Fact, complete forgiveness is essential for our growth. In this episode we discuss what it means to truly forgive ourselves and others. Discover the power of releasing and letting go!
About the Host:
Jani Roberts is the Owner of Alignment Essentials, a health and wellness company spanning the fitness, self-improvement, and mindfulness spaces. She is the creator of the Warrior® Workout, Moving Meditations™, Inspirational Conversations™ and all of the Alignment Essentials programming content. In addition, Jani is an International best-selling author of the book, Navigating the Clickety-Clack, How to Live a Peace-Filled Life in a Seemingly Toxic World.
Jani has over 40 years of experience in the health and wellness field. She owned and operated a large gym franchise in Florida, as well as a boutique studio for several years where she specialized in health and wellness related services, products, preventative health education, personal training, small group fitness classes, private nutrition and health coaching.
She has literally trained hundreds of thousands of instructors around the world, and she was the featured choreographer and performer on numerous training DVDs. She has presented for dozens of large Health and Wellness brands such as Nike, and Adidas. She holds several certifications through ACE, AFAA and NASM.
Jani travels extensively as a speaker and presenter sharing her Alignment Essentials wellness tools and helping people find more joy in their lives and is currently training at the Shamanic Institute of Healing.
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What? Life isn't supposed to suck? Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy? That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready? Unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host, Jani Roberts, let's do this.
Jani Roberts:Welcome, friends. So happy to be back with you again, today. It is fall right now, you know, who knows what time of year it will be when you are actually listening to this episode of our living in alignment podcast. But for us, here it is currently fall. And this is such a great time to release. Whatever is not serving you in your life, it is just such a letting go time that trees are letting go of the leaves at me. It's just release, release release. So let's do it. If we're hanging on to any forgiveness issues, we need to let that shit go. How do we do it? It's process? Absolutely. It's a process. And we're going to work through that. together today, and I think I've got some ideas that could be helpful for you. Certainly, I hope that they will be. First and foremost, understanding that forgiving ourselves and forgive forgiving others, is essential for our spiritual growth. It's very difficult to expand spiritually, when we are not in a forgiving state of mind, when we're just hanging on to that stuff. Sometimes people will say, you know, I can forgive you. But I'll never forget, that's a little sticky. Because true forgiveness wouldn't hold a requirement of hanging on to. So sure we can make a note to self. If there's something that we would do different if we were in that same situation next time. But for now, we need to know that full forgiveness is absolutely essential for our growth. And if nothing is more important than that we feel good, then hey, why wouldn't we choose to work with forgiveness when we have been hurt, or we feel as though someone else has hurt us. This is obviously painful. It's it can be a major struggle to deal with. But when it's happened in the past, and you feel like you have forgiven it, and yet something triggers an emotion, and you can just feel that rage. And know that you haven't really done that forgiveness work. It's a great indicator. These thoughts, these feelings, these emotions around resentment or anger, or hatred, that's a big one. These really represent very low energy sources really disable it's like disabling energy, really, it just is empowers you. So if we choose to continue to stay in that struggle and not do the forgiveness work, we are going to be in a more disempowered state. Because at the end of the day, all of these thoughts, the the anxiety around it, like I mentioned resentment or anger or hatred, this all takes up space. And how are we going to stay in a peaceful plays and still have all of that going on? So why not considering releasing them? Or let's put it this way, like, let's ask the question, if you could release it, and you knew it would bring you more peace? Would you do it? So my message to you here is that it is law. When you release these emotions that do not serve that are connected to this forgiveness topic. When you release them, you will experience more peace. There is no question about that there is no exception to the rule. You will feel relief and you've probably already experienced this. Because certainly you have done some forgiveness work whether you're aware of it or not. And you do find relief. So we want to stay in our now. Right? Right. We want to stay in our now we're We're probably going to be dealing with forgiveness issues from the past.
Jani Roberts:So it's important first to recognize that we don't have to carry what's happened in the past into the future, that's a choice. You might not like that answer or that thought, if you will. But as a choice, you can let it go or you can not let it go. And more than likely, I think we, it would be fair to say that most of us, we have to do what we have to do. And when we're ready, we're ready. And if we're not ready, right, in this moment, it's okay. We're not ready. But the sooner we get ready, the sooner we find the peace. The sooner you get ready, the sooner you experience more peace. So if we want to get out of this muddiness, the stickiness around our thoughts, you know, and they just come in, and they just put you in that energetic place. And I don't know about you, but it's like, Are you freaking kidding me, I don't want to give away so much power to these people that really don't know really care about me, they're doing what they need to do, probably doing the best they can with what they have. And know God knows what they've been taught, I don't walk in their shoes, I can have that belief, understanding compassion for someone who has done me wrong, if you will. But there's also a different perspective where we can actually move through forgiveness and actually into gratitude. Now, this is a big one. So just bear with me here. But what I have to say is that once you do the forgiveness work, you can actually look at an experience that's happened that you used to look at with anger, frustration, I mean, volatile, anger, anger, like just hatred, almost. And you can, with time, and with the work doing the work, you can actually come into a place of gratitude. Wow, I am so glad that I went through that experience, because it served me so well in the future. And some people will say, you know, screw that. It's not going to serve me. Okay, this is where you are right now. But I'm here to share with you that over time, perspective does change. You already know this, but I'm just reminding you, it does change. If I come out of a really dysfunctional relationship, now it all starts out great. And then it just until it isn't, right. And I resent it, I feel like I wasted a lot of my time, my life, what have you. And then I get into a new relationship, and it's so much more of what I truly want. And that is partially a result of having had the other relationship. That turned out being what I didn't want and created clarity for me. Now, do we have to go through a lot of all of that to get to the better choice? No, we don't. But we have to be paying really paying attention to how we feel to our beliefs to what's attracting us to a person checking ourselves for patterns, like what's it really all about. And if we don't have the experience to do that, in the moment that we're probably going to experience some contrasts along the way, until we find a partner that really works for us. And it's almost always different than you think it's going to be. I think we can all contest that. So our life is like chapters of a book. Some of the characters who come in have short play short parts. Others are in for almost every chapter. We've got some good guys, we've got some not such good guys, but they're all necessary. We have parts of ourselves that surface, I'm no longer that person anymore. Well, you are. But you're not right. It's part of who you are now. And certainly that part of you serves and has served and is equally important. But now you have the balance, you have the expansion, you have the growth, you have the understanding. And if you're stuck around that part, then reach out to me directly at info at alignment essentials.com. And we'll schedule some time in chat about this, I can go a little bit more in depth. But it is very, very important to understand that everything that we attract into our experience has an important role to play. So we want to embrace it all. Again, you might want to smack me across the face when I say that. No, I don't want to embrace that. Asshole. That was in my experience last month, last year, five years ago, five minutes ago, whatever. That wasn't good. That wasn't cool. That was uncalled for. Blah, blah, blah.
Jani Roberts:But I really am saying to you once you are in a place of alignment, where you are experiencing and practicing If this works, that you, you are creating your own reality, you're gonna have so much less of those people, or those experiences coming, I mean, they're just not going to be attracted to your energy is just not going to happen. And if you don't believe me, well, then I dare you, it's on, do the work, and then come back and let me know how it goes. And if you're not sure how to do the work, contact us. And we'll get you moving forward. And in a very short time, 90 days, you'll see, that's how certain I am that this work works. Second, we want to really reconnect with spirit when we are out of alignment, it's really because we are disconnected from source. So we've got to create a new chapter, or a new agreement with ourselves. That our priority is to know that nothing is more important than that we feel good. And a huge part of that is staying connected to source. This really isn't hard to do. But as human beings, we tend to struggle with it. So we got to pay attention. How am I disconnecting from source? I go, I go to this, it is a go to for me. But if you're feeling frustrated, tired, angry, resentful. Take your shoes off, go put your feet in the dirt, go for a walk in the woods, hit the beach, go alone. Take some music without lyrics. And just be take some deep breaths, wherever you're sitting right now. And allow source in. This is your role. Allow source to move through you allow this connection. And if you're if you're listening to our podcast for the first time, you might be like what? I don't know how to do that. What are you talking about? You can't get this wrong. Just start getting outside, quieting your mind, creating space for peace. Turn the TV off, turn the music off, turn the noise off the computer, the phone, leave it very difficult for source to flow through that. Get outside, connect with nature, allow and nurture this agreement that you have with source. I mean, we're so quick to blame everything and everyone when things aren't working for us. And yet we really aren't nurturing our connection to Source which is where all of our power lies. So it's pretty funny really that we just ignore the most obvious why? Maybe because it's more of the unknown. And and we're not necessarily drawn to the unknown. Some of us are but some of us aren't. We want to, we want to be comfortable in what we already know and understand. Well, if you want to grow spiritually, get ready to get uncomfortable, because you will be uncomfortable. And you will begin to crave that feeling of being uncomfortable. Because you will know that when you're slightly uncomfortable, I'm not talking about suffering. I'm just talking about growth. There's a big difference. The difference? And I'm a little uncomfortable like ooh, I don't know what she's talking about. That's weird. You want me to do what? Turn it all off all the technology and go sit outside and do what? And think about what to think about nothing. Just be What do you mean just be I don't know how to just be I need something to do. You mean just sit there. Yo, can I take a book, you can if that starts if that's a stepping stone, can I take music if that's a stepping stone but eventually quiet. Be like your cat be like your dog. Just be and feel the power that comes in through your breath. As you allow yourself to just be stood in your higher power in your higher level of consciousness. Release all of the sticky stuff, what's not in balance, all of the disorder. Leave it all alone. It's not what you came here for. And tune in and tap in to the peace when you go to sleep at night. Find that peaceful place before you go.
Jani Roberts:So that doesn't mean I'm laying in bed watching some crazy violent movie because that doesn't bother me. I don't absorb any of that. But there's all of this disorder and violence and then I just click Turn it off and lay down and go to sleep. It's important Understand the subconscious if you really want to grow spiritually, what are you feeding your mind, and I'm not saying you can't have mindless entertainment. I'm not the judge of that in any way, shape or form. But I'm talking about the work here. So if you want to see massive change in a short period of time, that five minute meditation of sitting outside and if it's freezing, sit by the window, breathe the fresh air, put a hoodie on, wrap up a blanket, feel it on your face. Turn it all off and listen. Listen, when the answers come, so if there's always disorder and mayhem, how are you supposed to hi supposed to connect? I suppose to find your answers. How are you supposed to live in your truth? Without your answers? Yeah, this is part of it. Right? doing that. Having a morning ritual having an evening ritual before you turn in, showing appreciation, love compassion. Acknowledging yourself for who you really are, who you really are, is who you're actually going to get to know through this work. Because right now, who you think you are, is probably and I am assuming here. So my bad if I'm off track. But I think I can safely assume for most of us that who we are has a lot to do with who we have been told we are. What's your name? That name is a name someone else gave you? What's your name? Does that name resonate with you? Do you have another name that you'd like to call yourself? You can change that, if you choose to. It's important to be aligned in alignment with that. You might say I'm a child of God, my name is love. If you think it's woowoo, think it's woowoo doesn't make any difference to me. It doesn't change my experience. But labels are important. They really are important. Then you're taught what to believe in school, and you're taught what to believe, as a human being, you're taught right from wrong, and it's someone else's idea of right and wrong. This is all work we have to do ourselves. So if we've been unable to forgive ourselves for the way we treated our kids or someone stepped back into the quietness into the peace, and listen. Your true self knows that you are of source and that you are a beautiful and good and well intended human being. If fear has flooded your experience, that your behavior is not going to reflect that. But you can retrain the mind, you can choose what beliefs are real for you. You don't have to inherit anyone's. That's an illusion. And a lot of people would like you to believe really buy into that illusion, you need to believe what I tell you. Because I'm right. And I know and this is history, and this is the truth, blah, blah, blah. That doesn't resonate for you. How you can get through the forgiveness work. Anybody who treats you like that? Cut them off. How's that make you feel? They they probably aren't suffering, but boy, are you suffering? Boy, am I suffering? Fear is powerful. We talked about this a lot. So when we get upset, and we start blaming, we don't like the way other people are behaving. We really need to take our focus off of the people that were holding, you know, responsible for how we're feeling and of giving all of our power away and shift our mind into a place of allowing ourselves to feel whatever it is we're feeling. Observe it, maybe journal a little bit about it. And release it. Otherwise we just keep blaming, we stay in anger, you stay in frustration. We don't forgive ourselves, for allowing others to accept our power. We don't forgive ourselves for giving all of our power away. Have you ever been in a you know, codependent relationship, for example. Boy,
Jani Roberts:there's a lot of forgiveness, self forgiveness work to do there, and forgiveness to the other person. But at the end of the day, we're allowing them to do that. Oh, that makes me even madder than it was when I blamed it all on them. Now I have to blame myself. I have to blame anybody. You're learning. You're growing. You're sifting you're sorting. It's okay. There's no one to blame. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. The bottom line is if you want to feel better, then you got to heal it. If it's important enough to you, what would your life look like without that in it? Oh my God, I feel so free. Oh my god, I could be like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Yeah, exactly. So we don't need to tell other people what to do. Do we really know what they should do? Maybe we should focus on us do our own work. Let go, you know, in our tai chi, and Chi Gong work, it's all about brisley, you know, be like the water be like Dragon flow. You want to swim downstream, and go with the energy. With that good chi is just want to hang on all that dirty chi. All that negative energy. So we say in this part of the world. This is really about taking responsibility, which is exciting. That means taking our power back for the role that we play. This will create an absolute avalanche of opportunity of all of the good feeling emotions and beautiful experiences that love can create to come into our lives. Because we no longer Hang on. They don't resent we release. We don't hate we forgive. Doesn't mean we can't create boundaries. We've talked about that in previous episodes. We don't need to hang on to that. You know, there's an old Chinese proverb that says if you're going to pursue revenge, you better dig two graves. Which, which is like saying, you know, your resentments will destroy you. We always suffer just as much as the other. And we can stop this, we can actually redirect our energy. It's time or yours. It's time to let that shit go. Time for a practice that is going to move you into your full potential. This is why you came here to discover your full potential. The time is now and it's on. We've got nothing but love for you here to lemon essentials. Reach out. Get on this journey with us and if not with us find that road that feels like the path for you. No more procrastination. No more blaming, no more suffering. It's time to forgive. Happy fall if you're in fall, and if not enjoy the season that you are in. Because again, your time is now until next time, peace and nothing but love Chow