do something.

451

00:26:55,383 --> 00:26:56,563

You know what you want out of it.

452

00:26:56,563 --> 00:26:58,503

When you do that thing you don't want to do.

453

00:26:58,503 --> 00:27:00,763

Or when you avoid doing the thing you want to do.

454

00:27:00,763 --> 00:27:04,863

Like turn off the light or turn off the TV at night or whatever it is.

455

00:27:04,863 --> 00:27:07,743

Or to finally go through those boxes and declutter.

456

00:27:08,899 --> 00:27:12,462

And then you don't just declutter once, you can hire somebody to do that.

457

00:27:12,462 --> 00:27:16,265

But are you in the habit every day of doing something that keeps it organized?

458

00:27:16,265 --> 00:27:19,927

More or less, whatever you think is organized.

459

00:27:20,529 --> 00:27:26,616

So the main thing that people resist is letting go of that reward.

460

00:27:26,616 --> 00:27:29,396

So you have to find out what is it you get out of it?

461

00:27:29,396 --> 00:27:30,956

What are you missing?

462

00:27:31,678 --> 00:27:34,019

And that's what you have to deal with first.

463

00:27:35,084 --> 00:27:36,445

Very, very powerful stuff.

464

00:27:36,445 --> 00:27:45,218

And I feel like we could almost do an entire one day workshop right now in Prom 2, just on

this subject.

465

00:27:45,218 --> 00:27:55,522

And of course we don't have that kind of time, but I wanted to make sure that if, know,

for those that are listening in that are really resonating with what you're saying.

466

00:27:55,522 --> 00:28:04,798

And I think we're shining some light on some different distinctions and some different

beliefs of what, even what we believe a habit is.

467

00:28:04,798 --> 00:28:05,919

and is not.

468

00:28:05,919 --> 00:28:08,230

um How do people learn more from you?

469

00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:11,141

I know you've got some free gifts and some things that you do.

470

00:28:11,141 --> 00:28:22,026

What's the best way for someone to learn more from you and even connect with you if they

would like to have a conversation or explore more about how you can help them with this?

471

00:28:22,107 --> 00:28:26,527

Well, I'm going to share that in a second, but I also want to say it's not all so deep,

dark and negative.

472

00:28:26,527 --> 00:28:30,447

There are some habits we have that we just don't realize our habits, like a cultural

habit.

473

00:28:30,447 --> 00:28:35,107

I grew up, I'm raising my hand right here and I invite you to raise your hand if you're

listening to this.

474

00:28:35,107 --> 00:28:37,427

I grew up having to clear that plate.

475

00:28:37,987 --> 00:28:38,887

Clean the plate.

476

00:28:38,887 --> 00:28:41,247

So I grew up cleaning the plate.

477

00:28:41,431 --> 00:28:42,342

It was just a habit.

478

00:28:42,342 --> 00:28:43,052

wasn't a bad thing.

479

00:28:43,052 --> 00:28:45,535

It just was, you know, it's a lot of things is cultural.

480

00:28:45,535 --> 00:28:48,878

What you was ingrained in you, what your family does, what your peers do.

481

00:28:48,878 --> 00:28:50,691

You go out, everybody gets nachos right away.

482

00:28:50,691 --> 00:28:51,440

You know what I'm saying?

483

00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:56,524

So a lot of things like, you know, I have to look at how am I in the habit of doing

something?

484

00:28:56,524 --> 00:28:58,386

Why am I in the habit of doing something?

485

00:28:58,386 --> 00:29:00,429

How much am I in the habit of doing something?

486

00:29:00,429 --> 00:29:02,029

Like how much are you in the habit of eating?

487

00:29:02,029 --> 00:29:03,510

And it may not be a negative thing.

488

00:29:03,510 --> 00:29:05,072

It's just like, well, I didn't realize.

489

00:29:05,072 --> 00:29:05,753

Know what I mean?

490

00:29:05,753 --> 00:29:08,803

So there are very many positive things that you can look at.

491

00:29:08,803 --> 00:29:10,124

And you can change this.

492

00:29:10,124 --> 00:29:13,407

And I want to leave you with this before I give you my, how you get ahold of me.

493

00:29:13,407 --> 00:29:18,792

You are never too set in your ways to get rid of a bad habit.

494

00:29:18,792 --> 00:29:24,698

And you are never too old or too late in the game to create a good habit.

495

00:29:24,698 --> 00:29:25,779

I have seen it.

496

00:29:25,779 --> 00:29:28,561

I'm working with a 79 year old and she's so gold.

497

00:29:28,561 --> 00:29:29,662

I love it.

498

00:29:29,662 --> 00:29:31,143

And so people think they're set in a ways.

499

00:29:31,143 --> 00:29:35,311

Um, so I'm always on LinkedIn and I love going there.

500

00:29:35,311 --> 00:29:40,697

I'm also on Facebook and Instagram, but mostly on LinkedIn and my website, which you said

you'd put in the show notes.

501

00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:41,948

It's Ronnie Lo, Life Coach.

502

00:29:41,948 --> 00:29:43,120

Lo is for my last name.

503

00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:46,593

Ronnie, R-O-N-N-I-E-L-O, LifeCoach.com.

504

00:29:47,830 --> 00:29:48,210

Nice.

505

00:29:48,210 --> 00:29:54,953

And if you're listening to this on a video, just look right beneath this video and all of

Ronnie's links are there.

506

00:29:54,953 --> 00:30:04,617

And if you happen to be listening to this on a podcast network, just open up your phone

and the description of the episode you're listening to, all of Ronnie's links are there as

507

00:30:04,617 --> 00:30:04,957

well.

508

00:30:04,957 --> 00:30:17,474

And I highly encourage you that you do connect and learn more about this because, I mean,

in my work, we're always, so many conversations about this tactic or that strategy and

509

00:30:17,474 --> 00:30:18,484

and that sort of thing.

510

00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:29,457

And what we talked about today, it doesn't matter what the strategy is, it doesn't matter

what the tactic is, it's how we show up to it, it's what we're bringing to it and the

511

00:30:29,457 --> 00:30:32,678

habits that we surround ourselves with.

512

00:30:32,678 --> 00:30:35,689

And I think it's worth having a look for sure.

513

00:30:35,689 --> 00:30:43,932

And I'm gonna think about them differently because of our conversation here, that

distinction between uh a routine and a habit.

514

00:30:43,932 --> 00:30:45,322

Because I think,

515

00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:50,873

based on what I heard you say, that they're very often mislabeled, right?

516

00:30:50,873 --> 00:30:58,575

And so people think that a habit is a routine or, you know, it's like, yeah, yeah, go,

yeah.

517

00:30:58,575 --> 00:30:59,126

I forgot.

518

00:30:59,126 --> 00:31:01,426

I'll also give you the link to my free monthly workshop.

519

00:31:01,426 --> 00:31:04,820

It's going to be every third Thursday of the month, free one hour.

520

00:31:04,820 --> 00:31:07,031

And you get to interact and ask questions about me.

521

00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:09,123

Well, how does this pertain to me or blah, blah, blah, blah.

522

00:31:09,123 --> 00:31:11,904

It will be free every third Thursday of the month.

523

00:31:12,865 --> 00:31:13,806

Yay.

524

00:31:14,987 --> 00:31:15,634

Yeah.

525

00:31:15,634 --> 00:31:16,694

go check that out.

526

00:31:16,694 --> 00:31:17,915

And look, it's free.

527

00:31:17,915 --> 00:31:21,707

So logically there's absolutely zero reason not to do that.

528

00:31:21,707 --> 00:31:27,420

And if you liked what Ronnie and I have been talking about today, then that is going to be

time well spent.

529

00:31:27,420 --> 00:31:28,891

I know I'm gonna go check it out.

530

00:31:28,891 --> 00:31:31,432

ah So yeah, yeah, let's do it.

531

00:31:31,432 --> 00:31:41,570

ah Well, the thing is we're always looking for ways to improve ourselves first and

foremost, and then the ripple effect of that, how...

532

00:31:41,570 --> 00:31:45,491

Do we bring that to the people that we work with?

533

00:31:45,772 --> 00:31:57,657

And so in our community, uh people have their personal expertise and mine is not habit

coaching.

534

00:31:58,457 --> 00:32:03,839

Habits can be part of it, but I love that you specialize in that, which is really, really

cool.

535

00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:06,090

um Ronnie, I wanna thank you.

536

00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:07,691

I know this has been a very short time.

537

00:32:07,691 --> 00:32:09,806

It goes by very, very, very quickly.

538

00:32:09,806 --> 00:32:18,598

um Some great insights in what you shared today and thank you for uh inviting us to the

workshop and we've got all your links down here.

539

00:32:18,598 --> 00:32:27,720

um And before we sign off, I'm wondering if there's just any final words of wisdom or

piece of advice you wanna leave our audience with here today.

540

00:32:28,271 --> 00:32:35,915

think I said it before the links, you're never too set in your ways ever to get rid of a

bad habit or create a good habit.

541

00:32:36,015 --> 00:32:39,257

And it takes help and support.

542

00:32:39,257 --> 00:32:40,798

I'm not trying to show coaching.

543

00:32:40,798 --> 00:32:49,302

I'm saying whether from your partners, your kids, your workmates, your friend, it takes

support because we can't internalize everything and do it on our own.

544

00:32:49,382 --> 00:32:50,933

Get help and give help.

545

00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:55,540

Those are great words to end this episode by.

546

00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:57,081

Thank you so much, Ronnie.

547

00:32:57,081 --> 00:32:59,563

And to our audience, thank you as well.

548

00:32:59,563 --> 00:33:00,853

You're listening in right now.

549

00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:02,204

There's a reason for that.

550

00:33:02,204 --> 00:33:04,826

And so I think you resonate with this topic.

551

00:33:04,826 --> 00:33:09,309

And so therefore you want to look beneath the video and click on Ronnie's links and go and

connect with her.

552

00:33:09,309 --> 00:33:11,631

uh For sure, we want you to do that.

553

00:33:11,631 --> 00:33:17,855

And also on your mission to make a big impact, I want you to always remember that it's

possible.

554

00:33:17,855 --> 00:33:19,736

Doesn't matter what the obstacle is.

555

00:33:19,736 --> 00:33:21,107

Doesn't matter what the challenge is.

556

00:33:21,107 --> 00:33:22,498

There's always a solution.

557

00:33:22,498 --> 00:33:27,222

you might be just one collaboration away or a conversation away from a big breakthrough.

558

00:33:27,222 --> 00:33:34,930

And maybe uh that is a conversation with Ronnie or going to her workshop or whatever, you

know, whatever that next step is for you.

559

00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:41,196

I want you to identify one thing that you heard us talk about here today and I want you to

take a step towards it, right?

560

00:33:41,196 --> 00:33:44,206

And by the way, easy, all the links are right there.

561

00:33:44,206 --> 00:33:47,007

ah Remember that your mission is worth it.

562

00:33:47,007 --> 00:33:48,118

You are worth it.

563

00:33:48,118 --> 00:33:52,930

We all need your gifts and the greatness that you bring to the world.

564

00:33:52,930 --> 00:33:55,731

And remember that the only way to fail is to quit.

565

00:33:56,572 --> 00:33:59,794

so keep moving forward and we'll see you on the next one.

566

00:33:59,794 --> 00:34:00,724

Thank you.

567

00:34:01,701 --> 00:34:02,693

Thank you.