E 265: One Belief Away from Change: Guest Tim Shurr

Well, hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.

Today we have with us Tim Scher.

He's a world renowned peak performance hypnotist who quickly releases people from mental blocks and accelerates what he calls peaceful success using subconscious programming, reprogramming strategies developed with over 37 years of research.

Tim has written seven books, including the bestseller One Belief Away, and is featured in the hit film Zero Limits.

Today he's here to share the fastest way to start living your best life now.

Welcome, Tim.

Thank you, Tammy.

Pleasure to be here.

Yeah, so I love, well, these listeners, obviously you know my topic, it's called Adult Child of Dysfunction.

So it's living with that chronic stress, anxiety, health issues, which I'm assuming you include the gut, the health, the anxiety, the stomach, the gut, stomach, same thing.

The inflammation, the nervous system, dysregulation like that is all of the stuff that people that dealt with chronic stress are dealing with today.

Is that what you're helping out with?

Yes, it's a big part of it.

As they say, the body keeps the score.

And so what I looked at is how do you turn that off, that chronic inflammation?

And I found that it's not a stress problem, it's an unconscious beliefs problem.

You know, everybody's trying to have a better mindset, but I have found that it goes deeper than mindset.

So mindset is what you're saying to yourself consciously to try to make yourself feel better.

But what happens when you're trying to tell yourself all these things that feel better and it's not working, or you're fighting yourself or you don't believe it, or you're saying all the right things, but your body is still wound up inside.

And I, you know, spent decades trying to figure out what that is and how to overcome it, how to reverse it so that you're using the power of your mind to prepare you rather than scare you.

And I'm excited to talk about that with you today.

Sounds great.

I know I always talk about when people talk about affirmations and I'm like, you know, you can do all the affirmations until you're blue in the face.

You can say, I am lovable, I am worthy, I am great, I deserve great things, all of this stuff, you can say that all day long.

But when the rubber hits the road and you need to make a decision or you need to act on something, your subconscious mind is going to jump in and it's going to be like, nope, and it's going to freeze you in your.

In your.

Just freeze you.

The metaphor I use is that, you know, trying to use affirmations or journaling or a vision board or, you know, cheap Hypnosis downloads from YouTube, although those can be very helpful and very useful.

But it's like cutting the top off of weeds.

Even cognitive behavioral therapy, which is like positive thinking on steroids, is like cutting the top off of weeds.

If you don't get to the root of it and pull the weed out, the mental weed at the root, it just grows back.

So then we turn to either pharmaceuticals or smoking, eating, drinking, and that's like throwing dirt on top of the weeds.

It's not, you know, creating any kind of solution.

It's just trying to numb us out from the symptoms.

So, you know, with my One Belief Away method, I found that if you just pull the weed out at the root and replace it with a flower.

Right.

So if you remove the core deep fear, the belief that was created in our mind the very first time we had some kind of traumatic experience, it creates that a belief.

And then if you pull that belief out, like the belief that I'm not safe, and you replace it with a belief that says I am safe now, then it completely changes the game and it shifts what's going on inside of you physically as well as mentally and emotionally.

Oh, absolutely.

Because just that feeling of unsafe, I mean, it keeps your nervous system so in heightened alert that you can't even really function correctly.

And like, like, everybody always goes back to that caveman and, you know, analogy of when we were running from a saber tooth tiger.

But it's true.

I mean, to us, if you have those subconscious beliefs in you that you are not safe, you are always running from that tiger your entire life.

So, yeah, I always.

I always called it, like, you know, I would.

I would say my anxiety, which I don't talk about it anymore like that.

Right.

It was just, you know, a feeling that was trying to protect me.

But back in the day, I would say my anxiety is like a fire alarm that keeps going off even when there's no fire.

So it's constantly keeping me on high alert.

Absolutely.

And it's very understandable how people get like that when you grow up.

I mean, especially talking from this podcast, adult child of dysfunction.

I mean, my parents, there's so many, like, little triggers that I had to work to get over even little things.

And some things still keep popping up, like, kind of.

But now I don't have an emotional charge to them.

So I'll think about it and Be like, kind of like, oh, that used to bother me, you know, things like.

And I know people can resonate this things like the key in the door knob.

I don't know how many people, my clients say, oh, yeah, I could tell by how many times it turned took to get that key in, what kind of night it was going to be.

Exactly.

That's right.

Or these days, people, you know, if your cell phone dings, you know, if you get a ding, and then all of a sudden we're like, we get tight, you know, because we've taken that, you know, we don't know, you know, if there's going to be yelling and screaming or what's going to happen, you know, when.

From a childhood and with the door and stuff like that.

And now it's, you know, what kind of bad news am I going to get when my phone makes a noise, which your phones are always making noise.

And so we just keep, yeah, so we just keep, you know, we keep the cycles going.

We're not trying to.

But again, your brain thinks it's protecting you, right?

And, you know, so even back then, if you heard that, then you knew you had to be extra quiet or you needed to go hide or I, or something else had to happen.

And so, you know, our brain's always trying to protect us, but we're not little kids anymore.

And so we need better coping strategies and new tools.

But those tools won't work if you don't upgrade the beliefs that are driving all of that to begin with.

And people just don't know how to do that.

In fact, most therapists don't even really know how to do that.

No, I went to, you know, and it was good going to talk therapy.

And I'm not bashing talk therapy at all because I did go to therapy, but I just felt like there was so much more and they were never getting to the root.

It was like, what's happening bothering you right this second?

Well, I don't even know.

I don't even know, you know, like I, I was like.

And this was like 25 years ago and I can remember just little things like, you know, well, how does that make you feel?

I don't know.

I don't feel like I had literally was a shell of a person.

And until I learned the modalities to get deep and hip, hypnosis was really, really a powerful one.

And things like emdr, like going back and, and just pulling those root things out.

What would you say?

I know you mentioned one of the things when I Was question, what do you think are the top three subconscious beliefs that keep us just stuck in fear, sick, ill, whatever.

So I'm not safe is definitely one of them.

I'll be rejected or humiliated is another one.

Because we don't feel like we're worthy of being loved, right?

And the one that drives those two and all the other ones is I'm not good enough.

So that's the number one.

And I think that it is the infection that most of us have that drives the deep insecurity in the world.

So that fear that I'm not good enough and because I'm not enough, I won't be loved.

And then depression comes in because they feel like there's nothing I can do about it.

It's never going to get any better, which is completely false, but it feels that way.

And so when you're going through life never feeling like you're enough, then it sets up the people pleasing, the perfectionism, the imposter syndrome, the being attracted to people who are always going to reject you, being a people pleaser.

So you never set boundaries, you know, and it's just continual chaos.

And because we grew up with chaos, it feels normalized to be in chaos, right?

So we keep those patterns going even though consciously the whole time we're like, I don't want this, I don't want this.

But there's a part of us that's always trying to feel safe and our inner rules and our outer rules have to match.

And so if your outside life isn't great right now, it's because you got to change the inner rules.

Most people do the opposite.

They try to change what's going on outside of them, but that won't work.

You've got to upgrade those mental rules in your mind.

So you got to go from I'm not safe to I am safe, I'm not loved to I am loved because I'm loving me.

I'm not going to chase it through others.

I'm just going to give it right to myself, you know, and then, you know, and to feel that way, you got to know that you're more than enough.

And it just takes a new emotional experience to create that.

And you can do it in 20 minutes.

You don't have to take years to get this done.

A lot of people won't believe that because they've been trying this and working on themselves for 20 years.

But you know, it's like a three number combination on a safe.

If you've got two of the numbers and you don't have that third number, it'll be impossible to get that door open and access the treasure inside.

But if you have the third number, Tammy, as you know, that door will swing right open.

Absolutely.

And what would you say about people that are, let's say now.

Okay, let's say people come to you.

It's a one session coming to you to get to that route.

No, I was going to say.

Well, you get to the route in one session.

Yeah, right.

But there's a series I don't like any program that says you're going to be fixed in one session because one, you're not broken.

You just need some, some mental rules being updated in your brain.

Right.

So it's like mental software needs an update, your phone gets an update.

You know, our brains need updates.

And so.

But you can't go to the gym once and walk out with muscles.

Right.

You can create some pretty amazing breakthroughs.

I've had people that broke eating disorders and that had panics for 30 years, panic attacks that disappeared, migraines that they've been going to migraine clinics for 10 years.

And, and in one session they stopped having migraines.

So I've seen miracles happen, really, in one session.

But I still believe that's the first.

Just the first part, because session one, you upgrade the beliefs.

In session two, you got to upgrade the feelings.

So you've got to let go of the anger, the hurt, the guilt, the shame, the resentment, the self pity.

Right.

The, the poison that's inside of us that we keep inside because we think it's protecting us from getting hurt again when it's actually just keeping us paralyzed.

So we've got to release that.

And then the third session, you're stepping into what I call you 2.0, because you're getting new tools and more effective strategies to shift how you're feeling so that you're not using positive thinking, but you're learning how to use the power of your mind in a more effective way so that it doesn't matter what shows up.

All that matters is how you show up, and you'll know how to show up in a more empowered way.

And is that the one belief away method?

Basically what you just summed up?

Okay, so, yeah, do it one more time for people because that's, I mean, it's a powerful process.

So if you could just sum it up one more little time in little steps for people.

Yeah, I started.

I started telling my clients, you know, you're just one belief away from a huge breakthrough because I found that that's what happens whenever, no matter where you're stuck, you can always find, if you trace a thought, a feeling, a behavior, a habit back to its root, to the beginning, there's always a belief there driving it.

And so if we go upgrade that belief, then it starts to upgrade all the other ways that you're showing up in life almost instantly.

You know, it was amazing.

And so that's why I started calling it.

And so in session one, you're upgrading your deepest core beliefs, the foundational fear, the self limiting belief that's in your mind, that's holding you back.

And you start giving yourself the love, the safety, the self acceptance, the encouragement, the support you're basically giving yourself and kind of re parenting yourself, giving you all the resources that you know, if you had it back then maybe the events wouldn't have been so traumatic, right?

But we're kids when this happens and we don't have that.

So.

And then in session two, we upgrade the feelings.

We release the anger, the hurt, the resentment, you know, in a very gentle but a very effective, effective way.

And, and that is incredible because that really starts to help the body feel more at ease.

So instead of all the cortisol and all the adrenaline constantly flowing through us, now we're feeling endorphins and keflins, more peace, more joy.

We're sleeping better at night.

Most people are sleeping with one eye or one ear open all the time because it's too unsafe to fully let go, right?

So now all of a sudden you're getting deep restorative sleep and you're feeling better mentally, but your body heals when you're in deep sleep.

That's when the DNA heals, when you're deep sleep.

So if you don't experience those theta and delta levels of sleep, then you're never really healing.

And so that's what we do.

In session two, session three, we're building new tools so that you're starting to really be clear on how you were showing up before.

What the beliefs were, what the coping strategies were, and then the outcomes.

And then now, you know, versus this other side.

I put two movies up, right, so you can watch you version 1.0 and U 2.0.

And then the second movie is a view where you have new beliefs and new strategies, new resources that you're using intentionally so that it doesn't matter what happens to you.

You're focused now on what you're going to bring to that situation.

And so it's an internal power, internal sense of control.

Instead of feeling helpless, like it's all just happening to me.

And then in session four, we continue to build you up so that you're looking now for opportunities and how to take anything that shows up and turn it into an opportunity and that prevents relapse so that you don't slip back into old behaviors.

People are afraid, what if this doesn't last?

But when you upgrade beliefs, it's upgraded.

Unless some other huge emotional experience would shift that, but you would have the tools to be able to manage it more effectively.

And then there's a few more steps.

But most people are only going through four or eight sessions, you know, and it's.

And they're getting better results than they had in the last 20 years.

I love that.

I absolutely love that.

And it makes sense because you, like you said, like kind of like I mentioned in the beginning, you, you're running on your subconscious.

You got to bring that subconscious unconscious level up to the conscious level to where you're actually acting on that and talk a little bit about, I know people are like, with money and health and different things.

Talk about how that perfectionism makes us actually self sabotage ourselves.

Well, if you're talking about perfectionism, then it's this fear that it has to be perfect or it won't be enough, right?

So we're trying to make every situation perfect.

We don't want to miss out, right?

We won't, we don't want disapproval.

So we figure it has to be perfect or we have to be perfect.

And that analysis by paralysis kicks in, right?

Because it's very difficult to have perfection in an imperfect world.

And even if you do get it perfect, there's always going to be somebody or you that's going to come by and say it could have been better, right?

Or you have plans and other people don't do their part in that.

And now you're upset or you're frustrated and so, you know, or perfectionism shows up as if I can't get it the way that I want, then I'm not even going to try, right?

Because then I can't be hurt, I can't be rejected, I can't be humiliated.

And so a lot of times we find ourselves procrastinating, but it's a defense mechanism, right?

It's a coping strategy.

If I'm not in the ring, I can't get beat up.

And so, you know, I can't have strangers won't ridicule me.

That really hurts you in the business world.

That's a big one in the business world because, yeah, you just, you know, and also just the feeling of being safe, you know, you go, you talked about that as one of the three beliefs that the world isn't safe.

I remember turning down one of my first big promotions because I knew I was going to be brought up on stage in front of six to 800 people and congratulated.

And I was like, I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm not good enough for this.

I'm not worthy to do that.

And I literally just, I lost the promotion.

And then, you know, I look back at it now and I'm like, wow, I completely, completely did that to myself for fear of being safe and just not thinking, like, who am I to, to earn this?

Who am I?

You know?

Yeah, I call it the not enough.

Then I, I talk about it all the time with my clients.

You know, I'm not good enough, smart enough, funny enough.

And you know, I always tell people, I don't know if there's advice you give them or if this is obviously stuff you do under hypnosis is working with this.

But I know, I always tell people, set your standards the same for yourself as you would for your own best friend.

And it's so hard to do, to think that you are worthy to do that, but it's so helpful at the end of the day.

That's a really good strategy, right?

It's a really good strategy because, you know, we cut our friends slack or if our friend makes the same mistake we make, you know, then we tell them, it's okay, shake it off, you're going to be fine.

You know, learn from this, you'll recover, you're awesome.

And then we get alone and we're like, I'm an idiot.

I can't believe I did that.

I'm so stupid.

People are going to think that I'm a moron now, you know, and then we just tear ourselves apart.

So that's a really great strategy.

You know, when I'm taking people through, I always ask them, you know, to use power questions, right?

So instead of lousy questions.

So lousy questions are usually like, you know, whose fault is this?

Why do things always go wrong?

You know, how come things never go the way that I want?

What's wrong with me?

You know, and these are all fear based questions and then your brain has to answer.

So, you know, I used to say, how come things never work out?

My brain would say, because you're a loser and you don't deserve it.

You know, it was like harsh so now I ask power questions instead that are empowering.

They come from love and hope and joy.

Right.

So I'll ask, well, what's the outcome I do want?

How do I want this to go?

How do I want to feel right now?

Or what's one way that I can feel the way that I want to feel that would leave me feeling proud of myself afterwards?

Or who can I lean on for support?

Right.

Or get out of that victim mode?

And you know, what did I learn from this?

Even if you did do something that.

And you would normally be like, oh, I'm so stupid.

Well, what did I learn from this?

You know?

Yeah, yeah.

How can I come back next time?

Yeah, how can I come back stronger?

I love the power questions.

Love it.

So, okay, so assuming now you're listening to this and you're like, wow, you know, this sounds awesome, but I don't have the time, the means, the money, whatever it is, whatever your excuse is not to come see someone like you.

What's something.

Is there anything people can do right now to chart start trying to upgrade that system?

Belief system?

Sure.

Yeah.

You know, I've got a two question approach that you can use right now.

Right.

So question number one is, what would I have to believe to feel this way?

And then question two is, what would I rather believe instead?

So let's break it down a little bit.

Yeah.

So the first one is what would I have to believe in order to think, feel or behave this way?

Right.

So be a belief hunter and a wisdom collector.

Right.

So what would I have to believe?

And you got to kind of ask yourself that over and over until you get to the root of it.

So if you're sabotaging yourself for anything, any situation, you're like, well, what I have to believe?

Well, I'd have to believe that I'm going to get rejected.

Well, what would I have to believe you're going to get rejected?

Well, because it's happened before.

Right.

Well, what would I have to believe about that?

That, you know, that it's.

I'll get rejected again because it's not good enough, you know, or because I'm not good enough.

And I'm afraid that all those people that told me that I wasn't enough were going to be right and I don't want to deal with that humiliation.

Well, what would I have to really believe then?

Well, I have to believe that, you know, I'm not even worthy of trying.

Wow.

You know, I'm not even worthy of trying.

How come you're not on, you know, we've got 4 billion people on the planet.

You're the one that's not worthy of trying, right?

Is that what you want to believe, or is it just something that you think you absorbed?

You know, because that's really a good question too.

Is it?

Do.

Do you want to believe that?

Because a belief is just an opinion, right?

An opinion that we think is truth, but it's just an opinion, and you have the right to any opinion you want.

And so once we get to the core belief that I'm not even worthy of having this, that's when the question 2 comes in.

What would you rather believe instead?

What would you rather believe instead?

Now, because we're just doing this logically in our mind, you might say, well, I believe that I am worthy.

But you might not feel it because you didn't go through the emotional retraining experience that you need to go through for you to believe that.

Right?

But at least you're starting to identify what the real issue is, and you got to go solve that issue.

I always tell people your biggest breakthroughs are hiding in the places you don't want to go.

So wherever you're resisting, that's your next move, because that's where your breakthrough is going to happen.

So the problem becomes the path.

So now that you understand that it's this core limiting belief that sabotaging the stuff, quit trying to change everything else.

Like, if you're in business, quit trying to fix your funnel.

Go update that belief.

If your closure rate's not good, if you're not getting leads, if you are, you know, feeling like you.

You can't make videos for social media, right?

Go fix that belief, and then the rest of it will fall into place because your brilliance will come out and you'll be asking better questions.

But until you fix the hole in the boat, it doesn't matter how much you know or the hole in a bucket, it doesn't matter how much water you add to it.

Exactly, exactly.

That's.

Those are.

I mean, that's great questions, and that's a great just way to start.

I mean, just a beginning starting point.

Because we all have those.

We all do that.

And it's even like.

And challenge it.

Because when you get to that point, it's.

I always say, when people, as soon as you have that negative mind sitting, you know, that negative person sitting on your shoulder saying, you're this, like you said, it's an opinion.

Unless you can see hard, factual proof that show that it's an opinion, kind of like when you have those gaps in childhood where you don't remember things and your mind is going to fill in those gaps.

So I tell people, if you're going to fill in and you're going to make that up anyway, make it up something good.

That's right.

People are, can you do that?

Are you allowed to do that?

It's your mind.

It's your mind and your mind can be very easily tricked.

Your body can't, but your mind can.

I think that's right.

Which, you know, maybe is, I don't know, maybe that's why I am open to hypnosis and that kind of thing because I'm very open minded.

I'm like, okay, just tell me, help me, help me move this around.

And so talk about, because I mean, you've been doing hypnotherapy for a long time.

Talk about the general.

I know I had a couple episodes that they talked about hypnotherapy.

But talk about the misconceptions of hypnosis in general, why people might be hesitant to come to someone and go, oh, I'm not doing that.

It's talk about that.

Because I'm sure you run into that.

Yes.

So I've been, I've been using hypnotherapy as a tool for 33 years.

I've done 16,000 sessions and I have learned that hypnotherapy is just a word and it doesn't mean anything really.

It's.

People think that because of movies or because of the entertainment side with stage shows after proms or Las Vegas shows where people are clucking like a chicken, or vampire movies where they're putting you in control and, you know, making you do whatever they want.

Even on Internet now on YouTube, you got people who are saying, I'm a hypnotist and I can make you this and that.

That's all make believe.

So your mind goes in and out of these focused states of concentration all day long.

You're in a deep state.

Hypnosis twice a day, every single day, right before you fall asleep, right before you get out of bed in the morning, when you're in a relaxed state or even when you're in a hyper stress state, you get really focused and then everything else kind of, you know.

So when you're really feeling anxious or stressed, it doesn't matter what people are telling you because you're really hyper focused or, you know, if you're really into a great movie and someone asks you a question, you're like, huh, What?

Because you were so entranced in that movie.

So hypnotist found that when people are that focused, they get more open to suggestion.

That's what TV commercials are.

They're just hypnotic suggestions.

That's why we see all these frustrating pharmaceutical commercials over and over and over.

The same ones, because they're hypnotic suggestions.

People are in a light state of trans watching a movie and now they're getting told they should buy the purple pill, you know, and all this crap.

And so.

And they'll.

And their brain will ignore that.

If you take this pill, your head's going to fall off and your eyes are going to bleed and.

Right.

All the horrible symptoms, side effects, but they're showing you happy images of people holding hands and going on picnics and, you know, all that stuff.

So.

So everybody's getting hypnotized all the time.

We just should be able to use it to our advantage.

And so, and when I'm working with people now, I was trained originally that if you get them into a deep state and just give them the affirmat, then that's when the magic's going to happen.

And so I did that and I found that it would work and it would be cool, but it would usually wear off.

Right.

And I'm like, well, how do you make it stick?

And over the years, I don't even use hypnotic inductions anymore.

I don't do any of that stuff anymore.

I found that it doesn't matter.

I'll spend like two minutes getting someone relaxed just because that part's helpful.

Feeling relaxed and letting go of the stress.

But instead of doing a 30 minute induction, I'm doing it in two minutes.

And I'm not even having the conversation of can I be hypnotized?

Because everybody is.

Everybody walks around in a trance.

And so you know what sabotages us is when people are like, oh, I don't want you to get in my mind.

First of all, yes, you do, because you'll end up being, feeling more loved and successful and happier and healthier and wealthier.

Right.

But second, it's not about me getting in your mind.

It's about you using your mind in a more powerful way.

Right.

It's like having a really amazing computer.

If you know how to use it, you can do amazing things with it.

And if you don't, you're just going to download a bunch of malware.

Yep, absolutely.

And I love what you talk and talk a little bit more about, like your first and like right before and after, because that's What I've always heard, like I tell people, when you wake up, before you even get out of bed, before you touch your phone, before you do anything, that's the time if you want to turn on an affirmation or you want to just say them yourself or whatever it is because you are still kind of in that sleepy and you're taking it in.

So even if you just wake up and you just tell yourself today is going to be the best day ever.

Yeah.

Your mind works like a gps, right?

Your mind works like a gps.

So when you use your gps, do you tell it all the places you don't want it to go?

No, no, you tell it where you want it to go and it starts to take you there.

And if it, and if you make a wrong turn, does it criticize you and beat you up?

No, it just says make a U turn over here, right?

And then it just course corrects to get you where you want to be.

So use your brain the same way.

So when you're in that open suggestible state of mind, focus on what you want and where you want to be and how you want to feel while you're getting there.

You know, you can use IM statements and you can imagine yourself the way you want so that you're telling your brain what you want, how you want to handle situations, how you want to show up, not just what you want to have, but how you want to go through the day.

And most importantly, if you want to stick who you are becoming.

Because if you associate this as this is my identity, then it's not a goal, it's not a plan that you might or might get off of.

This is who you are and this is who you're becoming.

And so that is something that lasts through time even if you have a bad day.

If a vegetarian has a bad day, they don't run out and have a cheeseburger because that's not who they are.

Right?

And so you know, it's an identity issue.

So if you are in a tough situation, but you know that you're someone who's loved, who's safe, who's resourceful, then you just assume that even in this crappy situation, I'm still going to figure it out.

Everything works out for me in the end.

If it hasn't worked out yet, it just means it isn't the end.

Now another quick secret that you can use is feelization.

So not just imagining what you want, but.

But how does it feel to have it?

So imagine if you did have this, whatever it Is the situation worked out, you stood up for yourself, you got something accomplished.

How's that feel?

And then if you can get someone to feel that feeling now, then they're going to feel that emotion as though it's already happened and now they're feeling pleasure.

And when you associate pleasure to a goal, you're going to follow through.

Motivation flows easily and abundantly.

If you associate pain to a goal, which is what most people are doing, then you're going to procrastinate like crazy.

Because the brain doesn't like pain, it likes pleasure.

So when you're using feelization, you're imagining yourself already having what you want and then you allow yourself to feel good, to feel peaceful.

And then that good feeling which your body is capable of producing will start to help you to follow through more easily.

And that's why fealization works.

Now give an example of someone that's using pain to get to a goal.

Like give a real life what you just said, right?

Wasn't that what you said?

Like you're using pain?

Right.

Well, I mean think of any diet, for example.

Right?

So people are going to want to lose weight.

So what do they do?

The first thing they do is they tell themselves all the things they can't have.

Right?

Right.

I call it using subtraction.

I want you to use addition.

There you go.

Okay, so subtraction is all the things I can't have, my treats I can't have, sugar I can't have, you know, all the things that I go to for love and for connection and to feel a treat or a distraction at the end of the day.

And now I can't have that either.

So now I'm stressed and my reward is more stress.

Okay, so that's not going to last very long.

And diets don't.

So you shouldn't do anything where the first three letters spell die anyway.

So addition, I never thought about that.

So addition is when you're adding.

So I'm going to add foods I love filling my body with foods that are full of nutrition and vitality and wellness and energy that help me get into a right size, healthy, happy body.

For me, right now that sounds like a reward.

That sounds like a treat.

That sounds like something I want more of.

Okay, so pain is no pain, no gain.

I'm going to go work out every today.

I haven't worked out for five years, but today I'm going to go for a three mile walk and now I can't move for the next four days and my brain says I ain't doing that again.

Okay, Pleasure is I'm gonna stretch, right?

Right.

Pleasure is I'm gonna stretch for five minutes, you know, and then that's it.

And then tomorrow I'm gonna stretch and maybe do a five minute walk.

So it feels super easy.

I could do more than that.

I know, but I don't want you to.

I want you to do less.

Because in the beginning you're just getting yourself warmed up and it's your body saying, well, that was easy.

Well, that was easy.

Most people, when they try to climb a mountain, they're staring at the base of the mountain and they're looking up and they're like, oh, man.

But people who successfully climb mountains, they imagine themselves at the top of the mountain, looking down, going, that was awesome.

They start with the end in mind.

And then when they're at the base camp, they're realistic.

They realize they still got to climb the mountain, but they're not climbing to the top, they're climbing to Base Camp 1.

They took big goals and they broke it down into small goals, achievable goals.

So if I have to clean my whole house, I'm not cleaning my whole house.

I'm going to clean the corner of one room and I'm going to get that one corner straightened up.

So when I look at that one corner, that feels good.

Feels.

Instead of looking at the old house.

And going, yep, yep, the old how to eat, how to eat an elephant one bite at a time, kind of.

One bite at a time.

That's exactly right.

So, you know, and then how can I make that bite more yummy?

Right, exactly right.

How can I make that bite more yummy?

Right.

And how can I enjoy eating the bite?

Well, maybe I'm going to use my really nice dishes and I'm going to light a candle and I'm going to play some music in the background.

So I'm creating an experience that feels more pleasurable.

That's where the power questions come in.

How can I make this more fun?

How can I make this more enjoyable?

What would allow me to bring more adventure or fulfillment into this?

Because most people aren't thinking about that.

They're thinking about this is going to suck and how long is it going to take and am I even going to be able to do it?

And they usually thinking they're going to fail from the start, and that's why they do.

And that's just, you know, that just goes back to the glass, half full versus half empty, and that the victor versus victim.

I Mean, it goes back to all that mindset.

But when you're, when you grow up like that, you're wired to look for the bad.

That's why you need someone like you.

You need somebody to, to help you get out of that system, because you are.

You're always expecting the next bad thing to happen.

So.

And when you think about that, it's kind of where your energy goes, reality flows, kind of thing.

Like that's what you're bringing in.

But, yes, what do you, what do you, what do you suggest for people?

Because I know there's a lot of people out there that are like, oh, I can just watch a video and I can learn how to self hypnotize.

And what do you think about that?

I think that that's great and you can use that and that'll be helpful.

But remember, again, if you don't pull the weeds, then you're just throwing dirt on top of them.

So it can be nice and it can give you tools.

You got to strengthen the foundation, and then you can build whatever you want on top of it.

And then.

So, but if you have, if the foundation isn't there, then whatever you build just keeps crumbling.

And that's why people start to lose hope.

Because I've tried this so many times.

You know, one of the things people would say to me for years is, you're my last, my last effort.

You know, I'm my final straw.

I've tried everything else, you know, so I'm hoping you can maybe hypnotize me.

So, like, Kathleen came to me one time and she was, she came in for weight loss.

She was near 300 pounds, and she sat down and she said, I've tried every diet there is.

I just, I can't lose weight.

I can lose 50 pounds, but I just gain it back.

So can you hypnotize me to be a happy fat person?

And then she started crying.

So I knew that that's not really what she wanted.

Right.

And.

Yeah.

And so.

And I had also learned at that time that just hypnotizing her to eat more fruits and veggies wasn't going to cut it because she could write her own book on weight loss.

Right.

So what I knew is that she had these deep beliefs inside that were not allowing her to make herself a priority.

And that's, in fact, true.

So we went back to her childhood, and there was a lot of dysfunction.

And, you know, she learned from the way her father treated her.

She.

She formed this belief in her mind.

Without her awareness, her Brain did it on her behalf without her even knowing it.

Her brain created this belief that dad doesn't love me, so I'm not lovable, so I'm not worth taking care of myself.

So she had a mental rule in her mind that I can't take care of myself because I'm not worthy of that.

I don't deserve it.

So every time she would try to take care of herself to lose weight, she would sabotage it because it didn't match her internal rule.

This is a.

There's people that are listening right now that are like, holy crap, that's me.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, you know, that is what's keeping me stuck.

Right.

So now you know, you need to go upgrade that belief because it's just an opinion.

So that's what I did with Kathleen.

We upgraded that.

And then the secret to weight loss is we associated with the actions making the deposits into her health and happiness account as acts of self love.

So every time she drank the water, every time she stretched, every time she listened to a hypnosis program, every time she ate something healthy, every time she did a push away instead of a push up.

Right.

It was an act of self love.

And 10 months later she was down 144 pounds.

Wow.

And she kept it off for.

That was like nine years ago.

We still stay in touch.

Right?

And so, yeah.

And that's common when you do this.

That's not a fluke, that's common.

This is what happens when you upgrade beliefs.

It changes the game.

People just don't know it.

And that's why, you know, you and I are here doing this now.

Yeah.

Amen.

And I love that, absolutely love that.

Just to be able to have a resource like you though, is, is amazing.

And like you said, I, I kind of.

Yes, I, I understand.

Like there are all those self hypnosis stuff and how to self hypnotize and all that stuff.

But you're right, you're the root problem.

Like, you can listen, you can go to sleep, you, I mean, it's ridiculous.

You look on YouTube and it says, you know, listen to this all night long and you'll wake up abundant.

What.

That can actually do damage because, you know, you wake up and you're not abundant and then it creates a real conflict inside that doesn't say, well, it's because I've got these issues that need to be upgraded and maybe it's false advertising by this person who's just trying to grow their list.

So they're saying anything, you know, lose 30 pounds in 30 days, guaranteed.

They're saying anything just to try to sell you their product.

Right.

Or get a.

Like on a video.

But what your brain says is, no, that's not what's going on.

I'm doing it wrong.

There's something wrong with me.

I'm broken.

And it reinforces the insecurity and the limiting belief.

Yep.

And you're never even addressing the limiting belief ever.

No, no.

It's just, you know, I'm never going to do this.

There's something.

I'm fundamentally flawed.

No, you're not.

It's just a mental software update that needs to happen.

Exactly.

For all of us.

You said earlier, Tammy, that, you know, we kind of are trained early on to go this way, and I call it playing not to lose.

You know, I played not to lose for most of my life, and I had to learn how to play to win.

Right.

Because when you play not to lose, even when you're winning, it will feel like you're not.

I work with a lot of super achievers, very successful people who, on paper, they have it all.

Right.

But on the inside, they're feeling crushed because they can never take their foot off the gas.

They feel like they're going to miss out.

They feel like it's all going to fall apart.

I call it achiever syndrome.

Right.

So even when you're a multimillionaire, you can still feel crushed all the time, like you're going to run out of money.

I was working with a guy who was making $3 million a year, and he always felt like he was not going to have enough money.

And it's not because of reality, it's because of what's going on in his mind.

And we had to upgrade that.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah.

So that's.

It's a whole new world when you learn how to upgrade your unconscious beliefs.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

And it's so liberating.

So liberating.

So you do have a gift for people, I hear.

Tell us about that.

Yes, yes.

Well, it's a.

We'll put it in the show notes.

So we've got a free hypnosis program on building confidence that will help build tools on that foundation.

So kind of there's some videos that explain how hypnosis works, and then it gives you an experience of that.

So that could be really helpful for you.

So we'll put that in the show notes, and then just because of the conversation that we had today, we can put show notes in there to get a free copy of my program.

The Power of youf Unconscious Mind.

Okay.

Because that goes deeper into how you can upgrade your unconscious beliefs.

And so we'll go ahead and give listeners, as long as you subscribe or give this episode a thumbs up or, you know, give the podcast a five star, because if Tammy wasn't doing this, then you wouldn't hear this right now.

So help her show, and then we'll give you a free copy of that program.

I love that.

That is a very generous gift.

If you're out there listening, go grab it because we could.

Who couldn't use a little more confidence and learn more about what you're going through here?

It's all, it's all, you know, it's.

It's all tied together, the body, the mind, the spirit and everything.

But it.

It all is so deep that we think superficially sometimes, like I said, we think.

We look at the Band Aids.

And that's one of my goals, is to get people to stop looking at Band Aids.

Like, don't put a Band Aid on it, as you say, cover it with the wheat, the weeds, cover them with dirt.

That's not getting you anywhere in the long run.

And I call.

I always talk about that emotional backpack that, you know, that invisible backpack that we carry around, and it's all back there.

It's all back there.

Everything.

Everything you've ever done and said and had to deal with or didn't deal with and put it back there.

And it's weighing you down.

That's like you said, the inflammation, the weight, the.

The gut issues, the anxiety.

It's, it's.

And we all live in that now, like so many of us live in that.

And it's just not necessary.

But.

So if people want to talk to you, meet, you do, where's the best place for them to go?

Well, I'm on social media, so if you just look up.

Tim.

Sure.

S H U R R you can find me or.

I built my practice in Indianapolis, Indiana, so I have indie hypnosis IND y hypnosis dot com.

So if you go there, there's plenty of free resources and then if you need help, you can reach out and we'll take care of you as well.

Are you still in Indiana?

Nope, I'm in Florida.

I spent the last couple of years in Los Angeles.

Yeah, I was in Indiana for most of my life, and then I moved out to LA to try to make a difference out there, and then I found that I didn't want to live in LA anymore.

And so now I'm here in Florida.

Whereabouts?

Winter Garden, Right outside of Disney World.

I can see the fireworks.

You tonight.

Okay.

I'm in Orlando.

I mean, I'm in Orlando.

No, I'm not.

I'm in Merritt island.

So I'm like 45 minutes from you.

Awesome.

Wonderful.

Yeah.

And the last guy I had on was in Sarasota, so I guess.

Very good.

Just a local thing today.

I guess so.

Yes, it is.

Yeah.

So thank you so much, Tim, for coming on, you guys.

I will put all of everything he said in the show notes as far as links and everything, so you can get hold of him quickly, but you're not off the hook.

If you had to give the listeners one big, powerful message or something they could take with them throughout the day to make their day a little brighter, what would it be?

Yeah.

That you are already more than enough.

You don't have anything to prove.

And remember, if someone calls you a banana, does it make you one?

No, it does not.

So what matters is what you call yourself, and that's up to you, because you're just one belief away from your next big breakthrough.

Amen.

I absolutely love that.

Thank you so much for coming on, Tim.

Yeah, it was a pleasure.

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

For everybody else out there listening, you heard it.

You are one belief away from having a breakthrough.

So go out today, think positive thoughts and just do it.

Be the best you you could be.

You deserve it.