Use the ABC’s of Automaticity to Manage Fear and Create New Habits- Ep: 081

Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host,

Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,

confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to

be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a

life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to

talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because

step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and

confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hello, there, and

welcome to this episode. I'm so glad you're here. What's going

on in your world these days? How are you doing with those new

year goals? Now listen, I know it was a while ago that you set

those goals? If you did it right at the start of the year? Are

you still making progress? Or have they fallen by the wayside?

If you have forgotten your goal for the year, it might have been

a month ago, six months ago, six weeks ago that you said it, you

might have forgotten. And you might have just run into some

hurdles, and you kind of got stuck. But don't worry, you can

pick it up again, you can choose to start again exactly where you

are right now. It doesn't matter what happened. It doesn't matter

why you let it go. All of that is in the past, what really

matters is what you do. Now. If you're hearing my voice, use

this as a reminder, to go back and look at the goal you set for

this year. And start again, you may have just needed a little

extra piece of encouragement. And I really want that to be for

you. So this is part of the journey. Let me encourage you, I

know you've got this keep going. So today I want to share with

you something I learned in a mastermind that I'm part of one

of my coaches taught this, and I'd like to share it with you

too, because I found it really helpful. Yes, I'm a coach. And I

always have my own coaches too, for a variety of reasons really.

They helped me. They support me. They helped me grow. They helped

me reach my goals, they encouraged me. And they helped

me to get a new perspective and just not give up on myself. One

of the things that I talked about in episode 46 was called

the motivational triad. And it's that our brains love to conserve

energy.

And this relates to something called automaticity. So that's

Otto multicity. And I found this explanation in a Harvard

University study on the same talk. But here's what it is.

It's automatic thoughts and behaviors are ones that occur

efficiently without the need for conscious guidance or

monitoring. Most of our thoughts and most of our behaviors tend

to be automatic, or at least there's components of it for

automatic right, or for a good reason. These processes are

fast, they allow us to do things like drive to work without even

having to think about all the details. There are two main

categories of automaticity. And they are defined by how the

thought or the behavior is initiated. Some automatic

processes are triggered quite unconsciously, often spy the

stimuli in the environment, whereas others require a

conscious act of will to get started. All right. So why am I

talking about this? Well, here's why. Anytime you want to create

a new habit, a new practice, even if you leverage what is

known about automaticity, you're going to have an easier time.

Take for example, if you decide that you want to build the

ongoing habit of doing an IG live to build your coaching

business. Does this sound like a theme? Last episode, we spoke

about fear busting this way? was one place. I'm going to assume

we're taking that same example forward into this episode, I'm

going to assume that you decided yeah, you want to show up live

on video. So this is a tool that you can use to make it easier.

And we do this by applying the ABCs of automaticity. We know

our brain wants to be efficient. It wants to wherever possible,

create a habit, and that's what the ABCs support. A stands for

anchor. B is behavior, and C is celebrate. So we're going to

talk about each of these in turn. Using the example of

integrating a new habit of going live on IG to attract paying

clients, the first thing we notice is that you want to make

the action itself so small and easy. That way, you reduce the

complexity. And with that reduce your resistance to doing it.

Remember from a few episodes where I spoke about four

different aspects of fear, I think it was episode 78. I

talked about one of the ways of minimizing your resistance to

doing something uncomfortable is to take small steps, even break

your actions into micro steps. These are the things that you

can do quickly and easily. It helps you to build your

confidence because you're actually making tangible

progress. So let's talk about the specifics of the ABCs. Now,

the first thing is a is for anchor, and an anchor is a

prompt, it's a prompt for the new action. So find something

you do on a regular daily basis. For example, maybe you drive

your kids to school, or maybe you make dinner or you take your

morning walk, use an activity that's part of your everyday

life, something that is so automatic, you would never

question it, and then tie the new behavior to the anchor. So

if you choose the anchor of your morning walk, decide that you

will do your IG live at the start or during your walk. When

you link the two behaviors, the new behavior with the anchor

behavior,

it is so much easier to create a new automatic daily habit. B

stands for behavior. So here's where that microstep really

comes in handy. Don't start with the expectation that you're

going to easily chit chat on live video for half an hour,

make it easy for yourself, reduce your stress and

nervousness, decide on a maximum of five minutes, you could even

go live for two minutes, that is just fine. In two minutes,

you've got a lot of time to go live, introduce yourself, share

about a topic or teach something specific and then invite them to

reach out to you. There is no possibility that you could say I

don't have the time. For a two minute video. You've got two

minutes, right. And that might be all you need to change

somebody's staying to help your prospective client with one new

thought, one small shift in perspective. And they'll sit up

and take notice. And finally see see for celebrate, you did it,

you took action. I know it takes courage to start something new

and I am proud of you. I hope you're proud of yourself to the

rush you get when you leave your comfort zone is going to give

you a dopamine hit. Dopamine is one of those hormones associated

with reward and motivation. It feels good. Adding celebration

will increase how good you feel. It's okay to give yourself a pat

on the back and say good job. So you will feel good because you

did it. And then you'll feel even better because you

congratulated yourself. Intentionally cultivating the

feelings of accomplishment. Empowerment and pride are going

to help you keep going. So the ABCs is a simple and useful

approach you can begin using today to create a new habit that

will help you on your way to becoming a fully booked thriving

and successful coach. If you've always been curious about what

it takes to become a successful coach, I've got a gift for you.

It's called The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a professional

coach. I've put a link in the Episode Notes. And I encourage

you to go and download it. And if you want even more help,

maybe you've just had enough of trying to figure all of this out

on your own. Then we should talk we should talk about how we

could work together. Click the link in the Episode Notes to

find out how to apply to work with me. I'm looking forward to

hearing from you. And I'll be back to speaking with you again

next week. Thanks again for listening today. Please hop on

over to Apple podcasts and leave a review. Also I would love to

hear from you did something that I say resonate? What else would

you like to learn about click the link in the player and leave

a comment on the post. This is going to give me great ideas for

future episodes so I can help you best. Join me again next

week for more coaching, support and teaching to help you become

the confident coach. You are meant to be