E 248: Finding Breath Again: Marcia's Earhart's Approach to Trauma Recovery

Well, hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.

Today we have with us Marcia Earhart.

She is the co founder of the Sterling Rose Sanctuary.

She's a trained educator, a certified life grief trauma brain and mental health coach, a mediator, and a heart sync minister.

This, with this extensive academic preparation combined with her deep personal experience, it makes her a powerful coach for those navigating life's most challenging moments.

She is the gifted author of Gripping Grace in the Garden of Grief, A Place for the Heart, a book that deeply resonates with anyone who has experienced or is navigating loss.

She's also a seasoned speaker known for creating safe spaces where individuals can find hope and healing.

Her deepest professional desire is to lead others to the transformative hope so they can breathe again, move again, and fully embrace their God given purpose.

Welcome, Marcia.

Well, thank you so much, Tammy.

I'm so excited to be here with you today.

Yeah.

Doesn't it sound great when someone else reads your bio?

It does.

It's like, who is that person?

Right.

I always say that when people read mine, I'm like, oh, that sounds really good.

So I'm just gonna jump right in.

Your story is going to be sprinkled all throughout this episode because you have such an amazing story of resilience and hope and healing and the fact that life isn't always easy, but you found joy on the other side of tragedy, honestly.

So I'm just going to jump right in and start asking you questions, if that's okay.

Yes, ma'.

Am.

Go for it.

I love it.

Okay, so first of all, tell us the basis of your ministry, because we just kind of touched on that and I love what your basic foundation is.

So talk about that a little bit.

The basis of our ministry is really to give hope and healing for people as they have had so much grief and trauma.

So we work with people who have had grief and trauma in their life to let them breathe again, move again, and live again.

And a lot of people are like, what do you mean by that?

Well, when you've had grief and trauma, you can't breathe.

There's a.

There's something that physically happens to individuals where they're shallow breathing, therefore they're not getting oxygen to their brain.

They're not getting really the oxygen to their body that they need and they become immovable.

They become in a sense of a paralysis, mentally, physically, and they stop living in the abundance of life.

So our whole goal is for everyone to experience the healing that is capable of happening from trauma and Grief so they can experience the fullness of their life again.

And it really was birthed out of the loss of our first son in 2014, who passed in a tragic car accident.

And in 2017, the Lord just said, you need to start the Sterling Rose sanctuary and you need to reach back because there's so many people that need to have tools to have hope.

So that's how it started out.

And we have been so blessed to be invited into these stories because it's holy ground.

Every person's journey is holy ground that they invite you into.

And it's, it is.

We consider it an honor and a privilege that we're having that invitation given to us.

Absolutely.

I, and I love that you do that.

And I, I love that you just want to offer hope because that is what.

When people have a tragedy like the loss of a child, I cannot even fathom losing one of my children like that is something that I honestly, I can't even wrap my head around.

Just the scares that I get where it's a near close thing or the panic that I feel.

So I can imagine though that feeling and I have felt that feeling of being so in despair and lack of hope that you're right, you can't breathe.

And it's funny because when I talk to my clients, that's the first thing we do is you can just look at someone's chest and you can tell they probably haven't had a deep breath in years.

It's just that constant tension and stress.

And how do you.

So do you work?

Like you said, you're getting ready to get a place.

Do you do retreats?

Are you one on one?

Are you group or how does.

Well, we're raising the funds right now and we want a place that is really for individuals and for couples.

One couple at a time, one individual, one family at the time.

We do not do group.

My philosophy is if you've had trauma, you don't need to be having someone unpack their trauma while you've been trauma.

I'm not a fan of group settings doing that because first of all, that's a lot.

If someone's already got some complicated traumatic grief, they do not need to be hearing other people because what that does is it interferes in the neurons with their own grief and it becomes even more overwhelming.

So our, our perspective is we want those individuals at a to be able to come for three to five days and it really would be kind of around either.

And we work with people all over the US Tammy and in six countries and so we do that on the phone.

And so at the culmination, what I would love is for those people to be able to come in for those three to five days for a reset.

Because see, we need a reset in our brain and in our body.

So a, a place offers that and it gives us the ability to come in and to have that rest and to have renewal and then to feel a sense of that redemption and resurrection life.

Because the property is going to have as much value because we want you outside side.

I mean, there's not going to be any entertainment for you because you've got to get back connected to nature and to walking and being in a place where you feel a sense of peace.

And quite often the environments that most people are living in, they feel the stressors and they carry it.

Now we work with people with diaphragmatic breathing when, when we, like you were talking about, you can tell the chest.

I can tell just in someone talking to me, right?

And they're talking kind of shallow and it just.

And I can tell they're kind of gasping for air.

And I always say, sweetie, let's just start with some diaphragmatic breathing and let's.

I need for you to start learning how to breathe and I want you to do this several times a day.

So that's, that's the beginning.

And because we really want, because what happens is the body keeps the score, it stores the trauma in it.

So we want them to be able to have multiple tools in the releasing.

And we got to start with breathing.

And then we're, we, we actually start with.

Give yourself permission to grieve.

Then the breathing.

And then the next thing is I need you to get outside at least 15 to 30 minutes just to start.

Because a lot of times they're very resistant if they're not people that get outside.

No, I don't.

I just, I'm not comfortable.

And I said, but sweetie, I need for you to.

Because it really will change the way your mind and your body are incorporating this.

And sure enough, Tammy, within a week, my client.

Oh my goodness.

I mean, like, I had no idea.

And I said, so can we increase that?

And so even, even if it's just starting to sit, because a lot of times they don't have the energy.

But what it.

The, the point and the goal is to get them moving outside because life is abundant outside.

And that's why for us, our ministries in Florida, we would, you know, God called us to a place that has life all year round.

People are dreaming they don't need to see things that are dead.

Right, Right.

They need to see life.

They need to see the greenery.

They need to see the blue skies.

They need that because that's part of hope to me, is the color and just the exchange that we have in the nature of what we're walking around and we're seeing.

Well, just the energy and just the grounding of in touch with nature and God or whatever you want to call it is.

Is amazing.

I do that.

And I know it was.

It was funny because it was actually.

I had a stroke in January, and it was my neurologist that told me the best thing you can do for your brain is walk outside and put your face to the sun and just soak it up for 10 minutes.

Within an hour of waking up, it resets your circadian rhythms.

It gets.

You did it like, the benefits are insane.

And I mean, I'm fortunate.

I live in Florida as well.

So I can.

Even if I don't feel like walking, which I usually do because I have a dog, but even if I don't, just to go outside and put my feet on the ground and just sit and just absorb.

So beneficial.

The grounding also is important.

You were talking about grounding.

Grounding is so important.

We don't understand.

Get barefooted, get on the grass, get on the ground, stand there, walk there.

Because you don't used to do this as a kid.

Nobody goes for your foot anymore.

We go to the beach all the time to go barefoot so we can reset the frequency within our body.

We really work in the sanctuary with all of that.

People like frequency.

Is that new age?

No, it's not.

All of our parts have a frequency to it.

We were God designed, hardwired that way.

And so we need to understand there are certain ways that we can reset that frequency and that we can release toxins and have renewal.

Oh, yeah.

And grounding is a big one.

I actually do with my clients.

I do.

And anybody really that wants it, I do a frequenc frequency scan with them with the voice scan that detects like 171,000 imbalances.

And so often the recommendations it will give you will be, get outside, walk outside, be in nature.

I mean, those are the recommendations.

Literally, this thing gives you to reset those frequencies.

I mean, it sends balancing harmonics and noise and.

And things like that.

But yeah, no, we're all energy.

And the energy of the Earth is so insanely powerful.

Yeah.

Can you walk the people through?

If you.

If they're listening and they're like, wait, diaphragmatic breathing?

What, what talk.

Walk them through what your beginning breathing techniques would be to kind of lighten up and just get that feeling that they need.

So we do the 5, 6, 7 for diaphragmatics.

So what we do is we tell them to inhale in their nose and to inhale five.

You know, to inhale up to five, where.

But they need to lay down because most people do not breathe properly and that their stomach should be rising up when they're breathing because they're, Most people breathe from their chest.

This is part of the problem.

Our breathing needs to be from our diaphragm.

But your, your stomach actually rises up in your diaphragm area when you're breathing properly.

So they need to lay down and their hand should need to put their hand right underneath where their, the rib cage ends and their chest.

That area, the below area should rise up.

And as they're breathing in their nose, they breathe in for five, they hold it for six, and then they release through their mouth for seven.

And they start slowly.

And when they're exhaling at that final.

It's a, where it's.

Exhale like that, deeper, A push.

Because we want the, the toxins that have built up in your lungs to get released.

And we really encourage them to do this for 10 minutes.

I love it.

Very healthy.

And some are like, I can only do it five.

I said five's better than none.

I mean, one is better than none.

Exactly.

And so.

But also for people who have anxiety and depression, it's an amazing tool to help them reset.

If they start breathing and they focus on something very positive or they focus on, like, if they're like being at the beach, something their favorite thing, you, you imagery.

It's very important imagery in your mind.

And that part.

I'm a heart sync minister.

That part of heart sync, it's imagery.

It's, you know, we ask people, imagine where, for a believer, where Jesus would meet you.

For a non believer, imagine where you would go.

That would be a place where there would be peace and calm.

Right.

And so I bet you yours is the beach.

Oh, mine is the beach.

It is.

I love it.

I love it.

And I, I do.

I go to that place often in my head.

But guess what?

As I've healed, I now have expanded to all sorts of places that I go.

Now I want people to hear that since I've healed, I go to all sorts of places.

When we're in trauma and grief, there may be just that one place.

And Sometimes you may never have even been there.

Honestly, you have to make it up.

You have to picture.

Yeah, you.

Yeah.

And that was a very big thing because a lot of people that are still dealing, that are deep in that trauma, they don't even know who they are or what they like.

So I'm like, picture.

I mean, if you want it to.

Whatever you need it to be or want it to be.

And.

And I remember the first time that I actually literally was like, okay, this is my place.

And I was laying on the beach, and I was just doing some just gentle, like, meditation.

And all of a sudden it was like.

I mean, this was years ago, but I can remember to this day the feeling that came over me, like, okay, this is the vision I want in my mind when I need to get myself to a better place.

And for a long time, it took a while to get there, but now it's like, bam, you.

You're there.

Yes, you can get to their self there very quickly.

And a lot of people, too.

I mean, and if you can't even come up with that place, a lot of people I've, you know, worked with, I'm just like, just breathe in and picture an amazing, you know, bright light around you and just all the positive energy in the world that you can think of.

And then when you breathe out, get rid of anything that doesn't serve you.

That's what we say.

You're.

When you're inhaling, we want you to inhale life.

When you're exhaling, we want you to exhale all the toxins.

We want you to visualize anger and sorrow.

And that I don't feel worthy.

Anything that's going on in you that is toxic, to release that in the exhaling of your breath.

And then when we breathe back in.

And for Christians, we say, you're breathing in the very breath of the Lord.

He's feeling you and sustaining you.

It's his breath.

And so it's life because he came to give abundant life.

And so we want you to see that life.

And, girl, I can see it when I do it, because I can feel it, because it is just all encapturing of who I am.

And I just feel this exuberance come into me, and I can tell when that toxin.

And that's.

And I need your audience to know that's what I did after the loss of our first son.

The Lord said, I need you to come in and I need you to breathe in my presence, and I want to give you breath, and I want you to Exhale all the toxins.

And he.

He started speaking over me, this prayer, and I actually wrote it down and it's in my book because it's very powerful because the Lord started in my mind because, see, we can have toxic thoughts, toxic rewiring of the mind due to trauma, because the amygdala in the back of our brain stores the trauma.

And the amygdala has to have some healing.

So he started and he went through all of it, and then he coursed in through my face because we keep our tension, our stress and our pain and our facial.

And he is just going through all my body, just releasing.

Releasing all that pain, all that trauma.

And it's an amazing process because at the end of it, you're not the same.

No, you're not.

No.

And it's out there for the taking for anybody.

It doesn't mean it matter your beliefs if it.

None of that matters.

You know, I know I believe in God.

So when I tell people that are not believers, I.

In my mind, I'm thinking, okay, you breathe this in and this is what you're taking in.

But it might be some.

Looks something different to somebody else.

And that's.

And, but here's totally right.

Yeah.

God came to heal all people.

Absolutely.

People to understand he doesn't want anyone suffering.

No.

Yeah.

Absolutely not.

And you made a good point while we were talking too, though.

You have to really, truly believe that there is hope.

Hope and that you can be healed.

A lot of people, you made a comment that somebody said just this is, I'm going to live with this forever.

Or, you know, people that grew up in those traumatic childhoods.

You know, we talk about the aces and the.

I know you had a lot of struggles because you had a couple adopted children and you had.

They had the struggles of the detachment, anxiety and all those detachment issues and stuff like that.

Anybody can heal.

Doesn't matter where you're at.

It doesn't matter what you've been through, but you have to want to and you have to do a little work.

Well, and then that's what it's.

It's being intentional.

Healing is not going to happen in time.

Healing happens because we are intentional in choosing to do what is necessary.

And let me say, most people go, it's going to be too hard.

You know what's more hard?

Holding on to the trauma and the grief that you have in you.

That's harder.

Yeah, see, that's harder.

It's really easier to get into the process of healing because it sets you Free.

The kind of the vision I give is.

It's the chains being taken off of you, and now you're able to run free.

Where is, you know, afterward, before you are chained to the ground and you only have a certain amount of room that you can move.

And then you got to come back just like a dog that's on a leash that pulls it back.

That's what trauma is to the body.

So, you know, you have to visualize that, too.

I think everything, if people can visualize it and go, well, I don't want to be chained.

Well, you are chained.

You're chained by the reactions that you're having because of.

But there's hope, because that's not how you have to continue to live.

Right?

You can live in abundance.

You can live in victory.

You can live with a return of joy in your life and embracing that.

Absolutely.

Oh, I love it.

It makes me warm.

It gives me warm fuzzies.

So talk about some of the other things besides, you know, breathing that you can talk to, you know, that you use with people to help them just really navigate.

Navigate that kind of grief.

Because even just the loss of a child, I mean, not just the loss of a child, but taking that one instance, what are some other things?

I know the hope is so important.

And how do you get that?

Well, we have a conversation with people when they come in about boundaries, because first of all, people have to have good boundaries in order to heal.

Quite often, lines have been crossed, even with grief.

And that's part of healing.

It's part of implementing safe parameters for you and your family and how you navigate.

And that we see people personalize so much of other people's behaviors towards them based on their traumatic experiences and the grief they're experiencing.

So part of the tools that we're implementing is sitting down and going over some very practical things.

One being, we use the enneagram, especially if we're dealing with a family, so they can see, and we use the spiritual enneagram so they can actually see.

Everyone has a different way.

They are unique in dealing with trauma, with situations in their life.

Because in a space you're.

There may be four or five of you or two of you, but the reality is you're not going to deal with your trauma the same way.

So we see where families are ripped apart, couples ripped apart, even individuals that are single lose community or.

And some of that is unavoidable.

I need to make that very clear.

Some of that is unavoidable, but some of it is due to the way the griever, the person who's traumatized is interacting and how their Persona is in receiving information.

So we do, we do some deep work with that.

I actually, as a heart sync minister, we work on taking those parts, Tammy, that are desynchronized from the heart.

And we bring.

We go into that place that we talked about, where's that place that you visualize, and we do some releasing in each of those parts to where they are now upgraded into how they were created to be.

And then there is this receiving so they can walk in to their created design in that part.

So this is, this is, this is not just.

There are multiple parts that have.

That get fractured quite often when we have trauma.

And if you've had multiple traumas, then you have multiple fractions.

Yeah, I was going to say that it's like internal family systems.

It's like the parts work and, and some are protective and some are, you know, you have to really navigate that.

And that's why it's great to have a coach or a therapist or whatever you need to help you kind of navigate that.

Because sometimes you don't know.

You know, you don't know if it's, if it's you, if it's the.

And.

And I don't like the expression, you know, you got to become a new you.

Because I love that you pointed out you're not becoming a new you, you're becoming back to the you that you were born.

Well, exactly.

We're becoming who we were created to be all along because we were fractured from that.

And I, and I, you know, I think people believe, well, this has happened and this is how it's going.

No, no.

There's so much beauty in that.

I do believe that, you know, grief allows a transformation of beauty.

If we allow it.

And that's an.

If we allow it.

And we have to understand grief needs to be a friend, not an enemy.

Because we're going to grieve so many things on this side, and we're going to continue to grieve until we die.

I mean, it's just the reality.

And we're going to lose things all around us, whether it's our dreams, jobs, you know, a pet, bam, whatever.

Loss is a part of our everyday life.

And yet people run.

They're trying to run from grief, they're trying to run from the losses.

If you learn to embrace it, then you have the tools and the ability to overcome in that space and not be overwhelmed in that space.

But coming from a, from in putting it in layman's terms, like, how do you do that?

How do you embrace something that is so painful?

Well, you have to be able to realize that that pain comes from the fact that you haven't had an investment in whatever it was.

And that that investment was not necessarily the wrong thing or the pain came from the fact that you were violated.

Because that's not always an investment.

I want to make that clear.

Right.

But that you're not broken.

And I want to.

I want to say something.

I don't believe anybody's broken.

I believe we're broken open.

There's a difference in being broken versus being broken open.

Broken open gives me the ability to.

To continue to grow and.

And move in a new direction.

But when I'm broken, it's like a plate that breaks into many different pieces.

They're just.

It just.

You scoop it up and you just put it all together and it's just there and there's nothing happening.

The fe broken up and it's like a seed where seed gets broken open so that it can shoot through that hard soil to come up.

And you just see that little text green thing that's just come up, that's the broken open and that's your whole.

And so how do.

How do you do that?

You do that by the fact that 1.

We rewire the brain.

Because really, where is the battle in the mind?

The mind holds the toxic space for the words you're speaking.

Quite often we have to do a lot of.

Of work with how you're speaking, what you're saying and what your.

Your thoughts are.

And so we tell them, you need to take that thought captive, write it down, and then replace it with a life sentence.

Replace it with a scripture that is life in that place.

So give us, give.

Give us an example for the people listening.

Because I know that if you're anxious to be anxious for nothing, but in all things, you know, make your requests known to the Lord to be anxious for nothing, that means nothing.

What does that.

Zero.

So if I'm.

And I'm going, oh, I mean, I'm just over, you know, I'm feeling anxious and.

And then I go, oh, wait, there's that verse.

To be anxious for nothing.

But in prayer, I can put all my prayer requests and give it over.

And what I tell my clients, visualize yourself giving it over, letting go of it and going, okay, I'm just here and I'm going to receive that there's peace in this place.

Because see, we.

There's a.

There's A co partnering here with what we do.

So it starts shifting the mind.

And what happens is it starts shifting our physical bodies because everything you speak, again, the body is lining up with.

So we want the body to be aligned in living from the tree of life, not the tree of death.

When people, when.

If you are speaking negativity to others, to yourself, if you're thinking it, then you're living from the tree of death.

If you're speaking to life, if you're believing life, even when you're sick, this is something.

Because quite often when people have trauma, they have a lot of illnesses due to the fact of.

Yeah, so here's what happens.

If I am diagnosed with something like a cold.

I don't say I have a cold.

I say my body is in the process of fighting this.

This little varmint that has come along and it's in the process of getting well.

And that's how I speak.

Because I'm not claiming that my body's going to hold on to this, that it hasn't.

Now, some people go, that's crazy.

No, because for people who have been studied with cancer and different things, they've actually noticed what you think, what you speak lines up with your body.

And there's people, there is scientific proof to what I'm saying that your mind has the power to align your body into wholeness and healing.

Therefore, that is the hope that we have in the fact that we're going to spend.

Speak truth to our mind, not let us go.

Well, you know, I've just always just.

I've never had any luck and my life's always looked like this.

And it's going to continue that right there.

You've just.

These are vows that you're continuing to speak and declare over your life.

So what we want you to do is speak the vows that were given to you of life and infusion of life.

You know what?

Every good and perfect gift is meant for me.

Every blessing is meant to come upon me.

I'm going to sit in a posture to receive.

I'm going to.

I'm going to walk in a posture to receive.

I'm going to reorient my mind and my soul.

So I want your clients here to hear something.

The soul in scripture is what is talked about the most, that is weary and tired, not our spirit.

The spirit of man can be absolutely strengthened through the word of God.

However, when we see scripture, scripture goes, oh, downcast is my soul.

How is your soul?

I mean, it's all about the soul.

Why?

Because the body is keeping that pain and that trauma.

But what we see in scripture, especially with David, David releases that right back to the Lord and he says, but God, I know that you are good, that you were blessing me.

So what we see is David gives his complaint, but then he receives the truth of what is going on in his life, in his mind, in his body, and he starts speaking it, and that's where he ends up.

So can we speak?

But we gotta end up back at the tree of life, people back there.

No, I agree.

I have, you know, I used to.

For years, I used to listen to Joe Dispense's morning meditation because it just woke up and it was like the first thing you heard in the morning was, today is going to be your most incredible day and you are going to make it that way.

And I would wake up and be like, I would just hit play.

And that was.

It was just how I started my day.

A couple minutes and then I did, like, my gratitude and all that stuff.

But it was just hearing me say to myself, today is the day that I make it.

And I choose it to be amazing.

Like, period.

The starting the day, the power of.

The mind and the words that we speak.

And it tells us that our words have power and they do.

Well, I mean, just energetically.

And I say that all the time to people just, you know, and people that feel selfish, you know, treating themselves or feel selfish when they take care of themselves.

And I'm like, the most selfless thing you can do is be the best version of you, because that is the energy you're putting into the world.

That is what people are getting.

It's more selfish to be putting negative energy and sucking it out of people because you're really either doing one of two things.

You're either putting that positivity in or you're sucking the life out.

Yes.

Yeah, and let me, let me speak to that.

If there are people around you that are negative, then you need to pull back from some of that because that's toxic for your body.

And not that you don't have any relationship, but you need to be careful how much time you allow people who have negative talk, negative.

A negative spirit of life to be around you, because I can guarantee you it will pull you down.

And you've got to find life givers who want to breathe life into you, who want to shout life in you, who want to celebrate life with you and enjoy life with you.

It's important that we establish that sense of community around us, because I can tell you that's where that impacts the body, mind and soul.

Oh, absolutely.

And just, you know, when you're around, you feel it, you walk into a room or if you're in a bad relationship, you feel it, you walk in and your whole life, I watch people, their whole composure changes and tighten, tight and tighten.

And you're like, oh my goodness.

And we're grown.

Part of my French.

We're grown a adults.

Like we don't have to explain to anybody why we're pulling back.

We don't have to do.

I mean, you are given this amazing sense of intuition and we need to start listening to it.

Yes.

And that's one of the things we work on in the Sterling Rose Sanctuary in our healing is for an unveiling of new discernment and intuition.

Because quite often people have been traumatized, they've been questioned so much they don't listen to that inner voice or they've become confused.

Yes.

To the truth of what that inner voice is.

So we do work with that, Tammy.

Yeah.

Now that's, I think, yeah, I think that's one of the biggest things because especially when you grow up and it's your whole life that you've been told to ignore that or it doesn't matter.

I mean, if it's not validated, you, you learn to not trust it anymore.

And that's just, and that's big part is just coming back to yourself and learning to trust.

Trust your thoughts and trust your beliefs and trust your, your gut feelings and your hope and.

But wow.

Yeah, yeah, you could say a lot like.

Yeah, no, it is.

There's just so much, and you've had so much that you've gone through and to, to be, like I said, to be that beacon of light for other people is absolutely amazing.

And we appreciate you so much.

Well, and I just, I want to say, you know, we, we had another loss in 2019.

Our second son was murdered with his girlfriend by an ex boyfriend who had been estranged for a year and a half.

And so we understand the necessity of applying what I'm talking about here.

I am not just a clinician that has.

Wow, these are great.

Now I am, I'm a person who has been broken open number of times with the rawness of grief right around me and, and I've had a choice in it.

So I can tell you I am living proof that that healing is for everyone because I have been healed from those losses.

And there's beauty in the fact that we can have that new life.

And so it's understood we're not going to get over.

We.

We process and we incorporate the grief and the trauma.

And if it's people or special situations, we incorporate that in ourselves and we keep the memories and the people with us that move forward with us.

And so my sons go wherever I go because they're very much a part of me.

Absolutely.

So I want everyone to understand it's not a one or the other.

No, you're not, you're not letting go.

You're not forgetting them.

You're not doing anything, that you're moving.

Yes.

No, I. I get it.

And a lot of people, I feel like, they feel like they're.

They feel like if I quote, unquote, get over it, that I'm not honoring their memory or honoring something.

But it's.

It's so much different than it's.

Well, that's why I said that, because most of people that come here are just like, but.

And I said, sweetie, you're not leaving.

You're incorporating.

Because the love will always.

If it's a loss of a person, the level always be present.

We're not.

We don't get over love.

No.

And I don't want to get over love.

No, you're not replacing.

You know, you're not.

And if it's.

If it's dream, then what we do is we're like, okay, those dreams I now have needed to have a burial.

Those dreams I needed.

And we had this.

We had to let go of those dreams.

And I didn't dream for a while.

And then the Lord said to me one day, I need you to dream again.

It's time.

And I started dreaming again.

And it's been wonderful.

And so again, if we allow ourselves to be participate in the journey of healing, it's a beautiful unfolding to me of a transformative place one could never imagine.

And it's special and unique to each person in their grief and their trauma.

Absolutely.

Marsha, this has been absolutely amazing.

I could talk to you all day long.

Tell us about your book quickly.

And, you know, just tell us.

Give us.

Don't tell us the whole thing, but tell us a little bit about your book.

It just came out, right?

Or is it about it did.

It came out in May.

Came out okay.

It is.

And we just had.

We had a soft launch.

I take that back.

The hard launch just happened in September.

The book is really a companion for those who are great.

It is my story.

I never intended for this to be a book.

I'm just going to be honest.

This is my writings the things that I experienced, it's the rawness of what I think all people feel in any grief of a loss of someone.

It's.

It's the.

We feel naked, we feel so vulnerable.

We feel raw and exposed.

And so I write in those places that reveal in that moment whatever was going on.

But there's hope in each one of those because hope was always being spoken into me and by the Lord and by my choosing to hope and believe and to receive.

And part of that is the fact that we need other people to come alongside of us.

We need to know there are other people that are.

That go through this kind of pain in the journey.

And sometimes I feel like people don't want to tell the raw places, right?

Well, I tell the raw places, but it also has pictures in it.

Because one of the things I had asked Tammy was as soon as this happened, I said, lord, I want to see every time you show up for me.

And I love to do photography.

And I pretty much took my camera and the Lord showed up and beauty around me continuously.

I mean, to this day, even though I have the pictures, the moments are so etched in my life because I remember living and breathing in that moment, in that space.

And then at the end kind of of the story, it does talk about some things that I think it.

It really realigned in truth, some myths that people have begun to believe or speak.

And it kind of encourages people in your grief journey, speak and tell people when you're uncomfortable hearing things, if they're saying a platitude.

And I'll be honest, I said to me, someone, there were several people that said and said platitudes.

And I said, I realized that may have made you feel more comfortable, but what that said to me is that my grief needs to be silenced.

Right?

And not rudely, but I feel like if we don't take the opportunities to teach other people when we're grieving, we miss the mark.

And then the very end just really talks about that there should be treasures from the dark for each of us when we come out of these horrific places.

And I want the treasures.

So ask and look for the treasures to bring with you, because there are abundant and I don't want anybody missing any of them.

Right?

So that's what it's for.

It's just, oh, my gosh, I got to put this on my list of like a hundred thousand books I have to read because everybody, so many people come on here and they have these great books and I. I will definitely read, but I Think more important, most importantly, it is to spread the message to the listeners out there that if, you know, grab the book because it is a story.

Yes, she's vulnerable, she's raw, she's.

She gives all the, the, the things.

But at the same time, it's filled with hope and it's filled with the story that there is hope and there's healing and it's out there.

Oh, thank you, Marsha.

Welcome.

And I want people to know that book is not to be read like within.

It won't be read within a week.

There's some introspective questions in the beginning.

This is not about my journey and this is about your journey, the listener.

And that's what I tell you in the beginning.

Do not try because it can be heavy.

Grief is heavy.

But what it is, is take those questions and then be honest with yourself.

Keep a journal and allow yourself healing over each one of those things that you see in your own life.

And you can call us and we can help you with heart healing through our ministry, because that's what we do.

And we'd love that.

Absolutely.

And what is the best place for them to reach you?

Everything will be in the show notes that you gave me.

But what is the very best, quickest, easiest place for them to reach you?

The Sterling Rose Sanctuary.

They can either look the Sterling Rose Sanctuary up and we have a website, but it's www.the SterlingRose Sanctuary US.

And we picked the US because I liked the us that it's us coming together to be able to.

To overcome.

It's funny because when I saw your website, when I saw that on your little form, for some reason I read it as us.

And I've never done that before.

I've always read it as us.

So that's so funny that you said that.

Well, that's how I saw it, as us.

And I was like, I like us because we're doing this collectively.

We're not leaving anybody behind.

No, I love that.

So thank you so much for coming on.

But I have one more question for the listeners and for all of my guests.

I always have them leave the listeners with one big picture word of wisdom or something practical or tangible they can take with them through the day to make their day a little brighter.

Well, I think that most important if you're in trauma and grief, is to know that where you are right now, you're not going to be there necessarily 10 minutes from now, an hour from now, or 24 hours, and that I, I want them to be able to say, okay, this is temporary.

And for them not to make a permanent decision with a temporary pain that is happening in their life, but to look at the lining, the silver lining, because it's there to open their eyes and to be able to receive that and say, you know what?

I'm receiving the silver lining in this right now.

And receive it and then walk in it.

And I pray that they do.

And I hope that everyone on here builds the sense of hope and encouragement, because it's what we all want.

It's what we all need.

Absolutely.

Thank you so much.

And I think if people will just take what you said throughout this episode and just apply one thing, they will be taking that first step forward.

So thank you so much for coming on, Marcia.

I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much, Tammy.

I've so enjoyed our time.

Yes, absolutely.

And for everybody else out there listening, you heard it.

It doesn't matter where you are.

I mean, you could be going through something absolutely horrendous.

But there is hope and there is healing at the other side, and you are so worthy to go find it and embrace it.

So thank you, and you all have a blessed day, and we will see you back next week.