Ask The Expert: Success Becomes Me with Bri Seeley

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Hello hello everybody Michelle Abraham your host I am here today with ask the expert interview with Bri Seeley. Bri how're you doing today?

So good excited to be here with you.

So I'm so excited you're here as well. So many exciting things growing up for you. But let me tell our amplify your listeners just a little bit more about you. Sabrina's got an awesome podcast. She's been a featured podcaster PATA Palooza with us podcast is called success becomes me, which is also an event that she's got, which is coming up in September in Tulsa. So you want to make sure you stay tuned and check in with Bree at the end of this so that you can find out more information about her awesome, awesome event that she's got coming up. But besides all that amazing information and awesome stuff. Brees also a bespoke business designer who works with established both established and emerging female entrepreneurs to create highly profitable businesses through constant revenue creation. So Brees got a consulting business, Seeley enterprises, which is amazing. And she's also the founder of infinite horizons, a nonprofit on the mission to create economic equality for women through business and entrepreneurial education and empowerment, which is amazing. So you may have seen Bree winning awards her business coach of the year or on the TEDx stage delivering her revolutionary talk from wages to wealth and or many other places such as Good Morning America, the Today Show Forbes entrepreneur, women's health and more. So we are delighted to have Bri with us today. We let's dive in. I think we know where to start on this whole journey. A little bit about what what needs to get really, really excited about helping people kind of achieve success from within themselves.

It's interesting, right? Because most people that are on similar stages as us are doing things we do, right it it starts with us. And so really, I was I just graduated grad school, I had moved back to the states from Italy got a job and realized like I was making pennies, I was not happy. I was like a struggling artist I and I didn't want any of that. And so then it was like, Well, you have to go get a day job. So I went and got my day job. And then I was like, well, but now I'm not fulfilled because I'm not doing what I studied, which is my passion. So like, here I am at this crux of, I need to make money. But I quote unquote, can't make money from what I love doing. And so of course, as any good entrepreneur does, I kept the day job kept getting promoted, kept getting, you know, more and more and more money started my business on the side. And as every time they would give me a raise, I would put my hours back in my job and increase my hours in my business. And so I just I got faced really early on with this thing of, I don't want to follow the traditional status quo path that is not for me, it spins me into anxiety attacks, I feel a trapped, I just like I spend most of my days in bed, I cry a lot like that is not my pathway. And I am not here to feel terrible in my life. Every day, that is not an option for me. And so you know, I and then I started looking back on like the opportunities that were available to my mom and my grandma, my great grandma, which I talked about in my TED talk. And I was like, I am going to disrupt this pattern both for myself for my generational lineage and also for all the other women like we shouldn't be having to sacrifice who we are, and what we need in order to just simply make a living. So that's when I really dove deep into entrepreneurship, and then started teaching other women entrepreneurship and started helping them get to their financial freedom goals and their lifestyle freedom goals. And it's just really continued to spiral and I think the consistent through line has been this idea of allowing each of us to take our own journey, allowing you know me to identify what's important to me what a success look like to me and then go out and create it and then helping other women do the same thing. Now I tend to believe that entrepreneurship is the quickest path to that goal. But you know, people do it in all sorts of different ways. And again, it's not about having a one size fits all model. It's about empowering each of us to figure out that definition of success for ourselves, and then give ourselves permission to create it.

Yeah, I love that. And I know you, you and I were sharing earlier, before a press record about your client saying how much she appreciated that have you not looking to fit her success into a box, but allowing it to create from within her and then and then she moved towards something that she created, which I love. And, you know, we were, we were discussing about how, you know, the American dream, and I call it the Canadian dream to because it's the same one on both sides of the border, and I happen to be on the other side of the border, North American country, right, that get a car, the house, the kids, all that kind of stuff. I know, when my husband and I did all that and checked all those boxes, and then looked at each other, like, Who the hell is this? Not mine? It's not yours. What are we doing? Right? I think that, you know, there needs to be that new North American Dream created, I think you really hit on the nail, but it should be it should be the dream that's created from with with within us.

DISM Yeah. And that's, that's something I've been lucky to kind of know little things about myself along the way. Like one of the things apparently, I told my mom when I was five years old, that I never wanted to have kids. And like, and so I was on the Today Show and 2014 talking about it. I had a viral article I was just featured on The Daily Show last few months ago, about being child free. And so like, I feel like there have been bits and pieces of me that I've always known. And what's been interesting is I say those things, or I'll share those things, especially like when I was in college, I'd be like, Yeah, I don't ever want to have kids and all of my sorority sisters. And even my boyfriend at the time was like, Oh, that's so cute. Like, you'll change your mind. And I was like, Who are you to tell me what I want in my life and who I am like, I am pretty strong. And I'm clear enough to know like, what works for me and what doesn't work for me. And don't try to tell me that I need to change myself in order to fit into your definition of success or to even make you comfortable. Like, it just it's so interesting to me how we want to, and it's happening all over the world right now to is like unless you fit into this box that I've defined as success. You are you're not you're not a human, you're not a person you're not worthy of there's just, it's just so ridiculous. I'm like, what if we lived in a world where every single person we're allowed to just be themselves and to accept themselves and be accepted by other people simply for the fact that they know themselves and know what they want know what's going to make them happy in the world?

Yes. And that should be celebrated more than anything else is that they know what makes them happy, which therefore the ripple effects of that is going to be ginormous. Right? Like, it's just surprises me that we're not there yet. And I don't know, I can't understand why we're not there yet. Because it's clear to me, it's clear to you, it's clear to a lot of people we are you know, working with the iPhone, we forget that we're in the entrepreneurial space, we're in that space where people have already decided that that's the life for them. And that's what they believe. So for our our listeners listening at home that are you know, thinking or they're maybe in the beginning stages of entrepreneurial journey, what are some things that you would like to share with them about, you know, how they can like keep their maintain their integrity, but also like, extend the longevity of being an entrepreneur, because for some, it's a quick in and quick out because it's a scary, vulnerable place unless you get going in a good path and have some good support. Any advice for those that are on right now?

Yeah, so two things, you know, I'll say if you're if you're a newer entrepreneur, or just still a little insecure about entrepreneurship, and oddly enough, both things I'm about to say come down to the same thing. And that's you have to know yourself. So if you're in that situation, and you're feeling insecure, then maybe you do need a day job while you're building your business. And there's nothing wrong with that. I had my day job for the first seven years of my entrepreneurial journey. And like I said, I was lucky I got to decrease my hours every single time I got I got a promotion. But if you need a day job right now to feel secure and building your business, do it. There's so much stuff out there that's like well, if you're not a full time entrepreneur, you're not a real entrepreneur. Bs says who your journey is your journey and if you if you need a really good book to read about this the My Favorite book, it's not an entrepreneurial book, but it is my favorite book to recommend entrepreneurs is the alchemist. Oh yeah. There's a section in the book where he gets quote unquote derailed from pursuing his vision by getting quote unquote, stuck at this china shop for two years on his way to find his treasure, right? Maybe you need to be at that china shop for two years while you're building your business, in order to feel safe and secure to maintain that longevity, right? So go out and read that book. It's a great book, I read it literally every year, I'm currently in the midst of reading it right now. The other thing I will say, too, you know, whether you're new or established, it is so important with every single step you take. If there's something outside of you, that's calling it your attention, to run it through your internal system before you decide on it, right? Like, again, there's so many clever marketers out there that are like, you need this thing. And if you don't do this thing, your business is going to fail. And you have to do it this way. And if you don't do it this way, and the only way to succeed in business is a webinar and this and that, and there's not one way to succeed in business. And if that modality doesn't work for you, but doesn't feel aligned for you, it's never going to give you the results you want. So every single step you take in your business has got to be filtered through, does this feel in alignment for me? Am I taking the step from an aligned place? Or am I taking the step from a place of scarcity and lack and fear because I might fail if I don't take it. And if you take that step from scarcity and lack and fear, I hate to tell you, it is never going to produce the results you want. The only way to produce the results you want in your business is to take them from a place of alignment. And so like and again, that comes back to knowing yourself, and knowing what's going to work for you and making sure that that next step you're taking is leading you towards that bigger vision you have it all has got to be in alignment.

I love that. And I'm glad you know this conversation is coming out and it should be conversation that's for sure been had like years ago, and I've watched in the especially in the online space. And I've done this myself like going from like, expert to expert to the vehicle. That's the thing that's right now that this is what you got to do. And it's distracted me so much over the last like 10 years from actually like internalizing What do I want? Where do I want to go? And how am I going to get there, by like having this radar of all these other shiny objects that have really derailed everything I've worked hard for and taken me like twice as long to get there because I've listened to all those things, instead of us listening and, and seeing if this is in alignment with me. And in fact, you know, I think it's something I've had been having conversations with so many women and entrepreneurs, especially over the last few years is that they have gotten out of alignment, and they have gotten so far out of alignment, that it no longer works for them and to be okay to come back to alignment and be okay to take a pause on things to realign and relaunch refresh. I should have just said a retreat for five days in Colorado called relaunch. And it was it was all about that like what is it that is true for you right now they ended when you're in that alignment be okay with that. I mean, even podcasting when you go and start a podcast, and all of a sudden now a few episodes later is not in alignment anymore. It's okay to stop and like realign and refresh. We call it evolving out loud. And I think if we've had any, I've had that word evolving out loud in my business right from the beginning, it would have given me I felt like I had more permission to kind of like, recheck a little bit more often, instead of following this path all these other people are doing and if they had success doing it, I must have had success doing it as well. But if it's not aligned for me, it's not never gonna work, right?

Yeah. And there's been so many I just, I just got done working with someone at the beginning of this year 2023. And, you know, the person was like, well, we have this other thing, like you should keep working with us. And I said, you know, the biggest thing that I got out of working with you, I didn't hit my financial goal. I didn't like none of that stuff. The biggest aha I got was that I hate my business as it currently exists. You know, and it's like, that was that was totally worth the investment for me. I needed to reach that point. Right. And I the only thing of working with that person made me realize that I was just so out of alignment with who I wanted to be in the world, the impact I was making all the stuff that I was like, Well, no wonder it didn't work. And what's funny is since leaving that container I set out to just kind of, you know, do some things on my own. And I have actually hit that goal. Like by getting back into alignment and what's funny is I've actually taken some steps back for my business, because I'm getting ready to realign and relaunch. And I've had the three biggest months, I've done more in the last three months than I did in all of 2022. Like, yeah, so it's, it's just really fascinating what happens, you know, we think that if we're pulling back a little bit that if bad things are gonna happen, or it's like, when you get into alignment, and you're like, things are starting to click into place, it's amazing what just happens and comes and shows up when that is aligned with what you're creating. Yes.

Oh, my gosh, so, so true. I went on a retreat last week, and I was like, oh, gosh, like six days away from business. We made more money when I was away that I did when I was there. And so I feel like the more time and space I give myself, it was this like hamster wheel that was petrified to put the brakes on, because it was the need for making more money to fulfill this, because this and this and this and this, and it was like, but if I just pause everything for a moment, and actually give capacity and space to what I can really what I really want. Although it was scary to for me to feel like I was slowing down. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like how we're going to pay it pay for everything like, and you know what? Those the best thing ever, because that space allowed me to really pull in, get close to what I wanted to actually do.

It's interesting I'm actually currently reading, it's easier to 10x than to x. I think it just came out, I saw someone else posted about it. And I was like, Oh, that's a fascinating concept. Let me let me learn more about it. Basically, what they say in the book is that if you want to double your business, if you want to to x your business, essentially the way you do it, is by doubling your effort, right. So you have to work two times harder to get two times the results. If you want to 10x your business how often times it requires you to work 80% less. And by working 80% less, you can actually 10x your business. There's obviously more that goes into it than just that. But that's like, the overarching and it's so interesting that we have this idea that if we're like if we want to make more, we have to do more. What if we don't have to do more in order to make more like what if the alignment piece that being piece is more important? And we're working? What is it that working smarter, not harder idea? Like, it's just it's so fascinating to think about, we've been so conditioned into like, well, if I want more, I gotta work more. Like no, we need to be more in alignment with who we are, what our vision is what works for us. And then then we find the growth we're seeking.

This year, I've been in battle with my coaches, because like, I was like not seeing that, like my gift is like connection and bringing people together. And I'm like, but that seems too easy. Like I'm like, the more that we've like coming to realize, like, that is so easy for me because that's what I meant to be. And it's and I can make a lot of money doing it. I just couldn't see it because it was so easy for me. So thinking coming from that like oh, condition that has to be hard in order to like, make it

And that's so much I feel like that's another like big conditioning piece is that like, you can't make money on something that comes easily to you. Like, who made up that rule? That is not that's not in my playbook. I'm, I refuse to live by that rule. No way. Like, I actually firmly believe that the things that come easiest to us are the things we should be monetizing. And they're oftentimes the things we love the most. Because what happens is, what you love the most, what comes easiest to you is different from what I love the most and what comes easiest to me. And so that's where people find value in those things like well, gosh, it's so easy for you. It's not easy for me I'd love to pay you. Yeah, because it's easy for you. So I think that there's also an opportunity there as the listeners are redefining their paradigms of success is to really look at you know what comes easy to me and can I give myself permission to become abundant become wealthy offer, you know what comes easy to me in exchange for payment? Because why not?

Yes, I love it. One of my clues was that my calendar was constantly fall and it was like it was constantly full and the minute that I was able to get it pared down a little bit he got full again. And I'm like what is this what is this telling me? I said What am I what am I avoiding by filling my calendar up so full that I have no time to think or like process and my spirit team kept waking me up at three o'clock in the morning saying this idea this idea you got to do this. Can we get this have this conversation during the day please like no Because I have no time during my date for thinking about CES, right? That was a good, really good clue to me that I need to like, just pair it on my calendar. Love it. So there's some thinking in nature timing there and to, you know, help bring in some of those great ideas.

Yep.

So funny. So Bree, you have an event coming up September in September. So tell us a little bit about the event.

Yeah, success becomes me is an activation. The idea is to really help you step into what is that next level success for you? What does it feel like? What does it look like? Who's the future you that has that and like, really allow yourself to turn that on within yourself, give yourself permission to say yes to it. And then it's two days of energetic expansions, learnings, tools, resources, networking, like all sorts of just like really, it's going to be a really beautiful event. And so it's happening in Tulsa, but also virtually so if you'd like to attend, but you can't make to Tulsa up, you can get virtual tickets, and we're just so excited, there's I think about 18 speakers coming in from around the country, to contribute to the event is going to be a really, really, really great event. And if you get a VIP tickets come in person, we have a rooftop party happening, and just lots of other really cool, cool perks and incentives and fun experiences with it.

Yeah. And as someone who has attended a lot, I'm gonna really try to get there because I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. And there's someone who's attended a lot of events, it the magic is is happens in person, like the magic happens in person. And the you cannot be in a better aligned environment in room than what Brees putting together to make that magic happen for your business and for you. And being surrounded by other people. This is one thing I've learned recently is that, I think because I'm always surrounded by amazing women who do incredible things. That's the world I live in. It's so interesting to me when I bring other women in who are entrepreneurs as well, like, Oh, thank you for connecting me like I was sitting at home alone by myself. You don't have any connection of community to be part of to help me grow like what like No, like you gotta get in with around the people that are also doing the same sort of thing that you want to do and and being in alignment and growing their businesses. And when you if I was to say something about this to my friends at home, my paint the friends are here with their home, they don't really understand. But my friends in business understand this world and are there to support and lift each other up and have that community of other other entrepreneurs that are on this journey to is so important to your growth. I think so what Brees putting together sounds absolutely amazing. And exactly what you need to kind of like, figure out like, am I working too hard? I yeah, baby. Is this a success? I want I don't know. And you know, just for those of you listening know, my husband and I did the same thing. We were living that a Canadian American dream until we had a flood in our house. And it made us move out of our house. And now we live in a cabin in the woods. And is this our dream now? Yeah, no, this is our dream now. Not the house in the car and the kids and the careers like it was in the city just wasn't feeling aligned for us. And wow, was it hard? Wow, is this easy? And so great. So I love what you're up to Bree. And thanks for joining us today. Any last words for our listeners before we like go today?

Yeah, I mean, I just piggybacking off of what you just said, I had a similar thing. I was living in New York City, and thought that that was like that had been my dream since I was five. And I never really reevaluated it and I think I needed it. And then the second the pandemic hit the universe was like, All right, let's go. And I got relocated to Tulsa, Oklahoma, which was never on my bucket list. It was never, never even on a long list. Like, there was no list anywhere. And now I live in a beautiful home. With I'm looking out on our beautiful backyard. We have owls in our backyard. We have I mean, like my boyfriend just got a vassula. So we now both have Vespas that, like talking about the ease of living is just such a different experience. And I had this kind of moment where I was like, wow, what if my business can be the thing that's like, you know, hectic and stressful and fast moving and all these things? And what if I don't have to also live in a place that's like that. And so over the last three years, I've been just really excavating and truly redefining what success means for me. And I'm really excited to be sharing it with more people and giving them permission because growing up in the Midwest, you know, New York was the dream, right? And coming back to the Midwest had this like, am I failing because I'm walking away from my dream and same with my fashion business. I walked away from that. It's like, well, am I failing because I'm walking away from something that used to be aligned for me and that's really what success becomes me both the podcast And the event are about is like giving yourself permission to realign to grow to, like you said, evolve out loud. And just do it in a really fun way because it's not supposed to be painful or arduous. Like, let's get together, let's party. Let's have fun. Let's get you in alignment and get you out there and living your best life. So if anyone is interested in learning more about success becomes me the website is success becomes me.com.

I love it. Make it simple. And yeah, get your butts there, ladies, it's gonna be a lot of fun. I really thank you so much for joining us today and amplify, you amplify your family. Make sure you just take a check in where are you at? Are you living in alignment, or DVC evolve out loud in an exponential way like I did. This is something that happens over time. Like I've had to do this many times. It's not just something you do once and everything's perfect. It's like the more you grow, especially all of us that are involved in personal development. The more you grow, the more you need to recheck in and realign yourself with where you're going. So I love it. Thank you so much grace for being there with you. And Alright guys, have a fabulous week. We'll