Make Powerful Connections: Network Properly with Basile Lemba

First one is mindset. First and foremost, the correct mindset is fundamental, which is even before you say it clean the picture up. I kid you not really even before you see thing, because if you don't have the correct mindset to your point, one of the things that I discovered is the, what I call the cardinal rules of networking, I will find them to be then the prime rule went away, it was well did you have to cancel one, the first one is be interested. Okay, that's number one. Number two, always put your personal interests last. These are the fundamental information that allow me to put together a workable networking now. So first and foremost, the mindset.

Hey, it's chuck here. And I'm so glad that you're listening to this episode. And I just want to take this quick moment right now to let you know about our free collaborators toolkit. And this episode is all about partnership and collaboration. And our guests share many resources, tools, and things that you can use to make collaboration and partnership easier in your business. So if you're looking for better ways to grow, and scale your business, through collaborations, and strategic partnerships, this free collaborators toolkit is going to contain the best resources from our workshops, as well as contributions from our guests. And these tools could be the missing link that you've been looking for. And they're going to help you to solve every day business challenges, and access, highly effective ideas that can help and grow your business exponentially. I know they've helped me and I know they're going to help you as well. And the best part about these tools is that they're completely free. And our gift to you for being a valued member of our community, and a subscriber to the show. So you can get access to all of the resources contained inside the collaborators toolkit today by visiting the website at WWW.collaboratorsunite.com/toolkit. That address again is www.collaboratorsunite.com/toolkit. Go ahead and registered today get access to all the resources, and I'm gonna see you on the inside. Now, here's the episode.

Hello, everybody. And welcome back to the show. I'm here with another great guest and you're in such a great treat, especially for those of you who are looking for ways to create more collaborations or specific partnerships in your business, or whatever project you got going on. And today we have an expert on creating connections and if you really want to listen to what he has to say. So today, I have Brasil Lembah. With me, and we are so excited to have you here with the show because he'll Welcome to the show.

Thank you. Glad to be here.

Yeah, and I'm so glad you're and I've listened to you speak, you know, we're part of a networking group where I do get the opportunity to hear you share little parts of what you do. And I'm really excited to do a deeper dive in into what it is that you do. So I think a great place to start. I don't like to do too much on the introduction because I don't know your story, you know your story the best. So let's start with telling everyone you know who you are, and you know what you do? And then we'll take you go take we'll take it from there.

Sure. Thank you very much. Thank you, I'm happy to be here. I am from my name is Brazilian bamboo, Cameroon, originally, I left when I was 14, and I went to France, lived there for 10 years, became an architect and worked there for two years. And as I was helping an organization, they invited me to go to the US and work for them Did you know I took them on on it. And now when they work for that nonprofit organization for 10 years and move up to Northern Virginia where I started my business. So then, of course, I did not know anyone not originally, you can imagine that. And then I started business, which may not have been a smart idea. Because if we start a business we get to know somebody to talk to but I didn't know anybody. What am I going to do say? Hey, I want to tell you my business. So high the idea of there can be something called Chamber of Commerce soon enough. That was 20 years ago, I hit the phonebook, find one and join. So I attended some of the event but I was not very happy. And one day I was invited to an event with 450 people the launch and I was very excited. I was thinking that I'm gonna get 30 to 40 contacts. So as to how much this 150 And like 150 Most of the event that I was attending was free I mean, never had to pay then will be $10. But 151 event. So I did go. The sad part is at the end, I wound up only with three business staff because there was no way to network. So that was my first realization when networking. So then I saw the business people and find what they needed. And I started a big festival, which did very well. And then as part of that are putting people together, so can they talk to one another. And then one day, I realized one person did not know what to say. They don't know how to network. Then I started putting together networking, no house, so now we sharing it with other people. So you can have them,

huh. That's, I think, a really powerful thing. Because I know that in all of the various networking that I've done in my career and various events that I've attended, is that not a not everyone knows what to say not everyone knows how to connect. And, you know, it happens so often at networking events, get everyone is there for their own reasons. And usually it's I want to get contacts, I want to be able to promote my thing, but but really, what you're saying is that you want to create connections, you want to create contacts. And that's what I love so much about what you do. And so I know you, you have a story about how you kind of created your own group and how this kind of grew from there. So you know, tell tell everyone about, you know, how you got started with, with these, you know, with teaching people how to network properly.

Yeah, after I realized that, there was so little, I haven't facing one another, and one person talked to another one and say, hey, we'll do this, oh, I'm a renovation, I do bath Kitchen and Bath. And then the two of you, the person came to speak, and all they say, Oh, I did my kitchen three months ago, and see nothing else for the remaining time of 57 seconds. That's where the light bulb went nuts. And then I started putting together and then again, I'm talking about Africa, France and United States withdrew from everything I learned along the way. And everything that I was being presented with, because I've been doing this for 18 years, instead of putting together a workable know how, in fact, a ritual plan. Well, one day we talked about people having challenges networking, we did a survey, who has business people, do you drive a car? They say yes. How do you learn how to drive? Is it oh, I went to driving school number one. Number two, somebody taught me. Number three, all of the above. Very good. Next question. Do you network or attempted network? Of course, yes, of course. What kind of question is that? All right. How do you learn how to network? The answer was, number one, I just walked into the room. Number two, somebody pushed me into the room. That was the totality of their training. So we say wouldn't take the car keys and hand them to 16 years old, and say go ahead and write. So that is the deal. Most people that when it comes to networking. In fact, I found one day because I said I have this network position I want when I decide to do a presentation about networking. Because we invite people love your job to come and speak our podcast, or this or that or the other thing. But over 13 years, we never had anybody to stick stage and talk about networking. Yet. We are a networking organization. When I realized that I decided to do a little presentation on networking. And as part of that presentation, I went and look up the definition of networking the dictionary. Would you like to know what I found? Chuck?

I think our entire audience would love to know because I don't think because it's obvious is what people think

You're correct. I found that he was incorrect. Now I say I'm doing this for 18 years meaning why for the last before the pandemic up to 16 years, I was going to at least three networking events a week minimum li sometimes 10. So I've lived it. I've sold it and experience it our own groups, I could tell you with demos experience what will work and what would the edge that I have that I've done so much I know inside backer I made in my life in fact, and from there having understood that I said myself if you don't have the correct definition, we couldn't possibly have the correct now yes, there are books out there but they are successful action or opinion. Wherever successful action will work for B will not work for GE I ask anybody the definition of networking. Everybody has their own definition, which is okay, this is supposed to be a free country or a free world. But if everyone has their own way to network, they would be a lot more car accident on the roads. So I made it my mission to codify it. So when we say people do not know how to network, back to the reality is they have never been taught how we assume because people can speak they can network, because not because I can push my foot I've done that I can drive the car. And that's not true.

Yeah, absolutely. And you got to know the right you got to know the right way to do it. And I know that networking was definitely a weak point. In business when I was first getting started, you know, probably 25 years ago, when I was first attending events and promoting my first business. And there was nobody there to really guide, here's what you say, here's how you connect, here's how you do a value exchange so that you so that you really want to connect with this person beyond just this networking, but out, you know, out in your business as well. And, you know, first of all, not knowing what to say, sometimes being a little bit shy about, you know, things and, and communicating, but also, perhaps being too selfish as well, like being what you know. And I've seen this, I know, I've done it, especially in my early days, and others as well. They look at networking, and they go, Wow, look at all these potential clients. Look at all these, I'll look at all the business I'm going to get from these people, right? Look at how much I'm going to be able to sell. And again, that's, you know, how much can I get for me? But really, I found that it's more beneficial to, you know, to give to go there without that, that that expectation, and then to give? Is that what you have found as well like, wisdom analysts?

Yes. To your point, there's two things that I want us to take up. The first one is mindset. First and foremost. The correct mindset is fundamental, which is, even before you see the clean the picture of it didn't really even before you say thing, because if you don't have the correct mindset, to your point, one of the things that I discovered is the, what I call the cardinal rules of networking, I will find them to be event of prime rule when where it was, well, they have to control one, the first one is be interested. Okay, that's number one. Number two, always put your personal interests last. These are the fundamental information that allow me to put together a workable networking now. So first and foremost, the mindset, we say for example, if you go to a restaurant, there's two categories of people, you have the one who has a napkin over here. He's there to help himself. Okay, that's one guy. And you're the one who says the thing sitting over here is the waitress is there to serve? The correct mindset is the one who's there to serve. And that is the correct mindset in networking. Okay, is not about what is that eating is what is that you can do for the, for the people. So when you walk into that room where I teach in my coaching and training, when you walk into a room, you don't have to don't think about yourself, you think about is who is this? What can I do for him, that is the correct way make your relationship easy to connection easy. And you add to that, while they talking to you think about what you can do for them, you can both succeed, you build a relationship, meaning what? Meaning they are open to meet with you again. So you will have you chains to talk about what you do. But even more importantly, when you do it, right. We know the statistics that every grown up knows at least 3000 people, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you, if you are a grown up, you know, at least 3000 people. So if you do your job, well, that person in front of you knows at least 3000 people. If you do your job, well, they may or may not buy your product, that's not really important. The important thing is that now they're willing to take you and introduce you to the people you're looking for.

And that really is so much, so much more powerful than just that single connection. And I think that's really, you know, it's really short sighted to think about, oh, how do I turn this person to a client? And, you know, what, how can they serve me? Or how can they buy my thing, and I really love what you said about serve, I think serve is such a powerful word because you go to a networking event. And I think a lot of people do think about going to networking events, I'm going to go to a networking event because I need to grow my business. And so they're going there for a very short term goals in mind is I'm going to go there and I'm going to get some contacts. I'm going to turn those into clients versus what you're saying. And I love this. And that is how can I go to this networking event and serve the people that are there that is so incredibly powerful. And what are you witnessing, so you know, what are you witnessing as people are approaching this? And maybe let's just kind of look at both sides here. I maybe think of someone who is going there strictly to get something for themselves. And the other person who is going there with the mindset of serving, you know, describe the experience what what what's happening with the person who's looking for themselves and what's happening with the person who is there to serve. And, and let's do the contrast of the maybe difference in results that that they're seeing.

Absolutely, I'll say two things. One of the thing we teach it is we call it a sequence to get in business or how you get customers. Egos want networking, to promotion, and three sales in that order. Okay, the survey was done at a Chamber of Commerce event, though it was a networking event, and people were asked who's here to sell something, all the hands went up, who is here to buy something, all the hands went down?

What was going on and don't sell me I sell you don't sell me or sell you. That's gonna work. I don't know, if at any time, if you have been in business for more than 24 hours, you would have heard this word called the illiberal speech, which means who you are, what you do, what the company, what have you. And we compare that against the networking promotion itself, we see that the liberal speech comes under promotion, says I'm promoting myself to you, I'm telling you what i Who I am what I do. So then it comes down to the then the bulk of what we call networking, he said, a few people like you, for example, but most people do bulk of them. Networking for them is sales, covertly overcame or promotion. They never graduated to networking. Networking come first, to pure pause of networking. If you don't forget anything, you don't want to miss one single thing, at least remember this. Outside of the cardinal rules, the purpose of networking is to create acceptance. It is not to sell or promote yourself. In the past. Sometimes I do that I've been to event where I go and talk to somebody, I have great conversation with them and present what they do. And then before I leave, I get the information I leave. But if I went and told somebody, I went to a networking event, I made this guy's limit shop, we have a great conversation. But I didn't tell him what I'm what I have my name or what I do, most people can go because they think it is about promoting yourself or selling No, it's about creating acceptance. If I show interest to chop, and I put my personal interest last, I can call him lIran Chrp. Remembering My name is Brazil, we met at a chamber is there a way you can give me five or 10 minutes so I can tell you what I do. If I did my job, well, Chuck is going to tell me three words. Those are when and where which time now I can promote myself to him. You follow that comes after not being that a creative acceptance. And then I tell him what I do. Chuck may or may not buy I won't even pressure him into buying what I'm offering. But I can just say hey, Chuck, now you know what I do? It? Can you help me by introducing me to people who may need this? Because I created acceptance, chances are he's gonna happily take me into his tribe. That's how the game is played Mori over Zook and understand the depth of it. When I started the research on it, we find a statistic. When you go out there and meet in person, only one become your customers. So then the science of networking is how you handle the nine, which I'll just show you how the one when is going to see that you have you know, probably don't take too much because it chokes me up. Networking is how you handle the night. So people go out and hit denial, they try to promote to them or they try to sell to them. Of course it never work. And that's when networking get a bad name. But because they didn't do it properly.

I think that, you know, that just makes so much sense. Because again, it's that mindset shift. People go they're looking for the one but really what we want to do is we want to concentrate on the nine. And like you said, Okay, as an adult, you probably know Around 3000 people so, you know, what's, what's nine times 3,001st of all what it's more than that because then there's the connections you're gonna make through that and they all know 3000 So you know, those nine could actually connect you with hundreds of Dynamo.

And he's not just about sales like for example here Chuck has invited me to podcast it can be making your partner inviting to speak are an event. So there is no rush in trying to sell somebody something is a short view, they can do tons of things for you. You get I'm saying, but first and foremost, you got to be dead show attention and cause look at them as a human being not just some somebody having a 16 digit code behind his wallet, you get in, that's where the whole thing is toner, and who wants that none of us want that. Nobody wants to feel like they are an ATM machine.

Exactly, you're gonna run away from that very, very quickly. And I think we all know when we're being sold to. And, you know, it's when you just met somebody, and it's only been a few minutes, how could they possibly know enough about you, your service, your product or your company to possibly make a decision? It's way too soon. Right? And so you know, and you don't even know if they need it or want it, right. And so that's focusing on the one but with the 9k, they may not need what you have, but somebody they know might. And so investing in that relationship, I think is so powerful. It's one of the reasons why I do this show is because it's it's a very non promotional thing. And it's a way for me to get to know more about you, and to ask questions. And, you know, one of my, one of my big heroes in networking is Dale Carnegie, and how to win friends and influence people. And the phrase that really stood out to me was be interested. Not interesting, right. And I remember so early in my career, I was trying to, you know, within you mentioned, elevator speeches, that's trying to be interesting, you're trying to create the word that you can say that will magically get people to want to connect with you. But really, the magic is not in that elevator speech, and the words that you say, but it's how curious are you about the other person and asking about them? And, you know, it's amazing to the stories that he even told about, you know, how he would go and network and didn't say anything about himself. All he did was ask questions of the other person, and then that person would would walk away and say, Wow, that Dale Carnegie, he's the most interesting person I've ever met, say anything about himself. So I love this that really speaks to the serving, you're talking about, really getting to know the person across from you and stuff. So. So, you know, our audience, I mean, they're, they're always looking for ways to collaborate, and to create partnerships, and it's one of the things that we teach here is, is how to connect to network. And if there's a good fit to, to look at how can we collaborate with this person? How could we do more with this person? How can we help them do more with what they're trying to do? And that shift for us has just been so powerful, I mean, it's and I just think about the first 20 years of you know, always trying to sell always be selling, always be selling I remember my sales coach always be closing and all that nonsense, right? ABC. Right. Always be closing. And you know, it's, but it pushes people away and all you can't always be closing I think, close at the right time, in the right place with the right person. And you don't actually have to close that. That heart because they already know they want to be with you. But I think always be connecting. Always be connecting. Right? And I love what you said about serving, always be connecting and serving. So

Absolutely, no, you're correct because one of the things people suffer from a lot in business is rejection be trying to collaborate trying to sell but with the approach that I just suggested, you cannot experience rejection, even in collaboration is really applied, be interested to the person, you know, put your personal interest last, how can you help them that goes first? If you do that, chances are they will do something for you. One of the biggest problem in networking in general is follow up 97% of the business will tell you openly that they are challenged with follow up but follow up starts at the very first second you meet the person what mindset Do you have? If he's the right mindset or if you do the right mindset that we discussed they are willing to take to go on a journey with you. But if you're only thinking about yourself, what you're gonna get out of it, you call them they don't pick up the phone, they don't answer you did not follow up. That's because of what you did from the zero their very first contact. So again, the mindset. If it's off, they may not they're not going to tell you Oh, yeah, you're off, they're gonna go like this mentally. They won't tell you, they won't say a word. So you're going to walk you said very hard in business or networking anywhere. We love getting the result. Because it didn't have the white approach the serving approach.

I think, you know, so very wise, and I think there's so much to learn, you know, from you, I love how you've taken networking, and decided to go deeper in that. And I think it's a, it's an area that not a lot of people do. But it's so so needed. And, you know, we, I mean, it helps everyone in our community for sure. And we're really looking forward to, you know, sharing this, and the work that you do with them. And I just think this is, you know, a message that I would like to see many more business owners learn. And that is because every day on LinkedIn, I get these messages going, Chuck, I saw your profile, and I really liked what I saw. And I would love to connect with you, would you like to connect? And then share that? And then you say yes, and then the very next message? You know, Chuck, what do you do, by the way, here's what I do, dah dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah do and I've got this chorus. And I've got this program. And I would really love to book a call with you to discuss all of this. And I'm like, Where was the connection? Right, there was no connection. Connecting mean, I receive accepted your request. And now you can spam my, my, my box with Yeah, and it happens all the time.

Oh, yeah. I know after the first one, the university thing next Do you have a parent I have you ever texted is not. Enough. It turned people off. It is so bad. Because similarly to network networking is pleasure. What a terrible networking is like, do the good apples like going to a bar when you go to a party? You get to enjoy yourself? Make the connection? No different from networking? Absolutely none. If you don't know what to do, and network events get into the same mood you are when you go to Power meet people, Hey, how are you doing? And you're interested in them, you're talking to them having a good time. That's what networking is. The sad part is sometimes somebody's doing the you have a conversation and they're doing fine. They walk into a networking event, they become somebody else. Now, I mean, networking, you know, it is x in you, just be yourself.

Be yourself.

Yeah.

So powerful and such great advice. While I'm busy. I can talk to you all day about this, because I think that we're really on the same page. And I so agree, and I love everything that you're saying. And what we're gonna do is we're gonna give everyone a link, and we're going to, we're going to let everyone know where they can learn from you. And obviously, they can learn a lot. One of the things before we kind of wrap up the show, and I've loved everything that we talked about. From the sort of the personal growth or business growth side of things, I like to share a little few of resources. And one of the things I like to ask all my guests is, if there was one book that you recommend that every one reads, what would you recommend?

That's a tough one. There is a book I have from J. Paul Getty, for all the businesses is the title, it was was not a white out of well, it is How to Become Rich. He's not the best title, because he seems I think that is a marketing peril that they gave him. But Gary is the person who created the Gary oil that we know, he was a very, very savvy business people and he has very sound principles. So I highly recommend how to become rich don't get lost into his by becoming rich, please. But the book is really rich in how to learn to craft and how to do it and how to treat people. So that's what I will recommend.

I love that recommendation. And we're going to add that to our growing list of books that our our guests and our experts have been sharing. And so I really appreciate that. And so before we wrap up two things, the first thing is tell everyone where they can find out more about you and what you do.

You can find motivated men my website, which is BLnetworking.net. Should I type it?

We'll put it in the show notes and we'll email it out to everybody.

Yeah, there is there's also a free consultation that I can extend to you. I'll send you the link blnetworking.net/freesession.

Great and we'll put that we'll put that link there as well. So definitely recommend to connect with Brazil and obviously, so much that you can learn from him from this and how who serve. And I honestly believe as serving has been, when I shifted that mindset for myself, it not only did it open the floodgates to, you know, a larger business, but it a lot of the worries that concerns the, you know, trying trying different things that didn't work, a lot of those things went away. And you know, sales became such a natural process, and not such this process of trying to convince everyone to buy my stuff. And when you when you shift it to that serving mentality versus the selling mentality. It was a big game changer for me. So I love to meet a fellow business person who believes the same things. And I think there's so much more that I could learn from you with with all of this. So I appreciate everything you shared with our audience today. So we're going to wrap up this episode with Brazil, if if there was just one piece of advice that our listeners could take away and take action on, what would you recommend to them,

We tell them be interested.

That's it

Right? Not interesting, be interested.

I love that. And being interested really is a form of serving and I love that. So great words to end this on. Thank you so much, Brazil, we've got the links to every on how to connect with you down below this episode. And so everyone, go ahead and click on that, go check him out. And we will see you on our next episode with another great guest on how to create collaborations and partnerships in your business.

Thank you for having me.