April 28, 2022

Mastering The Art of Capacity – Eric Lofholm

Mastering The Art of Capacity – Eric Lofholm

Dive into the reality of a world-class leader and discover how implementing the concept of being radically changed the way he leads and creates results. In this episode, we explore what it looks like to lead from love, embody jaw-dropping levels of capacity, and how you can cultivate these abilities as well.

 

About the Guest:

Eric Lofholm has taught his proven sales systems to thousands of professionals around the world. He is President and CEO of Eric Lofholm International, Inc., an organization he founded to professionally train people on the art and science of selling.

From working with Tony Robbins to sharing the stage with a Who's Who of speakers at the Get Motivated Seminars, Eric has used his own successful sales background to develop programs to help anyone dramatically improve in all areas that contribute to increasing their income and their happiness.

Find Eric’s work here: www.ericlofholm.com

 

About the Host:

Ross Weitzer aka The Maverick is unlike anyone you’ll ever meet. He’s an unorthodox independent-minded being, living each moment with youthful enthusiasm, warrior courage, kingly counsel, quantum insight, and the wisdom of ages past. He IS disrupting global consciousness by guiding people back to the truth of who they really are. Welcome to the remembering.

To discover more about him check him out on instagram where he is spitting soul fire!: @rossweitzer 

The Ultimate Coach Resources

https://theultimatecoachbook.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theultimatecoach

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theultimatecoachbook

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14048056

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheUltimateCoachBook



 

Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Transcript
TUCP Intro/Outro:

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast, Conversations from Being inspired by the book, The Ultimate coach written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being. And your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit www.TheUltimateCoachBook.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from being.

Ross Weitzer:

All right, we are back with another episode of The Ultimate Coach Podcast. This is one of your hosts Ross Weitzer. And we are here with the amazing Eric Loftholm, the world's best sales trainer, and the father and the idea man behind the ultimate coach podcast. Eric, how are you?

Eric Lofholm:

Ross, I'm doing great. I'm excited to be with you. And with all of our listeners from all over the world today.

Ross Weitzer:

Eric, I think it's such a special opportunity to be with you here because so much of the foundation of the creations that people are experiencing within the ultimate coach world is as a result of the intention and effort that you have been putting in. So I just want to say thank you, I wouldn't be here without your effort. And how's it been going?

Eric Lofholm:

You know, it's been going fantastic. I I've been involved now with the project since early December. And the product includes our Facebook group, our course our podcast here, our YouTube channel, or Instagram, we have a LinkedIn group, we have a website, an email list. So it all started with the Facebook group. But now there's multiple different aspects of what we're doing. And I love that we have these different tools and platforms to connect with book enthusiast from all over the world.

Ross Weitzer:

Absolutely. Eric, the question I have. I'm super curious is, I have only gotten to know you briefly and see you on the other side of all of these efforts. Who are you now in regards to who were you before through everything that has been transpiring?

Eric Lofholm:

Well, there actually has been quite a few shifts in me in a short amount of time. So as of this recording, we're I don't know, four months into the project. And I've done a lot of personal development work before, as I'm sure a lot of our listeners, the people that are attracted to the ultimate coach book in this conversation are people that are a lot of are really interested in personal and professional development. So I started my personal development journey in 1988, with a book called, you can heal your life by Louise Hay. And that book just blew my mind. So since the late 1980s, I've been in a personal development conversation. I've never been in a being conversation. So that was never on my radar. I've never heard anybody else talk about it anywhere, like how Steve Hardison talks about it, or it's spoken about in the book. And so having four months of working with the concept of being and being involved in the Facebook group and thinking about, Well, who am I being I've never, that's never been a part of my thought process before. So that's been really powerful. It's shaping how I lead my company. It's shaping, how I interact with my wife, how I interact with my children. If I noticed myself going into a place of anger, and just check myself, you know, who am I being right now? And it's really made a profound difference in my life. And we're only you know, about four months in so far.

Ross Weitzer:

What is the concept of being mean to you?

Eric Lofholm:

To me, it's about observing my thoughts. It's noticing, you know, what is the state that I'm in, so I can look back on a conversation I can think of, I had a person working for my company, that I let go right before this project started. And I felt that they weren't the right fit for the company. I still feel they weren't the right fit for the company. But when I think back about how I communicated that final message to them, Hey, this isn't gonna work for us moving forward. And I observed my thoughts. Was I being loving in that moment? No. Was I coming from compassion? No, it was just kind of like this, this task. And if I could go back and do it over again, I would show up differently. And so I never looked at life in that way I'd never looked at, well, how did I show up? Or what could I have done differently? And I may have done it at some level, but not with the conscious focus, that I now have a being so it's, it's really, it's noticing how I showed up. And then it's also being intentional moving forward. You know, I'm, I'm always been optimistic, at least for several decades have been an optimistic person. I'm even more optimistic now. Because I'm more intentional. And I'm aware of how optimism creates my thoughts, which creates my reality. So it's deciding in advance how I'm going to show up and then looking back on situations and observing my being and in learning from that.

Ross Weitzer:

Yeah, I find it so interesting. It's something I still don't have the answer to? What is it about the book and the way being is conveyed? That leads to these significant internal shifts? Because it's not as if these are things we've heard, like we haven't heard before, right? I've read books on awareness. I've read books on presence. What was it that led to, but I'm actually shifting. And I think one thing that you spoke to that I resonate with is the first sentence you said, as I'm now observing my thoughts in a different way. And I'm like, yes, it's awareness. With a very specific added piece of intentionally choosing the next moment. I have the awareness of where I am right now. And instead of just that being in enough, it's and now I get to be intentional about tensional. About how I want to show up next.

Eric Lofholm:

Yeah, I think that there's a concept of personal development. You might have heard of this before, I'm sure a lot of our listeners have as well. There's the things that you know, that you know, and there's the things that you know, you don't know, and then there's the things that you don't know, you don't know. And so if we don't know that we don't know something, it's not, we don't have any access to it, because it's not in the known realm. So prior to diving into the book, and really doing my best to understand what Steve's teaching, I didn't know that I didn't know, to observe my thoughts around being. So when I think about this staff member who I let go, and I, I never would have gone back and taken a look at who was I being in that moment, you'd never even would have occurred to me, I would just would have said, look, it didn't work out for this person. They needed to go I clearly communicated it, I wasn't a jerk about it or anything. But could I have come from a more loving space? And it's like, well, yeah, I absolutely could have. And so it's it's a very powerful thing, when we become consciously aware of something another huge nugget for me, that Steve teaches is around seeing the golden others. And so if I look for the golden somebody, I'm gonna find it if I look for what's wrong, or where they're falling short, or where they're not being their word that I'm gonna see that too. And it's the same human being. And my experience of them is going to be totally different based on what I've seen, and I've never consciously looked for the golden others as a way of being. I mean, certainly there's times when I've just unconsciously seen that, but I now it's like, look for the golden others. And it also allows me to have more grace, when they're falling short. I had an experience with a family member recently. And they got upset. And they said some things to me that were not very nice. And when the conversation was done a younger version of me, Ross, I would have gotten really upset and I would have gotten stuck in in a story. And the story would have been so and so this person said these things about me I can't believe in if I told you what they said you like, oh my gosh, like, I can't believe they said that to you. But when it was done, I wasn't upset at all. I was just like, You know what, let me give them some grace. They got upset. And they said some things that they I'm sure they didn't mean and whether they did or didn't. This is an extraordinary human being. So I choose to see what an extraordinary human being they are. And not for this moment where they were not at their best. And that that's a huge breakthrough for me, to be able to allow people to not have to be at their best in my experience of them, you know, or seeing them in a positive way. And that's, I've never looked at life like that. It has opened up some really powerful things for me and it's helped my relationships really just come from grace. And that's, that's a powerful way of being with other people.

Ross Weitzer:

Just pulling back and, and releasing so much of this pressure that gets added on top of pressure that's already there. Yeah, like, I

Eric Lofholm:

don't have to take on them. They were calling me some names, I don't have to take on. I don't, that's not who I am. I know who I am. I'm confident within myself. They don't have to give me acknowledgement for me to know who I am. And if they criticize me, it doesn't take me away from it. Like some people, they get criticize. They start questioning themselves, because they don't have the confidence when within themselves, I have the confidence within myself. So something else I've learned from Steve is that he he doesn't allow like him to be said how someone else is being with him. And one of the things I've observed because I've gotten a chance being involved in this project, I do get some one on one time with Steve occasionally just talking about the Facebook group or updating him on the YouTube channel or whatnot, we get to talking and sometimes they'll tell me how other people are being with him. And I was thinking to myself, it's mind blowing. To me, it's like this is Steve Hardison who I have the highest respect for of a human being on the planet. And there are other people that don't see him as that. And it doesn't take him off center. It doesn't even faze him, he can just see them for where they're at. And that's their perspective. And he's okay with that. So, I've learned a lot about other people like not having to agree with me. And they can have their own perspective, that's completely fine. And I can honor their perspective and still know who I am and stay on my course.

Ross Weitzer:

The significant piece of this is the knowing who you are. I'm curious if I'm a listener, and I'm new to this whole being. And I don't relate as well as you to feeling this groundedness. And this centeredness with, this is who I am and this confidence in this conviction. How would you guide somebody along the path of being it's like, well, how is being going to help? I don't know who I am yet.

Eric Lofholm:

It's a really insightful question. Because what people listening to this are not going to know about, you know, I'll share it now. I used to view myself as average and ordinary. I'm an extraordinary human being. But I didn't see myself as that before. So I would show up as average and ordinary. I, my my parents both went to a good four year college, I didn't get into one of those colleges. So I ended up in community college, which year you go for two years, then you get your AAA degree, or you'd go on to get a four year degree. I went for five years, Ross, I never got the two year a degree, okay. I'm a former crooked McDonald's college dropout, bottom producing salesperson, my first job for an entire year. So in my early 20s, I got nothing going. Okay. And my confidence reflects it. So I'm fearful. I'm not confident, there's nothing about me that I think is special or unique. And I always say what happened for me, I can't speak for anybody else. But what happened for me is that, at that point in my life, no one had ever told me that I was extraordinary. Or if they had, I didn't hear it. And so as we start the personal development journey, I like the metaphor of bits in this common metaphor, peeling back layers of the onion. So you read a book, Louise Hay, you can heal your life, thoughts are things and things can be changed. That's her quote, thoughts are things and things can be change. That was mind blowing to me. So that's appealing a little bit of the onion, right? And then I did the Tony Robbins thing actually worked for Tony for three years, peeling some more of the onion and I had become friends with the great motivational speaker, Les Brown, peeled a little bit more of the onion, and then you know, doing the seminar and doing this and reading the book, and we keep peeling layers of the onion. And here's what I have found. Me as a coach, I've done over 7001 on one coaching calls, and out of doing all those coaching calls, here's one of the conclusions I came to. I'm okay. And that was a breakthrough for me, because I used to think there was something wrong with me. And as I was getting on these calls with these people, and some of them aren't so successful, and some are super successful. And I found out that we're all fighting the same fight. We're all dealing with the same stuff. And in general, my experience of human being and I've been doing this work now for over 20 years, when people look in the mirror, they do not see how extraordinary they are. So people show up in the world based on their experience of themselves. So if they think they're an average wife or husband, if they think that they don't view themselves as being physically fit, if they don't view themselves as, as a building network, if they don't feel themselves being successful in their job, then they kind of like, guide their life into how they, their experience of life, how they view themselves. And so one of the things that is talked about in the book is creating your document. And so I've created my document, it's part of my morning routine. And so I, I work on being to start off my day. And just about every day, I take a little bit of time out and I'm, I'm working on my being and I'm seeing myself as like one of my declarations is I'm a leader of leaders. If I view myself as a leader of leaders, and the difference is, it's not an affirmation. To me an affirmation is just words, a declaration is being those words. So I declared at 28, I'm 51. Now at 28 Ross, and I didn't know what I was really doing consciously. But I declared, I'm the Zig Ziglar of my generation, Zig Ziglar. If you're listening, you don't know who he is. He's the top sales trainer in the history of the world. He's no longer alive. But he's like the Michael Jordan of sales training. So at 28. I said, I am Zig Ziglar. My generation I am the world's greatest sales trainer. And so what what shifted Ross was, it wasn't just words, I started being that. So yesterday, just yesterday, I gave five motivational sales trainings in one day, I had a couple coaching calls. So my actions say I'm being the world's greatest sales trainer. Anybody can say it. But I'm being that, okay, you're being something extremely powerful. Right now, by doing this interview, you're showing up as whatever you're up to, right. And by me delivering the interview, I was showing up with what I'm up to. So if if people can get connected to the fact that they are extraordinary, that they do have a purpose in life, to be able to look in the mirror and go, I'm extraordinary. and own it not from an ego standpoint. But from the truth. That's the truth of who I am. That's what gave me the confidence to go to Steve Hardison and say, I want to lead your Facebook group. And then he said, Well, can you do it on Instagram? And I kept saying, yes. And so now I'm running. I'm running the entire social media for the ultimate coach project. And I committed to doing this for Steve for the next 20 years, to make that kind of commitment to somebody like Steve, I have to look in the mirror and go, I'm extraordinary. But this isn't exclusive to me, every one of you listen right now is extraordinary. You may not be present to that fact. But that is who you are. And that's part of the being conversation is getting you connected to who you are.

Ross Weitzer:

Becoming the state is what is the message that I'm receiving from you is extraordinary is unique. And I believe we all are tapped into our power when we recognize our uniqueness. And I think the hurdle or a hurdle is that usually people speaking the message of extraordinary and unique are already people who are identifying and expressing and living as that state. And if somebody isn't experiencing themselves as unique and extraordinary, it's developed. It starts with seeing trusting, having faith and then putting in the action daily. And then all of a sudden, the mirror is gonna start to reflect back something completely new.

Eric Lofholm:

Well, to that point, I'm big on repetition. And I'm one of the biggest speakers of repetition on the planet. As far as that being a message like Steve talks about being one of the things I talked about is repetition. So here's what I figured out. If I was going to be the world's greatest sales trainer, then what would that look like? Well, I would do more coaching sessions than anybody in my age group for sales training, and I would be more speeches. So what I did Ross is pretty simple. I out wrapped everybody. I did more coaching sessions, and more speaking engagements than anyone else to become this who I now view myself as well anybody could do that. Anybody could do that. Let's say they're not physically fit right now. And they wanted to step into being physically fit. All they'd have to do is show up and be physically fit, do the activity and physically fit every single day for, you know, a year or two or three and they'd get it very physically fit. And they just put the reps in. You can do this as, like with my wife, how do I show up as an extraordinary husband? Well, I go to Starbucks when she's asleep each morning, pretty much every day, and I get her favorite Starbucks and put it right by her toothbrush. So when she wakes up in the morning, first thing, when she goes in and gets ready in the morning, there's her coffee sitting there. So I'm showing up as an extraordinary husband. And I did that this morning. So I'm not just talking about it, I'm being an extraordinary husband, if you looked at our text thread, you would go wow, the way Eric communicates with his wife, he's being an extraordinary husband. Well, so people that are watching this right now, if your husband and I looked at your text thread, and I look at how you talk to your wife over text, you're not being an extraordinary husband. So be that be a great parent be whatever you do for work, be great at that. And that's, that's a present moment choice. And it's a choice that we make every day. It's not something where I'm an extraordinary husband, now I don't have to go get the coffee anymore, Senator, a nice text. Right? It's like fitness, if you start going to the gym, you're gonna get out of shape. So part of it is being is a present moment. It's a choice I make every single day. And that's where my morning routine comes in, you know, see would talk about through the through the document, or however he does it, right. And I have the way that I do it. Everyone has the way that they do it. And we we get into how we're going to operate our day. And what what's the input? What am I putting into my mind, right? That's the power of the document and repeating it becoming the document, which is one of the key things that's covered in the book, for those of you that are book enthusiast.

Ross Weitzer:

I have a feeling repetition is going to be a part of this answer. I'm sitting, I'm sitting over and I'm like, the word that keeps coming to me is capacity. Eric's capacity is beyond. And I'm curious if you can share with us what your journey to the capacity you have right now looks like because I think that is so tied into the being that you're creating. It's like, wow, what the hell does this make it all this capacity?

Eric Lofholm:

That's it's a great observation. And if you look at the Facebook group, right, currently, we have 5500 or so members. And for anybody that goes into the Facebook group, you'll see a very healthy, active Facebook group where real value is being created, which is pretty rare amongst Facebook groups, so we have something that's really special. So to the point of capacity, how did that happen? Well, I probably run 15 Facebook groups over the last 10 years, the largest Facebook group I ever ran was 34,000 people. And that was helping a fire that happened in the town of paradise called the campfire. And my wife and I started this Facebook group and the group went viral, we never plan on it going viral it grew to 34,000 people became the largest Facebook group in the region, to help people out that lost their home the campfire? Well, without going into all the details, there was a lot of learning that took place in that group, a lot, a lot of learning. So all these Facebook groups that run then there's 34,001. And then this option comes to run Steve's Facebook group. Well, Steve, and I never had a conversation about all the Facebook groups I ran, he just trusted his intuition, said, Eric, you know, go ahead and do it. Well, the moves I was making inside of the group and how I was interacting with people wasn't random. It was a muscle that I developed through repetition. So to your point about capacity, John Maxwell calls it law of the lid. He's one of the great leadership trainers. And he basically says that your capacity is to the lid on like a pan, right? Well, if you raise the lid, you raise your leadership capacity. So I've been working on my skills since 1988. Starting with Louise Hays book, you can heal your life. And my core message in my sales training company is continuous sales improvement. And that says, the path of mastery This is a common concept is you're always a student. So I work on my skills every single day. And I've been doing it for decades, understanding that if I did that, I would be raising my capacity. Not like it might work, not like the capacity might go up. Know this is predictable. If I work on these skills, my capacity will go up now Ross, what's interesting, I based on my estimates, I mean you hit the midway point in my career. So I'm 23 years into this as a sales trainer and I got 24 years to go. So my capacity as it is, you know, I acknowledge I got a phenomenal capacity, and I'm just getting started. And I'm just gonna keep working on my skills and this is what I teach other people to do. I say Hey, be like me in the sense of have to figure out what are you trying to what are you up to in your world, whether it's improved net worth a fitness career, as a sales trainer, somebody wants to make more sales, build a company, and then figure out how do you intentionally raise the capacity. And this is what I love that Facebook group, because for us what I get to do leading that group, I post in there every day. So I'm consistent, but by me posting, I'm increasing my capacity. Because I'm in the conversation. I'm observing the conversation, I'm listening to the Facebook Lives, not everyone, but some of them. I'm watching the post I'm contributing, so I'm in it. So being in the beam conversation for four months, Ross, give me a year, after being in this conversation every day for a year, give me look two years from now, five years from now, you know, next to Steve, I'll probably be the top Bing guy in the planet. And it's not about competing, right? It doesn't matter if I'm number one, or two or three after Steve, it's not even about that it's about I can choose to master Bing. And anybody can choose it, especially with all the resources we have with the YouTube channel. And now we're on Audible and, and the podcasts and there's all these tools, and then we can practice it in real time inside of the Facebook group. So that's an interesting thing for anybody listening to consider, what would it look like? If I worked on my Bing for the next five years, and I became one of the best on the planet at being anybody listening right now Ross could choose to become the best on the planet, and being and that will, it'll take your life to beyond your imagination. It'll make your life beyond what you can even imagine. Right now, if you any of you follow through on what I just said.

Ross Weitzer:

This is such a powerful reflection for myself. I'm observing this I'm like, Yeah, I could be more intentional there. But I really want to develop in that area. And here, I'm realizing is a trap. Oh, I am developing in that area. Oh, I am growing in that skill set. And where am I not being intentional? Where Am I growing? And where am I not being intentional on the potential that that growth actually could be, could become if it wasn't something that was just on autopilot. See, that's what I observe in you is there is no autopilot to the areas of life that you want to be great at. And I see you as like an opera, like an opportunity, man, you discover the opportunity. And when you discover it, you then become intentional. And there is no autopilot.

Eric Lofholm:

Like for you, Ross as you're doing this interview, right. So you're doing the interview in this moment, right now, you're getting a little bit better. It's a micro improvement. It's so small, you can't see it. Or maybe it's significant enough where you can see it. And whether you can or can't ideas build on themselves, and ideas compound. So if you're like, Alright, I'm going to do these interviews, and I'm going to do at least 100 interviews. So you can predict what those 100 interviews and that improvement is going to be in you. And then the only thing I would tell you is I would advise you to post in the Facebook group once a day. If every day you go in there post at least once a day that it puts it puts the being conversation like it's on your radar, obviously, but it takes it to a whole nother level of if you had that level of commitment, I haven't seen your posting pattern or know if you if you're posting it that that consistency or not. But if you post it every day, and then you did 100 or more interviews, it'll blow your mind where your skill set will get to because there's so much learning just out of the out of the experience. Like right now my me as the guest on the show, I'm getting a little bit better. Every time I'm a guest, I'm a little bit better. I host my own podcast when I hosted, I get a little bit better. And so all of a sudden, my belief in myself is like, wow, I can get better in anything that's a skill set. I can improve it if I choose to. I play chess for fun. If I wanted to get phenomenal at chess, I could choose to do that. I just play it for fun. But if I ever decide I want to get phenomenal. I've never played a musical instrument. If I ever want to get phenomenal playing musical instrument, I can just choose it. Right? And so it's a really, it's a powerful place of optimism to realize that it's not I love the word become. It's not about where I am now. It's what can I become in the future. And what we can become in the future is something that's extraordinary.

Ross Weitzer:

I'm seeing how, how simplified all of this can be to an extent of how aligned are my actions as to who I want to be. And I see you as a man where your actions are extraordinarily aligned to who you want to be, and the skill sets that you want to craft. One of those being capacity.

Eric Lofholm:

I did this Ross in my marriage. So I've been married twice. My first marriage, I never, I never envisioned, we weren't going to be married forever. We were married for over 20 years, it just didn't work out. So now I'm a single dad, I got two kids, I'm in my 40s. I'm living I went from a six bedroom house being married for over 20 years into a two bedroom apartment. So long story short, my daughter's in one room, my son's in the other room. I'm like, 43 years old. I'm sleeping on the couch. Because I didn't want my I didn't have a boy and a girl. I didn't want them sleeping in the same room. Because it's like, you know, I created this scenario. So I sucked it up. I slept on sofa. And looking at my life Ross, as the owner of my company. I'm training people all over the world. And this is my current reality at that moment. And I'm like, this is not the life that I want. So I thought about what do I want to create? I said, Well, I want to recreate my family. So what does that look like? Well, I want to get remarried to a woman about my age, who will wants to live in the same area I'm in because I didn't want to move my kids out of the school district. I want her to be evolved. So I wrote that word down. And I want her to have children because I want I want us to have a shared experience. So then she's likely going to be divorced. So I brought all this stuff down. And then I thought, Okay, what does that look like to create that? Like, if I was going to have that woman show up in my life? What would that look like? And I thought, Okay, well, if I was gonna get married, if I reverse engineer the step before marriages, we would get engaged, instead of for that, as we'd be in a committed relationship step before that, as we'd be dating, and a step before that it all came back to drinks or coffee, taking a woman to drinks or coffee. So it was totally logical to me Ross, is all I have to do is date somebody. And then if they're not the one, they don't think I'm the one or I don't think they're the one, then that would end I would just date somebody else drinks or coffee. And that starts his path. And if it didn't work, I just start right back over again. It didn't work a bunch of times, and I didn't get discouraged. I was just like, Okay, well, she wasn't the right one. And then I met my wife, Heather, who's in the group, if any of you are in the group, you'll, you'll see my wife, Heather. And I have of the 3 billion women on the planet. This is the perfect woman from Eros. And, but I created her before I met her. So I knew what to see. But it wasn't just law of attraction, okay, I wrote all the stuff down. Now she's going to show up, I did the action behind it. And I had an optimistic view. And when when these relationships that I was in, didn't work out, I wasn't discouraged. And I have the most extraordinary relationship. It's far beyond Ross, what I can even imagine, like, I wouldn't even dare to imagine what I have. Now, it'd be like, that doesn't even exist. There's not a woman on the planet, where that exists. And my anyway, I manifested this. And so we have this incredible, incredible relationship. And it really has to do with this conversation that we're talking about and how I view the world. Because a lot of people would live in a story, well, my relationship didn't work, my marriage didn't work. Therefore, I guess I'm not supposed to be married. I'm not supposed to have my happily ever after, it's not meant to be for me. You know, a lot of people have, they might have a view like that. And I'm really, I aligned with the concept of creating what I want to create, and then what needs to happen. And I'm, in addition to the being conversation, I'm also really in the doing. So I will like the doing of you know, going out on these dates to find the right one. I didn't look at it. This is just my own worldview. I didn't look at it as just being that was absolutely huge piece of it. But I also looked at like the idea of the repetition, like I'm still gonna have to go out and do certain number of dates in order to find the you know, the woman for me and so it's kind of like a combination, optimistic thinking, creating your future being which is a new idea to me. And then then the doing and putting the reps in to create the results that I want.

Ross Weitzer:

My own experience deeply resonates with that. So throughout my 20s I wanted deep and meaningful friendships outside of a love relationship, where I was around people that I found to be inspiring that were impactful human and they just were not showing up on my doorstep. And I internalized that as what's wrong with me? Where have I not expanded in my own journey of being. And the realization was the being wasn't the problem that was the doing. I was waiting for the result, I wanted to show up on my doorstep. And getting into the Stephens sphere. The ultimate coach. Metaverse, it was very synchronistic timing, because I was like, oh, I need to create these relationships, which actually led me into the Facebook group, because it is just an incredible place of like minded people. And that led to me creating the relationships that I'm now experiencing, which it's it was it's like it was that simple. I was waiting, internalizing What is wrong with me. And it was as simple as doing and creating an acting.

Eric Lofholm:

When you look at our interview right now, you created this interview, I didn't reach out to Hey, Ross, I really want to be on the show, would you interview me. And there's, that's cool when that happens. But in my experience of life, people aren't usually knocking on my door going, Hey, Eric, we heard about all this great sales training you're doing, we want to hire you to train our team, then usually work like that. It sometimes it does, and I love it when stuff falls into my lap. But the stuff that falls into my lap, it pales in comparison to the results I've produced by going out and getting it. My dream wife didn't fall into my lap. Right? I had to go create that through my actions. And so I think that a lot of people to your point, they're just like, they're not proactively going out. If somebody wants more friends, then reach out to more people have more conversations, hey, do you want to go out for lunch? Hey, I'm going to movie Hey, do you want to, you know, have a Zoom meeting, right? And if people really got connected to the fact of wow, what can I create? I have a client right now he's in a constant complaint about his job. And we get on these coaching calls, and I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job. And I'm like, Okay, well, that's fine. And why don't you in between our coaching sessions, go out on some interviews? Even if you don't want to work there, just have the experience of the interviews, start reaching out to some business owners and seeing, can I create a job even if it doesn't exist? Like they're not, it's another job board, but you could go to them and say, Hey, this is a skill set. This is what I can do for you. Are you interested? And so, so far, the conversation has been, I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job. It's like, I got that. So do you want to live the rest of your life hating your job? Or do you want to go out and create something that you're excited about going to on a daily basis, and he can literally live the rest of his life stuck in his job, or he can go and create something that's extraordinary. And either way he's right. And if he if he doesn't create the job, he can live his life. Yep, it wasn't meant to be. Or he could go create the awesome job and go, it was meant to be it is his choice. It's like you want door number one, door number two, you want a crappy future, you want an amazing future. And we get to decide. And that's my experience of life is that I have gone out and created building a global sales training organization, it didn't fall into my lap, I had to go out, and I had to create that. And I did that. So I'm like the ultimate optimist around what human beings can create. If they really, there's a saying clearly defining what you want as a skill set. clearly defining what you want is a skill set from that clarity, who do you have to be in order to create that, and then show up as that watch what happens?

Ross Weitzer:

And it truly is that simple.

Eric Lofholm:

That's been my experience. Now along the way, there's been a lot of lessons and there's been some pain and the struggle and you know, but that's just peeling back the onion, right. And as I go for life, sometimes it is very painful. Because when you really put yourself out there, you know, you have the chance of of failing, right, and so falling short, or whatever you want to call it. So I've had my fair share of that. But as far as creating results, it is a pretty simple, pretty simple thing in my experience.

Ross Weitzer:

Absolutely. So before we go be our extraordinary selves in real life. The last question I have for you is what's the next stage of being Eric?

Eric Lofholm:

You know, it is it's me better understanding who I am. And I understand who I am to a point. But I think there's definitely more. There's more there for me to really, really get. You know who I really am. And so it's it's just continuing to peel the onion. I do have it up on my board. I do want to go do some work personally with Steve I work with Steve in, in the project, but we don't have a coaching relationship, we have a project relationship, which is great. So we do the product together, because that's our agreement. But we have had some conversations about me becoming a client, which many of you are listening, you know that that's a significant commitment of time and financial resources. And I do believe Steve can help me unlock who I am. But it's, it's just continuing. It's just continuing this journey. You know, I think that, you know, I'm already impacted on a global level, I see that happening on a larger scale, impacting more companies bringing my talents in organizations, very similar to what I'm doing for Steve, you know, running all the social media, you know, helping individuals and companies with that kind of an energy to help them with what they're up to. And I do want to say a couple of things about all the social media for any of you listening to this, or theultimatecoachbook.com is the hub webpage. So when you go to that page, you can find the LinkedIn group, the Facebook group, the YouTube channel, the this, that all the resources are there. And what I would encourage all of you to do two things, whenever I'm doing a podcast, if you resonate with the podcast, listen to it seven times. And the reason I want you to listen to it seven times is it'll put these ideas in your subconscious mind. There was some things I said today, and things that Ross commented on, that you got, you got it. The first listen through, got as good as you can get it. Listen, if you listen to it a second time, there's things I said that you'll hear different. If you listen to it seven times, you're gonna put these thoughts into the subconscious mind. So I'd encourage you to do that. And I would encourage you, like I gave the issue to challenge the Ross, a posting in the group once a day, I would say that to anybody, if you want to really dive into this conversation, get into the Facebook group, The Ultimate Coach Facebook group, posted there once a day, there's something really powerful to get here, from this conversation about being and all the tools that Steve and the team have created. So those are a couple of final thoughts for all of you,

Ross Weitzer:

Eric, thank you so much. I want to end on one note, just as a testament to who you are, because I don't want listeners to miss this subtle message. At the beginning of our conversation. Here was a man that was deep in the conviction and knowing of who he was. And that was the reason that he was explaining, I am able to hold the space of other people's presence when they are not being their best selves when they're having tension when they're having explosiveness. And he was saying it's not being received as hurt because he knows who he is. And notice how even with that this conversation finishes with him saying, my next level is discovering more of who I am. And for me the message is there is no journey. There's just a destination. How committed are you to you?

Eric Lofholm:

Awesome, Ross. Well said.

Ross Weitzer:

Thank you so much, Eric.

Eric Lofholm:

You're welcome.