Jan. 12, 2022

Breaking Through the Prison of Dysfunctional Stories

Breaking Through the Prison of Dysfunctional Stories

In today’s episode,  I’m excited to introduce you to Winston Yeung. Winston is the founder of VoiceStory, a non-profit organization that is creating social connections, facilitating personal healing, and promoting community building. You can learn more about Winston, his organization, and how to connect with him below. 

When I first heard Winston’s personal story that led him to start his non-profit, I recognized he was someone who had something of great value to offer the world and I wanted him for our show. He has broken through the prison of dysfunctional stories by learning to listen to his inner wisdom, and by embracing the darkness so he can move into the light. 

Winston’s raw and real stories are relatable and leave us feeling that we too can get past the prison guard we created of our own self-imposed cell. 

Here are some highlights from this episode:

  • Suppressing our emotions
  • The power of stories created from past trauma
  • Formulating negative stories about who you are and what that triggers
  • The importance of embracing the dark as well as the light
  • Compassion vs love - coming from a place of striving to understand
  • Being seen by others AND yourself
  • The impact of wearing a persona that is not true to who you are 
  • Questions to ask yourself: “WHAT do I want and WHY do I want it so bad.” 
  • Understanding a true want and where it comes from. 
  • Fighting and undoing the conditioning
  • Learning to “follow the nudges” that guide you to your best day, your best life
  • Understand all of us are the same

 

About our Guest: Winston Yeung

Hi Joyful Journeyers,

I’m a guide.

I guide people, like yourself, through love, life & work.

In my past, I chased after fame, money, and status believing that these things would make me “somebody” in this world. I reached for the stars, sat among them, and eventually fell from grace.

I was a prisoner to the dysfunctional stories I created, lost in the land of the illusion of my own design. It took many years but I eventually walked out of my prison and am now living a life with purpose aligned with spirit, body, and mind. The lessons and tests I experienced along my journey are where my insight, empathy, compassion, and understanding are forged from. I see past the stories that people naturally share and guide them to where the real story is, that part of themselves they want to reveal but are not sure of the way.

I founded the VoiceStory Foundation, a non-profit organization that is creating social connections, facilitating personal healing, and promoting community building. This is done through the speaking platform – VoiceStory Live, educational workshops, mastermind, mentorship, and coaching to develop an individual’s ability to embrace and share their unique stories.

Regards,

Winston Yeung

Story Architect

How to connect with Winston Yeung:

email: winston@voicestory.ca 

website: www.voicestory.ca

book a call to connect: https://calendly.com/winstonyeung/15

See video recordings of the past speakers at VoiceStory, visit and Subscribe to https://www.youtube.com/voicestory

Join the VoiceStory community and be part of the conversation at https://www.facebook.com/groups/voicestory

About Me:

I’m your host, Anita Adams, an award-winning leader and the founder and CEO of Joyful Inspired Living, an organization dedicated to teaching people how to tap into their joy by finding clarity about who they are, what they want, and why it matters. I also host the Joyful Journey Retreat - which you can participate live in Bowen Island, BC, or online.

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/anitaadams604/?hl=en

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/joyfulinspiredLiving

Website - https://joyfulinspiredliving.com/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/anitaadamsyvr/

Email - anita@joyfulinspiredliving.com


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Transcript
Anita Adams:

Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If

Anita Adams:

you're uncertain about what you really want or unsure how to be

Anita Adams:

a force for good, you know this world craves, then this is the

Anita Adams:

show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding

Anita Adams:

clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner

Anita Adams:

wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we raise our

Anita Adams:

vibration, we heighten the collective consciousness and

Anita Adams:

that, my friends, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in.

Anita Adams:

Hey, joyful journey errs, Anita Adams here, your host, and I'm

Anita Adams:

so excited to bring an interview with my friend Winston Young.

Anita Adams:

Hey, Winston, how's it going?

Unknown:

Doing great, Anita, thanks for having me.

Anita Adams:

Well, thanks again for being a part of this. So

Anita Adams:

joyful journey. Here's let me tell you a little bit more about

Anita Adams:

Winston. Winston is the founder of a really cool organization

Anita Adams:

called Voice story, an initiative that was designed to

Anita Adams:

tackle the issue of so social isolation that is prevalent in

Anita Adams:

today's society, which is caused by things like working remotely,

Anita Adams:

our addiction to mobile devices, and all the time we're spending

Anita Adams:

on social media. And that lack of spaces which promotes deeper

Anita Adams:

connection, and conversations. And of course, COVID-19 has not

Anita Adams:

helped any it's in fact intensified that sense of social

Anita Adams:

isolation. When I learned Winston's personal story that

Anita Adams:

led him to start voice story. I was intrigued and understood

Anita Adams:

that Winston was someone who needed to be on the joyful

Anita Adams:

journey podcast, he is someone who has learned how to tap into

Anita Adams:

his own inner wisdom and listen to it, which guided him out of

Anita Adams:

the dark and into the light. And now he's helping so many other

Anita Adams:

people do the same. And I believe his story is going to

Anita Adams:

resonate with many of you today. So I'm grateful for you to be

Anita Adams:

here with us, Winston, thank you again for making time for this.

Anita Adams:

And let's dive in. So when I, I was doing a little bit more

Anita Adams:

research on you. And I found something you wrote was on

Anita Adams:

LinkedIn. And I just want to, I want to start there, because I

Anita Adams:

thought this was it really captured my interest. You said,

Anita Adams:

I was a prisoner to the dysfunctional stories I created

Anita Adams:

last in the Land of Illusion of my own design, it took many

Anita Adams:

years, but eventually I walked out of my prison. And I'm now

Anita Adams:

living a life aligned with spirit, body and mind while you

Anita Adams:

pack a lot of punch into those two sentences. And you know, I

Anita Adams:

believe that there are a lot of people that have been there or

Anita Adams:

are currently in that position, a prisoner of dysfunctional

Anita Adams:

stories that that they've created that we've created, lost

Anita Adams:

in an illusion. So I want you to talk a little bit about that I

Anita Adams:

want first there's two things, I want to know what it what are

Anita Adams:

the stories that you told yourself that kept you feeling

Anita Adams:

like a prisoner if you're willing to share? And I think

Anita Adams:

perhaps the more important question is, what happened to

Anita Adams:

break you free?

Winston Yeung:

I hope we have enough time to, to cover all

Winston Yeung:

that. When I was very unaware of I call it the conditioning that

Winston Yeung:

was placed upon me. And many people, I would say the majority

Winston Yeung:

of the population on the planet are not aware of that, because

Winston Yeung:

we were just raised and we put we are the way we are. And we

Winston Yeung:

never question it. So I grew up in a culture where men don't

Winston Yeung:

express men don't share their feelings. They don't show your

Winston Yeung:

emotions, you have to figure it out. If you don't figure it out,

Winston Yeung:

then I was always told like Well, are you a man or not? So

Winston Yeung:

that, as you can probably see, sets up some certain really

Winston Yeung:

weird ideas about how I'm supposed to act around this.

Winston Yeung:

Every time I would show some accomplishments because my

Winston Yeung:

parents were born from a generation where you you're not

Winston Yeung:

supposed to be humble. You're not supposed to praise anybody

Winston Yeung:

that never got any acknowledgement. So everything

Winston Yeung:

that I did to get acknowledgement just compounded

Winston Yeung:

on the fact that I never got it. So whatever I did was never good

Winston Yeung:

enough. So I had to do better. Now from the work I've done with

Winston Yeung:

people, I can see how that can go two ways. One, it just turned

Winston Yeung:

You into someone that goes, I'm not good enough and you hide

Winston Yeung:

from the world. Or you do what I did, where I hyper compensated,

Winston Yeung:

and prove to the world that I belong, that I am somebody. So I

Winston Yeung:

went from this person that was told you, you're not good

Winston Yeung:

enough. No matter how hard you work, you can always do better.

Winston Yeung:

And you can't tell anyone about how you're feeling. So you just

Winston Yeung:

have to do this with a and present the world that

Winston Yeung:

everything's a okay. And that just led me down a path of it

Winston Yeung:

was unattainable for one. And it led me down a path where I

Winston Yeung:

suppressed almost all emotion. And I'm just walking around like

Winston Yeung:

a zombie. story that I tell all the time, when I was a kid, I

Winston Yeung:

got 100% on a math test, ran home with a paper. I showed it

Winston Yeung:

to my mom. She looked at it, and this goes, you could have done

Winston Yeung:

better. Like, I don't understand I got a perfect mark. And she

Winston Yeung:

goes, he missed the bonus question. Who else got the bonus

Winston Yeung:

question, right. And that's, that's when I knew I had to go,

Winston Yeung:

I had to go do something better to get the attention that

Winston Yeung:

acknowledgement the love from from my parents. And these were

Winston Yeung:

the stories that started forming. So without any type of

Winston Yeung:

intervention from someone else, I started formulating stories

Winston Yeung:

that I'm not good enough, no matter what I did isn't good

Winston Yeung:

enough. No one wants me if no one wants me unless I give them

Winston Yeung:

something worthy of their acknowledgement. So love became

Winston Yeung:

transactional. I can't get love, I don't present something. But

Winston Yeung:

everything I present isn't good enough. So I never get the love.

Winston Yeung:

So I have to create something better. And that is a an

Winston Yeung:

impossible task. So you just keep striving, higher and higher

Winston Yeung:

and higher. But inside you or inside me was the story that no

Winston Yeung:

matter what I did, even upon presentation, the Whisper is

Winston Yeung:

it's not good, you could do better. Then that activates OCD

Winston Yeung:

that activates perfectionism. All these other behaviors, which

Winston Yeung:

now again, now that it just started dogpiling. So imagine

Winston Yeung:

sitting there going the other story tell at the beginning is

Winston Yeung:

oh I see attractive female want to engage with. And in seconds,

Winston Yeung:

the internal dialogue, just, it doesn't

Unknown:

stop me. It literally tore me apart where it's like,

Unknown:

Who do you think you are? You're gonna go do this. Are you crazy?

Unknown:

And then, because I have such a visual mindset, I could see,

Unknown:

like, 1000s of scenarios this unfold. And my internal self

Unknown:

worth just gets torn apart to a point where not only do I not

Unknown:

engage, I want to leave. Because I'm just hurting so bad for

Unknown:

myself. No one did anything. No one heard anything. No, I never

Unknown:

said anything at all happened inside. And that's the power of

Unknown:

that's the power of the stories that we create from the traumas

Unknown:

that we experience. That's, that's how it all started. And

Unknown:

that's I didn't understand it was a prison. It's like it's a

Unknown:

prison. It's the prison guards. It's, it's an entire structure,

Unknown:

that it's so perfect. Because we created it, every moment of

Unknown:

every day that we live, we are we're not aware that we're

Unknown:

protecting this cell that we're in.

Anita Adams:

It's protection, isn't it? We want to protect

Anita Adams:

ourselves.

Unknown:

Or what are we protecting ourselves from?

Anita Adams:

rejection, at fear of maybe humiliation,

Anita Adams:

confirmation that we're not enough. And I feel like your

Anita Adams:

story is so relatable, that we're, I've been in that that

Anita Adams:

spot where countless times I feel like I'm finally you know,

Anita Adams:

age 52 You know, I'm breaking through my prison, but I've been

Anita Adams:

there. I've been there. I've stopped myself from moving

Anita Adams:

forward with things because of this belief that I'm not enough

Anita Adams:

that I'm not strong enough, smart enough. That was my

Anita Adams:

Achilles heel. I'm not smart enough.

Unknown:

And I believe everyone goes through that. So it's the

Unknown:

guilt and shame So it's self worth low self worth low self

Unknown:

esteem. Not understanding how to embrace and I want to put it

Unknown:

embracing process these these dark emotions I don't want to

Unknown:

say negative, they're just dark emotions because we're never

Unknown:

taught how to. So we're constantly seeking pleasurable

Unknown:

emotions. And then when these dark emotions come up we go oh,

Unknown:

I don't know how to do that I don't like how this feels and

Unknown:

and then that's where alcohol and substances to numb out what

Unknown:

to escape from this and what I didn't understand is you can't

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you can't outrun it it'll build up and eventually you don't have

Unknown:

to face it if I never did the work to understand how to do

Unknown:

that, I'd still be running and to be honest, the turning point

Unknown:

was an all night it was an all night Bender may 3 pretty sure

Unknown:

it's makes it 2013 Which was a Friday, Friday morning I went

Unknown:

home and I and that was a bender that started on Wednesday. Wow,

Unknown:

when I got home look at myself in the mirror and a little voice

Unknown:

inside my head. Whispered I don't want to die. And then that

Unknown:

was and that was it. Like the fear of death is a serious

Unknown:

motivator and it was if you continue this lifestyle you're

Unknown:

going to be dead within five years. It's not a if it's just a

Unknown:

wet because the body can't can sustain it's so much abuse but

Unknown:

the level of abuse was directly correlated by how much pain or

Unknown:

was it

Anita Adams:

what do you think that voice was?

Unknown:

And that that was a lot of the work that I had to do.

Unknown:

So was like who who's speaking like who's speaking to me? Is

Unknown:

this my voice? When it when I heard the I don't want to die I

Unknown:

realized at that moment that it wasn't me because I didn't say I

Unknown:

didn't say it did I think it and then I didn't dive into it at

Unknown:

that point. But as I started doing the work and walking down

Unknown:

my path to heal I realized a I started engaging with this I'm

Unknown:

like well there's there's multiple voices, but this one

Unknown:

was different because it was very faint. And I felt that

Unknown:

differently so it wasn't the inner critic that sits there and

Unknown:

just talks crap about it's not a bash brothers guilt and shame.

Unknown:

Like that, like that's a those are those are all different

Unknown:

voices. This one was was unique. And that's when I started really

Unknown:

listening and following it. And over time, I realized that it

Unknown:

actually wasn't just a voice as I started listening very closely

Unknown:

with it was a voice that would start splitting and then there

Unknown:

were actually more than one voice there. And then I started

Unknown:

I started paying attention okay, there's there's two voices, but

Unknown:

they speak slightly differently. I could only hear one I could

Unknown:

hear two and then as I kept doing the work will do this.

Unknown:

There's a third one there's the fourth one inside me right now

Unknown:

there's seven separate voices, facets of who I am. And each one

Unknown:

of them have their own way of speaking when little Winston

Unknown:

pieces here next to me I have a bit of an artist he speaks in

Unknown:

images. I have my my champion calm Spaceman Spiff. He's like

Unknown:

balls out. Like he's like a little little mini Han Solo,

Unknown:

where anything is possible and what are you waiting for? Have

Unknown:

my shadow can't get rid of the shadow that the ego all these

Unknown:

all these pieces, they all sit there and they all speak and

Unknown:

give you a little bit of insight as to to where where I believe.

Unknown:

I want to get everything to be so where life is. My analogy is

Unknown:

a road trip and you have your vehicle and now I have myself

Unknown:

and seven people passenger's several facets of myself, the

Unknown:

goal isn't to say which one is wrong or right, or who's going

Unknown:

to drive the car. It's to have harmony between everyone in the

Unknown:

car to say, hey, we're going to get to that point, can we just

Unknown:

all agree on the music we're gonna play and the route we're

Unknown:

gonna take, and we, you know, let's just be harmonious and get

Unknown:

there. And then we can then change the music or have a snack

Unknown:

or whatever can but there's a lot less noise, a lot less

Unknown:

conflicts on the way there. And that's, that's the work, in my

Unknown:

opinion, to have a different experience.

Anita Adams:

I'm so fascinated by this story, and this idea of

Anita Adams:

these different personas that you that you turn to into, I

Anita Adams:

often think I I've only for me, I've only identified two voices

Anita Adams:

that speak to me, and one is that inner critic that is

Anita Adams:

telling me I'm not enough that I can't do things. And then the

Anita Adams:

other one is the inner wisdom. That's, that's my definition of

Anita Adams:

inner wisdom. To me, that's, that's spirit. That's God

Anita Adams:

talking through my heart, my soul. And I've learned to

Anita Adams:

differentiate between the two. Because one comes from fear, the

Anita Adams:

ego, that inner critic, and I believe, often it's trying to

Anita Adams:

protect me that because it's it's frightened of that, that

Anita Adams:

big vision or whatever it is that I'm, I'm, I'm feeling

Anita Adams:

called to do. And the other one is, always comes from a place of

Anita Adams:

love. Always. Do you find your seven different personas that

Anita Adams:

you raise that you tune into? Are they always coming from a

Anita Adams:

place of love for you? No, they're not.

Unknown:

No, they come from all all different angles. If I'm, if

Unknown:

I'm working with someone, I tell them flat out, it's a, you're

Unknown:

not just speaking to me, you're speaking to multiple pieces of

Unknown:

the audience that I call it like the board, that we're all

Unknown:

sitting here, and they're all paying attention. And they all

Unknown:

pick up on different things I'm speaking to you about my artist

Unknown:

is over here. It's like almost like a picture in picture. And

Unknown:

he's throwing up magical paint and visions happen. And I see it

Unknown:

in real time. So as I'm describing stuff to you, he's

Unknown:

constantly painting. And I'm seeing stuff to happen,

Unknown:

literally behind you. I have the ego. And the shadow sitting

Unknown:

there saying what I tell people is I hear what you're saying.

Unknown:

But I also hear what you're not saying. And those two guys are

Unknown:

usually the ones that go, Hey, did you pick up on that they

Unknown:

skipped, they skipped over that. They're not telling you

Unknown:

something. And they pick up on that very, very quickly. That

Unknown:

little Winston is one half of spirit. And I had the operator

Unknown:

with operates the Mitsi that they they all pick up on things,

Unknown:

I have the ability to tap into the spectrum of love to fear or

Unknown:

call it fear. I don't have a better term for it. So now I

Unknown:

have accessible spectrum of it. And to go on to work with

Unknown:

someone to work with myself and understand the whole story. It's

Unknown:

not just to say, Oh, we have to come from a place of love. No,

Unknown:

we actually have to go and embrace our shadow to we have to

Unknown:

go and turn around and go to our shadow which we've been usually

Unknown:

avoiding and to say, I see you. I'm not scared of you. I don't

Unknown:

hate you. You are me and I am part of you and embrace it and

Unknown:

integrate that part. Because without the shadow you're not

Unknown:

holy, you're just one half of you. You gotta

Anita Adams:

Okay, I am so jumping to get onto that. Yes.

Anita Adams:

And isn't that coming from a place of love though? Embracing

Anita Adams:

your darkness, the dark side? I think I agree. 100% We all have

Anita Adams:

these different facets is and we all have some darkness in us and

Anita Adams:

experience some darkness and to embrace it and acknowledge it

Anita Adams:

and to examine it. One you have to have I think you have to have

Anita Adams:

a fair amount of self love to be able to do that. And you have to

Anita Adams:

come at it from a loving place.

Unknown:

I I would choose to say you have to come from a place of

Unknown:

compassion. But that's love it I put love at a farther end of the

Unknown:

spectrum that compassion is to be I can find I actually

Unknown:

consider coming from a place of too much love to actually be

Unknown:

smothering. Like like to like, at the far, far end was like,

Unknown:

all loving, like, I actually find all loving people actually

Unknown:

like, like, you're way too much. Because there's, it's not it's

Unknown:

not real Hmm. But to be compassionate to go and look at

Unknown:

some thing or someone with with with curiosity and empathy and

Unknown:

understanding. That's different. It's like I, it's like, I don't

Unknown:

agree with you, I don't like you. But I love to understand

Unknown:

you so I can understand where you're coming from. And then

Unknown:

when I understand you're like, oh, you know, I never thought

Unknown:

about that. And then when there's connection, things can,

Unknown:

things can happen, but to say, I don't agree with you, you know,

Unknown:

hey, I love you, you really cool. I don't agree with you.

Unknown:

But you know that energy's like, there, the other person goes,

Unknown:

No, you're not real, you're just saying, it's just it's a

Unknown:

different vibe. So I'm looking at from a point of, from a space

Unknown:

of compassion and understanding. And when I teach students, the

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example that I use all the time, which they relate to right away,

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is how many of you walk by a homeless person on the street?

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put up their hand? How many of you have chosen to engage the

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person on the street? And then you can just feel anxiety that

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no one wants to answer and like, there's no, there's no shame in

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it. We're, society has conditioned us to act a certain

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way. So today's exercise is we're going to go out, we're

Unknown:

going to engage with some go engage with them and offer him a

Unknown:

coffee. And you're going to ask them to tell your story and have

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a conversation. And then when we debrief, they are all just

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amazed. Like, they're I never knew that. They're just people.

Unknown:

Part of the court that asked in the process is what's worse than

Unknown:

being homeless? What's worse than being lonely? Go, in my

Unknown:

opinion. And my viewpoint, I should say, at first, I thought

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the worst thing could be life is lonely, or alone.

Unknown:

And I held that position a lot because I said don't like if you

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had someone then then if you're hungry, you can share a piece of

Unknown:

bread. If you're sad, you don't have someone else there. It

Unknown:

doesn't matter how much money you have. You're alone. You just

Unknown:

don't have anyone around you. So I said, lonely. And it wasn't

Unknown:

until the winter walk by a lady who was just sitting on the

Unknown:

street, and she said, I'm so cold. And I stopped. I said,

Unknown:

Look, I don't have any money to give you but I be happy to buy

Unknown:

you something hot to eat. Coffee soup, anything to warm you up.

Unknown:

And her reply was, thank you. But I have all that just thank

Unknown:

you for stopping and seeing

Anita Adams:

and seeing me, yeah.

Unknown:

Then I read that I just got punched in the head almost

Unknown:

by I realized she rather be seen than to be warm. Hmm. And I go

Unknown:

the worst. I go. So that's being invisible. Yeah.

Anita Adams:

And how many people feel invisible.

Unknown:

So So to look at it from? So that shifted my my

Unknown:

perspective. So it's like loving, loving and giving, I

Unknown:

want to give it help you. But the goal now shifted, say, I see

Unknown:

you. How can I help you? I've got that change of perspective

Unknown:

from here, definitely down to here. And how those words how

Unknown:

the energy that gets put behind it, how you act towards that

Unknown:

person shifts. That's why I choose to say, you have to come

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from a place of compassion. It is you know, it's in this

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spectrum of love. But to say you have to be loving to me if I

Unknown:

could it kind of I could feel that my skin kind of crawls and

Unknown:

yeah, but because by being compassionate, you also take

Unknown:

into the fact that there there is ugliness, and darkness and

Unknown:

fear and pain. And often I find people that choose to operate

Unknown:

only from a place of love. disregard that. Say I say you

Unknown:

know what, that's fine. That's okay. or dismiss it like that's

Unknown:

okay. You'll get better. It's like well All banks are saying I

Unknown:

understand your pain. And that's where, when I did the work to

Unknown:

myself, I had to look at myself and someone famous question, if

Unknown:

you can go back and talk to a 20 year old version of yourself,

Unknown:

what would you say? I finally got to the point where I said,

Unknown:

Hey, Winston, I see you and I understand you're in a lot of

Unknown:

pain.

Anita Adams:

Awesome, I was gonna grab that, I see you like

Anita Adams:

we need to, we need to have that conversation with ourselves and

Anita Adams:

say, I see you know,

Unknown:

you're in a lot of pain, I get it, you have a lot

Unknown:

of pain. And you have no one to talk to. You believe that no one

Unknown:

understands. And and then when you when you add those

Unknown:

ingredients into the store, that dysfunctional story matrix, like

Unknown:

no one understands no one gets me I can't connect with anyone.

Unknown:

So you create this persona, this mask, and people start, start

Unknown:

engaging with the mask and liking the mask that really

Unknown:

starts messing with you now. It's like, well, people, people

Unknown:

like this, I have to be like this, I can't be me. And now you

Unknown:

just become totally disconnected with yourself because you

Unknown:

believe that no one wants to be with who you are. They want to

Unknown:

be with who this is. So you have to keep putting on this act in

Unknown:

order to get the attention and the engagement that you've

Unknown:

always wanted. Totally understanding that that's not

Unknown:

you. Yeah. And the more I did that, the more and more

Unknown:

disconnected I became. So it's all I'd say, is I take a little

Unknown:

Winston and say, You wait right here, I'll be back. And then you

Unknown:

just keep walking, and totally forget, because you got

Unknown:

distracted as to how to get back there.

Anita Adams:

That's so interesting. Again, very

Anita Adams:

relatable, I'm trying to live up to expectations of society to I

Anita Adams:

think is, you know, is a big pressure on a lot of us. And so

Anita Adams:

we feel we have to be a certain way. And we but we buy into it.

Anita Adams:

And I believe we lose sight of in the process, I believe we

Anita Adams:

lose sight in what we really want and who we really are. And

Anita Adams:

that happened with me and just about ruin my marriage. So, you

Anita Adams:

know, fortunately, I I figured it out. I'll get into that story

Anita Adams:

right now another time, perhaps. But it's, it took a lot of

Anita Adams:

courage to look in at myself, to really look. It wasn't easy. It

Anita Adams:

wasn't easy. It took a lot of time, and a commitment to

Anita Adams:

understand who I am, what I want, and why it matters. And I

Anita Adams:

think those are the three important questions that we

Anita Adams:

always have to ask ourselves, who am I? What do I want? Why

Anita Adams:

does it matter?

Unknown:

Well, I will pose I will pose a question to your

Unknown:

listeners that my guide feather posed to me. I shared a story

Unknown:

about what I don't remember the exact story, but her reply was

Unknown:

why why do you want like, why do you want it? What is over there

Unknown:

that you want so bad?

Unknown:

That that you want so bad? What is it? What do I want? Why do I

Unknown:

want it so bad?

Unknown:

And I was at a loss because then as I'm processing that I'm very

Unknown:

much stuck in my head. Right? So the want is here, but the true

Unknown:

want is down here. And I it took me a while with her guidance to

Unknown:

understand that. What is it you want? Like what is it that you

Unknown:

want? Why do you want it so bad. And my, from where I come from,

Unknown:

if the want is from my mind, that's a that's an ego stroke.

Unknown:

But if the want if I really start paring down and peeling

Unknown:

away and looking at Northern White, it also does start this

Unknown:

resonance I feel from inside of me go okay, that's a true one.

Unknown:

Or a desire or a need or something to take me to the next

Unknown:

level. Or something that I meant to to learn from and to grow

Unknown:

from versus just a ego stroke, an ego stroke a thing or

Unknown:

something cool or material thing. I can manifest material

Unknown:

stuff all the time. I proven it to myself. And it's it's just

Unknown:

stuff and then at the end it's like yeah, And that was fine,

Unknown:

but didn't really meet up to what I thought it would be. And

Unknown:

then you drop it off you go. But if you can tune into identity at

Unknown:

a soul level want and you experience that. It those are

Unknown:

hard to shake.

Anita Adams:

Yeah, that's awesome. And Winston, I want to

Anita Adams:

I want to stop you there because I want to dive into that, what

Anita Adams:

is that process for you? How do you peel back the layers and

Anita Adams:

really get to what it is you want and decipher between that

Anita Adams:

what the ego wants and what what your heart is calling for you to

Unknown:

your it's a, I call it onion theory or onion, their

Unknown:

audio, but go back the layers, they're all different iterations

Unknown:

of it. But simply put, you can do it by yourself with a piece

Unknown:

of paper with a pad or I actually find it a lot better if

Unknown:

you do it with someone. The reason is, when you do it by

Unknown:

yourself, you know, the your the dysfunctional stories and ego

Unknown:

and all that can prevent you from writing down what you

Unknown:

really want to write down. But it's not if you have to say to

Unknown:

someone and you feel the resistance, then you can go

Unknown:

okay, I that. That's resistance. So the process is write down.

Unknown:

White, you know, what is it you want? Or just whatever the

Unknown:

statement is like, I want to go to Cancun, for example. And then

Unknown:

yes, yourself why? And you have to write down 1010 answers. And

Unknown:

you take those 10 answers you throw, you throw it away. And he

Unknown:

asked, and you have to write 10 more. And all the answers have

Unknown:

to be different from the previous one. And as you, you

Unknown:

keep going until you feel and you will feel. For me, it's like

Unknown:

this, this bubble that comes out that that doesn't want to share

Unknown:

what it is. And then that's when you know you're getting really

Unknown:

close to the truth. And when you are able to punch through that.

Unknown:

When you finally start feeling the resistance, you know, you're

Unknown:

getting closer to the true reason as to why you want what

Unknown:

that is. And when you can get to the truth of that. You'd be

Unknown:

cancer free. Therefore for me, I actually find how simple that

Unknown:

request is. But it's masked in so much guilt and shame from

Unknown:

from the trauma, that it's almost like this little boy. And

Unknown:

all he wants like girls, I just want to go play on the beach.

Unknown:

It's all we want to do. I just want to play on the beach. But

Unknown:

there's so much guilt and shame from conditioning wrapped around

Unknown:

that. That it's like no, I want to go to I want to go to Cancun,

Unknown:

so I can go and snorkel and party and play beach volleyball

Unknown:

and all that stuff. So the root answer is all it wants to do is

Unknown:

just to go and walk on the beach and play in the water. Like you

Unknown:

can see how this is the light. And this is the story that we

Unknown:

made up to wrap all these layers around this very simple request,

Unknown:

want that we won't have it like as a child. But then we were

Unknown:

told you can't have it. You can't have it. You're not until

Unknown:

you passionate, right? You can't have it, you can't do it, you're

Unknown:

not good enough. We don't like whatever it is. It's just layers

Unknown:

upon layers. So now we have this grandiose want for a really

Unknown:

simple request. And when we can get down to that level, we can

Unknown:

say, I can say, Wow, what, and this is from Curiosity kicks in.

Unknown:

What else do I want? That's that simple. Like, I want to go have

Unknown:

an ice cream cone. Oh, I gotta go go out and just get trashed.

Unknown:

And then order ice cream for dessert. This is what I truly

Unknown:

wanted. And when you can, when you can start. And it's scary

Unknown:

work. I'm not saying it's simple at all. Because you might find

Unknown:

yourself and think that this is it. And then you could actually

Unknown:

keep going further and further down until you feel that feel it

Unknown:

when you can access that want. Like whatever that desire is.

Unknown:

It's free. Yeah, because it's, it's, it's true. And that's what

Unknown:

I had to go through.

Anita Adams:

And is that something that you you practice?

Anita Adams:

Constantly like it's not like a one and done. It's like a

Anita Adams:

continuous journey of tapping into and trying to figure out

Anita Adams:

what it is that you want.

Unknown:

I wish I could say I was this had a perfect track

Unknown:

record but I probably say i i am successful. At this point 30% of

Unknown:

the time. I'm not even going to make it up that I don't either.

Unknown:

constantly fall back into the conditioning it because I didn't

Unknown:

understand how strong the conditioning is where we've been

Unknown:

facing the conditioning our entire lives. Yeah. So for us to

Unknown:

go up and I've, I've, I've done the work and the conditioning

Unknown:

for me is this Hey guys brutal guard that wants to that is

Unknown:

preventing you from getting another side. So you walk up and

Unknown:

it's a slippery magic King Kong Sydney just swatting you, and it

Unknown:

hurts and wants you to watch it submit and want you to conform.

Unknown:

And then you go back up and you try again it smashes you. You

Unknown:

have to continually pick yourself up. It's like why do I

Unknown:

want this right? Well, I want to get to the other side. I want to

Unknown:

get the other side. And when you do, it's rewarding. But you

Anita Adams:

know that there's there's greatness there. Right?

Anita Adams:

There's greatness within you. And that that those little

Anita Adams:

voices that you hear those personalities that are saying

Anita Adams:

that to you, Winston, you're you're awesome. And they want

Anita Adams:

you to to push past that prison, right?

Unknown:

The guard just comes wrestling? Who the hell do you

Unknown:

think you are Smash, go back there, and then it kicks you

Unknown:

back in then picks you up and starts beating? It's like, do

Unknown:

you want to go there? Who do you think you are? So it's beat? We

Unknown:

start beating on ourselves?

Anita Adams:

Yeah, totally. We're the we're that guard.

Anita Adams:

Yeah. But as you

Unknown:

as you get past once, and the key is once you get past

Unknown:

once, you know it's possible. And that's all you need to know

Unknown:

that it's possible. I think I did it once I can do it a yet.

Unknown:

Second time, you might be even more punishing with it. But then

Unknown:

you have that internal belief that you go, I've done it. I've

Unknown:

done it once I know it's possible, I can do it again. And

Unknown:

then we do it again. That the power that the guard has

Unknown:

diminishes doesn't mean that it's any easier. It just means

Unknown:

that now that you've done it a few times, you know that it's

Unknown:

possible, and then you have the perseverance to continue.

Anita Adams:

It gives you the confidence that you can you've

Anita Adams:

done it before. It's like you've learned that you can do it. So

Anita Adams:

you by learning, you can then go and do it again. Yeah, and it

Anita Adams:

does, I think it does get a little easier. I think

Unknown:

it does. Like you can say okay, the first 10 steps is

Unknown:

sneak past. Past it, like playing a video game. It's like

Unknown:

you get the you get the emotions down. And then you can bypass

Unknown:

most of the first steps because they're always the same. It's

Unknown:

the ladder steps. As you get closer and closer. It gets it

Unknown:

gets more subtle and devious. Because they go. Winston's

Unknown:

coming again, here we go. And what it's what little what

Unknown:

movies, is he going to try this time. And that's and that's the

Unknown:

work to start undoing the conditioning. And when we I

Unknown:

don't know if we can ever truly undo all of it. But if you undo

Unknown:

it to an up to a low enough point, then you can just you can

Unknown:

bypass it, but it still always be there. Yeah, I

Anita Adams:

think you're right, I think it's still will always

Anita Adams:

be there. I think also it's a big key is recognizing what is

Anita Adams:

happening, you know, like if I can identify that oh yeah,

Anita Adams:

that's just my fear, fear fear of failure, fear of humiliation

Anita Adams:

or rejection or whatever it is, like I've been here before and

Anita Adams:

the way through it is just to keep pushing myself keep on this

Anita Adams:

track and and believe in myself. And so my process Winston is I

Anita Adams:

do I go for walks in the forest. And I have these conversations

Anita Adams:

with God the universe and and put it out there and I basically

Anita Adams:

am talking to myself and convincing myself that yes, I

Anita Adams:

can do this, I can do this. And that really helps me take the

Anita Adams:

next step. You know, like just for this podcast, for instance,

Anita Adams:

it's taken me a year to actually do it because it was I was

Anita Adams:

initially really afraid to put myself out there and talk about

Anita Adams:

things like God and the universe and my my Achilles heel of

Anita Adams:

feeling like I'm not smart enough like that. Those are hard

Anita Adams:

things for me to talk about yet I knew these. This was mine to

Anita Adams:

do and I needed to find the confidence and the courage to do

Anita Adams:

it. It took me a year. You're and here we are. So and it's

Anita Adams:

this is part of my journey. And it's I like to call it the

Anita Adams:

joyful journey because the the step every step I take is

Anita Adams:

getting me closer to experiencing more and more joy

Anita Adams:

and I feel like I am living a really joyful life. It's because

Anita Adams:

I'm taking action towards conquering my fears or dressing

Anita Adams:

my fears. And I like the word you use the phrase you use

Anita Adams:

embracing the dark I think we do have to embrace it, we all have

Anita Adams:

it, we have to face it and embrace it. And so I understand

Anita Adams:

it,

Unknown:

the embracing part, the story that goes behind it. So it

Unknown:

was that day. I said didn't want to die. My lifestyle was, you

Unknown:

know, people say it's like, it's like you're going down in

Unknown:

flames. With the plane type thing. And yeah, I was, it was

Unknown:

like a meteor coming coming down. I was I was, I was

Unknown:

escaping so hard. That that's all that's all I wanted to do,

Unknown:

because I didn't, just like I knew the monsters were coming.

Unknown:

Not understanding that. What have been shown is like that,

Unknown:

it's like that dog that's chasing you thinking that it's

Unknown:

going to eat you, when all the dog wants to do is they just

Unknown:

want to say hi. But where do they go, Oh, my God, this dog

Unknown:

chasing after they were running or running and running to a

Unknown:

point where we're running for so long. We don't even want to be

Unknown:

running anymore, we just know that we have to keep running.

Unknown:

And when I finally it took years, to go from that point of

Unknown:

I don't want to die to getting my my mind body and spirit

Unknown:

healthy. So it started with getting the body healthy. And

Unknown:

then as the bodies started getting healthy, and then I

Unknown:

started drinking the substances, then the the soul, the spirit

Unknown:

could heal, because it's just not being poisoned all the time,

Unknown:

the body's not being poisoned. I can, I can start healing that.

Unknown:

And when that started healing, all all these other things I

Unknown:

didn't even know about started happening where I started, I got

Unknown:

the feel. And as weird as that may sound to people, I've only

Unknown:

been able to feel a full range of emotions three years ago. So

Unknown:

prior to that I had very stunted emotional range. So that started

Unknown:

happening. And then when that started happening, I realized

Unknown:

like, there are things I've been missing out on. And that's that

Unknown:

the Land of Illusion I talk about when you're operating with

Unknown:

diminished capacities and filters all over the place that

Unknown:

we created. What we're taking in is not what's actually happening

Unknown:

out there, it's all we get to see and experience and feel.

Unknown:

missing out. So someone the filter started coming down and

Unknown:

the stories don't going away the spirit start healing. That's

Unknown:

when the I caught the, the signal to noise ratio, that's

Unknown:

when the the whispers start getting louder and the noise

Unknown:

starts going down. It's like, hey, I can I can hear you. Oh,

Unknown:

you you want me to always say, oh, turn left instead of right.

Unknown:

Why? Okay, you know what you said turn left, turn left. And

Unknown:

then it's like, Oh, I've missed all that traffic over there.

Unknown:

Thank thanks for the tip. I'm sure many of you experienced

Unknown:

that. I just like simple little nudges. But where did the nudge

Unknown:

come from? And if you follow the nudges, and again, people, your

Unknown:

listeners might have had what I described like the perfect day,

Unknown:

the only call the perfect day where everything just unfolded

Unknown:

beautifully. When you're happy and things are happening. And

Unknown:

you follow the guidance and say do this, do this, do this. Just

Unknown:

the momentum just builds and then at the end of the day, it's

Unknown:

like wow, that was like the best day ever. That's because you're

Unknown:

just following the guidance. Your soul Your heart just goes.

Unknown:

Let's do this. Let's do this. And you're okay. Okay, okay. And

Unknown:

away you go. And it's supposed to be that easy. We're taught

Unknown:

that it's not supposed to be that easy. I go when it is that

Unknown:

easy. It's like why don't I live like this all the time? And I'm

Unknown:

not gonna say it is difficult. I still working on getting to that

Unknown:

state where I am following the guidance more than I'm following

Unknown:

my myself.

Anita Adams:

trusting Him that place that we trust it and

Anita Adams:

listen to it all the time.

Unknown:

All the time. Yeah.

Anita Adams:

I love them. Follow the nudges. I might still that

Anita Adams:

follow the nudges. I love that a lot. I want to ask you, how do

Anita Adams:

you define spirit? What is that

Unknown:

spirit? For me? I define it as you watch men and

Unknown:

block. Yeah. Okay, you know that that scene where the little

Unknown:

alien is inside the head, operating the robot. So spirit

Unknown:

is operator and spirit resides in this meatsuit and and makes

Unknown:

spirit its spirit soul is what's in the meatsuit so it's living

Unknown:

in here and that's how that's how I visualize it so it's a it

Unknown:

makes everything work and it's experiencing everything through

Unknown:

it's inside you so it can't actually experience what's going

Unknown:

on it's it's interpreting everything through our eyes or

Unknown:

senses and everything and then all of the other facets are

Unknown:

guiding it

Anita Adams:

all the other facets are guiding it what are

Anita Adams:

the other facets

Unknown:

don't little instance or all the other voices are

Unknown:

actually going if you want to go I tried to explain this to a

Unknown:

younger class so it made sense April Can you see people in

Unknown:

spaceships so they get you know the communication systems where

Unknown:

they don't always talking to them, but they hear stuff? They

Unknown:

Oh, yeah. Just like that. It's like you're by yourself. You

Unknown:

understand? I say God, hey, like real? Hey, Winston, how you

Unknown:

doing? You don't know what like you think that's someone back at

Unknown:

the base station. radioing in okay, why do you listen to that?

Unknown:

Why is the pilot listening to that? Why are they listening to

Unknown:

whatever's coming in, they can choose to tune into it or not.

Unknown:

So again, it's where are these voices coming from? So that's,

Unknown:

that's why I say it's so all these voices that I have now

Unknown:

clearly identified, and I'm sure that are more helping guide

Unknown:

spirit forward.

Anita Adams:

It's really interesting. That's really, uh,

Anita Adams:

I'm fascinated, fascinated by you, and your stories and, and

Anita Adams:

your definitions. And I feel like I've picked up some really

Anita Adams:

great insights and things that I want to try as well. I'm, I like

Anita Adams:

to think of spirit as my highest self as well, you know, it's a,

Anita Adams:

learning how to listen to that highest self, I believe that if

Anita Adams:

the world learned how to tap into and listen to that highest

Anita Adams:

self, oh my god, we'd be in such a better place

Unknown:

to how I have had similar conversation with each

Unknown:

other. And it took me a while to wrap my brain around this one.

Unknown:

Or she said, I am you and you are me. And we are the same

Unknown:

thing. All of us, all of us are the same claim. And each of us

Unknown:

are having a unique experience. So we can learn.

Anita Adams:

I believe that 100%

Unknown:

Yeah. So if, if that is the case, then to reframe what

Unknown:

you said spirit isn't up there like spirit, we are all the

Unknown:

same. Yeah. So we are we are eager to tap into

Anita Adams:

that and listen to it, we would be in such a better

Anita Adams:

place. I want to this is tied in to this something that I've

Anita Adams:

started practicing with this idea that we are all one going

Anita Adams:

back to you and sending your students out into the street to

Anita Adams:

connect with homeless people. I've started to imagine myself

Anita Adams:

as I am, I am that man. I am that woman sitting on the

Anita Adams:

corner. And with her guitar case and her copper pan for

Anita Adams:

donations, I am the man who's walking on the street talking to

Anita Adams:

himself or or maybe his higher self and in doing this exercise

Anita Adams:

no tremendous compassion for these individuals as whereas

Anita Adams:

before I would go across the street and walk you know try to

Anita Adams:

avoid them. And now I'm I'm imagining myself that I am them

Anita Adams:

I am I am you I am that it just puts you in a different place of

Anita Adams:

connecting with with who you are, and I believe in it makes

Anita Adams:

you helps you really feel the compassion that we need to feel

Anita Adams:

in this world. It's an interesting exercise try.

Unknown:

I I've learned that from my dog My dog doesn't have

Unknown:

to have judgment. I, I've shared the story another time where I

Unknown:

learned from my dog. It was one of walking her and I heard often

Unknown:

sides like that. That's a beautiful dog. And I looked

Unknown:

over, and it was a homeless person. And my dog sitting there

Unknown:

looking at the pigeon sticking around, and then she trotted

Unknown:

over there. And I remember when I tell told the story, the first

Unknown:

time I said, Yeah, and I let her engage them when I let her

Unknown:

engage. Hmm. Why? Why did I not say that about the guy with the

Unknown:

suit? Or the pretty lady? Why did I choose to say I let her

Unknown:

engage with the homeless person? She didn't choose GG engages

Unknown:

everybody. And then I picked up on my own judgment and

Unknown:

conditioning on that. That's like, yeah, why? Why did I say

Unknown:

that? It's okay to engage with these people. But these people.

Unknown:

And I really had to sit with that one. And so now when we go

Unknown:

for a walk, and she's looking at someone, and I'll stop, look at

Unknown:

them, what do you see that like, okay, let's have a look, that

Unknown:

person tried to figure it out. And I realized that when I walk

Unknown:

with her, if we just take a moment to just be in the space

Unknown:

that we're walking in, there's so much happening and not

Unknown:

happening when I say not happening, and so many people

Unknown:

that are disconnected. Here's a person, they're all on their

Unknown:

device, crossing the street, or listening to music, and there's

Unknown:

cars going by, it's like you are just so I call it siloed your

Unknown:

own own little silo, you're totally oblivious to anything

Unknown:

that's going on. And that's that social disconnection that I'm

Unknown:

talking about. Or people are I'm watch people rushing? are you

Unknown:

rushing off to? Why? Why are you in such a hurry? Or, listen, I

Unknown:

just happened to listen to a conversation I go, it's not

Unknown:

really conversation that's like verbal ping pong going over

Unknown:

there. And looking at the space, I mean, as a whole. And

Unknown:

wondering what I could do to shift this. Not to change it,

Unknown:

you know, just to shift it and not to go in there and say, I

Unknown:

didn't interrupt people in their conversations at all, you should

Unknown:

guys do this. Like, what? What could I do to shift this? What

Unknown:

could I do to improve connection. And then,

Unknown:

realization was about to create the spaces to introduce in

Unknown:

introducing how people practice, I didn't say teach, practice,

Anita Adams:

practice, and hence voice story was born. Awesome.

Anita Adams:

You are somebody who I believe is operating from your highest

Anita Adams:

self. And you are a leader who wants to make a difference in

Anita Adams:

the world that you want to have impact. And I am really honored

Anita Adams:

to know you. And to have this time with you today. Winston,

Anita Adams:

thank you so much for sharing a piece of your story with us

Anita Adams:

today and giving me some more ways to look at things and and

Anita Adams:

think about things. So thank you so much. I'm so I'm so grateful

Anita Adams:

for you.

Unknown:

Well, you're welcome. And as I said, there's there's a

Unknown:

lot and I'm sure we covered a whole gamut of topics. And if

Unknown:

your, your listeners have any questions, feel free to email or

Unknown:

reach out to me at winston@voicestream.ca I'd be

Unknown:

happy to engage and answer any thoughts or comments or

Unknown:

questions or just want to connect in the experience? What?

Unknown:

What can come out of that? Because, as I said, in order to

Unknown:

or to create the change, we have to be we have to initiate it

Unknown:

ourselves.

Anita Adams:

100% Yeah. And when we come together apart so one of

Anita Adams:

the reasons why I really wanted to start this podcast was to

Anita Adams:

heighten the collective consciousness and it's through

Anita Adams:

conversations like this. It's through connecting with other

Anita Adams:

people that want something more for our world and want to come

Anita Adams:

from a place of their highest self. And when we connect with

Anita Adams:

others that are doing that we we are we're stronger together,

Anita Adams:

which simply stronger together and we make a bigger impact. So

Anita Adams:

with anything that was said Today in the show, and resonates

Anita Adams:

with you please do reach out to Winston or myself. We will put

Anita Adams:

Winston's contact information in the story notes. So yeah, please

Anita Adams:

do even just reach out and say hello. And if you'd like this,

Anita Adams:

the show, please, please leave a review for us. It all helps.

Anita Adams:

Alright. And I think with that, Winston, we'll sign off. That's

Anita Adams:

all right. Yeah. Thanks, everybody. Thank you for joining

Anita Adams:

us today on the joyful journey podcast. If anything resonated

Anita Adams:

with you, please visit our website at joyful inspired

Anita Adams:

living.com Sign up to receive a free download of our three

Anita Adams:

guiding principles to inner wisdom and become a member of

Anita Adams:

the joyful inspired living community. For a deeper

Anita Adams:

spiritual dive, check out our retreats we offer both in person

Anita Adams:

retreats on beautiful Bowen Island in British Columbia, as

Anita Adams:

well as online retreats that you can do from the comfort of your

Anita Adams:

own home. And finally, if you liked our show, please leave a

Anita Adams:

review so more people can find it and learn how to access their

Anita Adams:

highest self and together will raise the collective